The Year I Went Pear-Shaped (24 page)

I reached up and ran my finger down the fresh scar.

“...I saw all the terrible things she did to you. I saw her put the clock in front of you and tell you that if Gordon didn’t arrive in 20 minutes she’d kill you, I saw it all and I couldn’t help you. It was a terrible feeling.”

As Margot talked about what she’d seen, chills ran down my spine and my stomach did flips. Not only did it remind me of the whole ordeal but how could she have seen exactly what happened? I swallowed. Margot was still talking.

“...but what was even stranger was that I wasn’t the only one floating above the whole scene, there were about five or six other...gosh, I don't know what to call them, spirits, I guess...anyway, they were all dressed in clothes from different centuries but they were all looking at me and kind of talking but not really talking, I could just hear their voices in my head. They were saying, ‘go back, call Anita’, they were saying it over and over again but I didn’t know how to go back, I didn’t know how to wake up again. I tried telling them but then suddenly I was back, I shot upright in bed, got up and ran to the phone. I called you at your Gran’s home Anita, I don’t even know how I knew the number, again it was like someone was whispering it in my head.”

I looked at Anita, she had gone pale.

“Jesus Margot, that’s one freaky fucking story,” I said.

“Yes, I know but I swear it’s true.”

“I’ve no doubt that it is, that’s what makes it so fucking freaky!”

Anita nodded and muttered ‘Jesus’ a few times under her breath.

“Well, thank you Margot. Like I said, you saved my life. I am forever grateful. I don’t know how I can ever repay you.”

She blushed again. “Oh no, like I said, I’m just very glad that you’re ok. And looking back it was a very special experience for me, I’ve had some strange things happen but that was definitely the most supernatural event of my life.”

“Yep, well, keep drinking the special tea Margot, it obviously provides a bridge between you and The Other Side. But if you end up hovering in my bedroom again, can you see whether there’s a shoe on the top of the wardrobe? I think I threw it up there a couple of months ago,” I joked to lighten the atmosphere a bit.

“Is it a pink kitten heel?” she asked. I nodded. “Yes, it was up there, the heel is wedged down the back of the wardrobe.”

“God!” Anita cried. “She’s right Darl. When Gordon and I switched our rooms around, it fell down. Bloody hell Margot...” she said, turning to stare in disbelief at the old lady.

“I know dear, it’s very odd,” Margot said, making the understatement of the century. I think I must’ve been, you know, astral travelling. It’s not the first time but it’s never been quite as dramatic as this latest episode. I’m thinking of taking a night class at the college called, Develop Your Psychic Powers, so that I can learn to do it at will. That would be fun don’t you think?”

She looked at each of us in turn, smiling.

We both looked back at her, our jaws on the floor.

“Astral travelling?” I said. “You gotta start selling that bloody tea Margot.”

Chapter 52: Slap Down

‘Come on Darla, you can do it’ I said to myself for the hundredth time. I was parked up in the green Barina at the end of Gordon’s street and had been sitting there for 20 minutes, trying to psych myself up to knock on his door. Driving over had been a slow process thanks to my shoulder but I’d managed, luckily the Barina was an automatic. Sitting on the passenger seat next to me was a bottle of Hunter Valley merlot.

‘Come on,’ I urged myself yet again, ‘just drive to his house and see if he’s there. You can do it! What are you so bloody worried about?’ So, with a burst of determination in the spirit of my new approach to life, which was ‘stop waiting, start acting’, I started the engine again, put the gearstick into ‘drive’ and pulled out from the kerb. About 40 seconds later I pulled up outside his house just behind a flashy red sportscar.

Taking a few deep breaths, I grabbed the wine and got out the car. My heart felt like it was in my mouth when I got to the door and pressed the bell.

As I stood there waiting, I resisted the urge to turn and sprint back up the path to my car. I heard footsteps getting louder from the other side of the door and seconds later, there he was, standing in front of me. A vision of beauty clad in nothing but pyjama bottoms. God, he was gorgeous. I tried not to stare too hard at his naked torso.

