“But nothing,” Sister Lewis said firmly. “I won’t have you talkin’ like this. You said the Lord called you here. You said you knew that sure as anything. So, here is where you’re going to stay. As soon as you’re over this, you’ll feel better about it. You’ll see.”
Jessica just shook her head, closing her eyes. That squeezed the tears out and they started to trickle down the sides of her face. Mary Beth Lewis reached out and wiped them softly with her two thumbs. “You will, Jessie. I promise. Just try and sleep some more now.”
* * *
About an hour later, Jessica awoke. She had fallen into a deep sleep, and only gradually did she realize that someone was gently shaking her shoulder. She opened her eyes, aware that the chills were gone and she was being consumed with the fever again. Mary Beth stood directly above her, smiling down at her.
“Jessie?”
She tried to shake off the lethargy, come up out of the depths, but it was a struggle.
“Jessie, there’s someone here to see you.”
Jessica Roundy Steed had never been much concerned about personal appearance, but almost immediately her hand lifted up to touch her hair. It was matted and greasy. More than a week had gone by since she had been out of bed. “No, Mary Beth,” she started, her voice half a croak, but Mary Beth just smiled the wider and stepped back.
“Hello, Jessie.”
She turned, blinking against the light coming through the doorway. There was a large figure there, blocking some of it, but she couldn’t see any features. Nevertheless her heart leaped at the familiar voice. The figure stepped into the room, and another figure, not as broad but equally tall, took its place.
“Hello, Jessica.”
“Nathan?”
Suddenly they were at her side, both men kneeling at her bed, reaching out for her hands. She stared up at them, barely comprehending. “Benjamin?”
“Yes, Jessie.” Benjamin’s voice suddenly caught and he shook his head quickly. “We’re here, Jessie. We’re here.”
She was still too dazed to believe what her eyes were seeing. She reached up and touched Nathan’s face. “Is it really you?” she whispered.
He couldn’t answer, just nodded, swallowing hard twice, gripping her hand tightly.
Tears sprang to her eyes, and this time there was no effort to fight them back. For a long moment, they sat that way, none of them speaking, Jessica and Mary Beth crying freely, the two men struggling to get control of their emotions.
Finally, she pulled her hand back and brushed at the tears. “Rachel?”
“We saw her,” Benjamin said. He laughed huskily. “I’ll bet she’s grown a foot since you left.”
She nodded, then had to stifle another sob that rose in her throat. “I can’t believe it,” she cried. “I just can’t believe it.”
Benjamin stood slowly. “We brought someone else.”
She looked around. “Not Mary Ann?”
He shook his head. “We thought you might need a man around the house, someone to take care of you and Rachel.”
She was baffled. Then a third man stepped into the room. Rachel was at his side, holding his hand. “Hi, Jessica.”
She came up on one elbow, her head jutting forward. “Matthew, is that you?”
“Yep!” He stepped forward, grinning widely. “It’s me.” Then in a rush he was to the bed and putting his arms around her shoulders.
“I can’t believe it. I can’t believe it.” She just kept saying it over and over as she hugged Matthew tightly to her.
Nathan, smiling now too, swung his knapsack around. “We brought you some medicine.”
Her eyes turned to him, puzzled.
“Quinine. For the ague.”
Matthew stood, stepping back. Jessica was shaking her head. Now it was the men who looked bewildered.
She smiled, through the tears, through the weakness, through the fever. “You three are the only medicine I need,” she said softly.
* * *
Clinton Roundy reached under the counter and retrieved a bottle of whiskey, then turned for a glass from the shelf behind him.
Joshua held up one hand. “I’ll just have a beer tonight, Clint.”
Roundy set the bottle down slowly, eyeing Joshua curiously. Then he shrugged, got two mugs, and stepped to the large cask of beer mounted on a stand. He drew two full mugs, stood for a moment while the heads foamed over the sides of the glasses and onto the towel folded below the spigot, then turned his head. “Jack, watch the counter for me.” The man at the far end of the bar looked up and nodded. Roundy came back to Joshua. “Come on. There’s a table in the corner there.”
When they were seated, Roundy left his beer untouched and watched Joshua steadily as he downed half of his in three great gulps. Finally, Joshua set the drink down. “What?” he said.
Roundy considered that for a moment before he spoke. “I was beginning to think that this new wife of yours had told you not to have anything to do with me.”
