The Wrong Lawyer (5 page)

Jim Corbett put on
a lightweight grey suit as he steeled himself for the upcoming ordeal.

In a few minutes
he would leave to pick up Lynne and drive downtown to take in a play at one of
the local theatres. Jim hadn’t even asked Lynne whether it was a comedy or a
drama. Instead he had gushed enthusiasm as if he were himself an actor and was
thrilled to have the opportunity to watch fellow thespians in action.

It was untenable
at this stage of their budding relationship to decline Lynne’s invitation to
join her this evening to view the latest theatre production masterpiece even
though Jim couldn’t think of anything less enjoyable than mingling with the
pretentious artsy crowd while they discussed some dreadful amateur stage
performance.

With any luck the
theatre would be dark enough so that Jim could close his eyes while waiting for
the torture to end.

When Lynne buzzed
him up to her apartment, however, she looked so stunning in her little black
dress that Jim would have been happy to sit on a bed of nails during the entire
play.

“Lynne, you look
absolutely incredible! I’ll be the envy of every man in the theatre.”

“Why thank you, Mr.
Corbett, and you look extremely distinguished yourself. Would you mind terribly
dropping in to see my parents for a moment? I’d like to introduce you to them.”

“That would be delightful,
Lynne.”

Jim wasn’t kidding
about that since he was most curious to see what kind of people would despise
Kennedy at first glance. Generally everybody liked Tom.

Jim held the door
of his Cadillac XTS open for Lynne and they drove the hundred feet directly
across the road and parked in the parents’ driveway.

Lionel and Bernice
were completely cordial and pleasant to Jim and seemed genuinely pleased that
their daughter was being escorted to the play.

Due to time
restraints, he and Lynne couldn’t stay for coffee and said goodnight to the
parents a few minutes after arriving.

On the drive to
the playhouse, Jim remarked, “Your parents didn’t seem to mind you dating a
lawyer. Tom said that they were extremely cold and disapproving to him when he
met them yesterday.”

“Linda and I are
in completely different circumstances right now. My folks are adamant that
Linda should wait at least a year before dating whereas they’re anxious for me
to settle down with someone.”

“That’ll make it
tough for your sister since she’s living there with them.”

“I’m sure that
Linda will find her own place quite soon. She’ll have the sale money from her
Ottawa home in her bank this Friday so there won’t be anything holding her back
from buying something here in Kingston.”

Jim could hardly
keep his eyes off Lynne. She looked so utterly ravishing.

Despite his
infatuation, it took every ounce of his willpower to make it through the
evening.

Lynne was clearly
a theatre junkie and introduced Jim to countless fellow fanatics, every single
one of whom seemed to be pompous and phony.

Several of his new
“friends” had sophisticated British accents but when he asked Lynne if they
were from England, she replied, “Not a single one of them has ever lived in the
United Kingdom. I’m afraid that all of those accents were affected.”

“I suspected as
much,” Jim answered. “I’ve done legal work for a couple of them and they didn’t
speak that way when they were in my office.”

Finally the
tedious play ended but before he and Lynne made it out to the car, they were
accosted by another couple who suggested that the four of them grab a drink at
the theatre bar.

Lynne seemed
thrilled with the prospect and whispered to Jim that, “Alvin is both the
producer and director of the play we just saw. It’s a real honor to be invited
to join him for a drink. Dating a well-known lawyer certainly has its
advantages.”

Alvin may have
been a big shot in the local theatre world but he turned out to be a colossal
bore.

Jim painted his
face with a phony smile and kept it there as often as he could manage.

Other theatre
goers regularly approached the table to congratulate Alvin on his latest
masterpiece and Jim could see that Lynne was in her element as she was
introduced to so many of these prestigious patrons of the arts. Jim recognized
several of them from their participation in various lawsuits over the years,
and the highlight of this portion of the evening was their reaction when they
realized who he was. Everyone remembers vividly the name of the opposing lawyer
who had ravaged them on the witness stand in some losing courtroom fight.

It was obvious to
Jim that Alvin didn’t have two cents of his own to rub together, but that
didn’t prevent the fellow from playing the role of the wealthy aristocrat.

