Read This is the Way the World Ends Online
Authors: James Morrow
‘Jesus would do that?’
‘His First Coming was as the Lamb of God, His Second will be as the Lion.’
‘Oh,’ said Aquinas, rolling his eyes into his huge skull. ‘No more questions.’
‘Knows his Bible, doesn’t he?’ said Wengernook.
‘I always liked the Sermon on the Mount,’ said George. ‘Job has some memorable parts too.’
‘I thought you were a Unitarian,’ said Brat,
‘Jesus was ahead of His time,’ said Randstable.
At nine o’clock the next morning, Bonenfant called Wengernook to testify.
‘Well, men, here we go,’ said the assistant defense secretary, nervously saluting his co-defendants.
‘Just remember, history is on our side,’ said Brat. ‘Strength made the Soviets move cautiously.’
‘Watch out for Aquinas’s left hook,’ said Randstable.
Once on the stand, Wengernook pulled cigarettes and matches from his scopas suit. Justice Jefferson gave him permission to light up.
Bonenfant said, ‘The prosecution has introduced several documents authored by you, including an address titled “The Soviet Plan for Nuclear Victory” delivered to the Massachusetts Medical Society. Were the Soviets really planning on victory?’
‘The evidence was overwhelming,’ said Wengernook. He struck a match, missed the cigarette by inches. ‘Their arsenal was geared to a protracted nuclear war, and they also had an extensive civil defense program. By the time I joined the current administration, Russia had fully embraced the ugly concept of a winner.’
‘So America had to configure her own deterrent accordingly?’
‘Not only was mutual assured destruction immoral, it had outlived its usefulness. We needed a policy of damage limitation and force modernization, plus a menu of realistic strategic options. In short, a transition from MAD to MARCH.’
‘Some people were troubled that MARCH necessitated a large increase in warheads.’
‘Under MAD, you could get away with, oh, I don’t know – a couple hundred bombs.’ At last Wengernook made match and cigarette connect. ‘But when your goal is damage limitation, you require a much larger arsenal.’
‘I’m not sure I understand this “damage limitation” business,’ said Justice Wojciechowski.
That makes two of us, George thought. That makes four hundred million of us, his spermatids added.
It took Wengernook most of the morning to clarify the various meanings of damage limitation. ‘So you see, your Honors,’ he concluded, ‘in the awful event that deterrence fails, you want to remove targets selectively. Your missiles must send the right message.’
‘What message is that?’ asked Justice Yoshinobu.
‘ “We’re not trying to annihilate you, we’re trying to save ourselves. That’s why we’re hitting only your silos, bomber fields, submarine pens, and warhead factories.” ’ Wengernook took a prolonged drag on his latest cigarette. ‘Hence, the enemy is inspired to refrain from a massive attack.’
‘So in its early phases such a conflict leads to better communication between the superpowers?’ asked Justice Gioberti.
‘If a war ever started, God forbid, the Soviets would immediately see they had nothing to gain by moving beyond surgical strikes,’ answered Wengernook.
‘They would be deterred from escalating?’
‘Exactly. Their only option would be peace.’
Bonenfant allowed the word
peace
to linger for several beats, then announced that he had no further questions. Justice Jefferson ordered a lunch recess.
‘I’m glad he got immorality in there,’ said Brat.
‘The line about peace was good too,’ said George.
His bullet wound throbbed crazily as he tried to recall Victor Seabird’s testimony. A complicated test ban, is that what the old man had negotiated? And there was something about weaponsgrade material . . .
‘Secretary Wengernook,’ Aquinas began after the break, ‘is it fair to say that the defense of Western Europe lay at the heart of America’s involvement with nuclear weapons?’
‘Given the superiority of the Warsaw Pact’s conventional forces, tactical deployments were essential to NATO’s security.’
‘Some observers believed that the new intermediate-range missiles in Europe forced the Soviets to adopt a policy of launchon-warning.’
‘You must consider the stabilizing aspects of launch-on-warning.’ Wengernook jettisoned his cigarette. ‘When a nation puts her missiles on a so-called “hair trigger,” her military leaders feel much less threatened.’
‘Because they know they won’t lose those forces in a preemptive strike?’
‘Yes.’
‘So they’re less likely to do something foolish?’
‘Right.’