I could tell he was surprised to see me. He stood speechless for a second then said, “Darla! God, what’re you doing here?” He raised one beautiful, muscular arm up and pushed his long fingers through his blonde fringe. I searched his face for a clue as to whether he was pleased to see me but couldn’t tell. If anything he looked perplexed and, oh god no, was that a hint of annoyance in his eyes?

“I, um, I wanted to thank you, for the bed, you know, and to see how you were doing. Sorry, I should’ve called first,” I stammered, feeling my cheeks heat up with embarrassment.

“No, no,” he replied a little too quickly, “it’s, ah, great to see you, it’s just that I’ve got someone with me right now, I didn’t know you were coming round...”

And then a voice called through from inside the house.

“Who is it Honey?”

Jesus. It was Talia. I’d recognise that voice anywhere. My heart tumbled from my throat and hit the bottom of my stomach.

“It’s Darla Manners,” he shouted at her over his shoulder.

“Look, I’ve obviously come at a bad time, I can see you’re busy,” I blurted. “I’ll just go and leave you to it, I’ll see you some other time.”

Then I saw her, walking up behind him. In his bathrobe. A wave of nauseous went through me.

“Deela! How lovely to see you. Gordon was just telling me all about your awful ordeal, weren’t you Honey?” She stroked his bare arm with her long nails. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am that you had to go through that with that insane woman. It’s so sad to see a woman obsessed with a man she can’t have, don’t you think?”

Why did I get the feeling that was a jibe at me?

“Um, yeah, look, I think I’ll be going, you two are obviously busy.”

I remembered the wine bottle and quickly hid it behind my back. A move that no-one missed.

“Nice to see you again Talia, see you later Gordon.”

“Bye Deela Darling,” she called out with, I detected, a hint of scorn.

I could feel my face turn crimson as I turned and headed quickly up the path again.

“No, wait!” Gordon called out and came running after me in his bare feet. “Look, I’m sorry Darla,” He said, his voice lowered so that Talia couldn’t hear. “Can we talk tomorrow? I’d love to catch up with you soon, ok? I really wanna know how you’re doing. I’ll call you in the morning.”

“Gorrdon Love,” Talia interrupted, “hurry back in, I need you, ah, for ‘something’.”

Oh stop it you smug bitch.

“Sure, whatever,” I said to him, hardly looking in his direction in case I burst into tears then I made a bid for escape to my car as fast as I could.  Once safely back in the driver’s seat, I jerked the car into motion and sped away. Humiliation and disappointment burned the back of my throat and the ache in my heart was literally physical. It was hard to even breath.

‘You fucking fool,’ I said to myself as I raced home. ‘As if he’d want you when he’s got every woman in town throwing herself at him. As if you could compete with her, you stupid, fucking fool’.

Chapter 53: Break Another Little Piece of My Heart Now Baby

“Anita! He was standing there virtually naked! In nothing but some pyjama bottoms and that wannabe Latino sexpot was in his house! What else could they possibly be doing? Of course they were shagging! He was probably fucking her from behind over the back of the sofa as I rang the bell. God, I just wanna die.”

It was the next morning and I was pouring my pain out to Anita. In the background the top fifty music videos were playing on the telly and at that moment the screen was filled with fat black men, sporting baseball caps and far too much gold jewellery, singing into the camera while gorgeous, coffee-coloured women in tiny bikinis jiggled their boobs and butts around.

“Look, it might not have been what it seemed...” she reasoned.

“Oh puh-lease...”

“...shut up, you’re jumping to conclusions. For godsakes pull yourself together. Even if he was having sex with her, it doesn’t mean it meant anything or that he’s back with her. Men have meaningless sex with women they don’t particularly like all the time! And we certainly know that Gordon is no choirboy. It’s not the end of the world.”

“Yes it is!” I cried and rolled on to my back on the carpet, taking care not to bump my shoulder, which was healing nicely but still tender. “She’s beautiful, famous and she’s totally gotten under his skin. There’s no hope. I’m gonna die a lonely old spinster with just Big Black Ben to keep me company.”