Joshua’s eyes widened a little. “Caroline? Don’t be ridiculous. Why would she do that?”
“Because I’m Jessica’s father.”
He laughed shortly, without mirth. “Caroline’s not that way. She don’t brood on what’s been.”
“Then why you building her that fancy house south of town?”
“Because I want to,” Joshua snapped. “As if it’s your business.”
Roundy waved a hand. “All right, all right. Ain’t no need to get testy about it. I was just wonderin’.”
“I get testy when there’s things being said that aren’t true.”
Roundy backed down a little, but he was still smarting enough not to surrender completely. “Well, you been back near on three months now. I’ll bet I ain’t seen you more than two or three times in that whole time. We pass on the street and you nod politely and grunt and hurry on.” He took a quick sip of his beer. “I thought maybe you was gettin’ too good for old friends and former business partners anymore.”
Joshua picked up his beer again, watching his ex-father-in-law over the top of the glass. He drank, then wiped his mouth and beard with the back of his hand. The defensiveness was gone now. “It’s been real busy since I got back, Clint. Being gone for over three months really left the business here needin’ lots of attention. Then I’ve got this cotton deal goin’ in St. Louis. I’ve been down there twice, and once on to New Orleans to meet my cotton factor from Savannah.” He took another drink. “I don’t abandon old friends. And I consider you more than a former business partner. I consider you an old friend. That’s why I came in tonight.”
“Good.” Roundy was satisfied.
The brief tension was gone as they drank silently for several minutes. Then Roundy looked up. “What does the doctor say about the baby?”
Now Joshua positively beamed. “He says Caroline is a strong, healthy woman. He says the baby should be comin’ along about mid to late March.”
“That’s good, Joshua. I’m happy for you.” His eyes got a faraway look in them. “I’ve always wondered, had Jessica been able to carry a child earlier on, if things would have been different.”
Joshua instantly bristled. “Carryin’ a child or not carryin’ a child had nothin’ to do with what happened. When she went off and joined Joe Smith and his gang, that was it.” But almost immediately his jawline softened a little and his eyes became more thoughtful. “But you’re right. Not being able to have children those couple of years didn’t help none.”
Roundy nodded, a little wary now about saying the wrong thing and setting him off again.
“She’s four,” Joshua said softly. “Rachel is four now.”
“I know,” Roundy murmured. “I was wonderin’ about her the other day. Wonderin’ if her hair’s still as dark and curly as it was.”
“And those big blue eyes.”
Roundy took a drink of beer. “I ain’t the world’s greatest grandpa, but it would be nice to be able to see your only grandchild now and again.”
The steel was instantly back in Joshua’s eye. “That’s what galls me the most. That and knowing Jessica will turn her into a Mormon.”
Roundy changed the subject quickly. “Those other two young’uns, your wife’s—they’re a couple of fine children too. Cornwell says that boy is about as quick as anyone he’s ever taught.”
Mollified, Joshua smiled. “Yes. Will is a whip. Someday I’ll tell you about the first day I met him.” His eyes softened around the corners. “Hadn’t been for his spunkiness, I’d have never met Caroline.”
“And the girl,” Roundy went on, relieved to be back on safe ground, “she’s gonna end up lookin’ just like her mother. A real beauty.”
“Yes.”
The owner of Independence’s two most prosperous saloons finished his beer and set the mug down carefully. Without looking up, he spoke softly. “I wish things could’ve worked out between you and Jessica,” he said. “But it didn’t. And what’s done is done. I’m real happy for you now, Joshua. You’ve done yourself proud.”
“Thank you.” He watched the older man, his face devoid of any emotion. Finally, he pushed his beer aside and leaned back on his chair. “You ever hear from Jessica?” he asked casually. “I assume she’s still with my family in Ohio.”
That startled Roundy. “You mean you ain’t . . . ? That’s right. You were gone when she came back.”
The chair legs crashed back to the floor.
“Yes, she’s back. She wrote me a short letter when she arrived in Liberty.”
“She’s in Liberty? Just across the river?”
Roundy shook his head. “Not anymore. As you’ve probably heard, the Mormons are leavin’ Clay County. Headed north.”
“Good riddance,” Joshua spat. He was relieved. Liberty was much too close. “They think that moving up there is gonna solve their problems. Well, they’re wrong.”
