The XOXO New Adult Collection: 16 Full Length New Adult Stories (151 page)

I love you, Francesca.

Cade

L
ess than three weeks stood between me and my outpatient status. I would have to come here every day, to meet with counselors and have group meetings, but I would be able to go home after. I’d be able to see Francesca. The thought overwhelmed me with happiness.

Reid sat in front of me, talking about some girl he was after. I was zoned out, not even trying to listen, when he clapped his hands loudly in front of my face, making me jump.

“What the—“ I started.

“I’m trying to tell you something. Your girl was in the newspaper. She’s having a big grand opening party the day after you get out of here,” he snapped out quickly.

“A party?”

“Yes, and I’m sure there will be alcohol, but I have an idea for you...I think you should surprise her. Every time she texts me wanting to know about you, she talks about how she wishes you could be there when her business launches,” he explained.

“Does she text you a lot?” I questioned, fighting the raging jealousy growing in my chest.

He gave me an incredulous look and said, “It’s not like that. She’s as gaga for you as you are for her. She talks about
you
when she texts. Anyways, you have to stay with someone for the first three months you’re in outpatient, and I nominate me. I have a room that’s free, and I plan to hide you there until you can show up at her launch party.”

“Sorry, man, I didn’t mean it like that. I just miss her,” I sighed. “I’ll stay with you. It beats trying to be civil with Pops,” I laughed.

He shook his head, letting me know he didn’t want to get into that story again, and handed me a folded up paper. “Francesca ran out of stamps, so she sent it with me.” He walked out, shutting the door softly behind him before I could speak.

Unfolding the paper, I slid into the chair at the desk, smoothing the sheet on the wood and reading her words to myself.

Cade,

I’m meeting Reid for lunch today. I have to see him tell me that you truly are so much better. I know you’ve had a problem, but I really can’t imagine you without the alcohol. I know you’re amazing, but I just feel like you will be so much better now. I can’t wait until we can just sit and talk, get to know each other as adults. It may seem silly, but I always felt like you knew me better than anyone else, even if you didn’t know all the small details that make me Francesca Taymon. Sometimes it’s not the person that knows the most about you, but the person that sees the most in you. I’ve always felt like you always saw the best in me. You see more when you look at me than I do. Cade, it’s wonderful to know you see the person I want to be when you look at me.

Anyways, I’m rambling. Thank you for your “poem.” I laughed for days over that. You’re such a funny person. I’ve been keeping it right next to my bed so I can read it...and I may have read it to Daphne when she called the other day. It was just too hilarious not to!

The grand opening is in 23 days! I’m running around like a maniac trying to get everything finished. Zander just started his first year of law school, so we’ve been frantic. I don’t want him to miss out on his studies, but he’s volunteered to do so much for me. My dad has been a life saver with all the business paperwork I’ve had to fill out. I didn’t realize there was so much involved. I have to apply for a tax ID, register with the county clerk’s office, register with the IRS, and a ton of other things. It’s making me crazy. Not to mention, my mom and Daphne decided I needed to have a huge launch party the Friday before my first official day of business. I’m trying not to stress over that, but they’ve invited some of the town’s biggest names. Your parents were invited, too. I wish you could be there. Big crowds like that make me nervous.

I’ve decided I’m getting a kitten when you get to come home. I want you to go with me to the shelter and get it. We did a good job finding Hammy, so I figure we should work together again. I think I’ll get another boy, because I’ve read cats fight a lot if they’re opposites. I don’t think I could handle seeing my babies fighting.

Reid said you’ll get to be an outpatient soon, but doubts it’ll be before my party :( I’m so proud of you, Cade. I can’t tell you that enough. So many people wouldn’t even bother to try, and you’ve worked hard and improved by leaps and bounds. It’s such a great accomplishment. I’m so excited I get to see it.

Daphne just showed up and is rambling on about some kind of tablecloth for the party. I guess I’d better wrap this up now. I’ll take lots of pictures so you don’t miss out on anything. I’m including some of what the office looks like now. It’s not completely decorated yet, but it’s getting there. Don’t you just love that desk? I think I’ll frame one of those, just to show everyone that comes to my house. Extreme?