“Oh for godsake Darla, why don’t you just ask him about her when you talk to him?”

I sighed loudly while the men on telly continued bleating on and on about how they were the best ever and how no one came close to them, yada yada. Tell it to someone who gives a fuck fellas. Right now what I needed was lots of Janis Joplin.

I started singing while Anita looked on, bemused.

“Didn’t I make you feel, like youuuu were the only man?” I crooned, eyes closed. “Didn’t I give you everything that a woman possibly can? But of all the love I gave you, it was never enough! Well I’m gonna show ya baby, that a woman can be tough! So come on, come on, come on, come on! Take a, take another little piece of my heart now Baby, break it! Break another little piece of my heart now Baby, have it, have another little piece of my heart now Baby...”

I stopped when I realised the phone was ringing.

“Thank God! Saved by the bell,” said Anita. “You are sinking to new depths of patheticness Darl, don’t make me use Tough Love, I will if I have to...hello?” She said to the person on the other end of the phone.

“Oh hiiiii!” she tinkled, “how’s it going?”

Great. Now she’d be on the phone for about three hours and then who could I pour my angst out to? There was no justice. I turned back to the telly. The black guys had gone and in their place was some young blonde thing sitting in a bath overflowing with bubbles and looking all coy while singing something about not giving up till she got some guy. ‘Tragic!’ I thought till I realised that was kinda what I was doing. Oh the humanity.

“I know,” said Anita to whoever she was talking to, “it’s all been crazy, a huge upheaval but I think she’s doing remarkably well...”

“Hmmm, I know, an awful ordeal for all concerned,” Anita continued to whoever was on the other end, “we’re just bloody glad it’s over...sure, just a minute, I’ll put her on, she’s right here...Darla, it’s for you,” she said holding the receiver out to me.

“Who the hell is it?” I mouthed with a grimace. She didn’t answer, just raised her eyebrows insistently and shoved the phone at me again.

“Ok, ok,” I grumbled, rolling over and getting to my feet, I took the phone off her and sunk into the armchair.

“Hello?”

“Hi Darla, it’s Gordon.”

Jesus! Gordon. Fuck. I looked at Anita who was smiling smugly back at me.

“Oh. Hi. How’s it going?”

“I’m good, look, I really want to see you today. Can I take you out for a late lunch?”

I glanced at the clock on the wall. 11.30am.

“Sure, that’d be great. What time?”

“I’ll pick you up at two if that’s ok?”

“Yep, great, see you at two then.”

“Ok, looking forward to it, see you soon.”

And he hung up.

“See?” said Anita who was perched on the edge of the sofa. “I knew he’d want to see you. Now, you need to sort this out once and for all Darla, find out whether Talia is anything to him. I can’t stand much more of this. And, for once in your life, be honest, tell him how you feel. Why should you wait for him to do anything?”

She was right.

“I know Neets. I’ve got to start acting and stop reacting. You know what? I am going to tell him how I feel, I’m sick of this languishing about hoping he’ll make a move. I’m going to tell him the whole truth and suffer the consequences. No more fucking games and lies. And if he’s not interested fine, I’m gonna move on. Hey, find out if Toga boy has any single friends would you?”

“Oh stop it, Gordon’s not out of the picture yet so go and give it your darndest. Now, get your arse into the shower, you don’t have much time to make yourself presentable.”

Christ, she was right again, you had to hand it to the girl. I ran out the lounge and up the stairs to the bathroom to get ready and immediately started wondering what on earth was appropriate dress code for a luncheon with the Man of One’s Dreams at which you planned to bare your soul.

Chapter 54: Crunch Time

“We’ll order food a bit later,” Gordon told the waiter, “but if we could start with a drink, I’d like a glass of the house Semillon and my friend will have...”

Gordon looked at me expectantly while the waiter did what his job title indicated, ie, waited, his pen poised at the ready over his order pad, while I made up my mind.

