Read These Days of Ours Online
Authors: Juliet Ashton
‘Works of art are never finished,’ said Kate, in the lofty tone she used for aphorisms. ‘They’re merely abandoned.’
‘Very true. You’re my personal guru. Can you believe that next May you’ll actually be able to walk into a bookshop and buy a novel with my name on it?’ Charlie looked the
way Flo did on rollercoasters, just before she threw up.
‘
Charles Garland
.’ That person was a stranger to Kate; the book was pure Charlie, all the way through.
‘You weren’t here to celebrate the deal.’ Charlie leaned in, his face suddenly enormous. ‘You owe me a big night out.’
The stars had aligned above the last-gasp pitch by Charlie’s disenchanted agent. The twentieth editor to read his manuscript had seen potential in it, renaming it on the spot.
‘
BLOKE
’ ran contrary to all of Charlie’s earnest suggestions, but he had to admit that in shiny black lettering on a plain white cover it was eye catching. After the
publishers named a figure more than he earned in five years of consulting, Charlie would have let them call his book anything at all.
‘And that’s only the beginning,’ his agent claimed. Charlie’s life had gone up a gear overnight. His agent, now his bestest friend in all the world, had danced off to
sell translation rights in over thirty territories and was currently standing by his phone waiting to hear from Sony about a possible movie version. Charlie and Kate had spent happy hours on Skype
casting
BLOKE: THE MOVIE
, and fantasising about Charlie’s Oscar acceptance speech. ‘If you don’t thank me,’ Kate warned, ‘I’ll beat you senseless with
your little gold statuette.’
As Charlie dissolved into fizzy lines, Kate said, ‘You do know that Becca’s only pretending she hasn’t read it to annoy you, don’t you? She thinks it’s brilliant.
She’s sorry now that she nagged you so much about leaving your job to write. She had no idea you were so talented.’
The Charlie on the screen tried not to look chuffed. ‘Does she realise the character of the horrific ex-wife who drowns in a speedboat accident is based on her?’
‘Not. A. Clue.’
‘Typical.’ Charlie sat back in his chair and gazed at his ceiling, so far away in London. ‘I love that woman. Even after all the crap she put me through. There’s nobody
quite like Becca. It’s as if she’s full of love she can’t express and it all comes out sideways. Now I’m getting older I appreciate one-offs, people who really are
themselves
and make no bones about it.’
‘I love her too. It’s a life sentence.’ Charlie had more to forgive than he knew. Kate would never squeal about the double-cross that split them up. Kate held up the top page
from the pile. ‘I bet Anna’s enchanted by this!’
BLOKE
’s dedication read
For Anna, this bloke’s bird.
‘She doesn’t know yet.’
‘Funny that you dedicate your book to her but you won’t give her a key to your flat.’
Hints, many of them heavy enough to break through to the flat below, had been dropped by Anna about taking their relationship to the next level but Charlie had misconstrued them all.
‘Plenty of time for all that. Why get bogged down in domesticity when we’re having so much fun? I want to chase her around in her underwear, not argue about whose turn it is to bleach
the loo.’
‘This is so you, Charlie. You make out it’s just fun and games yet you dedicate your book to her. You’re in love.’ Again.
Charlie falls in love
, thought Kate,
with the same regularity I have a bikini wax.
‘I like being in love.’ Since ‘that’ call from his agent it had been impossible to dent Charlie’s good humour. ‘You like being in love, too, madam. It’s
not just the dodgy connection that’s making your face glow. You look different. You look ten years younger. Still not as young as Anna, but it’s a start. And all because you’re in
love.’
Charlie was the only one who knew. ‘Wish I
felt
ten years younger but yes, OK, you got me, it does feel amazing. I’ve never felt this way.’
Not even about you.
One day Kate would tot up how many of her sentences were finished off in her mind when she spoke to Charlie.
‘When it’s right, you know it.’
‘Like you and Anna?’
‘Naughty. Putting words in my mouth.’
‘What’s that I see behind you? Already spending your loot?’ It had been an age since Charlie had disposable income; the majority of his earnings went straight to Becca and
Flo.
Swivelling so Kate could appreciate every one of the widescreen TV’s fifty glorious inches, Charlie said, ‘Isn’t it great? Now I can watch all the shit programmes I normally
watch, only
huge
.’
