The Yggyssey (20 page)

Looking across the quivering bog, we could see a high, skinny mountain. It didn't seem to be very far away.

"The Devil's Shoestring," Viknik said. "We head in that direction."

We headed. In less than two hours, we had arrived at Old New Hackensack. There was a big banner hanging above and across the main street of the town:

OLD NEW HACKENSACK WELCOMES YOU TO
SUPERNATURAL DAYS

The streets were alive ... well, dead ... with ghosts, haunts, apparitions, phantoms, and imps. Also shades, spectres, spirits, shadows, and wraiths. And there were plenty of witches, enchantresses, wizards, hexes, hags, and sorceresses. And we got to see nixies, pixies, naiads, dryads, nymphs, goblins, and fairies. There were trolls, monsters, zombies, gnomes, and leprechauns. We noticed that the ghostly types were eating! Apparently, the inability of ghosts to eat food—only sniff it—was somehow suspended during Supernatural Days, and there was no end of vendors, with stands and carts, selling everything from popcorn to roasted toads.

There were lots of beverages being offered for sale, and we saw visitors drinking from big paper cups of witches' brew. And there were souvenirs for sale: crystal balls, pointy hats, Harry Houdini lunch boxes, magic wands, T-shirts with funny slogans. We heard music coming from loudspeakers: eerie organ music, funeral dirges, and a song called "I'll Put a Spell on You" were playing so loud, we couldn't hear one another speak. There were also lots of fortunetellers, and ugly parlors, which are like beauty parlors only for witches, where you can have warts put on your nose and chin, with an extra charge for the kind with thick black hairs coming out. There were broom re-strawers, black cat groomers, and witch-shoe repairers.

We saw the ghost of Harry Houdini himself among the crowd, and Billy the Phantom Bellboy, Rin Tin Tin, Fritz the projectionist, and lots of ghosts I recognized from the
Hermione. La Brea Woman was chatting away with some other ancient ghosts, in their native language, I suppose. She smiled and waved to me. Compared to this, the ghostly Halloween parade in Los Angeles was like a tea party for babies.

"Wow! What a crowd," Big Audrey said.

"It's great!" Neddie and Seamus said.

"What do we do now?" I asked. "I mean, how are we going to tell if Viknik's having the amulet has had any effect on Uncle's bad witch helpers? The whole place is such a mob scene."

"True," Seamus said. "It's pandemonium."

"Imagine meeting you here!" someone said. It was Ken Ahara, the grad student ghost fan, looking like he was in ghostology heaven, with four cameras hanging around his neck, snapping pictures every which way. I might have known he would find his way to an event like this.

"Is this not heaven, or am I mistaken, I think not," Ken Ahara said. He looked a little unsteady on his feet.

"Have you been drinking witches' brew?" I asked him.

"I am drunk with happiness," Ken Ahara said. "Also, I haven't slept for two nights. There's just so much going on!"

"You know where everything is and when things are supposed to happen?" I asked him.

"I have the whole schedule memorized," Ken Ahara said. "Ask me anything."

"Stick with us, Ken Ahara," I said. "We will have need of you."

"Anything to oblige," the overexcited spookologist said. Then he said, "Ohhh! A zombie! I need to get a picture!"

Ken Ahara rushed off, taking pictures wildly. A hag who happened to be standing nearby, enjoying an eye-of-newt ice cream cone, said to me, "I don't suppose anyone has told that young man that pictures taken here will definitely come out blank."

"No, I don't suppose anyone has," I said.

Ken Ahara came back all out of breath, from photographing, and being chased by, the zombie. It seems the zombie didn't want his picture taken.

"The big event of the whole festival is the Witch Rodeo and Ghost Olympics up on the mountain. It's tonight. There's broom flying, spell casting, teleportation, causing cow's milk to go sour, changing things into other things, and bobbing for poisoned apples. Also there is a ghostly choir and leprechaun clog dancing. Everyone is going to be there, and Uncle, who runs this whole territory, is going to make the opening speech."

It sounded pretty good. All we had to do was wait around, enjoying the sights in the town and snacking on fried dough in the shape of brooms and pointy hats, until the big show started.

"Also, this will be the perfect opportunity to see if the amulet worked," I told Viknik. "Everyone will be gathered together, including Uncle, and I assume the council of helpers will be with him. We can see if they've lost their power."

We walked up and down the streets of Old New Hackensack. The various supernatural visitors, witches, ghosts, and assorted unnatural tourists seemed happy and were having a good time. But we noticed the ordinary citizens of New Old Hackensack, and particularly the Shlermentalers, who were dressed more or less like Viknik, seemed to be slightly depressed. In spite of the festive atmosphere, I got the feeling that everyday New Old Hackensack was not a very happy place—it was the same feeling I had in New Yapyap City, though we weren't there long enough for me to be sure about it. I assumed people felt the way they did because they were ruled by a weak idiot who was controlled by evil beings.

