Their Heart Search: Bethany & Jordan's Story (Search Series) (17 page)

“When did you come up with all of this?” she questioned.

“Sometime last night, after I found out you forgot to tell me about your birthday.” He smirked.

She laughed, it was such a beautiful sound. He wanted her laughing and smiling all day long. “So, mom told you?”

“She did and my plans are to make you smile all day long.” He looked at her and tears were in her eyes. “No crying, baby. What’s wrong?”

She shook her head, “I can’t help it. I feel like I don’t deserve this from you yet.”

This bothered him. What was it that she didn’t deserve? If anything, it was Jordan that was undeserving.

Bethany

He studied her as she cried. He wasn’t her boyfriend, but that didn’t stop him from treating her like she was his everything. She was crying because she knew by asking for time that she didn’t deserve this.

“What don’t you deserve, beautiful?” he questioned, stroking her cheek. She placed her hand on his and pulled it from her face, but she didn’t release it. Instead, she rested their hands on her lap.

“You. I mean, I’m making you wait. And this…” She waved her free hand for emphasis. “I don’t deserve this. Boyfriends do this for their girlfriends, and I’m not…” He stopped her placing a finger to her lips.

“Stop right there. I can’t hear anymore. I love you, Bethany. I love you so very much. I’m waiting because to me, you’re worth it.” She shook her head. “Stop, you are, baby. You only get one soul-mate and I know you’re mine.” She leaned forward and placed a kiss to his lips. She touched the tip of her tongue to the seam of his lips, but he didn’t part them for her. Instead, he pulled back from the kiss. She felt the disappointment seize her. Her hand moved up his leg, but he quickly stopped her.

“No, we can’t,” he said sternly returning to his plate of food. She felt crushed.

“Why?”

“I told you, Beth, that wasn’t happening again until you had made your choice.” He spoke but he didn’t look at her.

“I just don’t understand why, I guess. You have needs,” she seductively suggested.

He laughed a little, “That is true, baby, but for now, I am taking care of it.” He turned to look at her a smile on his face.

She studied him suddenly worried about his statement. “How?” she asked.

“My hand and I have become best friends these last few months.” He smirked leaning over to kiss her cheek.

She laughed and let out a sigh of relief. “Oh,” was all she could manage.

Jordan

She was smiling again that was all that counted. It didn’t matter that he basically just told her what she was doing to him the last few months. He wouldn’t have sex with again until she confessed her love. It wasn’t to protect his heart it was to protect hers. He knew she didn’t understand this, but he would make her.

“Shall we bake a cake, beautiful?” he asked, standing up with his breakfast plate and walking into the kitchen.

She followed, “That sounds like fun.” The happiness in her voice wasn’t missed. Jordan wanted her happy today. She had let a black cloud hang over her birthday since her twenty-first, not anymore. She was twenty-eight today and from here on out, her birthday would be a day she looked forward to.

Once her dishes were in the sink, he tugged her to face him and put his arms around her waist. He held her at arm’s length so he could look at her. “Bethany, I know you don’t get this, but I want to explain. The no sex isn’t protecting me, it’s protecting you. My heart is gone, baby, I’ll be crushed in six weeks if you walk away, but I would’ve been crushed prior to us having sex.” She stared back at him as he spoke. She didn’t move, she didn’t blink. She listened intensely. “Beth?” he questioned and she blinked ending her trance.

“I still don’t think I get it,” she responded.

“You will. I’ll explain more later. Let’s bake a cake.” She nodded and smiled. That was good that was what he wanted.

Together they started to get the things they needed out in order to bake the cake. “So when do I get my present?” she smirked.

He laughed, “Have a little patience, beautiful.” She laughed back at him. She moved closer to him and he felt her presence right away. She nudged him with her elbow and placed the bowl on the counter.

“I’m having fun,” she whispered, he almost didn’t hear her, but it made him happy to know that she was having fun.

“Good,” he replied simply. Together they laughed and prepared the cake. The smile on her face was brilliant and Jordan found out that she hadn’t had all of his heart like he thought, but the moment they shared baking the cake, she took the rest.

Six weeks, he could make it six weeks, for her, he could make it years. “What are you thinking about?” she asked breaking his thoughts. His hand was no longer stirring the batter. He had been lost in a trance that only Bethany Donald could achieve.

“I was thinking about how much I love your smile,” he answered as he began stirring the cake batter again.

“You got lost on me.” She chuckled.

“Well, beautiful, you have that effect on me.” He leaned over and kissed the top of her head.

She took the bowl from him and poured the batter into the waiting pan. “Can we watch a movie while this bakes and we wait for it to cool?” She asked as the pan was being slid into the oven.

“We can do whatever you want, baby. It’s your day.” Hell, if she wanted to watch a chick flick he would watch it with a smile on his face because if she was happy today and enjoying the day that was all that truly mattered.

They cuddled on the couch, and when the oven dinged, Jordan got up to take the cake out of the oven. “That should be ready to frost soon,” he said, entering the living room again. She smiled up at him as she wiped tears from her eyes. He wasn’t worried this time, he knew it was the movie making her tear up. He shook his head and chuckled as he sat down next her again.

She cuddled close and slapped his arm playfully, “Stop, it’s sad,” she scolded. He laughed harder and pulled her closer to him.

