Then Came Indecision (Southern Love #2) (19 page)

When she felt it fall to the floor, her logic came back to her. “What are you doing?”

“Getting you in the shower.” He kept his eyes closed then pulled off his shirt. He handed it to her. “Put this on.”

She held it in her weak hands then pulled it on.

“Are you covered?”

“Yeah,” she whispered.

He opened his eyes and pulled her jeans off then removed his own, standing in his boxers. “Let’s get inside.”

“Okay.”

He opened the door and helped her walk in. When the warm water fell on her skin, she felt slightly better. The sound of the cascading water blocked out most of her thoughts.

Blaise gra
bbed the soap and started to rub her skin. Her arms and neck were covered in grime. There was blood under her fingernails and he washed it away. She watched him attend to her, taking care of her when she couldn’t take care of herself.

“I thought you would be angry.”

He squirted shampoo into his hands then rubbed his fingers through her hair, dissolving the dirt and blood. “Why would I be?”

“Because what I did was so stupid and reckless.”

His hands stopped. “You saved two people, Alexandra. I admire you for being so brave. Not many people would have done that. And there was a child. What else could you have done? Of course I’m not mad.”

She sighed. “I thought you would be pissed I risked my life.”

“Well…that does scare the shit out of me. But I try not to think about it. It worked out in the end.”

Alexandra nodded.

“And it only proves your worth, Alexandra. You should be a nurse or a doctor. It’s clearly what you were meant to do.”

She took a deep breath. “When I intubated that baby with a pen, I could have killed it. It was just luck that it worked out.”

Blaise closed his eyes for a moment then reopened them. “No, it wasn’t fucking luck. You know what the hell you’re doing. That’s why it worked out.”

She opened her mouth but he covered it with his palm.

“You kept two people alive at once. I’m sorry, but most people are too incompetent to do that. Why are you letting one incident that wasn’t even your fault ruin your life like this?”

“It’s not that simple…”

“Because you’re making it that way. Alexandra, you’re officially the town hero. People will talk about this for years to come. If that doesn’t convince you of your abilities, I don’t know what ever will.”

Alexandra looked at the drain and saw the dirt and blood flood the bottom. It was starting to fade as the grime was cleaned away. It had a harsh smell, like an old nickel. When she looked back at Blaise, she saw his chest and stomach. It was like looking at a concrete wall.

“What?” he asked.

She looked away. “Nothing.”

He pulled her to his chest and hugged her tightly. “Everything is going to be okay, Alexandra. Everyone is safe, including you.”

Alexandra wrapped her arms around his neck and closed her eyes. That was exactly what she wanted, to feel his protection surround her. His hands moved under her shirt and
rubbed the small muscles of her back. She felt his lips press against her forehead, kissing her gently. Her breathing hitched.

Blaise pulled away and pressed his face close to hers.

Alexandra stared at his lips, seeing them slightly open. The feel of his body next to hers, and the sound of the falling water made her feel warm. Blaise made her feel things she never experienced before. Just the gentle touch of his hand made her skin boil with heat. And she felt safe with him. When he ran into the hospital, she was relieved to see him. His presence blocked out the world, making it grow quiet and beautiful. There was no indecision or confusion. Everything made sense.

Blaise inched closer to her, his eyes glued to her lips. After a moment of staring, he leaned in and sealed his mouth over hers. His kiss was different than it had ever been. It was gentle and loving, conveying his need for her, not his desire. He massaged her lips, kissing them delicately.

Alexandra felt his breath fill her mouth, bringing her back to life. She massaged his with her own, slipping her small tongue inside. Blaise gripped the back of her head, deepening the kiss. Then he moved her against the wall, pressing his body against hers.

Her fingers glided into his hair, feeling the soft strands she loved so much. For a moment, she forgot everything he had done to her, all the lies and excuses. She fell into him, forsaking her fear and depression. Blaise loved her, had always loved her, and he would always take care of her. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, that’s exactly what she wanted and needed.

His hand moved up her shirt and gripped her waist. He never moved higher than that as he pinned her against the wall. She could taste the shower water on her tongue. When she pressed her hands against his chest, she felt the heat under his skin. The water slid down, landing on her shirt and soaking the material. He pulled up her shirt then pressed his hips into her, his erection large and defined. Alexandra wanted to feel more of him but she didn’t make a move.

When she realized how much she loved him, that she wished he was the man she would spe
nd the rest of her life with, it made her shake with grief. She would never have him. There was no trust, no guarantee that everything he said wasn’t a lie. He would just hurt her again then make up another excuse. She had no idea what she was doing, but she was stupid for letting it happen.

She pulled away and turned her face.

“No.” Blaise pressed his advance and sealed his mouth over hers.

Alexandra gave into him again but she pulled herself back together. “No.” She turned away again. Blaise grabbed her and moved in again, but she held him back. “Don’t kiss me again.”

He sighed but didn’t close the gap.

“I—I need to leave.”

“Please stay,” he whispered. “You’re traumatized. Sleep with me. I’ll take care of you.”

“I can’t stay with you. They’ll wonder where I am.”

“
They
?”

She turned off the shower then stepped around him.

“Alexandra.” He followed behind her, their bodies dripping water onto the floor. Blaise hooked his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. “Don’t push me away.”

She pulled his arm off. “I can’t do this anymore, Blaise.”

