It made Kerry feel cold, despite the heater in the car. This had once been home. She’d grown up here, played in some of the fields they were passing, skated on those frozen lakes. They drove past a group of young people walking along the sidewalk, laughing and joking with each other, obviously headed for the church youth center not far away.
Kerry remembered being one of them, pampered and privi-leged, wanting for absolutely nothing. Sure of her place in the world and secure in her family’s solid circle. Lacking only the one thing that Dar, raised without any of her advantages, had been given freely.
Life is so strange, sometimes.
Kerry felt almost lightheaded. She pulled over to the side of the road, stopped, and leaned on the steering wheel as she stared out at the trees.
“Ker?” Dar asked, hesitantly.
“It…um…” Kerry started, then paused. “I think part of the reason why I leaked that dirt on my father was because I was so angry at him.” Her voice was shaking a little, and she appreciated the sudden warmth as Dar laid a hand on her thigh. “I don’t think it had anything to do with wanting to do the right thing. Knowing that, and seeing him in that bed…it’s killing me.”
“Hey.” Dar leaned over the shift console and put an arm across Kerry’s shoulders. “It’s not your fault, Kerry.”
She gazed at Dar. “Isn’t it?”
“Don’t be an idiot.” Dar’s voice was warm, taking the sting out of the words. “Yeah, that was stressful, but your father spent his whole life in politics, Kerry. You think that was the only stress in his life? C’mon, you know better.”
Kerry remained silent.
“Don’t do that to yourself,” Dar said. “He made the choice to do what he did, knowing it might get out. You think keeping that secret wasn’t tough?” One dark brow lifted. “In the long run, lying is harder than truth.” She stroked Kerry’s cheek. “We found that out, didn’t we?”
A memory of the tense months early in their relationship surfaced, when even bringing Dar lunch was looked at with suspicion. “Yeah,” Kerry had to admit. “It was a lot easier once we came out. But this isn’t the same thing, Dar.”
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“Isn’t it?” Dar echoed her earlier statement. “Think about it.”
Kerry exhaled. “Maybe. Guess we’d better get moving.”
Dar rubbed her neck a little. “Want me to drive? That should keep you distracted until we get there.”
Kerry unexpectedly smiled as she put the car back into gear.
“I’m okay.” She put the turn indicator on and watched for passing cars. “But I’ll keep the offer in mind.”
THEY MET ANGIE and her husband on the way into the hospital. Some of the press interest had waned, it seemed, or maybe the weather had deterred them. Snow was falling, and Kerry shivered a little as she joined her sister on the walk to the back entrance. “Hi.”
“Hi.” Angie rubbed her arm. “Hi, Dar. Thanks for coming up.”
Kerry didn’t have to look behind her to see the raised eyebrow. She gave Angie a heartfelt smile and a hug. “Sorry about last night.”
“Richard, this is Dar Roberts, Kerry’s partner,” Angie went on in a determined Midwestern twang. “Dar, this is my husband, Richard.”
Dar mentally gave Angie several more points as she extended her hand. “Nice to meet you.” She met Richard’s wary eyes, on a level with her own, as they shook hands. “Sorry it has to be on this kind of occasion.”
“Ms. Roberts,” Richard said quietly as he released her hand.
“Good to finally meet someone I’ve heard so much about.”
Oo. Talk about your loaded statements.
Dar returned his brief smile. “Likewise.” She turned to Angie. “How’s Andrew?”
Everyone relaxed just a little as Richard turned to open the door to the hospital.
“Growing like a weed,” Angie said. “He’s made up for having such an exciting birthday by being just the sweetest, calmest child.” She waited for her husband and Kerry to enter the hospital, then she turned and lowered her voice. “Dar, I’m really glad you’re here.”
Dar managed a brief smile. “I know I’m not wanted here, but I couldn’t let her go through this alone.” She held the door open for Angie to pass. “Besides, unfriendly family isn’t exactly foreign to me.”
Angie sighed as she walked inside and Dar followed. “I know. I just wish it wasn’t so damned hard. The whole situation’s so lousy, and then on top of it…Oh, crap.”
Dar glanced ahead of them to where Kerry was standing,
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bracketed by two older men. Her body posture was so defensive it brought an immediate response from Dar, who brushed past two vaguely familiar looking women and bore down on Kerry with determined strides.