Bethany

While they frosted the cake they messed around having a blast the whole time. She swiped her finger covered with frosting across his cheek. He raised an eyebrow at her, “Oh really now, beautiful?” He laughed grabbing her before she could escape.

He placed frosting on both of her cheeks, the tip of her nose and just below her bottom lip. Her breath caught as he began to run his tongue along her left cheek. “Chocolate, mmmm….my favorite,” he whispered before moving to the right cheek and repeating his actions. He sucked on the tip of her nose removing the frosting he had put there. Her heart raced faster with every move he made.

“Jordan?” she breathed. She didn’t know how much more she could take of this. He remained quiet and moved to the last bit of frosting just below her bottom lip. He kissed her there then ran his tongue along the frosting till it was gone.

“Yum,” he muttered against her lips before closing the gap. He pushed her against the refrigerator. She gasped at his bold move and his tongue entered her mouth. She kissed him back with passion, with all the sexual tension she had been feeling. She ran her hands down his chest and untucked his shirt. Her hands move under it and then up his body. That was when he just stopped everything. He pulled back from their kiss, their most intimate kiss ever. Even more so than the kisses they shared when they first had sex. His eyes were shimmering with emotion, but she couldn’t read him at all. He grabbed her arms and pulled her hands from under his shirt. “I’m sorry, beautiful. I shouldn’t have done that,” he said with sadness, guilt, and a thousand other unsaid emotions. He turned away from her and walked towards his room.

She was left stunned, confused, and heartbroken. What was going on? What was he doing? A loud thud broke her thoughts and she raced down the hall towards his room. “Jordan?” She said as she knocked on the door.

Jordan

The second her hands started running up his chest under his shirt, he knew he had gone too far. He had to get away. He raced to his bedroom and locked himself in despite the fact he saw hurt and confusion in her eyes.

“Stupid fucking moron,” he muttered to himself. Oh how could he have done that? It wouldn’t help him explain the ‘No Sex Policy.’ He slapped his hand against his head.

Sex was a weapon. A weapon that had been wielded against him once before. Something he refused to use against her. He didn’t want sex to be the reason she chose him. Sex was something that had affected her before. Kai Lukas slept with her, asked her to join him as a Dark Night Vampire and then betrayed her. Jordan wanted sex to mean something for them. He needed it to mean something.

“Jordan?” He heard from the other side of the door along with a soft knock. She sounded crushed, defeated, and heartbroken. Fuck! This was not what he wanted out of today. He slammed his fist into the wall to relieve the tension, but it didn’t help. Jordan knew he had to face the music. Jordan knew it was time for the full explanation. Another part of him that Meredith ruined.

He walked to the door and unlocked it. He didn’t open it and hoped she heard the lock click telling her to let herself in. He walked towards the bed and fell onto it face first. He wouldn’t be able to look at her right away, he knew that.

He heard the door open and her steps move towards him. “Are we going to talk about what just happened?” Jordan sighed into his pillow at her question. “What was that noise I heard?”

He lifted his face from the pillow, but stared at the headboard. “I punched the wall,” he answered directly.

“Why? Did I cause that? Because I…” She stopped and he heard the tears in her voice. He couldn’t have her blaming herself for this. It wasn’t her fault it was his.

“No, beautiful. You didn’t cause that. Come sit and let me explain something.” He rolled to his back and put his hands behind his head as she crawled on the bed resting her head on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her and sighed.

“Sex is a weapon,” he said. She glanced up at him with pressing eyes. “Meredith wielded sex against me and Kai used it against you.”

“What are you saying?” she asked lacing her fingers in his hand that was wrapped around her.

“That I always want sex to be special for us. I don’t want you to ever think I used it so when these six weeks were up you would choose me. I want you to choose me because you love me and can’t live without me.” He chuckled a little.

She nodded, “That makes sense. We went too far in the kitchen, didn’t we?”

“No, beautiful. I went too far. I know how strong I am, and I shouldn’t have done what I did.”

She sat up and turned to face him head on. “Please don’t blame yourself. I wasn’t exactly shoving you away.” She winked at him and he laughed lightly.

He sat up and took her hands in his. “I love you, Bethany. Come, I think it’s time to open your present.” She lit up at his words.

Bethany

He led her back to the living room and pointed her towards the couch. She obeyed his silent order and sat down on the couch as he walked over to the breakfast bar where he had left the wrapped present this morning. As he walked back towards her she was giddy with excitement. She hadn’t been this excited for a birthday in a long time.

“Happy birthday, beautiful,” he said as he sat down next her and placed the small wrapped gift box in her lap.

She tore through the wrapping paper like a little kid. He laughed at her enthusiasm. “I’m excited,” she answered his laugh.

“I can see that.” He chuckled. “Now I’m nervous.” She laughed at his statement as she opened the box before her. Inside a beautiful gold and white bracelet with the inscription
‘My Heart Search Ends.’
Placed in between two engraved hearts.

“Flip it over, beautiful,” he spoke breaking her gaze from the bracelet for a moment before doing as he instructed.
‘You have my heart, Jordan.’
She gasped at the beauty of the gift.

“This is amazing, Jordan,” she cried.

“Can I put it on you?” She just nodded at his question and held out her hand so he could fasten the bracelet around her wrist.