At midnight the
server advised their table that the bar was closing.

When Jim insisted
on picking up the tab for the drinks and nibbles, he noticed an immense sense
of relief on Alvin’s face.

Lynne was beside
herself with excitement. For her, this stint in the theatre bar had been her
first hint of acceptance by Kingston high society.

“What a fantastic
evening, Jim! I’ve been attending plays regularly ever since I moved to
Kingston, and this was my first brush with the inner circle of the theatrical
crowd. I don’t want the night to end yet. Can I entice you to come up to my
place for a coffee?”

“Of course, Lynne;
that would be lovely. I’m so pleased that you enjoyed yourself.”

“You knew loads
more people there than I did. Do you go to a lot of plays?”

“No, this is the
first one I’ve attended in years. Most of the patrons who seemed to know me
were actually people I had sued at some point in the past. That’s why they
remembered me.”

“They all treated
you with the utmost respect,” Lynne replied.

“All that means is
that they’re good actors themselves. I’m sure they all despised me as soon as
it dawned on them where they had heard my name before, but they were too wary
to let any animosity show through their forced smiles. Most people are scared
shitless of lawyers.”

Lynne made Baileys
coffees and they sat together on the sofa and talked and talked.

When Lynne
suggested a second spiked coffee, Jim answered, “That’s so tempting Lynne, but
I’d better not since I have to drive home.”

“Then why don’t
you stay over?” she replied coquettishly.

Jim smiled.

“What a
delightfully naughty idea? I’d love to.”

As Lynne brought
the fresh drinks out from the kitchen, Jim was mesmerized by her luscious lips
as they moved suggestively while Lynne spoke and smiled.

A few minutes
later Jim was tasting those beautiful lips and not long thereafter was feasting
on the entire banquet.

I didn’t hear from
Corbett until Saturday morning when he woke me at eight o’clock and suggested
that we go out for breakfast.

We went to Molly’s
Diner again but this time Corbett drove his Cadillac Escalade and parked in
such a way as to take up two spaces. That was his way of preventing unwanted
dents on his precious vehicle.

“What have you
been up to this week?” I asked innocently. “Did you take Lynne out for dinner
on Tuesday?”

“I’ve spent the
entire week with her,” Corbett smirked. “I’m totally smitten. She could be the
one.”

“Wow, that’s
great! What sort of things did you do?”

“On Monday night
we went to that play I had mentioned.”

“You loathe plays.
Was this one okay?”

“I hated it but
Lynne adored it. I took her to that new Indian restaurant behind the courthouse
on Tuesday and it was very nice there. You should consider taking Linda there
tonight.”

“I might do that.
I love Indian food and I’ll ask Linda if she likes it too.”

“On Wednesday
evening Lynne cooked dinner at her place and then I reciprocated on Thursday
night.”

“You actually
cooked a meal?” I asked dubiously.

“Of course, and it
turned out beautifully. Last night we attended another play. I guess I’ll have
to develop a taste for theatre because Lynne almost worships that sort of
thing.”

“I’m really
pleased to hear that the two of you have hit it off so well, Jim. Have you met
the parents?”

“Yes, and they’re
just fine with me. Lynne said they disapproved of you solely because they think
it’s too early for Linda to date.”

“I hope they’ll
change their minds. Linda is great company.”

Probably because
we had women on the brain, Corbett and I didn’t trade a single insult during or
after breakfast.

When I got back to
my condo, the phone was ringing. It was Linda calling from her cell phone.

“Can I come over
and talk with you, Tom? I’m sitting in my car just down the street from your
place.”

“Sure, Linda, I
just got back from breakfast with Corbett. I’ll buzz you up.”

A couple of
minutes later Linda was at door but looked quite distressed.

“You look like
you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders, Linda. Is anything
wrong?”

“My life just got
horribly complicated and I needed someone to talk to about it.”

“Let’s sit on the
couch,” I suggested as I led her to the settee and held her hand after we had
sat down. “Okay, Linda, tell me what monkey wrench got thrown into your life.
Did your house sale not close?”