I miss you, I think of you, I pray for you, and I can’t wait to have your body touching mine. Your lips haunt my dreams, taunting my skin to the point that I wake up in sweaty frustration. I know you’ll continue to improve and when you get a release date, let me know so I can start a countdown. I love you, Cade Kelling.

Francesca

My heart soared after reading her words. Reid was right surprising her was the way to go. Each letter made me a little more determined to succeed and do everything in my power to make her proud. She already was, but I didn’t quite feel like I lived up to it. I leaned back in the chair, closing my eyes, and daydreamed of Francesca’s painfully beautiful eyes and face inches from mine.

T
he launch party for the grand opening of my law office was less than a week away. My nerves were getting worse, the sinking, nauseous feeling following me around everywhere I went. Starting a business was a huge risk, I could fail. I could succeed, but that wasn’t nearly as scary as failure. Why was it that when faced with something new and terrifying, humans always thought of the worst possible outcome? Why was it so difficult to think of the good? The positive of any given situation? These thoughts had been heavy on my mind the past two weeks, the closer I got to opening, the more falling on my face seemed like the most likely outcome.

Cade’s letters had become vague about his release date. I didn’t know if he wasn’t doing as well as he was, if he’d exaggerated how well from the beginning, or if he changed his mind about me. None of the options gave me a good feeling. I tried to not worry about it, but it was really difficult not to. I missed his eyes gazing into mine like I was the only girl he ever saw, the way his silky brown hair was mussed in all directions, the slight, sexy grin he gave me at every comment I made. My heart hurt at the thought of losing him again. I didn’t know if I would ever be able to love anyone the way I loved Cade.

Daphne made me sign and address every invitation for the party. She wanted to them to be “personalized” and thought that if she helped me, someone would find out and bad mouth me for it. I didn’t know if she was crazy or a genius. So I sat and hand wrote one hundred invitations for the party. My hands felt like they would fall off at any moment, but they had to go out tomorrow, so I was stuck until I finished. I glanced at the latest letter from Cade, willing myself to not open and read it again. This would be the fifth time, but I kept on. Each time I hoped I would see something I didn’t the time before, some hidden meaning to let me know everything was still good with us. I finally gave in, laying my pen aside and holding the paper in my shaky hands.

Francesca,

How are you? The office looks great. I hope you have a great time with the rest of the decorations and getting ready for the party. It sounds like it will be fun. I’m sure you’ll have a blast and get a lot of clients from it.

Daphne sounds like she will make sure everything runs smoothly. It’s good you have a friend on your side when you’re doing something new. How is the lawsuit? I hope it’s over by now. You haven’t mentioned it, so I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.

Getting Hamlet a friend will be good, I think. I’m sure he will enjoy having a playmate. I don’t know when I’m getting out, so maybe you should go ahead and get one so you don’t have to wait. I don’t want you to put things on hold for me. It’s not fair to you. I’ve hurt you enough in this life and I can’t stand the thought of doing it more. If you want a cat, go get one. If you really want to wait, then I’m fine with that, but don’t do it just because of me.

Reid wants me to stay with him when I’m released. He thinks it would be good for me to have him as a soundboard while I deal with all the outpatient stuff. I feel like it’s a good idea to do it. Everyone keeps saying the first few months I’m in the real world again will be the hardest, and I don’t want to screw up.

I wish I could tell you when I’m getting out or be there for you during all of this. My heart is heavy with regret. You’ve done so much for me, been there for me through everything, and I always abandon you. For alcohol, another girl, or some other reason, like needing rehab to kick my addiction. I know you deserve better, Francesca. I’m so honored you feel I’m worthy. I hope I someday measure up to the man you feel that I am. It’s so hard, being in here, knowing I’m getting help and it’s for the best, but also knowing I can’t see you or be with you during all of this. You should have all the love and support that you give, and I can’t do that. I never have.

Anyways, I hope I hear from you before the launch, but I understand if I don’t. I know you’re busy and your time is taken up. I hope everything goes extremely well for you, but I somehow just know it will. You are still on my mind all the time, and I do apologize for all the pain I’ve brought you. I know you don’t want to keep hearing me repeat these things, but I really need you to understand how sorry I am. I will always love you, Francesca, I always have. It’s you, and you alone. I hope you’ll invite Reid to your opening, because he’s been excited about it when we talk. He can give me all the details that way, too. Until we speak again, my thoughts are consumed with you.