‘It makes your flat look tiny.’
Even Charlie’s modest home looked like another, ostentatious planet after seven months at Yulan House. The squashy sofa, the pile rug, the old fireplace with quaint tiled surround, the
framed Picasso print, the nostalgic lava lamp all added up to a busy opulence quite unlike the room Kate sat in.
It was a cell. Bare and clean and neat, her allotted bedroom affected the way Kate thought. When she sat on her iron bed, just wide enough for one and covered with a simple striped cover, Kate
could focus. She had civilised her scampering wayward feelings between these cream walls.
It was easier to differentiate between the important and the trivial in this spartan environment. Answers became obvious, rising out of the fog. At first she’d found the room austere but
now she knew the few items in it like friends. They all had an application and most had the patina of the second-hand and well used. Kate scrunched up her toes on the rag rug the children had made
for her, appreciating its softness all the more for the contrast between it and the ubiquitous blue lino.
Happily isolated, Kate hadn’t missed the constant stream of news and comment the internet had pumped into her brain back in the UK. The important events got through; Jia Tang wanted the
children at Yulan House to grow up as world citizens. For the trivial, Kate relied on Becca, who had told her breathlessly about the leak of nude celebrity photos on the web. That had seemed
inconsequential to Kate, who’d spent the day holding a traumatised, abandoned four year old, but the news of Robin Williams’s death had saddened her.
The world needs its
funnymen.
‘Charlie, can you hear that?’ Kate cocked her head. A song Kate had taught the children about the English alphabet drifted in from a classroom across the courtyard. It sounded like
small bells chiming.
‘Nah. I can only hear the traffic outside my window. How’re you going to cope with noisy old London after all that time down a dirt track in China?’
‘Honestly? I’m not sure.’
The doorbell sounded at Charlie’s end, a murky sound as if underwater. ‘That’ll be Anna. Gotta go. We’re eating at some overpriced hipster shack she heard about on
Twitter.’
‘See you soon IRL.’
The screen died.
From:
[email protected]
Subject:
Wedding snaps
5 Nov 2014 13.32
Jesus it’s cold. I have icicles in me hair. Mary sends her love and says to tell you she’s nearly finished the gloves she’s knitting
for you. She had to start again because she gave you an extra thumb.
I’ve attached more photos of the wedding. Mary says you’ll be sick of them but sure you’re not are you? Mary says I must have sent you a hundred by now
but I counted and it’s only seventy-two. I want you to feel as if you were there even though you weren’t because you considered some kids in China more important than the wedding
day of the woman who endured fourteen hours of labour for you. As you know I don’t mind one little bit that you missed the wedding. In fact I never think about it.
Becca was over yesterday with Flo, who’s nearly as tall as me now. Lovely manners but I wish she’d wear something that wasn’t black now and again. Show
off that pretty face. Becca has found a grand diet and is after losing a whole pound. She looks very different. Poor woman misses you terrible. Says it’s like having her arm cut off. Mary
says at least that way she’d have one less arm to eat biscuits with but Mary can be awful sharp and I’ve told her so.
Becca and Leon are off to THE BAHAMAS if you don’t mind. Another holiday! Me and Mary have just put a deposit on a week in Wales.
Now, listen, don’t shout but me and Mary and Becca want to throw you a little party to say ‘welcome home’. Not on the night you touch down. We’ll
let you get over your lag jet or whatever it’s called. The night after. Nothing fancy, now. Maybe a sausage and a Daniel O’Donnell CD. We’ll save the glitter cannons for your
four oh! You never know, you might even have a fella by then. As my granny used to say, for every old sock there’s an old shoe.
I’ve cleaned your house from top to bottom. I know you didn’t mean it when you turned down my offer. I must say I found a lot of grime in your nooks and
crannies but it looks like a new pin now. I hate to interfere but you’re going to love how I rearranged your furniture.
So, love, we’ll see you in two days! Mary’s making one of her special cakes for the party and we’ll bring round the rest of the wedding
photos.
Lots of love,
your Ma x
P.S. Daddy would be proud of you. I imagine him up there in heaven, looking down and protecting you as you help out with all his Chinese
children.
P.P.S. I also believe he’s forgiven me for being a secret lesbian all these years.
P.P.P.S. That was the first time I’ve ever typed lesbian. Ooh! That was the second!
