This Little Piggy Went to Murder (28 page)

“I’m not leaving the room until I do.”

“All right. But remember, you asked for it. To be honest, it might feel good to actually tell someone the truth.” She sat up straight, squaring her shoulders as if readying herself for a battle. “About a month ago Amanda came to me. Jack had asked if she would help finance some TV ads he wanted to run. Since she was mortgaged to the hilt with the renovation of her restaurant, she came to me with what she thought was the perfect solution. As you know, I’m the current president of the North Shore Feminist Association. Amanda is the treasurer. It’s a large organization, well over three hundred members. A dozen or so are quite wealthy. Last year alone we took in over one hundred thousand dollars in philanthropic donations. During the past few years the Association has started a rape crisis center and a shelter for battered women, and sponsored several studies on prostitution and sex education in the schools. We’re a very active and committed group of women. In the last six months, our focus has become largely political. Thanks to Amanda, we’re now supporting Jack for Congress.

“You have to understand that the next sixty days will be the most expensive months of the entire campaign. Unfortunately, but predictably, the big money in the state is backing Jack’s Republican opponent. When Jack asked for the money, I know Amanda felt she
had
to do something. That’s why she came to me and asked if we could borrow Association funds to help him with the TV promotion. She said after he’d won — and all the polls do show him way ahead — he’d be in a strong position to pay back campaign debt very quickly. She made it sound like a sure bet — almost like I’d be a traitor to my ideals, as well as to
her
— if I didn’t go along with it. I know Amanda is an old friend of yours. One of the reasons I’m telling you this, is because I think you can understand how persuasive she can be when she wants something. And, as you know, with me she had even more power.”

Sophie knew she was telling the truth. “But if something happens to derail Jack’s campaign, you could both go to jail. I assume you didn’t take a majority vote to authorize use of Association funds.”

Claire made a tiny strangling sound inside her throat. “No.” The word came out low and raspy. She gave herself a moment to regain control. “And now … there’s another complication. Nora found out about my relationship with Amanda. She’s threatening to tell the trustees of the academy that I’m a lesbian. I’ve been running from that all my life, Sophie. But with Amanda it was finally going to be different. We talked about being open with our love. Standing our ground and letting the chips fall where they may. Even having a ceremony after Luther … You have to understand, Amanda wouldn’t think of leaving him when he’s so ill. If circumstances had been different, I believe she would have left him long ago. I’ve never once pressured her. I needed some time myself to think through what I was going to tell the academy. But you can imagine how fast they’ll have me packed and out of there, if they find out this way. Nora wants that file. She threatened to put the worst spin on the information she possibly could unless I persuade Amanda to hand it over. You know the kind of accusations she’s going to make. If I’m gay I’m obviously a child molester. None of the girls would be safe from my marauding eye. Garbage like that. I’ve talked to Amanda, but she absolutely refuses to give in. There’s this sick kind of power struggle going on between her and Nora. Unfortunately, I’m caught in the middle. Christ, I don’t even get it. She can copy the report if she wants. Anything, only
I
don’t want to be her sacrificial lamb. It seems to me that some people are really good at recruiting others into their own personal army. If you’re not constantly acquiescing to their way of seeing things, then you’re a traitor.” She began to wring her hands. “I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m so upset. I love Amanda more than I thought I could ever love anyone. I’ve done all I could to help her. But I won’t see my life ruined because of it. Nothing is worth that!”

Quietly, Amanda reentered the room. Her eyes moved back, and forth between them, taking the measure of what had just been said. “You two seem to be having an interesting discussion. Did I miss something?”

Sophie could feel sparks coming out of her eyes.

“It’s nothing.” Claire put out her cigarette. “What did Luther have to say?”

“He wants me to come into town with his medication. With all the commotion this morning, he forgot to take it.” She walked around behind the couch and stood over Claire, placing both hands on her shoulders. “I’m too upset to drive. I need you to take me.”

“But my morning classes?”

“This is an emergency. Can’t you cancel them just this once?”

Before Claire could answer, Sophie asked, “What about Jack and Nora?”

“They left shortly after the police arrested Luther,” said Amanda. “And Alice left a few minutes ago in the van. She wanted to spend the afternoon at her sister’s.”

“Well,” said Sophie, “why don’t I give you a lift. I thought I might go into town today anyway.” She didn’t think that now was the time to tell Amanda that she and Bram were leaving .

“No, really, that’s all right.” Claire stood and faced Amanda. “Why don’t you get dressed and I’ll go call the school? I’ll meet you by the car in a few minutes.” She dropped the package of cigarettes into her pocket and quietly left the room.

Amanda remained standing behind the couch. “There’s breakfast set out in the dining room if you and Bram get hungry.”

“Bram went fishing with some friends earlier this morning. I’m supposed to meet him later at Castle Rock Tavern for dinner.”

“Is that right? Well, you won’t mind staying by yourself for a little while, will you? I shouldn’t be gone more than an hour or two. We’ll make a pot of tea and have a long talk when I get back.”

Sophie hesitated. She didn’t really want to stay alone in the house, but she couldn’t simply leave without explaining matters to Amanda. Don’t be such a big baby, she told herself. “Fine,” said Sophie, trying to sound chipper. For some reason, the prospect of having tea with Amanda positively set her teeth on edge.

“Something bothering you?” asked Amanda.

“Why, no.” Sophie smiled. “Not a thing.”

Sophie stopped chewing her breakfast sausage and laid down the morning paper. Upstairs, she was sure she heard the sound of a door closing. “Hello?” she called, embarrassed at the timidity in her voice.

No answer.

