Authors: Laurie Mains
When she returned from the washroom he noticed she cleaned the tear smudges from her cheeks. When he asked about power in the women’s washroom he was not surprised when she shook her head. “And there’s no water either,” she said a little peeved that he failed to mention this important detail.
“Thanks for trying. I have to go now Andrea will be back soon.”
As they were leaving she said, “How do you know it works?”
“What?”
“So this Porno of yours, how do you know it works?” she said.
“It’s POrna and I tried it.”
“You tried it?” she said.
“Yes.”
“You tried it on yourself and because you haven’t started a war you think it works?” she said wondering how anyone could be that dense.
“Not on me.”
“So who did you try it on?” she said.
“Katie Peters.”
She looked at his face to see if he was joking.
“Tyler what are you talking about?” her voice was hushed with concern. “Did you do something to Katie?”
“I put POrna on her,” he said thinking she would find it funny because she laughed before.
“Tyler, listen to me. Did you do something to that girl?” she said. Her voice was serious and she was not smiling anymore.
“Yes. I saw her going to the pool and I put POrna on her shoulder when she bumped into me.”
“Oh my God,” she said backing away from him. “That’s why you were asking me all those questions about her.”
“Yes.”
What on earth did he do to Katie? An alarming realization dawned on her. Mike Peters will kill him if he did something to her.
“Oh my God.”
Andi?
September 23
CFB Naden
9:00 am
It was morning of his second day in British Columbia and he was already sick of military food. He was picking at his breakfast in the Officer’s Mess when a different woman came to get him. This one was wearing a name tag that read “Jones” on her uniform blouse and she came to tell him Colonel Western had called an emergency meeting.
When he arrived at the meeting there were two other people in the room along with Western. He saw the other men before but had not been introduced to them and he noticed he was not being introduced this time. The conference room in was in the sub-basement of a concrete building designated C Con. The room was windowless and it had a creepy confined feeling.
“We’ve discovered an outside connection,” Western said jumping right in. “Last July there was an incident involving Sergeant Peters’ daughter. She came down with a high fever after swimming at a public pool.” Western was looking at him as he spoke.
“They took her to Royal Jubilee Emergency where she was hospitalized for three days. They treated her for high fever and delirium associated with exposure to the polio virus.”
He noticed that Western was still staring at him and seemed to be waiting for a response so he complied and gave him a
’so what
’ shrug.
“She was swimming,” he continued,” with a friend and the friend reported she witnessed an older boy putting something on the Peters’ girl in the pool. Sergeant Peters dismissed it at the time because his daughter considered this friend and her story to be unreliable.
Our people interviewed the daughter and the other girl; the girlfriend clearly recalled the incident though Ms. Peters remained doubtful about the whole thing. The boy was identified as a sixteen-year-old Tyler Worthy. He lives with his mother in a rented house in the West Shore area of Victoria.”
Western stopped talking and he looked up and noticed he was staring at him again. The pause and staring continued for some time and he was becoming uncomfortable.
“Colonel, I’m sorry but I’m not following this. What has this to do with your soldier problem? Maybe this boy did do something to the girl, but so what? I admit the polio connection is interesting but polio cannot create this problem we are seeing in your men. None of this tracks. I think you are making an error pursuing that line of investigation.”
Western regarded him with an unreadable blank stare and as he watched his face it looked like the Colonel was trying to come to a decision about something.
“Dr. Mann, there is another reason we wanted your help with this problem. It turns out you are acquainted with this boy’s mother.”
Western was watching his face waiting to gauge his reaction to this news. The others in the room were also watching him.
“Acquainted? What does that mean? Is she a colleague or something?” he asked. He did not like the way this thing was going, it was obvious he was set up but he still did not know why.
“Andrea Gayle Worthington.” Western said the name watching his reaction.
“Andi?”
