Thirty-Six and a Half Motives: Rose Gardner Mystery #9 (Rose Gardner Mystery Series) (4 page)

I
stepped
through Carter’s office door onto the sidewalk and couldn’t help but turn toward the courthouse, which loomed to my left. The knowledge that Mason was so close—that I only had to go in there to see him—tortured me. I’d promised to give him space to work things out, but I had legitimate questions that Carter really hadn’t answered. Wasn’t that reason enough to see him?

I dropped into Merilee’s and ordered pork chops, a salad, and a slice of apple pie to go. The waitress behind the counter gave me a smile as she handed me the bag. “We haven’t seen you and Mr. Deveraux in lately.”

I forced a smile of my own. “He’s been pretty busy.”

“We heard about the shake-up in the courthouse. Mr. Deveraux is exactly what this county needs.”

“Thanks,” I said, taking a step backward. “I think so, too.” I only hoped that he stuck around to help fix the county . . . and that he decided to stay with me, too.

I was confident in my plan up until I reached the outer door to his office, at which point I came to the conclusion that it was a terrible idea. He was going to think I was rushing him. I was about to turn and run—literally—when the door opened and Mason’s assistant, Kaylee, stepped out.

“Rose! I haven’t seen you in a couple of weeks.” She glanced down at the bag in my hand. “Oh, looks like you brought Mr. Deveraux lunch.”

“Yeah . . .” I glanced down at the bag. “He’s probably already eaten.”

“Actually, he hasn’t. I was about to go pick up something for him. He’s in his office if you want to go on in.”

“I don’t want to bother him if he’s in the middle of something important.”

“Don’t be silly.” She laughed, turning around and walking back into the office reception area. “He always wants to see you.”

That used to be true. I wasn’t so sure about this time. “Okay . . .”

I followed her inside, walked over to his partially open office door and stopped at the threshold. He sat at his desk, bent over his computer, a legal pad and a pen next to him, forehead furrowed with concentration. I watched him for several seconds, my heart in my throat, worrying about how he would react to my sudden appearance.

His gaze lifted, and his eyes widened in surprise when he saw me. “Rose.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t call ahead or make an appointment.” It felt weird saying that. Never in the entire time I’d known him had I made an appointment with his assistant.

He closed the lid to his laptop and got to his feet. “Don’t be silly. You don’t have to call ahead.”

“I . . . uh . . .” I lifted the bag of food, still standing in the doorway. “I brought you lunch. I heard how busy you’ve been, and I figured you probably weren’t feeding yourself.” Way to sound like a stalker.

A soft smile spread across his face. “You’ve always kept me well fed.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Somebody has to take care of you.”

But truth be told, taking care of him was what had gotten me into this situation in the first place. Well, it had kept me in it anyway.

“Come in,” he said, but there was a stiffness in his voice, a formality I wasn’t used to hearing. At least not when he was talking to me.

“I actually had a purpose for coming.” I walked into the room and held out the food. “But I figured I’d bring you food, too.”

He set the bag on his desk and removed the large container.

“Pork chops and a salad . . . and a slice of apple pie.”

He glanced at me, his expression guarded. “My favorites.”

“Yeah.”

“Thank you, Rose.”

“You’re welcome.”

He walked over to me, and for a moment I held my breath, hoping he would take me in his arms and kiss me. Wishing he would tell me that he couldn’t live without me and that he wanted to try again. But instead, he shut the door, then gestured to the chairs in front of his desk. “Do you want to take a seat?”

I nodded, the lump rising in my throat again. “Yeah.”

I sat in the chair closest to the window. The blind slats were tilted so Mason could see out but anyone in the building across the street couldn’t see inside. I couldn’t blame him. Neely Kate and I had discovered that Joe’s sister, Kate, had rented the apartment across the street to spy on Mason’s office. The apartment had been all but empty except for a few piles of junk, a pair of binoculars, a wealth of files about Mason, and the kind of gun that means business.

He sat next to me, but I saw him cast a quick glance at the container he’d placed on his desk.

“Mason, I’m not here to talk about you and me. I’m here with legal questions. So if you want to eat while we talk, please feel free.”