‘Like launching on warning?’
‘Exactly.’
‘Tell the tribunal about no-first-use.’
‘This was the proposed doctrine whereby NATO would never be first to fire nuclear weapons, even in the face of a total defeat by the Warsaw Pact’s tank divisions.’
Aquinas retrieved several items from one of the document piles. ‘Glancing through your writings, I see that you were opposed to a no-first-use pledge.’
‘It would have severely eroded deterrence. I much prefer a policy that says, “NATO will never shoot any nuclear missiles unless attacked.” ’
‘By conventional weapons.’
‘It also had a credibility problem. The whole thing would have gone out the window as soon as the Soviet blitzkrieg began.’
‘Let me get this straight. The problem with no-first-use was that it had just enough credibility to invite a grand scale assault, but not enough credibility to hold up during one?’
‘You should never let the enemy know your intentions.’
‘Is that why in this issue of
Strategic Doctrine Quarterly
, Document 794, you praised President Truman for introducing something called “The Hiroshima Factor”?’
‘Well, Hiroshima certainly gave us an advantage over the Soviets in the ambiguity area,’ said Wengernook, leafing through the document in question. ‘They never knew just
what
we would do.’
‘So by rejecting no-first-use, America could retain its superiority in ambiguity?’
‘I’m trying to give a serious interview here.’
‘Your 1992 commencement address at the Air Force Academy, Document 613, includes the famous remark that, quote, “In a nuclear war our forces must prevail over the Soviets and achieve an early cessation of hostilities on terms favorable to the United States.” Unquote. What does it mean to “prevail” in a nuclear war, Secretary?’
‘It means absorbing a first strike and then retaliating decisively.’
‘How would you characterize a country that has absorbed a first strike?’
‘The industrial base is largely intact, the command structure is functioning, and deterrence has been restored.’
‘What about the civilian population?’
‘A significant percentage has survived.’
‘And a significant percentage hasn’t survived. Is this what you people call “acceptable losses”?’
‘Occasionally we used that term.’
‘Five million people killed, is that acceptable?’
‘Well, we had that twenty million figure staring us in the face.’
‘What twenty million figure?’
‘The casualties Russia suffered in the Second World War.’
‘A troubling sum. You were losing the acceptable losses race.’
Justice Wojciechowski asked, ‘Mr Wengernook, may I assume that no losses were acceptable to you
personally
?’
‘That goes without saying.’ The defendant drew a pair of mirrored sunglasses from his scopas suit and put them on. ‘Acceptable losses is a very abstract concept. It only comes up in strategic discussions.’
‘I hate to be a Monday-morning quarterback,’ said Aquinas, ‘but the United States didn’t “prevail,” did it? Your menu got used up, the Soviets neglected to offer favorable terms, the SPASM was implemented, and the human race disappeared. Now, in light of these events, do you still believe your plans were more moral than mutual assured destruction?’
‘There is a world of ethical difference between offensive warfighting plans and preventive war-fighting plans.’
‘Is that why winning was an ugly concept when the Soviets thought about it and a realistic option when you did?’
‘We had to live in the world as it was, Prosecutor, not as we would have liked it to be.’
Aquinas moved so close to Wengernook that his breath fogged the defendant’s sunglasses. ‘But you
made
the world as it was! Your strategic menu threatened the Soviets from all sides! Your theater forces menaced them! Your Multiprongs taunted them! Your Omegas—!’
‘ “If you would have peace, prepare for war,” ’ Wengernook quoted somberly. ‘Appius Claudius the Blind.’
‘And if you would have war, you
also
prepare for war!’
George had seen this scene before, on movie screens – the prosecutor trying to break down the defendant.
‘I submit that your strategies had the Soviets frightened to death!’ Aquinas persisted. ‘I submit that the best hope they saw was a quick, unexpected decapitation of the American command structure!’
But this was not the movies. This was the post-exchange environment, where everybody is extinct and assistant defense secretaries are as unyielding as Vermont granite.
‘No, you’re wrong,’ said Wengernook wearily. ‘That Soviet Spitball attack was completely unmotivated.’
Aquinas was at the bench, standing before the little frozen missile exhibits. ‘When was this arms race supposed to end, Secretary?’ He kicked the ice arsenal. ‘When?’
