“Of course.”
“Carl?”
“I think we need it.”
Nathan nodded, looking around again, debating about whom to call. Then his eyes came back to Carl. “Carl? Would you offer that prayer for us?”
Carl was so startled that he visibly jumped a little. “Me?” He was not the only one who was looking surprised. Melissa looked dazed for a moment.
“Yes. You may not be a churchgoing man, but we all know you are a God-fearing one. I know that you and Melissa pray in your family. This isn’t just a Mormon question, Carl, it’s a family problem. We need a family prayer.”
Melissa reached out and laid her hand on Carl’s arm. When he turned to look at her, she nodded silently at him.
“All right,” he finally agreed. He lowered his head, closing his eyes. The rest followed suit. “Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.” There was a long pause. “O God, we come to you in prayer. We come to ask for your help. We care very much for this family. We know that our family is a great blessing. Now we face a real problem. Circumstances are combining to split us apart. We do not want that to happen. Help us to know what is best.”
There was another long pause, and in the silence, Nathan heard Melissa sniff softly.
“O Lord,” Carl went on after a moment, “we want to do what is right. We want to be good. Help us now to know how we best can do that. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
There was a choked cry, and as Lydia opened her eyes, she saw Carl put his arms around Melissa and hold her tightly. Lydia found her own eyes stinging, and saw that several others were near tears too.
Nathan slowly straightened. “Thank you, Carl,” he said softly. “I think you have prayed what is in all of our hearts.”
“Yes,” Matthew murmured. Several others were nodding.
Carl inclined his head briefly. “I appreciate your recognizing that if Melissa and I choose not to go, it doesn’t mean we are turning our back on God or on the family.”
“No one thinks that, Carl,” Lydia responded.
“I know, and we appreciate that.”
“But that is the issue before us, isn’t it?” Nathan said, his voice still filled with gravity. “I think we all recognize now, after what was said in conference, that come next spring the Church will be leaving Nauvoo. And this time it won’t be going just a couple of hundred miles. We are going who knows how far. And that is not all. We are going into the wilderness. There are no railroads, no stage service, no canal boats or river steamers there. Mail service, if any, will be extremely limited. For all intents and purposes, the separation will be total and, for a time at least, quite permanent.”
Every eye was upon him, and every face registered the reality of what he was saying.
“I think we all know where each of us stands, but I’d like to have it formally noted. Perhaps not all of us have made a decision yet, and that’s fine, but I’d like each couple to say what that decision is if they have decided.” He turned and looked down at his wife.
She looked at him for several seconds, then turned to the others. “Yesterday, after the afternoon meeting, I happened to be talking to Newel Knight and his wife, Lydia. I asked them what they thought, now that our going was certain. Sister Knight looked right at me and, without the slightest hesitation, said this: ‘There’s nothing to discuss. Our place is with the kingdom of God. We shall set about immediately to make preparations to leave.’”
Lydia’s head came up now and she looked steadily at the family that she loved so dearly. “That’s how we feel. The kingdom of God is going west. Nathan and I will be part of it as long as they’ll have us.”
Nathan reached out and laid his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently. Then he turned to Solomon and Jessica. “Let’s just go right around the room.”
“We’re going west with the Saints,” Jessica murmured.
Solomon nodded gravely. “Yes.”
Nathan nodded and turned to Matthew and Jenny.
“Going,” they said together.
Next was Derek and Rebecca. There was no hesitation there either. “We’ll be going,” Derek said in a clear, calm voice.
With a deep breath, Nathan looked at Melissa and Carl. Melissa’s head dropped. “Not going,” Carl said slowly.
“Will you be returning to Kirtland?” Nathan asked.
Melissa’s head came up and her eyes were shining. “No. This is home now. For us and the children.”
“That’s good,” Nathan said, and he genuinely meant it. Nauvoo was six hundred miles closer to the West than Kirtland was. “I think once the main body of the Church leaves, things will be all right here.”
“Yes,” was all Carl said.
Now Nathan was looking at the young couples. Peter glanced at Kathryn. They had discussed this at some length earlier today, knowing what the purpose of the family council was to be. “It won’t be without challenge,” Kathryn said with some sadness, “but yes, we will be going.”