“Make that two glasses of Semillon, and a bottle of water for the table,” I said, smiling up at the shy but cute, young man of about 23, probably a Kiwi I thought judging by the jade Maori Tiki hanging around his neck on a strip of leather. He had lightly freckled skin, beautiful long fingers with neat, clean nails and short, reddish blonde hair, a tuft of which was poking out the top of his black t-shirt. I’d always been a sucker for those little glimpses of manliness. A hint of chest hair or a quick flash of armpit coupled with a momentary flexing of long, smooth arm muscle, or the curve of a man’s butt as he walked away. I loved all that as long as it wasn’t obvious and the man in question didn’t realise. For half a second I wondered what it’d be like to sleep with the shy waiter. But it quickly passed, largely because I was sitting across from Man of Dreams.

He’d turned up at the house just before 2pm in a taxi, explaining that it was impossible to get parking around Darling Harbour unless you were willing to take out a mortgage to leave your car in one of the parking buildings in Chinatown.

The cab driver had dropped us off at King Street Wharf and we’d strolled down to an outdoor bar and restaurant that overlooked the harbour and was frequented by Sydney’s hippest trendsetters. As we’d walked over to an empty booth, Gordon had nodded and waved to several groups of people.

“So how’s the shoulder?” He asked once we’d sat down.

Phew. Start on safe ground.

“It’s still a bit tender but getting better all the time. I think it might’ve ruined my chances for getting on the gymnastic team for the next Olympics though.”

He laughed. “Well, there’s always 2022 to aim for.”

“Yeah, if I could just master those bloody cartwheels, I’d be in for sure.”

“The scar’s healing too,” he said, looking at my cheek and for the thousandth time since ‘that night’ I absentmindedly ran my middle finger down the length of it.

“Yep, but it’s never going to go away completely. It’s going to be a permanent reminder of that night, every time I look in the mirror.”

I could tell he didn’t know how to respond to that but just then the Kiwi waiter returned with our wine so conversation momentarily ceased while he put the glasses down in front of us and went off to attend to another table. I grabbed my glass and gulped down a huge mouthful before continuing.

“It’s ok though Gordon, a permanent reminder is a good thing!” I said leaning forward over the table towards him. “I don't want to forget that night because it changed me, for the better I think, and the scar is kinda symbolic of that...sorry,” I sat back in my chair again, “...am I being a bit too hippy chicky?”

“No! No, it’s fine. I mean you’re right. The whole nightmare caused a shift in the foundations of my life as well. It’s one of those events that divides up your life into before and after...” he changed position in his chair, “...like, from now on I’ll think of events in my life as ‘before the crazy butcher’ and ‘after the crazy butcher’.

“Yeah...” I said but he hadn’t finished.

“I just find it amazing that you’re taking it all so well Darl, many people would’ve had a complete breakdown after something like that. Or at the very least be getting major post trauma counselling.” He looked at me as if he just asked me a question and took another mouthful of wine.

“Well, I am getting counselling, I’ve got an appointment to see my counsellor, Tobsha, on Monday. And I’m still having nightmares about it where I wake up covered in sweat, shaking with fear, because I’m sure she’s in the room. And I’ve had to sleep with the light on every night since it happened but I think that’s a pretty natural reaction which will gradually go away...hey, by the way, that reminds me, I still haven’t thanked you properly for the new bed. It’s fantastic Gordon, I’m really, really grateful.”

He smiled. “It’s the least I could do after that whole ordeal. I just kept kicking myself for not having dealt with her letters so much earlier then it might never have gotten so out of hand...”

“Yeah, well hindsight’s a great thing eh? In hindsight I wouldn’t have lied about my fake boyfriend, Brad, or...”

I stopped mid-sentence, catching myself just before admitting out loud to having had a shrine to him in my bedroom. No, even though he’d seen it, I couldn’t bring myself out to actually say the ‘shrine’ word in his company. Better to just pretend it never happened. For now anyway.