“Stop denying what you want, Alexandra. You know you can trust me. You wouldn’t be in love with me if you really thought I was a cheater. Trust your instincts.”

Alexandra walked into his bedroom. “Can I have those clothes?”

He sighed. “Please…”

“Then I’ll just wear what I came here in.”

“Fine.” He opened a drawer and handed her shorts and a t-shirt.

She stared at them. “Are you kidding me?”

“What?”

“Are these Danielle’s?”

He glared at her. “No, they’re my mom’s.”

“Oh…” She felt them in her hands. “I can’t take these.”

“Please,” he said. “I have plenty. I haven’t figured out what to do with their stuff. I can’t just sell it.”

“Okay.” She walked into the bathroom and changed. When she came out, she looked at him. “Can you take me to my truck?”

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

He sat on his bed. “I don’t want you to go.”

“Then I’ll walk.”

“Why do you want to leave?”

“I need to get away from you.”

He clenched his fists. “This isn’t fair. I love you and you love me. Let’s just be together and cut all the shit.”

“You were fucking Danielle when you were fucking me!”

His eyes widened. “No, I didn’t. And I never fucked you, Alexandra. I made love to you, gave you my damn soul. That night meant the world to me. How could I possibly be with someone else after? I can’t even jack off because it’s so unfulfilling to me. I want you, just you.”

Alexandra pulled her wet hair behind her shoulder and averted her gaze.

“You obviously want me too.”

“Please take me home.”

He sighed. “Alexandra…”

“I never want to see you again. I mean it.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I’ll still help you, but I won’t look at you. Please don’t look at me.”

Blaise’s eyes brimmed with tears. “Stop hurting me like this.”

“You’re the one causing all the pain.”

He pulled on his clothes then moved to the door. She followed behind him with her arms crossed over her chest. They didn’t speak as they got into truck and drove back to the hospital. Blaise kept his eyes glued to the road and didn’t reach for her hand. Alexandra looked out the window, watching the fields pass by.

When they arrived at her truck, Blaise didn’t look at her. He didn’t move.

“Thanks for the ride.”

He said nothing.

“Bye.”

Blaise didn’t look at her.

Alexandra stared at him for a long time before she got out and closed the door behind her.

Chapter Twenty Two

When Alexandra told Paul everything, he was shocked.

“You pulled them out of a burning van?”

“No,” she said quickly. “It was just smoking.”

“But then it exploded?”

“Yeah.”

His eyes widened. “Wow. Are they okay?”

She nodded. “They’ll both survive.”

Paul stared at his glass of water on the table. He said nothing for several minutes. The restaurant was filled with people. Alexandra kept receiving glances from across the room. She had a strong feeling that people knew she was the one who saved those people.

“Wait,” he said. “Why were you out at three in the morning?”

Her heart raced. “I went to Blaise’s.”

His eyes darkened with pain. He clutched his hands together.

“He just needed to talk. His brother was the one who poisoned his crops and he was depressed about it.”

Paul breathed a sigh of relief. “So, nothing happened?”

“Well…”

The light disappeared from his eyes.

“We kissed.”

His breathing increased slightly. “Does that mean you’re with him now?”

“No,” she said quickly. “I—I still love him. I hate to admit it. When I’m around him, I fall for him. Everytime. But it’s just getting harder to move on. It’s too hard to see him anymore.”

Paul nodded. “Are you sure you don’t want to get back together with him?” He face was stoic but his eyes showed his pain. “Because I’m not going to stop you, Alexandra. Please don’t stay with me because you feel obligated to.”

“
I just don’t trust him.”

“Do you trust me?”

She was quiet. After what Paul did, she thought she would never forgive him. But being around him repaired that broken trust. He seemed sincere in his mistake. And she forgave him for it. And the circumstances were different. “I do.”

“Then what’s the difference between him and I?”

“He won’t admit the truth to me. You’ve never lied to me, Paul.”

He nodded. “So, is that your final answer? It’s never going to happen between you two?”

The idea of not being with Blaise made her heart break. Everything made sense when they were together.  But she had to let him go. “No.”

“Then what does that mean for us?”

“I—I still need more time.”

“That’s fine. I’m not rushing you.”

“Okay…”

He grabbed her hand on the table.

When she looked at him, she saw the adoration and love in his eyes. She was the only person in the room. “I’m so sorry I hurt you, Paul.”

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “I expected there to be bumps in the road.”

“I still hate seeing that look on your face.”

“I knew what I was getting into, Alex. Let it go.”

“Okay.”

He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. “I’m proud of you but pissed at the same time.”

“What?”

“You shouldn’t have gotten inside that car, Alex.”

She sighed. “I know.”

“You could have died.”

“I know, Paul.”

“You should have just waited for
an ambulance.”

“Paul,” she said firmly. “I know. But I couldn’t let them die. I just couldn’t. I knew the risk when I took it.”

He took a deep breath. “I apologize. I’m just being selfish. The idea of losing you makes me insane. I wouldn’t be able to go on if something happened to you.”

“Well, nothing did.”

“Are you ready to return to nursing?”

She looked away. “No…”

He sighed. “Baby, what more evidence do you need?”

“I’ll make a mistake.”

“Yeah, you probably will.” He shrugged. “But you’re human. You do far more good than bad. Think about it that way.”