The Women of Duck Commander (17 page)

My other grandfather, Papaw James, and grandmother, Mamaw Lola, had a fishing camp. I remember lots of lazy summer days when the men in our family went fishing early in the mornings and the rest of us swam and soaked ourselves in the sun until they got back. When they returned, we all took the boat out again for an afternoon of water skiing, tubing, and knee-boarding. At night, we fried the morning’s catch for dinner and always had delicious meals because both of my grandmothers were great cooks.

When I think back to my growing-up days with my extended family, I also remember being so excited as a little girl, at early elementary school age, when I went hunting with my dad, my uncles, and my grandfather. On those cold mornings, they let me drink coffee with lots of cream and sugar. That was a real treat, and I loved it!

Both of my grandfathers, my uncles, and my dad were all outdoorsmen, so part of my generational legacy is part of Jep’s legacy too. We both come from people who know how to bait hooks and load rifles—and how to clean and eat what they kill. Both of our families include careful, responsible hunters and fishermen who understand nature and the life cycles that take place in it. They know how to respect and work within the natural order of things.

I also come from a line of women who know how to garden and how to cook—not just cook, but how to cook
really
well. In the South, that is important! I love and appreciate my family so much, and I am thankful for the great family experiences I had growing up.

Like me, Jep also loves all of his family and is very loyal to them. He had especially good relationships with Granny and Pa. Because they lived so close to Phil and Miss Kay when Jep was a little boy, he stayed with them a lot while Miss Kay was busy working. In fact, Granny taught Jep how to bait a fishhook and how to play hearts and gin rummy. Miss Kay likes to talk about the fact that Granny and Pa taught the boys how to play dominoes, which really helped them with their math skills. Now she is a lot like they were because she loves combining play and fun things with learning opportunities. Both Granny and Pa taught Jep and his brothers a lot of important lessons about life, which they still remember and are passing on to their own children.

Our daughter Merritt is named after Granny. When all the grandchildren were born, Granny made each of them an afghan. When she found out Merritt was her namesake, she made Merritt two!

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HE
V
ALUE OF
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AMILY

Jep and I are doing our best to teach our children the importance of spending time with family. We understand the value of the generations and want our children to know and love their grandparents the way we knew and loved ours, so we try to make sure they see their grandparents several times a week. I sometimes hear about people who do not get along well with their in-laws, and they hinder their children’s relationships with their grandparents. This always makes me sad because I believe grandparents add so much to children’s lives and that young people suffer when they cannot be around their grandparents. The love of a grandmother is different from the love of a mother; the same is true for fathers and grandfathers, and children can really benefit from all the generations before them.

Most Wednesdays Miss Kay takes the girls to Outback or Cracker Barrel and then to Hobby Lobby for little prizes or trinkets. She also takes them to libraries and reads to them. And, of course, she lets them check out books from “their” library at her house.

I want my children to spend as much time as possible with all of their grandparents. My parents have something special to offer them, just as Phil and Miss Kay do. I believe the children need to hear stories about Miss Kay’s hard times and they need to learn
from Phil how to get along in the woods. They even need to know Uncle Si went to Vietnam and risked his life for the freedom they now enjoy.

O
UR
D
REAMS
C
OME
T
RUE

The children also need time with Jep and me and with each other. Jep and I really make an effort to have family night with our children at least once a week. Jep and I both always wanted a large family; that was something we talked about and dreamed of before we married. Now we have been blessed with four awesome children.

Lily, our oldest daughter, has always been so sweet and loves everyone. She was born in 2002 and went through a lot of illness during the first few years of her life, including a weeklong hospital stay for rotavirus when she was two years old. Through all her illnesses, she remained the sweetest little girl, not crying or fussing very much, even though I know she was uncomfortable.

Lily has always been quiet, and she gets that from Jep, not from me. I am definitely a talker! Lily is shy, but she is also smart and hardworking, and she makes good grades in school. She loves babies and music. In fact, not long before I started writing this book, she started taking mandolin lessons. She also has good athletic abilities, and whether she is playing a sport, doing her homework, or doing something else, she gives 100 percent. I love Lily’s sweet spirit and the way she loves everyone.

Merritt is our second child and second daughter. She was my hardest baby and literally cried almost all the time; but she is a
surprisingly easy child. She is strong, spunky, and independent. Like her dad, she does not feel the need for other people’s approval (I am much more of a people pleaser). Because Merritt does not make decisions based on what other people think, she is really good at choosing friends. She decides whether or not to be friends with people based on their character and personality, not based on whether they are considered “popular.” I love the confidence I see in her. Merritt is a talented singer and pianist, and she took up the guitar not long before I started writing this book. She is also a pretty good golfer, and Jep is really glad about that!

Priscilla is our third child and third daughter. Of all our children, Priscilla looks the most like Jep. Her baby pictures are almost identical to his. She is definitely our sassiest child! She is extremely competitive, yet she is also very sweet, and she loves to hug and give kisses. Physically speaking, she is tough, and she does not recognize her own strength. Because of her strength and toughness, I will not be surprised if she excels in sports someday. Priscilla is also very girly. She loves to wear dresses, curl her hair, and play with baby dolls. She also plays the piano and takes fiddle lessons. Jep says I baby her more than the others, and I just say, “Well, she will always be my baby girl.”