His eyes bore the unmistakable inward look of someone recalling a memory from a long time ago and that, unfortunately, was not the reaction he was hoping to see. He was looking for signs of guilt not the innocent surprise he saw now. The doctor did not attempt to deny knowing the woman which was, as far as he was concerned, almost certain proof he was not in on it. He was no actor and this was no act. Clearly Dr. Mann was not involved and his reaction proved it.
“She changed her surname to Worthy after she left a marriage that turned bad. Her ex-husband was a drug addict and according to Ministry documents tried to kill her while on a drug rampage. She suffered injuries from the assault and the ex is now in prison. It appears she was not willing to take a chance that he would find her when he got out so she and the kid took off.
This happened in Montreal fourteen years ago and she has been keeping a low profile in Victoria ever since. She works as a cashier in a local grocery store and neither she nor her son has any presence in police, family services, or court records.”
“Murphy,” he nodded at the taller of the two men in the room, “followed a hunch to see if she changed her name. That was how we connected her to you by tracing back through her name change to her marriage and then U of T. and that is where your name popped up,” he said.
He glared at Western, “You’ve known about this connection all along and that’s the real reason you brought me out here.” He shook his head in disgust at this pointless subterfuge. “I have not seen Andi Worthington for years. It’s true we dated for a while but we split up many years ago. That was great detective work Colonel you definitely nailed my ass on this one.”
Western’s face darkened.
“Doctor Mann, you must admit it is a strange coincidence, you being the aggression guy and your girlfriend’s son being the delivery boy, wouldn’t you agree?”
“First of all Colonel, I am not the ‘aggression guy’ as you like to call it. I stopped that research long ago mainly because of people like you. Yes, it is a coincidence that I know the boy’s mother but I have never met him and wouldn’t know him if I saw him. Please listen carefully to what I am saying Colonel Western, I did not create a virus that suppresses murderous aggression but if I could create such a thing I definitely would. The reason I have not created it is the same reason no one else has, it is simply not possible.”
He watched as Western stood up and walked around the table to where he was sitting and for a brief instant he thought the man was going to strike him. He definitely looked like he was ready to hit someone.
“I don’t think you understand the situation here Doctor Mann. You are not getting the big picture. The fact that you know this woman is enough for most reasonable people to assume you had something to do with this.”
He considered Western’s words and their implications for a moment and then gave him a sympathetic smile.
“I can see your problem Colonel you need to blame someone. I would consider it a singular honour to accept responsibility for putting an end to aggression. That is not such a bad way to be remembered.” He laughed at the look of discomfort on the Colonel’s face. “The only reason I don’t walk out of here right now is I’m interested, as a scientist, in discovering what has caused this problem. Who knows? Maybe the world is about to become a less violent place. No more armies, war, or murder. Wouldn’t that be a refreshing change for humanity?”
Western stood up and walked over to the door and put his hand on the knob. “How would you feel about making contact with the boy’s mother?” he said.
He had to hand it to the guy he never gives up. The idea of seeing Andi again after all these years made him uneasy. There was no scientific basis for wasting any time on this kid thing. It was a complete wrong turn and he wondered why Western was suggesting this reunion with her. He an uneasy feeling the Colonel was once again holding something back.
“I’m sorry Colonel but I’m not interested. You are wasting your time with this polio thing.”
“There is something else you don’t know Doctor Mann. The boy’s father is Julian Froste,” he said.
He was getting out of his chair but stopped when he heard the name. When he and Andi were both attending the University of Toronto Froste was a twenty-three-year-old French national living in Canada attending U of T on an international scholarship. He was famous on campus as a math genius of the first order.
“So Froste is this boy’s father and he is now in prison?”
“No. The boy’s stepfather is in prison. No one knows where Froste is he never returned to France he simply dropped off the grid. We think he might be using the boy but for what purpose we don’t know. Look at your friend Jonas sometimes people with big brains do poorly in the real world. If Froste is involved in this you have to agree that it is much more likely a mind like his could come up with an anti-aggression virus,” Western said.
“Froste was brilliant and yes if anyone could it would be someone like him. But he was a mathematician not a biologist and I still don’t believe what you are suggesting is even possible. There are too many variables to deal with when considering the biology of aggression,” he said.
