Things That Go Hump In The Night (55 page)

Chapter 5

I jumped away from the door like it was on fire. I had a horrible, churning feeling in my stomach.

“No,” I whispered.

My heart raced, and my mind wiped itself blank. Somehow, I started running, following the fence at the edge of the property. Eventually, the line met perpendicular to another fence, and I let myself slow to a stop.

I’d never been to this part of the property before. The land was hillier than the part where the main house, guest house, and garage sat. The ground rolled downward and away from me, forming a shallow valley. I could see the cattle grazing in the distance, little brown dots among the green grass.

“Hailey!” someone called.

I turned my head. I recognized Tucker and Kyle’s golf cart immediately, and I jogged myself over to them.

“Out exploring again?” Tucker said.

I put my hands on my hips and tried to catch my breath. “How many times a day do you have to do that?” I asked, nodding at the damaged fence.

“What? This? This is our only job,” Kyle said.

“We mend one fence, they break another. It’s like playing whack-a-mole. All day long,” Tucker added. He wiped his forehead again, but thankfully he didn’t take off his shirt this time. “So how about you, Hailey? Did you come to watch the show?”

“Funny,” I said. I knew he was being sarcastic. The cows were barely moving, and watching them graze promised to be as exciting as watching grass grow. “I was just…”

Just what?
I asked myself.
Just running away from home? Just thinking my abusive boyfriend had finally caught up to me?
I finally realized how crazy that thought was. For all I knew, that letter “Q” could’ve been there the whole time. Hell, the carving was so crude, maybe it wasn’t a carving at all. Maybe it was the wood’s natural state, weathered and chipped away over the years.

I convinced myself to feel better. “I was just out for a walk,” I finally finished.

“Well, don’t over-exert yourself. Save your energy for us,” Tucker said.

I caught his eyes lingering on my form before he glanced away. Suddenly, the air around me felt static and alive. I drew my spine up straight and turned so that my profile faced Tucker.

“I should get back. I have some work to do,” I said, walking away. I could still feel Tucker’s eyes on me.

* * *

That night, Tucker lingered again after everybody left. I’d been catching eyes with him during lunch
and
dinner, which made me spend even more time thinking about him when he wasn’t around. It gave me a fluttery, tight feeling in my stomach, and I didn’t like it.

I still accepted his offer to help with the dishes, though.

“You’d think rich folk like the Hendersons would have a dishwasher,” he bantered.

I handed him a clean, rinsed dish to dry. “Hand-washing gets them cleaner,” I said firmly.

With two people, it took half as much time to get the dishes washed, dried, and put away. Tucker swept while I scrubbed grease off of the stove. He laughed at all the appropriate parts when I described Anita’s anal-retentive attention to detail.

“Man, do I feel lucky now,” he said.

“Why?” I said.

“Because who needs a high-maintenance chef like her when I got someone as sweet as you?”

I froze with my back turned to Tucker. I could tell he was waiting for me to react.

“First of all,” I said, “you don’t ‘got’ me. I’m my own person.”

“I know.”

I turned around to face him.

“What? I can’t say you’re a sweet girl, Hailey? Because you are. Sorry if that offends you.”

“I’m not offended.”

“Then, what are you?”

I thought for a moment. “Tired,” I said. I was tired from working. But I was tired of life, too, and tired of men. I was tired of having to be pretty, nice, and sweet, feeling like I had to get a man’s approval just to justify my existence as a woman. I just wanted to exist, quietly and safely.

Tucker nodded, as if he understood. “I’ll walk you home, then.”

I felt a little bad as we left the kitchen and crossed the property in silence. It wasn’t Tucker’s fault. He didn’t know what I’d been through with Quentin. He was only trying to be friends, and maybe a little more than that. I just wasn’t ready.

I still had to lay low.

“Listen, Hailey,” he said when we finally reached my door. He put his hands on my shoulders, but he wasn’t holding me in place. They were simply resting there, and I chose to let him touch me.

His blue eyes searched mine unblinkingly. His stare unnerved me.

“I know you’re running away from something. And I’m not going to make you tell me what that is. I just want you to know that as long as you’re at Big Sky Ranch and as long as I’m here, you’re safe.”