Kate stood on tiptoe to see her face in the small framed mirror that hung on an awkwardly positioned nail. Her hair, uncut since her arrival, was scooped into a ponytail that
tickled her back.
A pile of underwear awaited its turn to go into the open suitcase, along with some paperbacks, a wash bag and the photograph of Dad she loved so much, the one of him with a young Kate on his lap
and a Chinese teapot in the background. It had sat on her chest of drawers in a smart leather travelling frame for the duration of Kate’s stay at Yulan House.
Whipping a clean tee shirt out of the case, she pulled it over her head and that was her party prep accomplished. Fashion had fallen away, like other irrelevances. The kids found her foreignness
interesting enough without any embellishment. Kate pulled out her make-up bag and peered at its tubs and brushes as if they were relics of a bygone civilisation whose peculiar ways were nothing
like her own.
Ping!
An email arrived.
I bet that’s him
.
It was.
From:
[email protected]
Subject:
You’n’me
5 Nov 2014 8.34
Greetings my little China girl
Here are today’s stats for your delectation:
Weight lost: 3st 3lbs
Days sober: 62
Hours spent pining for you: Countless
I’ve made myself a name badge so you’ll recognise me at Heathrow.
Who
you will ask
is that handsome blond devil? He looks like a younger slimmer
sober version of my darling Angus!
PLUS I smell divine now i.e. not like the floor of a pub. PLUS I’ll carry your cases without wheezing. PLUS I’ll be driving myself there
because I finally opened my ears and listened to a certain lady who kept telling me I had to stop hiding in Astor House. Oh, hang on! There’s another important stat!
Days without ciggies 1
I finally kicked the habit. For my health. And for you. I only want to live longer if I can spend the extra years with Catherine Rose Minelli. A rose by any other name
would smell only half as sweet.
Ax
As Kate lifted her hand to type a response, another email arrived.
From:
[email protected]
Subject:
YIPPEE!
5 Nov 2014 8.50
So much to tell you. SO MUCH. Can’t wait to hear what you think of my new teeth. Cost 8k!! Leon hit the roof. One roast dinner and a good seeing
to and he was fine.
I nipped over this morning and changed your furniture back the way you had it. Your mum made your house look like an old folks’ home. I threw out the pot pourri
she put on every surface and I opened the windows to get rid of that sickly air freshener she sprays everywhere. Tomorrow I’ll pop over and put some essentials in your fridge. Milk. Tea.
Sliced loaf. Tell me if there’s anything specific you want. I suppose you eat your Shredded Wheat with chopsticks now . . .
There’s a big parcel waiting in the hall for you. Can’t make out what it is. The label’s torn. Do you want me to open it and check it’s OK? I
don’t mind. It’s no bother.
Feeling a bit cry-y today. Had to take Flo out to buy her first bra. She’s only 11! Still my little baby! It’s not really a bra just a cropped thing with
straps but she does need it. She went red as a berry every time I said ‘bra’. I started saying it on purpose and she called me ‘Mother’ like she does when she’s
annoyed with me (99% of the time). She’s grown up so much since you went away. God knows how but she’s just like Charlie!!
On that subject your nagging/sound advice got through to me. I apologised. Not only about the way I misled him about Flo but also the way I let it slip out in public.
There were many harsh words but I deserved them so I just listened. That was hard! You’re good at listening but I would get an F in a listening exam. Finally he said he forgave me and it
felt as if I’d lost a stone. Off my brain, if that makes sense. We’re civil now. No, we’re more than that. Charlie and me are cool.
Do you think I’m allowed to be proud of him and his book? Well, I don’t care, I am. Apparently pictures of his gob are going to be on the sides of buses! Flo
is BURSTING with pride about her famous dad. Well, not yet famous but he will be and then I’ll be the ex-wife of Charles Garland who wrote
BLOKE
. I’ll be very positive about
him in interviews, I promise.
Right. I should bugger off and do something useful. Leon’ll be home in a bit. I’m soooooo glad you’ve achieved your dream (and your dad’s dream).
But I’m gladder that you’re coming home because you’re family, Kate, and I need you close.
See you at the party!!!
Oodles of love
B xoxoxoxo
P.S. Don’t forget to pick me up a massive bottle of Coco Mademoiselle in duty free or I’ll wallop you.