“Will you go and talk to the mom?” Western was pushing hard to close the deal and he wondered why. He thought it over while Western and the others watched and waited for him to make a decision. He was curious about the real reason he wanted him to see Andi. The idea that her son was somehow involved in all this was nonsense and a complete waste of time but it was the thought of seeing Andi again that was working away on his resolve.
She was the woman who broke his heart and he was not sure if he could stand the pain of seeing her again or if he could trust himself to be an adult about it when or if he discovered the reason she dumped him all those years ago. He was surprised how much it still hurt to think about her.
He did not believe Western about any of this because, so far, nothing he told him was true. He made up his mind to do it because he once had strong feelings for Andi and Western was after her son. He was not sure if what he was feeling was love or hate but deep down he knew he needed to find out why she left him.
“I will see her if for no other reason than to eliminate her kid from your shit list.”
“Don’t give me that Doc. You wouldn’t miss this for the world. You are in this until the bitter end because now you have to know if it is true or not. Admit it,” he said.
He looked away from him and grunted his agreement. It was true enough he was hooked on the problem but he was not happy about having it continually pointed out to him. He wanted to know what was going on and if Andi was his connection to continue working on the problem, so be it. He was not happy about working for Western but for now he would go along with the program.
Old Wounds
Andi had always been tall and slender with bright elegant eyes. She was still slim but she moved with a life worn heaviness and her beautiful eyes were flat and lifeless. He suspected it was the result of her life choices. It can’t be easy being a single parent these days, he thought.
He watched her from the corner of his eye as he loitered in the frozen food section glancing over his shoulder as he pretended to shop for frozen lamb pieces. She looked wonderful to his eyes and he feared he had not aged quite as well and he was screwing up the courage to approach her. The mere sight of her made his palms sweat. She did not notice him, she didn’t seem to notice anyone; she was mechanical and absent in her actions as she performed her tasks.
Her hair was short and darker than he remembered, he saw what appeared to be part of a tattoo on her neck above the tan collar of her Ralph’s Food Market smock. That’s new, he thought, but corrected himself, for all he knew the tattoo was many years old. He watched her give another lifeless smile to a customer. He wondered what kind of hell she’d been through in the years since they were together.
How did Andi, who used to be so full of life and eager for knowledge, end up this way? When they hung out together at university and then later, when they saw each other more seriously, she had been a free-spirited girl with a sharp mind and wicked sense of humour. Their time together was mostly wonderful but he remembered how occasionally a shadow would overtake her for a day or two.
When he asked her about it she alluded to, but never explained, some difficult family situation. It was obvious that, whatever it was, it affected her deeply but he, being young and self-absorbed, was incapable of meaningfully probing this area of her life.
His palms had turned cold and clammy standing by the cooler watching her. A sure sign, he thought, that this was going to end badly. On his way to see her, after picking up a rental car and receiving instructions on how to find the store, he tried to convince himself that he was doing this for Andi and her son. He knew it wasn’t true. This was for his benefit alone plain and simple. After all these years he still wanted to know why she rejected him.
Andi’s House
Five hours after his less than convincing acting debut at Ralph’s, he pretended to run into her by chance while in Victoria for a science conference, he was standing beside Andi in her kitchen. She was surprised to see him at the store and distant at first but she took her lunch break early and they talked for thirty minutes in the coffee shop next door. Getting up to return to work she said goodbye but stopped and looking back at him she smiled and invited him to dinner to meet her son Tyler.
The house at the end of Taylor Road was small, peaceful, and homey looking with vines growing over the front porch and a frayed rope swing under an ancient maple tree in the side yard.
There were only two other houses on the quiet semi-rural street and he could imagine her son playing ball hockey on the empty road. It looked like the kind of place a kid could grow up and have a happy secure childhood. As he approached the front door he wondered if Tyler was that happy kid or the unknowing dupe of a sick and angry father.