“Uncle Albert, you don’t have a right to ask me to leave,”
Kerry said firmly. “This is my father—”
“You sure didn’t think of that when you turned against him, did you?” her uncle snapped, his face flushed. “Look, I’m not going to stand here and argue. I’m not going to put up with my brother being mocked by the likes of you, you little traitor. Get your ass out of this hospital before I throw you out.”
Kerry felt a wild rush of anger that was so unexpected, it almost made her lightheaded. “You just try it.” She balled her fists. “You stupid, useless windbag. I haven’t even seen you since I was twelve. Now you show up here like you own the place, like you matter?”
“Might have figured it was you giving someone bullshit,” Dar said.
Kerry’s uncle turned and stared in utter shock.
A cold smile graced Dar’s face. “Aren’t you going to say hello, Al? Or did you forget what I looked like after I fired your ass for the rankest incompetence in the history of business?”
“You son of a—”
“Oh no.” Dar slipped between him and Kerry, very aware of the watching crowd. “I didn’t have a dick then and I don’t now, but let me tell you, Al, you say one more nasty word to Kerrison and you won’t have one either, because I’ll pull it off and beat you to death with it.”
The elevator doors opened into a frozen silence. Dar put out a long arm and blocked them from closing. “Ladies first.” She motioned Kerry and Angie to go on, then joined them in the car, and let the doors close before anyone else could get on.
The sound of Angie pushing the elevator button was loud as they all took a breath at the same time. “Wow.” Angie wiped her brow. “This isn’t a good way to start the day, is it?”
Kerry turned and looked at Dar. “Uh…”
Dar had been staring at the doors, now she turned and exhaled. “Sorry. Temper got the better of me.”
“It’s okay.” Kerry lifted a slightly shaking hand. “Better yours than mine, Dar. I was about to start swinging at him.” Dar slipped an arm around her shoulders, and she leaned gratefully against Dar’s tall form. “Sorry we left Richard down there with them, Ang.”
“He’ll live.” Angie shrugged. “I’m sorry. After the past few days and listening to all the righteous bullshit I’ve had to listen 70
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to, with daddy in here helpless, I’m just…damn it to hell…over it.”
Kerry peeked at her. “Angela, that’s the most curse words I’ve ever heard you use.”
“Yeah, well.” Angie drew in a long breath and let it out. “I’ve been spending time on the Internet, what can I tell you?” The doors opened and she exited, followed by Dar and Kerry. They turned to the right and went to the waiting room of the critical care unit.
Cynthia Stuart was already there, alone. She was sitting in one of the chairs, her hands folded in her lap, her body in an attitude of pained patience. She looked up as they entered. “Oh, Angela…Kerrison…I’m...” Her eyes slipped past them and rested on Dar. “Oh.”
Kerry heard the elevator doors opening behind them, and she figured the entire situation was either going to resolve itself or turn into an undignified free for all more suited to the soccer field than a hospital. “Mother—”
Cynthia stood, brushed past her, and stopped in front of Dar with a serious expression. She held out both hands. “I’m so glad you came.”
It was one of the last things Dar had expected to hear. She clasped Cynthia’s hands in sheer reflex, her battle ready mind scrambling to reassess the startling attitude. “I’m sorry,” she managed to get out. “I really am,” she added in a softer tone.
“As am I,” Cynthia replied. “For many things.”
Loud voices at the doorway made them both turn. Kerry’s uncles entered with Richard and one or two others. They all stopped and stared at Dar, who stared impassively back, her hands still clasped in Cynthia’s.
The tension in the room was shattered when the inner door opened and a tall, good looking man entered, wearing a white lab coat over a set of green surgical scrubs. Everyone’s attention went to him, and he paused, collecting his thoughts before he continued.
Dar released Cynthia’s hands and stepped quietly back to join Kerry, who slipped a hand around her arm as they waited for the doctor to speak.
“Hello, Doctor Bridges,” Cynthia said quietly. “How are things this morning?”
The doctor’s lips tensed a bit in compassion before he put a hand on her shoulder and walked her to a seat. He sat next to her and rested his elbows on his knees as everyone else sat across from them.
“There’s been no change, Mrs. Stuart,” Dr. Bridges told her
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gently. “You know we didn’t expect there to be any; we talked about that yesterday.”