Turning a corner, I saw a very large black rabbit, at least six feet tall, walking arm in arm with a guy in a rumpled raincoat. It was Chase! I had seen her assume different sizes, but this was the biggest yet.

"Chase!" I called out. "Where did you disappear to?"

"Ah, I see you made it," Chase said. "This is my friend Elwood. Elwood, say hello to Yggdrasil, Seamus, Neddie, and a couple of other people."

Elwood was polite and friendly. He shook hands with each of us.

"Why did you run off so fast?" I asked Chase. "We couldn't keep up with you."

"But you got here," Chase said. "Was the trip interesting?"

"Very."

"Well, that's all that matters," Chase said, smiling—if a rabbit can smile. "Look for me after the doings on the mountain are over, and I'll show you how to get home. Now Elwood and I are going to meet some people, so please excuse us." They wandered off, arm in arm.

As the sun began to set, the streets began to empty. There was a long procession up the road that led out of New Old Hackensack and up the mountain. At first, I couldn't figure out how they could hold a Witch Rodeo and Ghost Olympics on a steep, skinny mountain, but then I saw there was a big open space about halfway up. It was a natural arena, with a big flat floor with gently sloping ground all around it, so everybody would have a good view. We got good seats down in front. We'd be close to the show.

"What happens first?" I asked a weird sister who was reading a program.

"First, Uncle and the council of helpers will come out and open the festivities. Next are the dancing witches," the hag said.

"This will be our chance to get a look at the council of helpers," I whispered to Viknik.

"If the amulet did its work, they should be powerless," Neddie said. "How can we tell if they're powerless?"

"I don't know. How do you look powerless?

"Maybe we should do something to get them to react," Big Audrey said. "We could try to make them mad and see what they do."

"Yes! That would work," Seamus said. "We could insult them and see if they can put a curse on us or chase us or something."

"Of course, if the amulet didn't work, we'd be in big trouble," I said.

"The amulet must have worked," Viknik said. "Our old stories, old Shmoonik—why would he have hidden it in the the quivering bog if it wasn't the real thing?"

"About old Shmoonik," Neddie asked. "Just who was he, and what is known about him?"

"He was an old wizard," Viknik said. "Very great."

"Why was he great? What made him great?"

"Well, the only story I know about him is the one about hiding the amulet," Viknik said. "That, and the various traditional names for him."

"Traditional names?"

"Yes, Old Shmoonik, Crazy Shmoonik, Shmoonik the Bungler, names like that."

"Those were his names?"

"Sure," Viknik said. "Why are you looking at me like that? He was a great wizard. One of our greatest."

"Uh-oh," Neddie said. "I hope we're not going to be bitten by wolves."

"Bitten by wolves?" I asked. "Why would you say a thing like that?"

"I don't know," Neddie said. "It just popped into my head."

"Oh, look! Here they come!"

Coming out into the middle of the big open space was someone who could only be Uncle, with a little knot of witches around him. Uncle was a tall old man. He was wearing a big ten-gallon hat that cast a shadow over his face, and a muffler wrapped around his neck and chin. Even so, I could see that he was extremely handsome. I was not prepared to like him, but for some reason I did. I liked him a lot. There was something oddly familiar about him. He walked slowly, and he looked sad.

The witches were another matter. They were cold. They were bad. They had scary eyes. Very scary. They were all smiling, which made it much worse. We could feel the crowd shrink back in fear.

"Everybody is afraid of them," I whispered to Big Audrey.

"I don't think the amulet is working," she whispered back. "They look pretty powerful to me."

"Well, I guess we'll see the show, and then look for Chase and see about starting for home," Seamus said. "Sorry about the amulet thing, Viknik, old man. It was a good try."

The council of helpers had arranged themselves behind Uncle. It looked as though he was about to speak to the crowd. Everyone was quiet. It was the silence of fear. And then, suddenly, Viknik was on his feet. "Boo! Boo! Down with the evil council! Down with fershlugginer Uncle! Free the people of the Valley of Shlerm! Boo! Boo!"

We struggled with Viknik, trying to drag him into a sitting position.

"Boo! Boo! Uncle is an idiot! Down with all bad witches!" There was no stopping him.

"Gonna get bitten by wolves," Neddie said. One of the council of helpers pushed Uncle aside and pointed at us with a long crooked finger.

"You children! Come here!"

I for one had no intention of going there. And yet I found myself on my feet and trying hard not to take a step in the direction of Uncle and the witches. The other kids were standing too, and they were also trying to resist
the overwhelming urge to begin walking.

"Come here!" We all took a faltering step.

"I can't understand it," Viknik said. "Why didn't the amulet work?"

We took another step.

The witch crooked her crooked finger. "That's right. Come to us."

"Wolves, big wolves, gonna bite us all over," Neddie said.

Another step.

"Get the amulet out!" I said to Viknik. "Take it out of your bag!"

Another step.

"Wolves."

Viknik pulled the wooden box containing the amulet out of his leathern bag.