“No, it finally
closed very late yesterday afternoon and the money is now sitting safely in my
bank. It’s Jeremy. His girlfriend threw him out of their apartment last weekend
and I found him living back in my house when I arrived in Ottawa on Monday. He
was very difficult and refused to leave the house unless I let him come live
here with my parents and me. I had hoped that Jeremy would patch things up with
Becky and move back in with her, but that didn’t happen so he came back to
Kingston with me last night.”

“What do Lionel
and Bernice think of this new arrangement?” I asked.

“They detest it
but I’ve promised to find my own place right away.”

“Will you let
Jeremy live with you?”

“I hate that
idea,” Linda spat out. “He’ll be thirty years old in a few months and Jeremy
can be quite abusive with me when he’s in a bad mood.”

“Have you
considered setting him up in a cheap apartment somewhere?”

“I may have to
even though I’m not sure if I can really afford to have him dependent on me
again.”

“You said that
Jeremy worked at a call center in Ottawa.”

“He got the sack a
month ago but never told me. That’s one of the reasons Becky kicked him out.
Without his income, she couldn’t afford to pay the rent and buy drugs for both
of them.”

“Will Jeremy be
able to collect unemployment?”

“Apparently my son
got the boot for cause. I phoned Becky in an attempt to get them back together
and she told me the whole story. Jeremy has a habit of lying to avoid
criticism. Becky said that he stole some cash from the purses of some of his
fellow workers and the boss caught him in the act. They didn’t lay charges
since all the cash was recovered, but there’s no chance of Jeremy getting that
job back or any letter of reference. To make matters worse, Jeremy hasn’t
worked enough hours in the past year to quality for unemployment insurance. It
seems that I’ll be his sole source of income for the time being.”

“I’m so sorry to
hear all this, Linda.”

“Oh, Tom, that’s
not even the worst of the mess I find myself in right now.”

“Really! What can
be worse than funding an unwelcome house guest?”

Linda began to
cry.

I put my arms
around her to comfort her until Linda composed herself.

She eased herself
away, stood up and then began pacing back and forth in front of me.

I was most curious
to learn what other terrible news had befallen her. Having an adult brat
barging in to leech off his mother seemed about as bad as anything could get.

“Tom, I’m getting
dreadful pressure from my parents and now also from Jeremy not to go out with
you again. They’ve made me feel terribly guilty and slutty for seeing you last
weekend. It’s intolerable to live with them under those circumstances but it’s
going to take me a while to find a suitable place to rent or buy, so I have to
stay with my parents for the time being, especially now that Jeremy had thrust
himself onto the scene. I feel so badly telling you this because I really like
you but I have to cancel our date tonight.”

A feeling of
deflation engulfed me.

Kissing Linda last
Sunday had revived long dormant feelings of passion and I had been fantasizing not
just about making love to her but also about developing a permanent
relationship.

Now my new-found
romance was being jerked away like some carrot on a string.

I recalled
previous situations from years ago in which I had acted childishly or rudely
when a girl dumped me. My self-disgust at my inappropriate reactions back then
prompted me to behave myself this time around. Wisdom does sometimes come with
age.

I decided to toss
a bit of humor into the situation.

“I understand
completely, Linda. Please don’t beat yourself up about it. I really like your
company too. When your distressing family circumstances eventually get worked
out, we can have a belated celebration. Being retired for a year is pretty
meaningless when you think about it and not worthy of a celebration.”

“I’m so relieved
that you’re so understanding, Tom. I feel like a right witch.”

“Don’t worry about
it, Linda. I’m sure I can get at least a partial refund of the large deposit I
put down with the wedding planner.”

That remark did
the trick and Linda burst out laughing.

“You’re so
extraordinarily nice, Tom. Please don’t give up on me. I’m determined to get my
family affairs sorted out quickly.”

I stood up and
walked with Linda to the apartment door.

Before I had a
chance to pull the door open, Linda put her arms around my neck and said,
“Happy one-year retirement anniversary, Tom.”

Then she kissed me
passionately.

When she finally pulled
away, Linda whispered breathlessly in my ear, “I hope my naughty little gesture
will help you remember that we have some delicious unfinished business to
anticipate.”

She smiled
teasingly and then Linda was gone.