“Twice the Lord told me no when I inquired if Martin could take the manuscript. Martin was heartbroken. He begged me, telling me how his wife and friends were making his life most miserable.”
Joseph began to draw figure eights in the dirt in front of him, using the edge of the stick as a point. “You must remember, Nathan, Martin has been one of the few friends and supporters I have had through all this. You can’t imagine what that has meant to me. He believed me. He even gave Emma and me fifty dollars to help us make the trip to Harmony.” He sighed. “Maybe that was what set Mrs. Harris off. She became very hateful when I refused to show her the plates.”
He fell silent for a time, the memories weighing heavily upon him. “Well, with Martin pressing me, I finally went to the Lord one more time.” The stick had come up in both hands again. Suddenly, Joseph snapped it in two and flung the one half away. “Oh, why didn’t I listen? Why did I insist on tempting the Lord God by not accepting his first answer?”
“But Joseph,” Nathan protested, “how could you have known? Martin told my father he promised most solemnly not to show them to anyone except a selected few, and he admitted he had already broken that promise.”
Joseph shook his head stubbornly. “No, the angel warned me wicked men would try to stop the work. I should have listened.”
Nathan didn’t know what to say. Joseph refused to be comforted and he was not about to shift the blame to Martin Harris to relieve his guilt.
“I should have gone after him immediately,” Joseph continued, not looking up. “But shortly after Martin left, Emma went into labor.” His voice caught and he quickly turned his head. “The baby was born shortly afterwards.”
“Oh,” Nathan said, brightening. “That’s right. What did you have?”
“A boy.” It was said so softly that Nathan barely heard.
“Wonderful. What have you named him?”
If there was anguish before, now it was open pain that Nathan saw when Joseph turned back to him. “We called him Alvin.” He stopped, took a quick breath, let it out slowly. “He died a few hours after he was born.”
Nathan’s face dropped. “Oh no, Joseph, I hadn’t heard that. I’m so sorry.”
He smiled a brief, wan smile of thanks, then let out his breath slowly. “Emma nearly died too. She was emotionally and physically shattered. For a time I had to nurse her day and night. I had no time to worry about the manuscript or Martin or what he was doing. But finally, when Emma began to recover, I started to worry. There had been no word from Martin in almost three weeks. That’s when I decided I had to come back.”
He let the pain and weariness all come out in his voice. “When Martin told me he had searched everywhere and could not find the manuscript, I was sure I had lost my soul.”
For several moments they sat there, Joseph lost in his sorrow, Nathan wanting desperately to comfort him but not knowing what to say.
“Maybe you could offer a reward.” It seemed foolish the moment he said it, and he wasn’t surprised when Joseph shook his head.
He tried again. “But the manuscript is of no real value. It’s not like they have the gold plates. I know it’s a lot of work, but can’t you just translate them again?”
Joseph turned. The dappling of light through the leaves played across his face, highlighting the features as Nathan watched. His eyes, which characteristically caught and held anyone with whom he spoke, were now downcast. The lips, normally so quick to turn up in an engaging smile, were now pressed tightly together. The pain that lined Joseph’s face was like a sudden shadow moving across the sun. “I fear I have lost my place as the one to do the work.”
Nathan shot upright. “No, Joseph! It was not your fault.”
“It
was
my fault! I should have listened. What can I say to Moroni? He trusted the work to my keeping.”
Rocked deeply, Nathan sat back. “You must continue, Joseph.”
Joseph stood slowly, as though pulling up a heavy weight with him. “I leave to return to Harmony in the morning. There I shall humble myself in mighty prayer, and beseech the Lord for his forgiveness. But I do not know, Nathan. I just do not know.”
“I can’t believe the Lord has called you to this work to put you aside now.”
For the first time, Joseph forced a hopeful smile. “I hope you’re right. And I so need to hear you say that.”
“I know it is true,” Nathan said, realizing with abruptness that he really did feel that way. “All is not lost.”
“Perhaps not. I have learned my lesson, Nathan. A great lesson. I will never forget it. From now on I will trust only in the Lord’s counsel.”
A voice echoed softly across the fields behind them. Joseph turned. Again the sound came. “Joseph!”