Cynthia Stuart looked very small and very alone. “Yes, I know. But you live your whole life thinking prayer can change things, so you do what you can.” Her eyes searched the doctor’s face. “It seems so odd, with everything we can do these days, that nothing can be done for my husband.”
Dr. Bridges nodded, seeming to accept the gentle rebuke.
“Sometimes we can achieve what appear to be miracles, that’s true. But some things are still beyond us, and restoring energy in a brain where there’s none left is one of those things.”
Not caring who was watching, Dar put an arm around Kerry.
She could feel her lover’s whole body shivering, and she wished there were some way, any way to change the words the doctor was forcing them to hear about her father. Even if she hated the man’s guts.
“There really is no hope, is there?” Kerry asked softly. “Not even one in a million?”
Dr. Bridges hesitated, studying his hands before he looked up and met her eyes. “Ms. Stuart, in my business, I’ve learned never to quote odds. Because human beings have the damnedest way of finding a way around them.”
Kerry blinked. “But?”
The doctor sighed. “But, Ms. Stuart, I know our limitations.
Your father is beyond them.” He patted Cynthia’s hand. “I’m sorry.”
Kerry’s mother nodded numbly.
“I’ll be in my office if you want to see me,” the doctor said to Kerry. He stood up and headed out the way he’d come in.
For a few moments, they were all silent. Then all hell broke loose. Both of Kerry’s uncles stood up and faced her, their voices rising in mindless outrage in counterpoint with too few voices protesting in her defense.
Finally, Cynthia Stuart simply stood up and screamed at the top of her voice, “Silence!” It shocked everyone so much, it achieved its purpose, and silence did, indeed, fall over the waiting room.
Kerry’s uncles were squared off on one side, facing Kerry, Angie, and Dar, with Richard sort of hovering off to one side.
“Cynthia, I won’t have it,” Edgar Stuart said flatly. “My brother is lying in there dying, and I won’t have that little bitch here.” He pointed at Kerry. “She put him here.”
Kerry opened her mouth to respond.
“
No
.” Cynthia almost spat the word out. “Now that’s enough.” She was shaking, but clearly in control. “Is it not bad 72
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enough we’re here for this, without this nonsense? Kerry did not put Roger anywhere.”
“What are you talking about?” Edgar yelled. “You know—”
“Enough!” Cynthia out-yelled him. “Hatred put him in that bed. I won’t have it; I won’t. Now you stop this at once, or I will have you thrown out.”
“Mother.” Kerry put a hesitant hand on her shoulder. “It’s not worth what this is costing. I’ll leave.”
“Please,” her mother turned and whispered, “hasn’t there been enough anger?”
Kerry dropped her eyes and her hand fell from Cynthia’s shoulder.
Dar stepped up behind Kerry and laid a hand on her back in silent support, gazing with quiet impassivity over Kerry’s shoulder at her mother and her uncles.
“Now, let’s all sit down,” Cynthia said shakily, “and have a moment’s peace.”
Someone had to sit first, and Kerry decided it would be her.
She took a seat against the wall as Dar settled next to her, and, reluctantly, everyone else did as well.
God.
Kerry was shaking inside and her head ached again. She was very conscious of Dar’s presence, almost feeling the tension radiating from her silent lover.
“What I want,” Cynthia Stuart had seated herself and was now speaking firmly, staring at the opposite wall, “what I want is for all of us to come together and support each other during this horrible trial.”
“Cyndi,” Edgar broke in.
“Edgar,” she said, “that’s enough.”
Kerry just kept quiet, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. She felt chilled and welcomed the warmth as Dar put an arm across her shoulders, despite the fact that she knew if she looked up, she’d see disgust and loathing in her family’s eyes. It was so hard. She let out a breath and felt like crying.
“Mom’s right.” Angela’s voice broke the silence. “This is hard enough for all of us. Let’s not make it worse.” She reached past Dar and rubbed Kerry’s back. “Fighting gains us nothing.”
The two older men stared at her. “It gains me the satisfaction of knowing I didn’t sit by and let my brother’s memory be sullied by the likes of her,” Edgar spat. “He’d hate her being here, with that…that…”
Dar stood up. “Let’s cut to the facts. Kerry’s father’s in there dying. Kerry wants to be here.” She let the words sink in. “I’m not leaving her here to face that alone, so unless you think you can
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physically remove either one of us, why don’t you just shut up and use your energy for something other than moving the hot air around.”