I wanted to look away, but I couldn’t. I felt the truth of his words weighing down on me. It had been a while since I felt I could trust someone. I could’ve just told him he was being silly, or he had an active imagination. But I didn’t want to. The very least I could do was acknowledge the truth.

“Thank you, Tucker,” I whispered.

He smiled without showing his teeth. “Get to bed,” he said. He leaned in and gave me a whiskery kiss on my cheek, and he turned to leave.

I ran my fingers over the “Q” shaped marking in the doorsill before going inside. I realized Tucker didn’t expect anything from me, and that was a huge relief. I took off my bandana and combed my choppy, shorn hair as I sat down on the edge of the bed.

I was locked in a small guest house, but I wasn’t trapped. I was alone, but I wasn’t in danger. I put my head on the pillow and replayed Tucker’s words to me, letting it lull me to sleep.

As long as you’re at Big Sky Ranch, and as long as I’m here…

I felt safe, and I continued to feel that way into the next morning, when I walked out my front door and saw some fresh bear tracks in the dirt.

Chapter 6

Even though I’d been hired as a cook, I learned a lot about the other facets of ranching life. I found out that Mark was the general manager, overseeing all the little cogs that kept the machine running. There was grazing land that needed maintaining, which involved tractors and mechanics for those tractors. The cattle ate a diet of grains on top of that, and their pens were cleaned out daily. The main house had its own staff of gardeners, painters, and cleaners, and the Henderson nephews, Pete and Dave, came by once a week to go over the books with Mark.

And of course, there were the fences. Sometimes I didn’t see Tucker at all outside of mealtimes and our evening walks home. I quickly understood the necessity of the golf cart as I realized the vast area of Big Sky Ranch. I tried to see if I could walk around the whole edge of the property, and I’d found that it was impossible to do in one day.

Before I knew it, an entire month had passed. July was the hottest month of the summer and the busiest, according to Tucker. Calving season was about to begin, and the following months would be hell for the ranch hands as they worked furiously to prepare for cold weather. The calves had to be birthed, weaned, grazed, and sent to market all during the last good months the land had left before the first winter frost. After that, they would keep the cattle fed with grain stores and wait out the winter season, hoping the ranch wouldn’t go broke in the process.

It was a bewildering and exciting time. Mark let me watch a cow (which he told me was technically a “heifer,” not a cow) give birth to a little brown female calf, and I’d gotten to name it.

“Cinnamon? If you say so,” he said, shaking his head. “Chefs are so predictable.”

I memorized the white star on Cinnamon’s head so I could recognize her from the other calves. She was only the second one born so far, but I knew there were more coming. It was July third, which meant the season had only just begun.

July third also meant it was time for the annual pre-Independence Day bonfire, a ranch hand tradition, and I’d been invited. Bill Henderson gave his entire staff the day off on Independence Day and had a catering company come in to serve a barbeque lunch. Since nobody had to work on July 4
th
, they started the party early on the night of July 3
rd
.

After dinner, I went back to my house to get ready. It had been a long time since I’d actually gotten dolled up, even before my time at the ranch. Quentin had made me stop wearing make-up during the early months of our relationship. I wasn’t even allowed lip balm.

Now, I had an array of drugstore make-up, which I’d bought during my last trip into town. My awkward haircut was finally growing out, and I’d decided not to touch up my roots after all. Most of the dye had washed out. I wasn’t quite blonde yet, but I looked a little more like my old self.

I took off my bandana and brushed out my hair. Then, I applied my make-up. It took a few tries for me to get it right. It was like relearning how to ride a bicycle.

I put a jean jacket over the same outfit I’d worn all day, and I was ready. I knew it wasn’t anything special. I’d simply taken off the bandana and put on some make-up. But when I showed up at the bonfire, you would’ve thought Miss America herself had made an appearance.

Joe stood up. When he took off his hat, I learned for the first time that he was bald, which was probably why he was wearing that hat after dark. “Gee, Miss Cookie, you sure look lovely tonight,” he said in a reverent tone.

I laughed uncomfortably. “Oh, shut up and get me a beer.”