“It’s Mother,” Joseph said. “I’d better go.” He stuck out his hand. “Thank you for coming, Nathan. I needed someone to talk to. Someone to tell me there is still hope.”
Nathan shrugged, embarrassed by the emotion in Joseph’s voice. “Mother sends her greetings. She is most anxious to hear about the work.”
“I shall write to you both as soon as I know anything.”
Nathan grabbed his arm. “You shall not have to. I have hired on with Mr. Joseph Knight of Colesville.”
Joseph stopped dead, staring. “Do you speak truly?” he cried.
“Yes. I’ll be coming to Colesville at the end of the harvest.”
“But Harmony is just twenty-five miles from Colesville. Will you come and see us, Nathan?”
“I shall, work permitting.”
“That’s wonderful news, Nathan. Mr. Knight is a fine gentleman. He has already been most helpful to Emma and me.” He suddenly sobered. “And what does this do to your courtship with Lydia McBride?”
Now it was Nathan who sighed. “I will be telling her tonight. How can we marry until I can make my own way in the world? But I don’t know how she will take it. She hasn’t even agreed to marry me as yet.”
“Trust the Lord, Nathan,” Joseph said. “All will work out for the good.”
They started walking toward the house. Suddenly, Joseph put his arm around Nathan’s shoulder and pulled him up against him, shoulder to shoulder. “You coming to Colesville. I can’t believe it. Emma will also be pleased.” He was grinning widely now. This was more like the old Joseph whom Nathan knew.
Nathan smiled back. “I am excited. And I will be most anxious to hear how the work is progressing, Joseph.”
He instantly sobered again. “I hope it does progress, Nathan.”
Nathan nodded. “It will. I know it will.”
“Lydia, Nathan’s here.”
“Thank you, Papa, I’ll be down in a moment.” She turned back to the mirror, conscious of the excitement which had started her pulse quickening. But she also felt a sudden dread. Would Nathan understand? Could she make him see without hurting him too deeply? Since earlier that morning when her mother had sat her down and showed her the letter, Lydia had thought of little else. She had taken the afternoon and gone south of town to spend some time with her aunt. They had discussed every aspect of the question, explored every implication of deciding one way or the other. Aunt Bea’s quiet gentleness had helped Lydia come to a decision, even though it would not be an easy one. She now knew where her heart was, but would Nathan understand?
She picked up the brush and pulled twice more through the rich darkness of her hair. It shone with luster in the light of the lamp above her, and with characteristic honesty she admitted to herself she was really very pretty tonight. She also admitted that tonight of all nights she wanted to be so, very much wanted to be so. Picking out a thin scarlet ribbon, she pulled her hair back away from her face and tied it there. Though he had never said so, she knew this was Nathan’s favorite way for her to wear her hair.
A quick dab of cologne, one last turn in front of the glass to see that all was in perfect order, a quick silent prayer for help in finding the right words, and she started for the stairs.
Nathan was dressed in his best clothes. He rose immediately, watching her as she entered the room. The look in his eyes was all the compliment she needed. She ducked her head a little and smiled at him. “Hello, Nathan.”
“Hello, Lydia.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t home earlier.”
“No reason you should have been,” he replied. “As I told your mother, I had to come into the village early and just thought I’d see if you were home.”
“Come sit over here, Lydia,” her mother said, patting the place on the divan next to her.
“Now, Hannah,” her father chided, reaching out to touch his wife’s arm. “It’s such a beautiful evening outside, why don’t we let these young people go for a walk and be by themselves?”
Hannah McBride shot her husband a withering look which he fielded blandly. Lydia repressed a smile. Her mother knew she had scored a virtual triumph today. She wanted to watch Nathan’s face when he heard the news. But Lydia was also grateful to her father for his understanding. Telling Nathan was going to be hard enough without having her mother hovering over them.
She looked up at Nathan. “Is that all right with you?”
“That’s fine.” This time Lydia nearly laughed outright. The look of relief on his face was so evident as to be almost comical.
Lydia got a white crocheted shawl from the wardrobe which sat in the hallway, and Nathan put it across her shoulders. As he opened the door, Lydia waved to her mother, then went up on tiptoes to kiss her father’s cheek. “Thank you, Papa,” she whispered.