‘An unmotivated, naive, pointless, reckless, suicidal attack,’ said Wengernook. ‘Everybody knows that Spitball cruise missiles are not good for first strikes.’
‘When?’ shouted Mother Mary Catherine from the gallery.
‘How many times can you fantasize all these battle plans before wanting to get the whole thing over with?’ Aquinas demanded, kicking missiles. ‘How many times can you go through the door marked
DETERRENCE
before you end up in a concrete bunker turning launch keys?’
Wengernook ripped off his sunglasses and said, ‘To this day, I don’t understand the enemy’s reasoning. Spitballs are
second
-strike weapons. Not
first
-strike –
second
-strike. Is that clear?’
For the next ten minutes Aquinas kicked missiles and shouted rhetorical questions, Wengernook patiently explained why Spitballs were useless in first strikes, Mother Mary Catherine released balloons with
WHEN
? painted on their sides, and Justice Jefferson made halfhearted attempts to restore order. Finally a haggard chief prosecutor announced that he had no further questions.
Back in the booth, Wengernook received warm congratulations and firm handshakes from Brat, Randstable, Overwhite, and Sparrow. He approached George and gave him an amiable slap on the shoulder. ‘This sort of testimony must sound awfully technical to you, huh?’ asked the defense secretary.
‘I didn’t hear you say how many times you could go through the door marked
DETERRENCE
,’ George replied. His tone was more acid than he intended, but it sounded right. ‘The crowd drowned you out.’
‘Defending a country is a damn sight harder than sticking a few words on a tombstone,’ said Wengernook between locked teeth. A
WHEN
? balloon bounced off the booth door. ‘You’re going to testify tomorrow, aren’t you? Just remember, we’re with you one hundred percent.’
In Which Our Hero Learns that One Person on Earth Was Less Guilty than He
George’s spermatids trembled as his advocate left the defense table and walked through the mid-morning darkness. It won’t be that bad, he told them. I merely have to explain that I was not involved with smart warheads, damage limitation, any of it.
Bonenfant said, ‘The defense calls George—’
‘No!’ a familiar voice piped up from the back of the courtroom. ‘The defense calls
me
!’
Theophilus Carter ambled forward stomping on
WHEN
? balloons and carrying a steaming cup of tea. His scopas suit was diamond-patterned like a harlequin’s tights, and its utility belt sagged with daggers and pistols from the costume racks of the Mad Tea Party. ‘I don’t normally arm myself so heavily,’ he explained, sipping tea, ‘but I understand there are war criminals present. Say, shouldn’t somebody ask me to remove my hat?’ He darted a blobby finger toward Justice Jefferson. ‘Aren’t you in charge of that?’
‘I don’t care what you do with your hat, sir,’ she replied, ‘Can anyone tell me who this is?’
‘Dr Theophilus Carter, unadmitted tailor and inventor,’ said Aquinas, rising. ‘We hired him to deliver Document 919 to the defendant Paxton.’
‘Why did you retain the services of such an unbalanced person?’ Justice Jefferson demanded.
‘Oh, I’m
highly
balanced,’ asserted the MAD Hatter. He set the teacup in the brim of his hat and did a pirouette. ‘It’s the strategic forces that are unbalanced.’
‘We were unaware of his condition at the time,’ Aquinas explained.
‘You don’t
really
want this man testifying, do you, Mr Bonenfant?’ asked Justice Jefferson.
‘But I have evidence to give,’ said the Hatter. ‘I can prove that George is innocent.’
Bonenfant uncurled his index finger, aimed it at the client in question, wiggled it. George left the glass booth and joined his advocate in a niche jammed with documents relating to STABLE II.
‘Any reason not to hear what this fellow has to say?’ whispered Bonenfant.
‘He’s a madman,’ said George. ‘Can you put a madman on the stand?’
Swearing in Theophilus Carter was the greatest challenge of the court usher’s career. After fifteen minutes of semantic circumlocution, the job was done.
‘Are you acquainted with the defendant Paxton?’ Bonenfant asked.
‘George and I go back a long way,’ the Hatter replied. ‘I knew him before his secondary spermatocytes were failing to become spermatids. May I give my testimony now?’
‘That’s what you’re doing.’
‘This whole thing would go a lot quicker if I told you what to say. Ask me, “When did you first meet the defendant?” ’