He grimaced. “You don’t mind?”

“No. You should eat it while it’s hot.”

He fished the utensils out of the bag and dug into the salad. “Legal questions. Are you in some kind of trouble?”

“No more than usual,” I said with a wry grin.

He looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he took a bite.

“I’m here to see if you have an update on Glenn Stout or on what’s going on with J.R.”

Guilt filled his eyes as he lowered his fork. “I should have called you to fill you in.”

“It’s okay. I understand.”

“No,” he said softly. “I’m not sure you do.” He paused. “I wanted to call you with an update, but I wasn’t sure what to say. I’m still sorting things out.”

“I understand.”

He looked into my eyes. “But you’re still a citizen of the county, not to mention the victim of a crime. It was my job to fill you in on the proceedings.”

My heart sunk, but I had no one to blame but myself.

“Have you found out anything about Glenn Stout?” I asked.

“No. I’ve notified the clerks to call me directly if anyone shows up to pick up the money, but there’s been no sign of him.”

I nodded. “Carter thinks he’ll wait until things die down and then try to collect it unnoticed.”

His jaw tightened. “You’ve been talking to Carter Hale?”

“He was my attorney, Mason,” I said, trying not to get irritated. “I had no idea what was going on, and I needed to ask someone.”

“Joe hasn’t told you?”

“It’s Joe. What do you think he tells me? The information I get from him is the equivalent of him telling me not to worry my pretty little head.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He stood and moved to the back of his room, running a hand over his head. “I should have called you.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” I said, suddenly pissed. “If you didn’t want to talk to me, then you shouldn’t have called.” I got to my feet. “This was a mistake.”

He spun around to face me, but his expression was still guarded.

“Last week I begged you to stay with me, Mason. Well, I won’t do that again. You know I’m sorry. You know I regret deceiving you. I know I have to earn your trust back, but the fact remains that what I did saved both of our lives. More than once.”

Anger sparked in his eyes. “I’m not having this conversation now.”

“Yes, you are,” I said, marching toward him. “Now is the perfect time to have this conversation.” I stopped in front of him, my hands on my hips. “You clearly have something to say to me, so say it.”

He took in a breath and pushed it out, his chest heaving. “Anything I have to say would be redundant. I said it all last week.”

“It’s clearly not out of your system,” I said, waving my hand at him. “You’re still ticked off at me.”

“I’m at work, Rose. This isn’t the time!”

“When did you come in this morning? Seven? Earlier?”

The scowl that wrinkled his forehead told me I’d guessed correctly.

“And how late did you stay last night? Eight? Nine?”

“What does my work schedule have to do with anything? Does this interrogation have a point?” he asked, irritation bleeding through his words.

“The
point
is that your work hours crowd into your personal life, so you can afford to take ten minutes in the middle of the day to talk to me.”

“You think this will only take ten minutes?” he asked in disbelief.

“I don’t know, Mason,” I challenged. “You tell me. I have no idea what you need to say.”

Fury filled his eyes. “I trusted you, Rose! I trusted you to confide in me.”

“I know,” I said, my own anger fading in the face of his.

“And I never suspected for a
single moment
that you would betray me by helping the very man I was trying to put behind bars. Do you have any idea how badly my reputation would be damaged if word got out?”

“I do.”

“You ran off and did God knows what with him and those . . . those criminals, lying to me about where you were and what you were doing while I was oblivious to it all. I feel like a fool, Rose. An utter fool.”

“I know. I’m sorry. But you’re not a fool, Mason. No one would ever accuse you of that.”

“I don’t know if I can forgive you.” He shook his head, releasing a derisive laugh. “But I love you. Despite it all, I still love you. And that makes me not trust myself.”

I understood. I’d spent the past five nights in my empty bed, trying to imagine myself in his shoes. Truth be told, I wouldn’t have believed him if he’d accepted my duplicity as if it meant nothing. But this still hurt like hades.

And I still needed answers.

“Do you think that J.R. will try to hurt me for what I did?”

He gave a tiny shudder, trying to switch gears. “I’m sure Joe told you this much, but he’s being transferred to the county jail today.”