He gave her hand a quick squeeze. “You two have a pleasant evening.”
They stopped for a moment on the front step and Lydia slipped her arm through Nathan’s and giggled softly. “For a moment I thought you were going to close your eyes and offer a prayer of thanks when Papa suggested we go for a walk.”
Nathan grimaced. “Was I that obvious?”
She laughed again. “Let’s just hope Mama can’t read your face as well as I can.”
Nathan’s expression was rueful. “Do you think she’ll ever consider me an acceptable suitor for you?”
“Mama has big dreams, but she likes you.”
Nathan hooted.
“Well,” Lydia said, laying her head against his shoulder, “at least she’s getting used to the idea of you.”
“Where would you like to walk?”
“Let’s go up Vienna Street, past the cemetery. That’s my favorite part of town.”
They walked leisurely up the street, nodding to those they passed, stopping once to chat briefly with some of Lydia’s friends. Mostly they both seemed content to retreat into their own thoughts. That surprised Lydia a little. Nathan was even more reticent than usual, almost pensive. Did he somehow sense what was coming?
“Do you mind if we walk through the cemetery?”
“Of course not.”
Her friends thought it a little ghoulish that Lydia loved to be in Palmyra’s cemetery, but it was one of her favorite spots. It was as though sounds could not penetrate past the wooden gate. The grass was a rich green, and though deep, it was neatly clipped. The numerous trees subdued the last rays of the sun, turning the area into soft patterns of light and shadow.
They passed the cottage of the sexton and waved to the children who played in front, then continued around a small hillock at the center of the cemetery to a spot where they were alone. Nathan stopped and turned to her, then bent down and kissed her softly. She went up on tiptoe, one hand coming up to touch his cheek, as she returned it fully.
“I missed you.”
She smiled. “It’s only been a week.”
“I miss you every day.”
“I know.” She reached up and kissed him again.
He took her by the hand and led her to a spot beneath a spreading beech tree. He smoothed a place on the grass. “Can we sit for a while? I…we need to talk.”
Surprised, Lydia nodded and sat down. Nathan sat so he was facing her. He fidgeted a little, trying to get comfortable, his eyes not quite meeting hers. When he finally looked up at her, she felt a sudden wrench in her heart. Could she really go through with this?
He cleared his throat, then coughed. One hand came up and his fingers began to fiddle at the buttons on his jacket.
“What is it, Nathan?”
He reached out and clasped her hand. “You know I love you, Lydia McBride.”
Her eyes softened. “Yes, Nathan Steed. I do. And I can think of nothing that gives me more happiness.”
“I…”
She watched, her heart warming to him. Oh, how she loved this gentle, good man!
He straightened, making up his mind to postpone it no longer. “I want to marry you, Lydia.”
She squeezed his hand, her voice suddenly husky. “And I you, Nathan.”
“But—”
She felt a sudden clutch. His eyes had dropped again and now she feared he would pull the button right off his coat. “But what, Nathan?”
He shook his head. “A man needs to be responsible if he’s goin’ to be startin’ up his own family.”
And then it all came out in a rush—the fact his father’s farm wasn’t big enough for two families, the Carlson farm coming up for sale, his conversation with his father, the offer from Joseph Knight in Colesville. Lydia sat back, nodding soberly at the appropriate time, murmuring an assent when required, but all the time feeling an immense sense of relief coursing through her.
Finally, he was finished. “It will mean I’ll have to be gone for several months.”
“But you’re not trying to get out of marrying me?” she teased.
He blinked. “Of course not. It’s just that—”
She clapped her hands. “This is wonderful news, Nathan.”
“It is?” His bewilderment was delightful and she quickly moved over to sit next to him, pulling his arm up and around her.
“Nathan, I have something to tell you too. I’ve been worrying about it all day long. Now you have just solved my problem.”
“I have?”
“Mother got a letter from my aunt today.”
“Your Aunt Bea?”
“No. This is my father’s sister. She lives in Boston. Her daughter is my favorite cousin. We were just like sisters until our family moved to New York.”
He nodded, still puzzled.
“You know how my mother has been trying to ship me off to finishing school in New York City?”
Nathan’s mouth tightened. “Yes, I think I also know why she wants to do it, too.”