“I’m glad you stopped to say hi Lee. It’s been a long time,” she said. Andi’s voice was as warm and intimate as he remembered and she looked the same as when they were together and in some ways better. She wore the same French perfume it was light and flowery and when he closed his eyes he was back in Toronto. Dinner was over and they were standing in her kitchen shoulder to shoulder cleaning the dishes like they did in his tiny apartment in Toronto.
“I am too,” he said but he could not bring himself to look at her, he felt guilty about deceiving her. He realized this was likely to end badly but for the moment at least he was enjoying this time together.
They talked non-stop through dinner catching up on each other’s lives and there was a lull in the conversation. The silence made him acutely aware of the growing ache he felt. He needed to say something to take his mind off the memory-pain of losing her and he spoke in a halting voice, “I felt bad that we never-”
He shuddered to a dismal stop as he let the unformed thought fade and die. He was embarrassed because he realized too late that she would probably interpret what he said not as sentimentality but as a pathetic needy plea. If nothing else the words served to lessen the emotional pressure building inside him.
“I know what you mean. It feels the same for me, funny how life goes, eh?”
She spoke in a dreamy distracted way and he was uncertain what she meant. She seemed to be agreeing with him but he had the feeling she was thinking and talking about something completely different. The hopeful surge of emotion he felt met the crevice of despair when he took it to mean she did not feel the same way about him. He saw her looking at him and when the corners of her mouth came up in a wan smile it buoyed his spirit. Her beautiful soulful eyes filled him with fresh imaginings and reset the faltering tempo of his vacant heart. Her smile had the power to make him believe, however briefly, in the possibility of happiness.
He was surprised when he realized how much he still desired her. She had once completed his life; filled it in a manner he never truly understood until she was gone. Silent, standing beside her, he could feel warmth radiating in the space between them, thick with memories of past intimacy. The love he felt for her was the sweetest he had ever known, a bond he never experienced again; though he looked for it in others it was lost to him.
The silence grew between them and felt like they both had more to say but could not bring the words. Andi stepped away to look through a drawer and the moment was gone, the air changed.
“What do you think of Tyler?” she said.
“He is a nice kid. He doesn’t talk much, does he?”
“He’s always been quiet. Boys are less verbal than girls. I seem to recall you telling me that once,” she said and smiled coyly as she turned away.
The memory of that conversation rushed back to him like it had been waiting in the wings to come on stage to remind him of their intimate past. It had been a snow day in the city. Toronto was buried and classes were cancelled. They spent the day lying around his apartment reading, eating, and making love. It was near midnight when she asked if he was mad at her about something.
“No. Why do you ask?” he had said.
“Well you haven’t said anything for over an hour. I thought you were mad at me for something.”
He remembered closing his book, rolling over and tickling her.
“Boys don’t need to talk as much as girls”
he told her.
He found himself blushing at the memory of what they did after the tickling and he wondered, somewhat hopefully, if she had reminded him of that particular night on purpose. She was watching his face and when it turned red she laughed. Hanging the tea towel on the stove door handle she asked if he wanted a beer.
They sat comfortably together as two old friends on the couch in the living room gazing at the fields across the road, listening to jazz on Seattle’s KPLU, and talking about yesterdays.
It was nice recounting histories to each other after all these years and though they both steered clear of the topic of her breaking up with him. She seemed to know a lot of his history but he knew next to nothing about hers except that which Western told him and he wondered now how much of that he could believe. He guessed she had followed his career online, which was not difficult to do in the age of Google. He noticed that what she volunteered of her own history was heavily edited. Nowhere in her narrative did a violent ex-husband make an appearance but he was not surprised by her omission, why would anyone bring up someone like that.
She mostly talked about Tyler and the troubles he was having at school and how he was socially awkward and preferred not to be around people.
“The only real friend he has is Zen the girl who lives next door. She used to babysit him for me,” she said.
The way she said it made him think she was not completely sure what to think of their friendship.
“Is she a lot older than him?” he asked.
“Two years,” she said.
“Are they dating or anything?” he asked.