Roundy felt a little irritation at his friend’s hardheadedness. “Let them go—long as they’re out of our hair.”
“They make trouble everywhere they go,” Joshua said bitterly. “I saw a bunch of them just outside of St. Louis. Saddest lookin’ bunch of misfits you ever saw. Moon-eyed and spouting scripture. I wanted to take out my pistol and fire it into the air. Spook them back to wherever they’re comin’ from.”
Roundy sighed, sorry that he had told Joshua about Jessica. He stood, collecting the mugs. “Appreciate you takin’ time to stop by, Joshua.”
Joshua looked up, a little surprised. He had been far away. “What?”
“I’ve got to get back to work. Thanks for stoppin’ by.”
Standing now, Joshua reached out. Roundy transferred the mugs to his other hand and took Joshua’s. “I didn’t mean to make you think there was feelin’s between us, Clint. I’ll do better now that winter’s comin’ on.”
“Good.”
Roundy tried to pull his hand free, but Joshua held on. His eyes were staring past him again. “Clint?”
“Yes?”
“You mark my words. We’re gonna have to do something about the Mormons.”
The tone in his voice gave Roundy a little chill. He didn’t answer.
“Until they’re driven clear out of the state of Missouri, there ain’t gonna be no rest for us. None.”
He dropped his hand, and Roundy stepped back quickly.
“You mark my words, Clint,” he muttered again. His eyes had narrowed, the pupils becoming darkened pinpoints against his face. “You mark my words.”
When Joshua arrived home, to his surprise Caroline was still up. She was propped up in the bed with the lantern still burning. Not that it was that late. It wasn’t even nine o’clock yet. But she was usually up early in the mornings, fighting the sickness in her stomach, and so she went to bed by eight o’clock, or eight-thirty at the latest.
“Hi,” he said as he took off his coat. “I thought you’d be asleep.”
“No, not tonight.” She smiled and reached down to her lap and retrieved something. She held it up, waving it slightly. He looked more closely. It was a brown envelope, letter size. He stopped, the coat half on one shoulder. “What’s that?”
“Mrs. Austin, down at the post office, she brought it by the house.”
He finished removing his coat, moving more slowly now.
“It must be from your family. In Ohio. It says Mrs. Benjamin Steed here on the envelope.” She held it out for him. He didn’t turn, just hung up his coat in the wardrobe.
Her voice registered a note of disappointment. “Is your father named Benjamin?”
He turned and began unbuttoning his shirt. “Yes.”
“So it
is
from your family.” She was puzzled now by his sudden coolness. “Do you want me to open it for you?”
In three strides he was across the room and snatched it from her. “No.”
“Joshua!” It was a cry of dismay.
He didn’t look at her. He lifted the envelope and tore it slowly and neatly in half, then in half again. He walked to the table where the lantern sat, dropped the shredded paper into the wastebasket that sat beside it, then reached out to the knob that controlled the wick. In a moment the room was plunged into darkness.
When he finished undressing, he climbed into bed and pulled the sheet up over his shoulders. He could feel her stiffness as he lay beside her. For three or four minutes, neither spoke. Then she stirred, half turning to face him.
“Joshua?” she began.
“Don’t, Caroline!” he said curtly. “Don’t even start it.”
For a moment she lay there, rigid, hurt, bewildered. He said nothing more. Finally, she turned over again, putting her back to him, increasing the distance between them.
For a long time after her breathing gradually softened and became deep and steady, Joshua stared up at the ceiling in the darkness. Alternately he cursed fate for bringing this back into his life again; he cursed his ex-wife, who had come back to Missouri and who wouldn’t let the past lie dead; and most of all, he cursed himself for continually letting his emotions slam down a wall between him and this woman whom he had come to love more than he thought it was possible for him to love anyone.
Chapter Fourteen
Even though Nathan and Benjamin were still away in Missouri, Mary Ann invited Lydia and her children and Melissa and Carl and their children for Sunday dinner as was the tradition. This Sunday, to everyone’s surprise, including Melissa’s, Carl had not insisted they leave immediately after the meal was finished. Rebecca had taken the children upstairs to read them a story. Caleb John Rogers, Melissa and Carl’s newborn son, not quite a month old, was asleep in a bassinet in the next room. As usual, Mary Ann brought out the pie, and they sat around the table talking.