Read The Year of the Sex Olympics and other TV Plays Online
Authors: Nigel Kneale
Everyone is staring at him. Even Cobb’s complacent mask is disturbed.
Tetsy starts after Sam. Just through the doorway she meets her father’s eye and halts.
INSIDE THE TAVERN BAR
Sam is walking slowly down the empty bar-room. All his concentration is directed within himself. He turns as the others come straggling after him.
SAM
: I heard men running on a great cobbled road through them woods. But there’s no road, nor ever has been.
SIR TIMOTHY
(from doorway)
: That’s true. It’s always been forest land.
A momentary silence. Then Cobb is beside him, breaking the spell.
COBB
: Come, sir, come . . . you realise what you’re doing? You’re adducing this very lack, this nothing . . . as if it
supported
his tale!
(Sharply)
Has no one else ever heard these sounds?
BIG JEFF
: Job Mousley.
An amused murmur.
SIR TIMOTHY
: An old poacher. Three years ago. He was in the woods on what must have been the same night of the year, but that signified naught until Sam here . . .
COBB
: Where is this old man?
SIR TIMOTHY
: He died. A week or two later.
COBB
(heavily)
: Of shock, no doubt?
Some nods and mutterings.
LANDLORD
: He was took mortal strange.
COBB
: How disobliging of him.
(He glances round)
And there’s no other witness of this remarkable annual uproar? You must all live within a mile or two. Nobody?
(As heads are shaken, he turns to Sir Timothy)
Yourself, sir? Your lady . . . your servants . . .
(He looks down the bar) . . .
with one exception.
Sam is at the window, peering out through the tiny panes at the darkening village street.
SIR TIMOTHY
: It seems you have to be in the woods.
(He looks at his watch again, calls out)
We leave in ten minutes.
BIG JEFF
: It’ll be a cool night, sir.
SIR TIMOTHY
: Very well . . .
(To landlord)
. . . Hot toddy for every man before we go. Small ones, though.
(To Cobb)
I take it, sir, you will not be with us?
LAVINIA
: Oh, he must. Who else will stand for common sense?
COBB
: Thank’ee, madam.
LAVINIA
: It was for that I invited Mr. Cobb.
Cobb shows her back into the private room.
COBB
: And for that only?
INSIDE THE PRIVATE ROOM
LAVINIA
: What do you mean, sir? When Sir Timothy told me he was going to investigate . . .
(She suddenly breaks into a direct, disarming smile)
. . . I thought you might . . . like to come . . .
(He moves towards her. Conscious of Jethro’s presence, she moves away. It is a kind of unskilled coquettishness, clumsy for lack of practice. She picks up Jethro’s notes and after a glance casts him a look of mild surprise)
. . . a neat hand!
(She is conscious of both men, as just now she was conscious of Cobb and her husband. To Cobb)
What did you think of him?
COBB
: Your rustic? A head full of fright and old wives’ tales!
Jethro watches him with an irony that is never far below the surface. Resentment at being taken for granted has taught him subtle ways to provoke, and to use them when Cobb is ruffled, as now.
JETHRO
: He seemed . . . honest in the mind.
COBB
: Did he so!
JETHRO
(to Lavinia)
: When I was a child in Jamaica, Ma’am, the generality of people believed in such things.
COBB
: His people were savages . . . slaves!
LAVINIA
: That was no fault of theirs.
COBB
: Who said it was?
LAVINIA
: Without benefit of religion, what else could . . . ?
COBB
: They had religion enough! Demons, idols, voodoo.
JETHRO
: Obeah, we called it, sir.
COBB
: Obeah, then. Every possible consolation. What they lacked was the benefit of
real . . . human . . . thought. (He stabs the words out)
Of philosophy!
(At Jethro)
Which he lacks not!
JETHRO
: I am most gratefully aware, sir . . .
COBB
(to Lavinia)
: As you see, he’s had more than a flunkey’s training. He has a brain. I’ve made him use it.
JETHRO
: I use it.
COBB
: Demonstrate. Show the lady some excellence on this topic.
JETHRO
(hesitantly)
: I have thought . . .
(To Cobb)
You may not approve of this . . . it is a matter of scale: our minds are limited, in a limitless universe. There may be forces whose nature we can in no way grasp—inaccessible to our finest philosophy.
COBB
(flatly)
: Don’t quote.
JETHRO
: Did I?
COBB
: “More things in heaven and earth, Horatio”. Above all, don’t quote a poet, a professional liar.
(His anger rising)
You have been taught some discipline of the mind, Jethro. Never, never betray that. I will not have those about me who would open doors to confusion and magic!
(Breathing harder, he waves him away)
Get out. Get out there and help them.
The door opens. It is Sir Timothy.
JETHRO
(stiffly)
: Sir . . . can I take these things out for you? The electroscope?
SIR TIMOTHY
: You know what it is?
JETHRO
: Yes. In spite of the cat.
SIR TIMOTHY
: Er . . . Please take it.
Jethro picks it up deftly.
INSIDE THE TAVERN BAR
The men are crowding round the bar as Jethro passes. The landlord is serving hot toddy.
Sam Towler is standing where he was, near the window. Tetsy is with him. She shrinks against him as Jethro passes.
LANDLORD
(off-stage)
: Tetsy. Where are you, girl?
TETSY
: Coming, father—
She runs to help him.
OUTSIDE THE TAVERN
Jethro comes out of the tavern. He glances about, goes to the handcart. He sets the electroscope into a pad of sacking, covers it and starts to strap it down.
INSIDE THE PRIVATE ROOM
The landlord enters with a tray on which are a glass jug of steaming toddy and three glasses. He places it before Sir Timothy, who pours.