With my beer in hand, I sat down next to Joe on a log by the fire. Some of the guys were roasting sausages on sticks. Oil dripped and popped in the flames, drawing my eye, and I caught Tucker gazing at me from across the fire.

He raised his beer in a silent toast. I returned his gesture and took my first drink.

“Where’s Mark? Shouldn’t he be here?” I asked, glancing around.

“Mark’s always busy. But you’ll see him tomorrow,” a young, black-haired guy I knew as Nelson piped up.

“That’s too bad,” I said. “Did he tell you about the bear?”

“The what now?” Joe said loudly.

“The bear?” I repeated. “I’ve been seeing bear tracks around my house.”

Suddenly, Kyle slapped Tucker hard on the back. “I
told
you I saw a bear!” he said loudly. “Everybody said I was crazy!”

I straightened up in my seat. “You
saw
one?”

“It was about a year ago, but yeah. It was a huge grizzly, walking around like it owned the place. Too bad I was the only one who actually saw it, because nobody believed me.” His mouth twitched humorlessly. “The sun was still out and everything, too.”

I shivered, despite my jacket. I sure wished the sun was out right about now. With the darkness pressing around me, the crackling fire, and all the talk of bears sneaking around unseen, the atmosphere was becoming a little creepy. I finished my beer and gratefully accepted a second.

Someone tossed another log onto the fire, sending sparks dancing toward the sky. I craned my neck, watching them swirl and float into oblivion, and felt a hand close over my shoulder.

“Come with me,” Tucker’s voice whispered in my ear.

Wordlessly, I stood up and let him lead me by the hand toward the shadows. He stopped just outside the fire’s glow and turned around to face me.

“You look beautiful,” he said.

His eyes were glazed, and he seemed a little buzzed. I didn’t blame him; I was, too.

“Thanks,” I said.

“I wanted to talk to you alone.”

I shrugged. “That’s fine with me. What did you want to talk about?”

Tucker stared at me really hard. “Have you ever been in love?”

I took a slow sip of beer, deep in thought. On any other day, that question might have seemed right out of left field, but tonight was different. The stars were out, the fire was blazing, the beer was flowing, and it felt like there was a little magic in the air.

“I thought I was, once,” I said. I sat down on the grass, and Tucker lowered himself next to me. “It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got some time to kill. I’ll listen.”

I smiled at the ground. “I met this guy,” I began. “A couple years back. He was my best friend’s cousin. I fell head over heels for him because he seemed like a real man. He’d spent some time in the army, and he was always opening doors for me, paying my bills, buying me flowers, all that stuff.”

“Sounds like a keeper,” Tucker said.

I chuckled. “Yeah, I thought so, too. Until he changed.”

Tucker was quiet while I took another long pull of beer.

“I found out he had PTSD. He wasn’t diagnosed until a few months into our relationship, and by then…I mean, by then he was just…”

Quentin’s change had happened so slowly, I’d barely even noticed it until I found out he had PTSD. By the time I did, I was in too deep to get out. I thought being in love meant accepting the other person for better or for worse, and he’d taken full advantage of me, the one person who was willing to put up with his mental issues.

“Hailey?” Tucker said softly.

I startled. “Yeah?”

Tucker was staring at me. “Your hands are shaking.”

I glanced down. My beer can rattled around in my anxious fist. I clutched it tight and took another drink to calm myself.

Tucker exhaled loudly. “Hailey, did this guy…did he hurt you?”

“Well, no. Not physically.” He’d gotten close, that night when he tried to chop through the bathroom door, but I didn’t bring that up. “He had a lot of anxiety, and he needed to control everything, including me. First, it started with my clothes. If I wore shorts or a tight shirt or a low-cut top, he wouldn’t talk to me for days. So any time he was around, I made sure to dress modestly. And it just grew from there.”

I could still hear Quentin’s words from the last time I put on make-up.
What do you need to get all dolled up for? You already have a boyfriend. Whose attention are you trying to get?
Back then, I’d thought he was right. I was just looking for attention, so I stopped wearing make-up.

“He wanted me to lose weight,” I continued.

Tucker gasped, which made me chuckle.