Will and Alice took each other’s hands. “As you know,” Will said, “I’ve committed to work for Walter Samuelson until spring. But we’ll be back then and we will be going with you.”
Nathan saw Joshua’s deep frown, but said nothing. He hadn’t meant them to be last, but Joshua and Caroline had taken the end chairs. Now every eye turned to them. Caroline was looking at her hands, which were folded tightly in her lap. Joshua was watching her carefully, but she didn’t look up and so he finally turned to Nathan. “As you might guess, we haven’t decided for sure, but we’re thinking of going to St. Louis.”
Now Caroline’s head did come up. “We?” she asked in a faint whisper. And then, mindful that all were listening, but needing to say it anyway, she went on. “I’m not saying that I won’t go with you, Joshua, but it is
you
that is thinking of St. Louis, not me.”
It was as if all the others in the room were forgotten. Since he and Will and Alice had returned from St. Louis, Joshua had tried to talk with Caroline about this question. Each time it ended either in impasse or tears or both. He spoke to her softly. “I don’t think it’s wise to stay here in Nauvoo, Caroline.”
“I don’t want to stay here.”
“And I don’t want to take my family off into the wilderness and risk their lives.”
“I know it is not just my decision, Joshua,” she answered right back. “But if it were, my answer would be to go.”
“And my answer would be to go to St. Louis.”
“So?” she said sadly. “Do you have the final say?”
“No, you know I’m not saying that. But do you?”
She shook her head, then looked at Nathan. She was near tears now. “As you can see, the Joshua Steed family has not yet decided what to do.”
“I understand. And that’s fine. For those of us who are going, we must begin preparations immediately. We all heard the list of what each family must bring. Peter was able to get us a copy of it from the print shop. So we have it before us. We have food to gather, equipment to make or buy, property to sell.”
Kathryn’s head came up. Her eyes filled with anguish as a thought struck her. “Steed Row will no longer be Steed Row, will it?”
That hit them all hard, Nathan no less than the others. He had to swallow once. “No,” he said softly, “Steed Row will soon be only a memory.”
“That makes me want to cry,” Jenny said, her face looking like she was going to. “There have been so many happy times here.”
“And what if you can’t sell?” Carl asked.
There was a long silence, and then Derek answered for all of them. He shrugged. “Our place is with the kingdom of God.”
Carl cleared his throat and looked around. “I don’t need to tell you that I am not sympathetic to your beliefs. We all know that. But I will say this. I don’t blame you for leaving. In fact, I believe it is the best thing for you to do. Brigham is right in saying that you are never going to have peace here.” He took a quick breath. “I am not a rich man, but I would like to buy Derek’s land from him.”
Derek jerked up, but no more swiftly than Melissa did. She was staring at her husband.
“And”—Carl was looking at Matthew now—“I would like to purchase the cabinet shop as well.” There was a quick, embarrassed smile. “I’ve always thought that having a brickyard and a cabinet shop in the same family might have some advantages.”
Melissa was dumbfounded. So were the rest of them.
“We don’t expect that, Carl,” Lydia finally said.
“You are going to need a lot of money to get everyone ready,” came the answer. “I don’t have a lot, enough for a down payment, maybe, but it will be enough to help you get outfitted. Then I will send the balance to wherever you end up. I will make sure you get a fair price.”
“You know I’ll also help with whatever it takes to get ready,” Joshua spoke up.
Nathan turned. “Joshua, you and Carl have always been willing to help the family, and that means a lot to us. But if we can just get a fair price for what we’ve got here, then we’ll be fine.”
“No, listen. If we go to St. Louis—” He looked at Caroline quickly, then away. “Or whatever we decide—I’ll be selling the freight business here. Before I do that, though, I’ll just give you whatever wagons and teams you need.”
“That would be a major head start for us,” Solomon said.
“What about your property in Ramus?” Matthew asked.
“It’s up for sale. I have a man representing my interests there. So far I’ve been offered two hundred dollars.”
“Two hundred dollars?” Carl cried. “That’s an outrage. With your house and the school and the land you’ve got, it’s worth three or four thousand if it’s worth a dime.”