Our fourth child and only boy is River. He is the last of the Robertson grandchildren and the last of Jep’s and my children, so I have to admit he gets a little spoiled. He is such a cutie, with Jep’s dark hair and blue eyes, and those famous Robertson dimples! At the time of this writing, River is five years old. I know he will have another leading lady in his life someday, but for now I am enjoying this time when he wants his mama more than anyone else. He is “a
lover and a fighter.” He loves on me all the time, but he also gets physical with his sisters over something on a daily basis. He can be a little stinker in that way, but he really loves his sisters. I know that being around all these girls will help him be a better husband one day.

T
HE
P
RIORITY OF
F
AMILY
T
IME

With our busy schedules, family time together is not always easy for us, but it is important, so we try to prioritize it even if we have to sacrifice other things. “Family night” means different things at different times; the only requirement is that we spend time together as a family. Sometimes, we all cook and eat outside together. Then Jep and I watch the children play and light the fire pit so we can end the evening with s’mores. Sometimes we play games or watch good, clean, wholesome movies.

On some family nights, Jep and I teach the children a Bible lesson because we know how valuable God’s Word is and how much it can help them in life. We want them to know what it says and to be able to understand what it means so they can apply it in their lives, even at their young ages.

As often as possible, whether it’s family night or not, Jep and I cook dinner for the children. Well, actually, Jep prepares the meals and I clean up. I absolutely love the fact that my man can cook! Two of our favorite family activities are playing Monopoly and making the kids’ all-time favorite dessert, homemade snow cones. Several times a week, Jep takes the kids outside to hit golf balls and they
have so much fun doing it. Jep has fun, too, but I am pretty sure he secretly wants one of them to turn pro!

Recently, we came up with an idea for an activity that has had such a positive impact on our family. We give everyone a chance to draw a word out of a hat. Every word in the hat comes from Galatians 5:22–23, a scripture passage that refers to “the fruit of the Spirit,” meaning the qualities of a person whose life is filled with and led by God’s Holy Spirit. It says: “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”

We have nine words in the hat, and we draw one each week. I post the word on the refrigerator, and it becomes the character quality we all work on for the next seven days. Let me tell you, my children do not forget what we are working on that week, because when one of them does not display that particular fruit, the others will let him or her know. I can’t count the times I’ve heard someone say, “You are not being patient with me,” or “Remember, we’re supposed to be working on kindness this week, and you are not being kind!”

Like any mom, I would really like for each person to work on his or her own fruit before pointing out someone else’s shortcoming, but I have to say: it works!

In our family, we make it a point to pray together as much as we can. I believe some of the sweetest prayers ever prayed come from children, because they are so pure-hearted, so innocent, and so full of faith. As a mom, I just love to hear them talk to God, and of course, I love it when they see the answers to their prayers.

Family—and everything family means to us—is the legacy Jep and I want to leave our children. A big part of that legacy is a
commitment to faith and love. My parents have lived that way and so have my grandparents. That’s what I have seen in them, and that’s what I want our children to see in Jep and me. If they do, we will have succeeded. And if Jep and I can raise children who live according to the fruit of the Spirit, know and obey God’s Word, pray, and love their family, we will have accomplished something very fulfilling, and we will have given them the foundation they need in order to build great lives in the future.

18

JUST CALL ME MAM

Lisa

I am so glad Miss Kay and my sisters-in-law have happy memories with their grandparents. My memories are less pleasant, simply because my grandparents’ house was the place where a member of my extended family abused me for years. Even though I spent a lot of time there, much of it was filled with fear and pain. But my grandmother was a very sweet lady, and my mother tells me I received some of my physical attributes from her. If you wonder what I mean, let me get specific: hips and rear!

My grandmother and I spent a lot of time together during my childhood, and when I stayed with her, she took me fishing about three times a week. That is how I learned to spit, potty in the woods, and bait a hook. Those times with her were also where I gained my love for fishing with a cane pole. She could slap that thing down in the water like nobody’s business! When she took me fishing, we caught bream and then went home to scrape ’em, clean ’em, and eat ’em.

My grandmother also let me help her in her garden, and I still love to shell peas and shuck corn because of her influence. I spent a lot of time with my grandmother; I do not fault her for the choices my relative made, but my memories sometimes get a little skewed when I think of my childhood with her.

My biological family has endured a lot of sadness and hardship over the years, so sometimes looking back is difficult. I lost my father to cancer, my sister and brother to alcoholism, a nephew to a motorcycle accident, and many aunts, uncles, and cousins for different reasons. I am the only child left to my mother. She has really been through a lot of heartache, but she has endured, and we are held together by our mother-daughter bond and Christ’s love. She is very strong and opinionated, and Alan will quickly say I received that trait from her.