She waited a moment longer, contemplating what she should do about it. The house was almost too silent for her liking. The quiet only added to her growing sense of apprehension. So what if she was alone? Wardlaw would have fits if he knew, but what could she do about it? She’d promised to wait for Amanda to return and she wasn’t going to break that promise. She owed her that much. Besides, she could take care of herself. Pushing her plate away, she walked briskly into the kitchen and snapped on the radio. That was better. A little human companionship, even if it was only sound waves.

The breakfast she’d just finished was beginning to feel like moldering pudding inside her stomach. She should have stuck to orange juice and a muffin. As George Bernard Shaw used to say, you don’t get tired of muffins, but you don’t find inspiration in them either. Perhaps a stroll out by the shore would help her digestion. It was a windy day, the sky an intense cobalt blue, the temperature in the mid-fifties. Perfect early fall weather by anyone’s standards. She poured herself a mug of coffee and wandered back into the dining room.

Hadn’t she always loved being alone? When she’d first moved to Montana with Norman, before Rudy was born, she couldn’t wait until he left in the morning (bad sign) so she could walk through the huge old farmhouse, listening to every nuance of the quiet, reveling in her newfound freedom. At college there had never been enough space or solitude. The dorms were crowded and everyone ate together at long tables in the dining hall. The rest of the time you were either in class or working. The only real privacy to be found was inside oneof the tiny prayer closets. Roommates often commented on her righteousness. Why, sometimes she’d stay in that prayer closet for hours. Even now she laughed when she thought of it.

Stopping in front of a large window, she leaned her head against the cool glass. Big, puffy clouds sat low an the horizon. The sky was so brilliantly blue, it almost hurt her eyes. What was it everyone called the North Shore? The Norwegian Riviera? If Duluth, with all its charm, and the lake, with all its primitive beauty were transplanted somewhere inside Europe, people would be falling over themselves to get there. As it was, Duluth’s American image was slightly worse than Booger Hollow. She’d never been able to figure that out.

Sipping her coffee, she moved down the long hall to the sunroom doorway. She gave the room a quick perusal. Stacks of files sat neatly on one end of the desk. An ashtray filled with stale cigarette butts rested on a table next to the Queen Anne love seat. Compliments of Nora, no doubt.

She ran her hand lightly along the polished mahogany around the edges of the heavy, antique desk .

“It’s a beautiful piece, isn’t it?”

Sophie jumped at the sound of the voice. Coffee spilled from her mug onto the Oriental rug.

“I’m sorry. Did I frighten you?”

She turned. “No. I mean, yes! I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I parked in the back and used my key in the side door. Where is everyone?”

She backed up a step, resting her hand on the desktop for support. “Alice is at her sister’s house. Amanda and Claire drove into Duluth.”

“And Bram?”

She swallowed hard. “Yes, well, Bram … he went out for a short walk. I expect him back any minute.”

“You seem kind of upset. I suppose it’s Ryan’s death. That was terrible, wasn’t it?”

Sophie nodded.

“And poor Luther. Wouldn’t it be incredible if he really was the murderer? I can’t imagine what would make him do something so hideous, but the police seem convinced he’s guilty. My own personal opinion is, they may be right. Don’t say anything to Amanda. I don’t want her to worry any more than she already does.” Jack entered the room and shut the door behind him.

“What are you doing back. here so soon? I thought you and Nora had left for the day.”

“Nora wanted to do some shopping, so I dropped her off. I happened to run into my sister and Claire coming out of a drugstore downtown. They said you were here all alone. Bram had gone fishing.”

Sophie managed a lame smile. “Well, yes, actually …”

“It’s all right. I startled you. But surely you’re not afraid of
me
? We’re old friends.”

“Of course. I don’t know what you thought, but I wasn’t reacting to you — just to being here all alone. I guess I’m kind of jumpy today.” She hoped that was the truth.

“That’s understandable. Have a seat.”

“What?”

He moved behind the desk and sat down. “I came back specifically to talk to you. Please.” He smiled his usual, easy smile. “I suppose you can stand if you want. I just thought you might be more comfortable sitting.”

“No, I … sure. I’ll sit.” She glanced at the closed door. Why had he done that? No one was even in the house.

“Amanda tells me you found out about the year I spent at the Saltzman Clinic. Since you know that much, I thought you might be interested in hearing the whole story.”

Sophie gripped the coffee mug tightly. “Jack, you have to understand.”

“No, really, it’s all right. I don’t know how you did it, but I’m impressed. I thought I’d covered my tracks better than that. I can trust you, can’t I? I don’t want you to repeat any of this.”

“Of course!”

“Good.” A shaft of sunlight struck the top of his head, turning his curly blond hair into a kind of halo. “Shortly after I got back from Vietnam, I had a breakdown. A lot of guys did — for some, it took a bit longer. But in one way or another, I suppose we all reacted to what we’d seen and done. Luther, Sid, and I were staying at my father’s house at the time. I was trying to convince them to settle in Duluth. I didn’t know what I’d do if they left. We needed each other; no one else understood what it was like over there. Everyone thought that since we still looked the same, we were the same people inside.” He laughed, and then sighed. “For me, it was a terrible transition.

“One evening, I got very drunk. I started some stupid fight with Sid and eventually he and Luther left. Amanda wasn’t living with us at the time. She’d already moved out. And Dad had gone out to walk the dog. I don’t even remember it happening. Dad said I met him at the front gate naked and waving my service revolver. He tried to get it away from me and drag me inside before the neighbors noticed what was happening. London Road isn’t exactly a secluded spot. Somehow — I still don’t see how this is even possible — I shot the dog. He’d been given to me on my fifteenth birthday and I loved him like my life. The next day I was on an airplane to Wisconsin. Dad had a friend at the clinic in Green Dells. Luckily, he had the presence of mind to put a cover story in the paper. Some people we knew were on the same flight so he couldn’t lie about the destination — just the ultimate destination.