Love,

Cade

Confusion took over most of my emotions lately. He seemed to love me, but did he want to be with me? The insecurity he has seemed to be growing, and while I understood it, I didn’t know how to make him see I’d forgiven him. He had to forgive himself for it to mean anything, though.

I lay the paper aside, guiding my pen back to the envelopes. Only twenty-five more to address and I would be finished. I was in desperate need of sleep, because tomorrow Daphne promised me a day of shopping for the perfect outfit. I was dreading it. I closed my mind to all things Cade Kelling, concentrating on the task at hand until my eyelids could no longer stay open.

M
y excitement was oozing out of my pores. Reid’s place was nice, but I felt contained. Francesca was so close, yet so far away. It was a mere three hours until her launch party, and it was almost more than my heart could take. I was on official outpatient status for the next three months. After that, I would be evaluated and they would decide where to go from there. I was ecstatic to know that I accomplished so much, did something I never thought possible. I was
proud
of myself, a word I never thought I would use to describe me. When the doctor signed my release papers, I got so emotional that I almost felt tears in my eyes. Definitely not something I ever expected.
Ever.

So here I was, sitting on Reid’s couch, bouncing my leg and drumming my fingers on the side. I needed to see her. My body hurt from being away so long. I’d been vague in my last few letters, not wanting her to know I was being released so close to her party, but now that it was here, I couldn’t wait any longer.

“Reid!” I yelled, jumping to my feet and pacing.

“Cade...it’s almost time, buddy.” His voice was slow and his words deliberate. I was beginning to think he was annoyed with me.

“I need to go now. She’ll be there setting up and ready to greet early goers, and I’m one of them. Please take me to her office, now.” I kept my voice stern. I couldn’t wait any longer. I needed to see her, to gaze into her loving brown eyes, feel her silky tresses through my fingers, and her soft, luscious lips against mine. “Now, Reid. I’m getting dressed,” I said, bounding up his stairs and to the spare room I was using.

Cason had brought over the necessities, plus a few other things I desperately needed that he had to get from Mom. I rummaged through the closet, pulling the penguin suit from its bag, and threw it on. I was in a rush, not caring how I looked at that moment. Reid stood at the door, shaking his head as he laughed at me.

“Let’s go. You got what you need?” he asked, raising his brows.

“Of course,” I smiled, patting my pockets. “Come on!” I exclaimed excitedly.

###

T
he drive was too long. I fidgeted with everything from the hem of my jacket to his dash. The building Reid stopped at was massive. It was about two blocks from the courthouse, and looked to house multiple law offices. The window in the middle held a large sign, lit from behind, that her name graced. My heart quickened, knowing she was beyond the doors to my right. I hadn’t seen pictures from the outside, only the interior, so I took a second to take it all in. The sidewalk was lined with flowers, but only around her doors. Only Francesca would decorate the outside of her office, too. The doors were large, double doors with bells tied to the top. The window was clear, besides the sign, with one of those short curtain things at the top of it. It look amazing, so nice, and so
Francesca
.

“You ok?” Reid asked from the driver’s seat.

Turning, I saw him watching me curiously. “Yeah, just taking a mental picture. You coming in with me?”

Shaking his head, he said, “Nah, not right now. I think I’ll wait until the party actually starts,” he chuckled.

“Ok, I’ll see you in there,” I said, climbing out of the car. I walked slowly to the doors, my stomach suddenly overcome with a fury of nervous butterflies. I clenched my fists three times, counted to ten, and pushed the door open. Vanilla wafted through the air, attacking my nostrils before I even fully stepped inside. Leisurely chairs adorned the area to my left with a coffee table housing magazines in the middle. A taller table was directly behind them, a coffee maker and glass cups adorning the top. A large desk was to the right, a computer and office supplies cluttering the top. Bookshelves lined the walls, full of folders, books, and various knickknacks decorating certain points on the shelves. No one was around, the office was eerily quiet. The door in the back contained a faceplate saying “Francesca Taymon, Attorney at Law.” The door was open, but no one was inside. I stepped further in the room, my eyes taking everything in when the bell behind me jarred me from my thoughts.