"What is this, Dalmar, an inquisition?
"
"I
'
m just curious. Please don
'
t be angry. Are you saying
that you
'
ve adopted the boy?
"
"I
'
m Richard
'
s guardian. Edgar sent Richard home to me when the boy
'
s mother died. I don
'
t see what this has to say to anything.
"
"Don
'
t you?
"
There was humor in his voice, but also a deep well of some emotion which melted Annabelle
'
s incipient annoyance. With one hand she shaded her eyes against the light and peered up at him.
"You
'
re a very generous woman, Mrs. Jocelyn,
"
he said. "Not many wives would do as much as you
'
ve done.
"
She was tempted to leave him with his illusions. Something in her nature, however, caviled at this unmerited encomium. She sighed. "No, I
'
m not generous,
"
she confessed. "I wanted children more than anything. It was impossible. Edgar was not here. I
'
ll admit I was shocked, hurt—oh, you know what I mean—when I first heard about Richard. What wife wouldn
'
t be? But it all worked out for the best. Oh dear, I didn
'
t mean that the way
it sounded. What I mean is…
"
"Yes, I know what you mean.
"
With one finger under her chin, he tipped her head back and held her eyes with his. "Nevertheless, you
'
re afraid to take a chance on another man.
"
Giving him back stare for stare, she asked coolly, "What makes you say so?
"
He let her go. Placing one foot on the bench, and bracing one arm against his knee, he leaned toward her. "It
'
s as clear as the nose on your face,
"
he told her, his eyes brimming with laughter. "Consider! As a child you were attacked by a dog, ergo no more dogs. When you were learning to ride, you were thrown by a horse, ergo no more horses. As a woman, you were hurt by a man, ergo no more men. Annabelle Jocelyn, appearances to the contrary, you are a coward!
"
Her eyes widened, and she blinked rapidly, as if to dispel something from her lashes. "Coward?
"
she repeated. It was a novel idea and one that she had never before entertained. "Oh no,
"
she said, "you must be mistaken. It
'
s only that I know my strengths and weaknesses. I never take up anything I can
'
t excel in.
"
"Coward!
"
he reiterated, his eyes compelling. "I wonder what more in life you will give up because the specter of failure terrifies you?
"
She glanced at the knitting in her lap and could not help grinning. "I don
'
t believe in attempting the impossible,
"
she said demurely.
He laughed. "Don
'
t despair. You
'
ll soon be attempting any number of things you once thought were beyond you.
"
"What is that supposed to mean?
"
Her wariness returned in full force.
"It means, my love, that by the time I
'
ve finished with you,
your life is going to be filled with dogs and horses, figuratively speaking, yes, and literally too.
"
"And men?
"
she asked coyly, her small teeth bared.
His eyes held hers for a long moment. "Only one,
"
he said softly. "Yours truly, to be precise. And it follows, naturally, a houseful of babies.
"
Her jaw dropped. She said the first thing that came into her head. "I
'
ll have you know that my father is a vicar.
"
A look of surprise crossed his face, but his only comment was, "So?
"
"So,
"
she expostulated, "so you must see that I could never become your mistress.
"
"Oh that!
"
he said with a dismissive gesture. "You
'
re harking back to the Palais Royal. What else could I offer when I thought you already married and estranged from your husband?
"
Shocked, she asked,
''
Are
you offering marriage?
"
"Yes,
"
he replied.
She stared at him blindly. Again without thinking, she said, "You would turn my life upside down.
"
"No more than you would mine,
"
he answered, his smile widening.
"But why? We scarcely know each other. You don
'
t love me. I don
'
t understand.
"
"Annabelle, I know you as intimately as a man can know a woman. We
'
re lovers, for God
'
s sake. I
'
m thirty-four years old. I
'
ve spent the last seventeen years with the army in foreign parts. As I once told you, I don
'
t regard myself as a professional soldier. I know there
'
s more to life than sleeping under hedgerows, forced marches, and cavalry charges. I
'
m ready for a different kind of life, and I want it all.
"
"What exac
tly do you want?
"
she asked, eyeing him curiously.
"The usual. A home, a wife, children—a personal stake in the future, and someone to share it with. Is that so hard to understand?
"
It wasn
'
t, of course. Hadn
'
t she experienced the same kind of longing when she was younger? But that was eons ago. She was not the girl she once was. Still, something in his tone or his
words or his serious expression touched her deeply. In some sense he seemed to be a rather lonely man, which surprised her. She could not imagine what it must be like to be a soldier for so many years and away from one
'
s home and everything one held dear.