“Wow. Where have you been, Lee? Kids don’t date anymore they hang out in big groups and take turns randomly hooking up with each other.”
She smiled when she said it but then her face changed again and she looked thoughtful.
“Anyway, it’s not like that. They’re friends anyway I think she is dating someone. It’s only that Ty is kind of ….vulnerable,” she said.
“To the wiles of an older woman?” he said.
“I guess I’m being a mom,” she said.
He was fairly certain that he was not getting her underlying message, there was something in her voice that made him ask.
”What is it?”
“I was thinking about something. Do you remember telling me about your cousin Ryan?”
“Robin,” he corrected.
“You told me about the weird thing he used to do. How he would go to the park and lie on the ground and watch the swings and the merry-go-round for hours at a time,” she said.
“Yeah it was a big deal for him when he was seven or eight, he eventually grew out of it. Now I believe he’s into helicopters and trains. He lives in a group home in Hamilton and the last I heard he was doing well. Why were you thinking of Robin?” he asked.
*
Andi turned her face away from him and looked out the window. The sun was setting over the hay fields across the road and she gazed upon the changing hue of coral without seeing it. She was not sure what she was trying to ask him. Lee had always been a perceptive guy and maybe he would be honest with her if she came out and asked him. The problem was she was afraid, the questions she needed to ask him felt life-altering. Her fear of what his answers might be disturbed her deeply. The truth was she wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer.
“Do you think there is anything-wrong with Tyler?” she said. She did not look at him when she spoke and her voice was soft and filled with emotion.
“Do you mean Robin kind of wrong?” he asked.
She nodded, she couldn’t find the courage to say it out loud in case she started crying.
He was quiet for a moment aware of her anxiety and conscious of her fragile emotional state. He cared about her and wanted to consider his answer carefully before responding. Tyler seemed a typical enough teen but from what she told him it sounded like his teachers were concerned he might be learning disabled. He knew enough about school culture to understand that teachers often speak in coded deniable language when discussing the problems of a student with his parents. He did it himself with some of his college student’s parents.
“Do you think there is something?” he said.
He was probing for her understanding of the situation because it could save him from sticking his foot in it.
“I know there is something different about Ty, but I don’t know what it means,” she said
“He seems normal to me but I’m no expert. Why don’t you have him assessed by a psychologist? If he has some kind of learning issue it is much better to find out what it is and get to work on it and if he doesn’t you can stop worrying about it,” he said.
They sat in silence for a few minutes.
“That makes a lot of sense. I suppose I’ve been afraid to find out.”
She looked sad and upset and without thinking about what he was doing he put his arm around her shoulder. It was a natural gesture of comfort and she seemed to welcome it as she relaxed into his embrace. It was nice to feel how well they fit together. It was a familiar feeling and welcome. It had been some time since either of them had shared any kind of closeness. After a while she put her arms around his waist and they held each other comfortably until Tyler came into the room and turned on the television.
He observed that the boy did not seem to notice he was holding his mother. At first he put it down to a teenage boy trying to be cool but after a while he began to feel uncomfortable with him sitting on the couch acting like they did not exist. The show he was watching drowned out the jazz music they were listening to and he slowly broke their embrace. Andi seemed to emerge from somewhere far away, she had not noticed Tyler come into the room. When she realized he was there she leaned over and ran her hand through his hair. Although it was cut short he quickly moved to smooth it down. It was the kind of thing any mom would do partly out of affection and partly to get a response.
“Tyler did you know that Lee is a scientist?” she said.
“Yes,” he said.
His answer was a surprise to her and not what she had expected. She had tried to engage Tyler in conversation while they ate dinner but he did not say much at all. She was sure they had not mentioned it to him.
“How do you know?” she asked
“He had a paper in the August 2014 edition of Gene Science Review.”
Andi looked surprised then looked at Lee who nodded.
“What did you think of the article?” he asked.
“You were wrong about the gram negative staining but sort of right about the amino acids.”
He looked at Andi and smiled when she made a face and shrugged her shoulders.