“I know, right? I think I—” I paused to swallow the tightness in my throat “—I think that was the hardest part. Being a personal chef who wasn’t allowed to eat
anything
.”

“You were a personal chef in Columbus?” Tucker asked abruptly.

My stomach dropped. “Oh, for like a minute,” I supplied quickly. I flapped my hand dismissively, hoping to brush it off.

“Okay. So what made you stay with him?” Tucker asked.

“Honestly, I don’t remember anymore. Maybe it was the PTSD. He was so great when we started dating. I guess I kind of saw him as someone who was sick, and I was just waiting for him to get better.”

Tucker’s ran his hands over the grass between us, his fingers drifting closer and closer to mine. Eventually, he covered my hand with his and left it there. “Well, sick partner or not, nobody deserves to be abused.”

My arm stiffened up against my side. “He never put his hands on me.”

“That’s physical abuse,” Tucker said. “If this guy tried to control you, manipulate your feelings…that’s mental and emotional abuse. If he called you names, that’s verbal abuse.”

Quentin’s voice echoed once again in my mind.
Whore.

I shivered. For the first time in weeks, I felt Quentin’s presence, like he was hiding in the shadows somewhere, watching.

Tucker squeezed my hand. “How did you get away from him?” he finally asked.

There were a few mouthfuls of beer left, and I chugged it all. “I packed a bag in the middle of the night, and I got on a bus to Montana.” When a few beats of silence passed, I finally felt like the story was over. “Now, if you don’t mind, I would rather never talk about him again.”

“Okay,” Tucker said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. “Can I just say one thing, though?”

“Sure.”

“That man wasn’t a real man at all, Hailey. You know that, right?”

His words finally made me turn my gaze toward him. After thinking about Quentin so much, it was almost a surprise to see Tucker’s friendly, kind face looking back at me. The fire in the distance illuminated only half of his contoured jaw, only one corner of his smiling lips.

“A real man never hurts his woman,” he continued. As if to illustrate his point, he raised his hand and ran it over my arm.

Even though I felt his touch through the thick fabric of my denim jacket, I couldn’t help but shiver as electricity tingled up and down my spine.

I’d spent the past month in the company of rugged, burly men, but it had been a while since I’d been so
close
to one. I could smell the smoke on Tucker’s flannel. I could hear each intake of breath being drawn into his chest. I could see the muscles in his throat constrict.

“I would really like to kiss you, Hailey. Would that be okay?” Tucker said.

Why not?
I thought, and I said so out loud.

Our faces were only inches apart. It didn’t take long for Tucker to lean forward and touch his lips to mine. His stubbled, unshaved chin was rough against my skin, but his mouth was soft and warm. I closed my eyes, plunging all my other senses into the essence of him.

His hand slid slowly under my hair and curled around the back of my neck. He pulled me closer until I could feel his warmth and the teeth behind his lips. Something shifted and awakened deep inside of me, a feeling I wasn’t used to.

Tucker pulled his lips from mine for an instant. By the time I inhaled, he was back for more. His touch was hungrier this time as his fingers tightened on my neck. My lips parted in breathless surprise, and the very tip of his tongue edged inside.

I let myself taste him for only an instant before I pulled away. “Tucker, I’m sorry, I just…I don’t think this is a good idea right now.”

“I understand,” Tucker said, his eyes roaming my face. His thumb traced the edge of my neck just under my earlobe before he pulled his hand away.

I smiled gratefully at him. “Thanks for understanding. And for listening.”

“It’s nothing, Hailey. I’m just glad you feel comfortable enough to tell me.” He tilted his head toward the fire. “Shall we head back?”

“We shall.”

Tucker got up first and dusted off his pants. Then, he reached back for me so he could haul me up. When I got to my feet, he didn’t let me go, and we walked back to the fire holding hands.

It felt perfectly natural.

“Hey, look who made a love connection!” Kyle bellowed when he spotted us coming.

Everybody turned to look. My face warmed as Tucker chastised them for staring at us. We settled down on the exact same log as before, only this time Tucker was sitting next to me. Then, somebody handed us two new beers, Joe pulled out a harmonica, and we continued to party into the night.