“And you know that doesn’t mean squat.”

He nodded, looking down at his feet.

“So I’m at risk?”

“Yes.”

“You left me alone at the farmhouse knowing someone could come for me at any time?” I asked in disbelief.

“You haven’t been alone, Rose.” His gaze lifted to meet mine, and the regret and sadness there stole my breath. “You’ve had someone watching you since the moment we left the farmhouse last Friday morning.”

“Joe never told me.”

“Joe doesn’t know.”

“Jed?” The blood rushed from my head when he didn’t respond. “I didn’t know, Mason. I swear. I only found out from Carter right before I came over here.”

“You haven’t seen him?”

“No.” I paused. “How did
you
know?”

“I called Malcolm.”

My mouth dropped. “You did
what
?”

“Joe couldn’t get the sheriff’s department to spare a deputy to keep an eye on you. And I don’t trust J.R. Simmons for a minute. Jed was the one who saved you when you were kidnapped. I knew he’d be the best person to watch over you.”

“But you hate Skeeter Malcolm.”

“If I learned one thing last week, it’s that Malcolm will go to great lengths to protect you.” When I started to protest, he said, “Even if I was still out at the farmhouse, I wouldn’t be able to watch over you 24/7, so this is the next best thing.”

“Why would you protect me?”

“I might not be with you right now, but I still love you. Even though I’m angry as hell. Even though I feel utterly betrayed.” He groaned and rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand. “It’s killing me to not be with you, Rose. But I don’t trust you. And without trust, we have nothing.”

I nodded. “I know. And I hope to make it up to you somehow. I want to earn back your trust.”

I wasn’t sure what to do. Leave him alone to wrestle with the pain I’d caused him? Or stay and savor every moment I got with him? But maybe he was right. Maybe this wasn’t the time to force a decision about our future.

“What happens after J.R. gets moved to the county jail?” I asked, purposefully changing the subject.

“The state may move him to their own facility—they’re working on their own case—but for now he’ll stay in the county jail, unless his attorney can get the judge to reconsider granting him bail.”

“Will he?”

Mason sighed. “It’s not outside the realm of possibility.”

The thought sent a shiver down my spine. “Do you think he’ll get out of this?”

“It’ll be hard for him to shake the charges. But stranger things have happened, and there’s no denying J.R. Simmons has a way of making situations turn in his favor.”

“What about Kate and all the files she had on you?”

He paced to the window and lifted one of the wooden slats of the blinds to look across the street. “Joe says he found nothing. I can have you and Neely Kate give statements on what you saw, but I’m not sure that’s in your best interest. Your presence there was legally questionable to say the least, and Kate has moved whatever she had there. We have no way of figuring out where she moved it. It’s a dead end.”

“She knows something, Mason.”

“I agree, but when I went to question her, she denied it all.”

“You went to her?”

He hesitated before turning back to face me. “Yes.”

I wanted to tell him that he should have told me, but I wasn’t so sure that was true. He had always kept county secrets from me—it was a part of the job—and I suspected this fell into the same category.

“Anything else I need to know?” I asked, standing next to the chair.

He studied me for a moment, his gaze softening. “Don’t give up on me, Rose.”

I wanted to ask how long my exile would last, but I didn’t have the courage. Maybe he was just trying to let me down easy. After hearing Violet’s news, I wasn’t sure I could handle more heartbreak.

I made my way to the door and grabbed the knob, but before I could leave, Mason stepped up behind me, his chest pressed to my back, and wrapped his hand over mine.

“Wait,” he said, his voice rough.

I pushed out a breath and closed my eyes, preparing myself for the worst. I considered forcing a vision to find a way out of this agonizing limbo, but I couldn’t make myself do it. I wasn’t ready to face the answer.

“I miss you so much it hurts,” he said, pulling my hand away from the door.

“I miss you, too,” I forced past the lump in my throat.

His hand slid slowly up my arm, then moved down to my waist, lightly skimming my abdomen as he lowered his face to the nape of my neck.

I froze, afraid to move and break the spell.

He slowly turned me around, his eyes full of pain, and it killed me to know I’d been the one to hurt him. That I had been the one to destroy us.