"What about your parents?
"
she asked. "You must have been just a boy when you joined the army. Didn
'
t they object, or try to force you to sell out and return home?
"
In a voice which warned her that she was trespassing, he said, "My father was dead. My mother had remarried. When she died, there was nothing to come home to.
"
"Oh,
"
she said, and did not know what else to say. She lowered her eyelashes to screen her expression. A pair of impeccable hessians came into view.
Above her head she heard him say, "Annabelle, we could make a good life together. Just give me a chance and I
'
ll prove it to you.
"
She was possessed of the strongest urge to give in to him. A moment
'
s reflection was enough to steady her. Marriage was not one of the things at which she had excelled.
"Truly,
"
she said, smiling up at him. "I don
'
t wonder at your ambition. But I
'
m not the woman you should be talking to. I already have everything I want. There
'
s nothing I would gain by marriage, and much that I might lose.
"
"What, for instance?
"
"My property, for a start.
"
"You mean Bailey
'
s, of course. Annabelle, there are ways and means of tying up a wife
'
s property so that a husband can
'
t get his hands on it. You could settle it on your son, for that matter.
"
"I
'
m aware of it. But even if I did, if I married, what
'
s to stop my husband from managing my property to suit himself? He could do it, if he had a mind to, and there
'
s not a blessed thing I could do about it. The law recognizes that as a single woman I have some intelligence to manage my own affairs. If I were to marry, the law suddenly decrees that I
'
m an imbecile and subject to the law of my husband.
"
"And if I swore to you that I would not, under any circumstances in my role as husband, make any attempt to
meddle in your business?
"
"Would you go so far?
"
"You have my word on it. However, I would expect a reciprocal promise on your part.
"
"What does that mean?
"
His gray eyes moved from her bemused expression and gazed steadfastly away into t
he middle distance. "Supposing—
theoretically speaking, you understand—that our business interests should come into conflict?
"
"You mean, if we were to become competitors?
"
she interjected, amused.
"Something like that, or adversaries. Would you be prepared to offer me the same terms?
"
"I don
'
t think I understand.
"
"If we were competitors in business, would you expect me to suppress my own best interests simply by virtue of the fact that we were friends, or whatever?
"
Enlightenment gradually dawned. It was Murray, the publisher, who had brought Dalmar to her party. It seemed obvious that the Earl had holdings in some publishing house or other. She laughed. "Dalmar, you don
'
t know me very well. Competition is the spice of life. I thrive on it. You can try to best me at my own game, but I give you fair warning, in business, I always go for the jugular.
"
He finally looked at her. "In other words,
"
he said, smiling, "do my worst?
"
She shrugged. "If you get in my way, I
'
ll mow you down.
"
"And I
'
m free to do the same to you?
"
"You can try,
"
she scoffed.
"And it won
'
t make a jot of difference to our friendship?
"
he persisted. "Can I have your word on it?
"
"Good grief
!"
she exclaimed, "of course! What do you take me for? I
'
m not some silly, frivolous creature who breaks down in tears or has a fit of the vapors when things go against her. It
'
s a man
'
s world out there. I meet my business competitors on their terms. It
'
s not only men who know how to take a spill and come up smiling. I
'
m not at outs with Murray or Longmans or a single one of my competitors, and yet
we
'
ve
tried to put each other to the wall on more occasions than I
care to remember.
"
She paused for breath, and he interjected, "Careful, Annabelle. I may hold you to those words one of these days.
"
"Do,
"
she rashly declared.
"It will never come to that, I hope,
"
he instantly responded.
Her brow furrowed in thought as she took in his bland expression. "Have you bought into one of the houses, Dalmar?
"
Strange, she thought, that there had not been a whisper of anything coming on the market. Her mind did a quick inventory and came up with a blank.
"You
'
re going too fast, Annabelle. We were talking in hypothetical terms, remember? The gist of what I am trying to say is this—our business and personal lives are to remain separate. What transpires in the one sphere is not to be transferred to the other. I gave you my word on it, and you gave me yours.
"
"Did I?
"
she murmured, suddenly uneasy. The thought occurred to her that Dalmar looked surprisingly like a replete jungle cat who had just risen from the table. She brushed away the absurd notion. She had done no more than promise to conduct herself as she habitually did. Even members of Parliament on opposite sides of the House were known to attack each other ferociously during debate and fraternize before and after in the lobby of the House of Commons. There was nothing personal in such rivalry. Then why, she asked herself, did she feel as if her hands had just been tied?