“I hardly think this is a seller’s market,” Solomon remarked dryly and with no touch of bitterness. “I’ll wait a while, but two hundred may be the best I can get.”
The reality of that sobered them all. “Well,” Nathan said after a moment, “I guess that settles it. Except for Joshua and Caroline, we all know what choice we’ve made. For those of us who have decided to go, I’d like to suggest we continue this meeting and start laying out a plan on how to prepare.” He looked to Carl and Melissa, then to Joshua and Caroline. “You are welcome to stay if you’d like, but if you’d rather not, we’ll understand.”
Carl rose immediately. “I think we’ll get back to the children.” He pulled Melissa up.
Joshua rose too, but Caroline didn’t stir. “Do you mind if I stay and listen, Joshua?”
He frowned momentarily, then shook his head. “Not if you want.”
“I do.”
To her surprise, he sat back down again.
As Carl and Melissa said their good-byes and started for the door, Melissa stopped and gave Nathan a quick hug. “Thank you,” she whispered into his ear. “Thank you for not making us feel like we are awful for not coming with you.”
He put his arms around her and held her. They stood that way for several moments, brother and sister, knowing all that had been decided tonight and what it would mean for them. “We will miss you, Melissa,” he whispered back. “We’ll miss you something terrible.”
She nodded, her eyes wet again, then quickly turned and followed Carl out the door.
Joshua was currying a team of sorrel Belgians that had come in the previous night on a run from Springfield. With the recent rains the roads were rutted and muddy, and the horses showed it. It had been too late to do anything more than unharness them and give them each a bucket of grain, so this morning Joshua had come to the stable to clean them up. When his stable boys showed up and found their boss already there doing their work, they were greatly chagrined and tried to take over, but he waved them off and sent them out to do other things.
He finished the first horse, gave her an affectionate slap on the rump, and led her back to her stall. As he brought the second one out and tied her to the post, the door to the stable opened and a figure stepped inside. Joshua turned, expecting more of his help, but was surprised to see it was Nathan.
“Good morning.”
“Mornin’.” Joshua was standing there, currycomb in hand, watching his brother approach.
Nathan smiled. “You can close your mouth now, Joshua. Is it so shocking that I would come out to see you?”
“It’s pretty early,” Joshua said, recovering a little. He moved around the horse and began working on her neck. The animal lowered its head a little, her skin rippling with pleasure under the firm hand of her owner.
Nathan walked over to the bench, found a brush, and moved to the opposite side of the horse. His arm moved back and forth in long, methodical strokes now too. They worked together like that in silence for almost five minutes, smoothing the hair, brushing out the caked mud, untangling clods of dirt and cockleburs from the tail and mane.
By the time they reached the withers, Joshua could look directly at Nathan over the mare’s back. “So are you going to tell me, or are you going to make me guess? You’ve obviously got something on your mind.”
Nathan shrugged. “I didn’t sleep much last night.”
There was a soft hoot. “Couldn’t happen to a more deserving man.”
“Joshua, I’m not the cause of the problem. All I’m trying to do is to get us to start talking about this decision, face it so we can do something about it.”
Joshua stopped the steady stroking and looked at his brother. “I know that, Nathan. I guess I don’t like being made to face it.” A quick shadow passed across his face. “It doesn’t help.”
There was a slow nod, then Nathan went back to brushing the horse.
“At least Carl and Melissa have committed themselves,” Joshua said after a few moments.
“Yeah. That kind of surprised me. The last I talked to Carl he was still agonizing over what they were going to do.”
“No, not over what they were going to do, only about how to break it to the family. You gave him that opportunity and he took it.”
“Mother will be heartbroken,” Nathan noted softly. “And Papa too. Melissa has always had a special way with him.”
“I know, and thank heavens. She’s the one who kept Pa and me from going at each other more than once in those long-ago years.”
“Yes.” Now Nathan lowered the brush and looked at Joshua steadily. “And what are you and Caroline going to do, Joshua? How are you going to resolve this?”
Joshua shook his head brusquely. This was the very thing that had gotten him out of bed long before dawn and brought him to the stables to give him a chance to think. “I don’t know, Nathan. I truly don’t know.”