COBB
: Jethro’s an experiment—
(to Sir Timothy)
You see, I make them too. On the whole, he works.
SIR TIMOTHY
: He’s a man.
COBB
: He is now. Almost. He was bought in slavery by an old friend of mine. His mind was a child’s. Less, with nothing in it but a little darkness. I emptied it clean, poured in new impressions and the ideas they formed. Nothing old or false, no cant. I set him at all matters, to seek truth. Tested his brain against others in argument. And at last—that savage is the equal of any man in the kingdom.
SIR TIMOTHY
: Then why do you not respect him?
COBB
(astonished)
: Respect? Respect, sir, is no part or parcel of the matter. You might as sensibly ask me to respect him for the silver buckles I’ve put upon him.
SIR TIMOTHY
: I can respect him.
Cobb stares at him. The ready guffaw does not come. He is uneasy at the working of something on another level. The way to deal with it is to demolish it.
COBB
(roaring)
: Sir, you have a vice of politeness in you.
LAVINIA
(laughing)
: Politeness a vice?
COBB
: Nay, in many it is. Should he succeed this night, he’ll beg pardon of the ghosts for raising ’em.
(He laughs with Lavinia, raising his glass to Sir Timothy)
Truth in toddy, sir. Well, here’s to your enterprise—
INSIDE THE TAVERN BAR
The toddy is going down fast in the bar outside. There is a buzz of drink-warmed argument, at the centre of which are Big Jeff and Sam Towler.
BIG JEFF
: And there’s not even a gibbet round these parts.
SAM
: I know naught about that—
BIG JEFF
: A gibbet’s where you find ’em. Ay. Over to Palehouse Common, there was that old gibbet there, and the place was alive with ’em.
(A wink at his neighbour on the other side)
Every night, mark you, not just once a year—
The camera pans to Tetsy. She is crossing with a couple of tankards in her hands when something catches her attention. She goes to the door and looks out.
OUTSIDE THE TAVERN
Jethro is crouching beside the handcart. His manner has changed: His face is somehow loosened, the eyes wide and distant. He is crooning to himself a tune of deep and ancient sadness, the words forgotten.
He is oblivious of the girl watching him from the doorway.
INSIDE THE PRIVATE ROOM
Sir Timothy is pulling on his greatcoat. Cobb picks his up and struggles with it.
COBB
: Where’s that damned cannibal of mine? Never where I need him.
LAVINIA
: You speak so, Mr. Cobb—
COBB
(lost in the folds)
: And mean it too.
LAVINIA
: Yet you fight against slavery—
COBB
(emerging)
: Slavery has always existed, madam.
LAVINIA
: You have written against it.
COBB
: I have said it will come to an end. Not quite the same thing. Good or bad, it must end by being ridiculous. Machines will supplant it.
SIR TIMOTHY
: Machines.
COBB
: I’ve no possible doubt of it. The great steam pumps we see now—are going to have a million descendants. In a hundred years—in two, certainly—machines will do all the world’s fetching and carrying. They’ll be more obedient, loyal and industrious than any slaves in history. They’ll carry men through the air and over the seas.
LAVINIA
(disbelievingly)
: Mr. Cobb—
COBB
: They’ll sow and reap for us—water the deserts—melt the polar snows—
LAVINIA
: All this with steam?
COBB
: There’ll be far greater forces.
SIR TIMOTHY
: The imponderables—
COBB
(losing patience)
: No, sir. Powerful, real forces that actually exist—that must exist to bind this universe and to quicken it. The very sources of life. Man will find them in the end.
SIR TIMOTHY
: Yes, I suppose so, as each of us contributes his—
COBB
: My poor squire. Man will do it by using his mind utterly anew, plumbing the deepest levels of insight and reason—
(He laughs)
not by sniffing at those sorcerers’ jars.
(Injured, Sir Timothy snatches up the box of jars)
The nose will not serve, sir, but to find a bad smell.
(Lavinia laughs with him as Sir Timothy kicks the door open and goes)
’Tis the brain must do it.
INSIDE THE TAVERN BAR
Men turn, wiping their mouths, as the squire makes for the outer door. Lukey bobs responsibly forward and signs to the others. They surge towards the door.
OUTSIDE THE TAVERN
Jethro scrambles to his feet as men straggle out of the tavern.
INSIDE THE TAVERN BAR
As Cobb and Lavinia follow, he catches her arm.
COBB
: Is your carriage here?
LAVINIA
: Yes, but we go to the woods on foot—
COBB
: The woods. Are we really bound to this buffoonery?
LAVINIA
: We?
COBB
: You and I. When I think of those wines of yours back at the Hall—
LAVINIA
(seeing the drift)
: Oh, no—
COBB
: Lying untasted.
For a moment, Lavinia is torn. Then there is a scuttle of feet as Tetsy runs from the doorway behind the bar, pulling a shawl about her.
LAVINIA
: Your world of machines—I think I should like that.
(She watches Tetsy run on out, turns to him quickly)
I can’t. Not yet. We must go with the others. Please.
(He nods, humoring her. As they go)
Perhaps there’ll even be philosophical machines.
COBB
: To do our thinking?
(Pleased by the notion)
Ay. At least they’d not believe in bogeys.
He follows her out.
OUTSIDE THE TAVERN
Big Jeff is brandishing a pitchfork, stabbing ferociously at the air.
BIG JEFF
: Take that, you headless old horror, you.
(Laughing to Sir Timothy)
I’ll kill ’em dead all over again.
SIR TIMOTHY
: Careful with that—
Lukey is issuing stout staffs and rakes and hoe-handles to the men.
BIG JEFF
: An’ nail ’em up like vermints to frikken their friends. How much’ll you gimmee for ’em, squire?