He laughed. “Yeah, Brad Timberlake! That’s hilarious really.” He shook his head at me. “You idiot, what on earth did you go making up a boyfriend for?”

“I told you! Because I didn’t want you to think I was after you.”

“Yeah, but why didn’t you want me to think that?” He said teasingly.

God. Here was the perfect opportunity to own up. Should I just spill my guts or side step the whole thing. It’d be really easy to make a joke right now and the danger would pass. I bought time to think with another gulp of wine and realised with a shock that I’d almost finished it. I motioned to the waiter to bring another round because Gordon was almost finished his as well. We were both chucking the stuff back like water. I was nervous as hell, what was his excuse?

He looked at me expectantly, waiting patiently for an answer.

“Because, Gordon, I
was
after you but I didn’t think you fancied me and I didn’t want to get rejected. Ok?”

Bloody hell, I’d said it. There it was, out in the open. And wonder of wonders, I was still alive.

He threw his head back and laughed. Then he stood up, came over to the seat right next to mine and sat down, pulling his chair right up to the edge of mine, he took my hand.

“Darla, I am most definitely attracted to you ok?” he said softly. My stomach did a triple somersault ending in a back flip. His face was so close I could feel his breath and my heart was pounding so hard I swear I could feel the blood whooshing around my brain. That was a huge relief to hear but what did it really mean? That he’d be happy to fuck me just like he’d fucked every girl in my senior year plus God knows how many women since then. No, that’s not what I was after. I’d rather not sleep with him at all than just be yet another of his casual shags.

I turned to face him, looked straight into his eyes and turned on my most sincere voice.

“I’m bloody glad to hear that Gordon but that’s not what I’m after, a casual fuck I mean. I want you and I don’t just mean for one or two nights.  I want to be with you. I want to date you, see movies with you, go on picnics with you, do the shopping with you, sit in cafes with you, eat takeaway in front of telly with you, backpack around Ireland with you... do you understand what I’m saying?”

He blew out a long breath and squeezed my hand.

“That’s a big thing you’re saying Ms Manners, I understand that much.”

“Yeah, well, I’m a woman in love Mr Worsley.”

Christ, there was no going back now.

“Ok, so when do we start?”

“What?”

“This dating thing, when do we start?”

“But, what about Talia? Aren’t you seeing her?”

“No, that’s well and truly over. I know how it looked last night but I swear to God she’d turned up unannounced about ten minutes before you did. I was telling her to leave just as you arrived. I knew full well what you were presuming but I didn’t think it was the right time to put you straight. I wanted to get rid of her once and for all first.”

“But she was wearing your bathrobe?”

“That was a surprise to me too, she’d just gone to the bathroom -- to use the toilet I’d thought -- and when she came back she was naked apart from my robe. It was a last ditch attempt to seduce me I suppose but it didn’t work, I told her to put her clothes back on sent her packing.”

“Honestly?”

“Cross my heart and hope to die. Yeah, we used to be together but she’s not The One, she’s sly, ruthlessly ambitious, with a mean streak you could land a Boeing on. Nasty things sometimes come in very pretty packaging Darl. Then again, very nice things sometimes come in pretty packaging too.”

And then he kissed me. Full on the mouth. My stomach resumed it’s gymnastics routine, this time pulling a few other internal organs along with it.

His lips were soft and he tasted like wine. The kiss started out gently but soon heated up as our tongues met.

After a few minutes, we pulled apart.

“That was fabulous Darla, I’d like to do a lot more of that.”

“Mmm, me too.”

Our chairs were as close as they could get and his arm was around my back. I let my hand rest on his thigh.

“I tried to tell you in the hospital,” he said, “but there was never the time. Basically, I’m crazy about you. I have been for weeks now. You’re beautiful, funny and smart and when I’m not with you I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve even put up a little shrine to you in my bedroom.”

“You have not! You’re teasing me!”

“No, I swear I have, you’ll just have to come to my bedroom and have a look for yourself, won’t you?” he said with a sly grin.

Then he leant into kiss me again.