Authors: Clare Lydon
“You’re kidding.” Jess’s eyes were wide with surprise.
Kate shook her head, then hiccupped again.
“Well I never.”
More hiccupping. “I know.” Kate paused. “I was actually kinda proud, once I’d got over the embarrassment.”
Jess smiled. “And how has Vicky taken the news?”
Kate shook her head. “She doesn’t know yet, and Mum doesn’t want her to. Vicky still thinks Lawrence is about to run off with Mum’s money and leave us all destitute. If she knew this had happened, she’d think it was all part of his cunning plan.”
“Has your mum got that much money to run off with?” Jess said.
“Exactly.” Kate hiccupped.
Right at that moment, Matt appeared beside them, bearing two slices of cake and a glass of water for Kate.
She hiccupped, before gulping down the offered glass of water in one. She then took a bite of Matt’s cake, chewed and her eyes fluttered shut. When she reopened them, the world had changed, but only for the better.
“Have I told you lately that I love you?” she asked Matt.
He winked at her. “Join the queue. If I’d known the effect of salted caramel cake on women, I’d have started making it years ago.”
21
Friday afternoon, and Meg was in her kitchen eating a banana and having a coffee. The sun was streaming in the large window which had made her and Tanya fall in love with this house in the first place. Meg still recalled the first time they’d sat at the kitchen table planning their future together - kids, cats, the lot. Much time and incident had passed since then, but the one thing that had remained constant was the window and the light it cast on their lives, filling the kitchen with hope, daily.
Sometimes, on afternoons like this in a quiet house with the kitchen tidy and Tanya-less, Meg could even dream that her ex wasn’t here anymore, that she’d moved out and Meg had been able to afford to keep the house herself. In her dreams, Meg had the house and a cat. Tonight, she hoped she’d get the girl.
When she and Tanya did eventually go their separate ways, Meg was going to get a cat, for sure. They’d had one briefly, but then it had disappeared and Meg hadn’t been able to bear the thought of getting another. Today though, there was an unfamiliar cautious optimism flooding her mood. Maybe she would eventually have someone to share the cat with.
She got up to put her banana skin in the tall, metallic bin when she heard the front door slam. Her body immediately tensed up. Whether she would get happy Tanya or sneering Tanya was something she was about to find out. Meg took a sip of her coffee and turned to face the door.
However, it wasn’t Tanya whose face appeared at the kitchen doorway, but rather an attractive brunette with a strong, jutting chin and rolled-up jeans. If this was a burglar, Meg was fairly sure she was one of the most attractive she’d ever seen. Meg had watched enough Crimewatch in her time and the photos never once fitted this description — but then, perhaps hipster lesbian burglars were the new thing.
“Hi!” said the woman. Friendly. Almost flirty. She trailed her eyes up and down Meg’s frame and, clearly pleased with what she saw, smiled more broadly and then winked at Meg. In Meg’s kitchen, in Meg’s house.
“Hi.” Meg put down her coffee and placed a hand on her hip. Despite herself, the wink had impressed Meg. She reminded herself this could be a burglar and stood up straighter. “I’m Meg, I live here.” She paused, sucking on her bottom lip. “You are?”
The woman clapped her hands and let out a peal of laughter. “Right — you don’t know me! I forgot.” She smiled at Meg, who still had an eyebrow raised. Then the woman stepped forward and held out a hand. “Chris — friend of Tanya. She’s told me all about you.”
Meg regarded Chris’s hand, hovering in front of her.
“All good, of course,” Chris continued.
Meg took Chris’s hand and shook it warily. “So you’re still going to have to fill in some blanks for me here.” Meg paused. “Why do you have a key to my house when I have no idea who you are? I’ve met most of Tanya’s friends over the years, but you are new to me.”
“Right.” Chris was nodding emphatically. “Yes, I’m a recent acquisition.” Chris hesitated, went to say something, then seemed to change her mind at the last minute. “We met last weekend at a club. We’re going out again tonight and I work not too far away, so Tanya gave me her key to save me going home.” Chris swung around to show Meg the backpack on her shoulder. “Got my stuff for later.”
Meg narrowed her eyes.
Great
. Tanya was giving out keys to their house to random strangers she’d just met. More things to add to the ever-growing list of Tanya issues.
Meg sighed. “Well, nice to meet you Chris.” Meg walked towards the doorway and brushed her house guest. She caught a waft of cigarettes. “I’m going to get ready for my evening out.” Meg hoped her clipped tone demonstrated to Chris that her intrusion on her evening was not wholly welcome.
“Going anywhere nice?”
Chris clearly wasn’t very good at picking up signals.
“A friend’s birthday.” Meg was already wording the fight she was going to have with Tanya as soon as she got in. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.” Meg gave Chris a weak smile before wearily climbing the stairs and slamming her door. She wanted to scream, but she knew that wouldn’t be a satisfactory course of action for anybody, and would only give the cheery Chris something to tell Tanya later.
Why hadn’t she sorted this out earlier? Taken everyone’s advice? Why was she such a coward when it came to this sort of thing? And to top it all, she’d left her coffee in the kitchen.
“For fuck’s sake,” Meg muttered, before flinging herself face first on the bed like a toddler having a tantrum. Her good mood of earlier had evaporated into thin air, replaced by familiar self-loathing.
***
However, ten minutes later, the self-loathing had turned into anger as Meg heard the front door slam again. Was this Tanya coming home? Or had she had a few keys cut, and their kitchen was now teeming with fresh lesbians?
Meg stood up and eyed herself in the mirror: bloodshot eyes, toothpaste on her T-shirt, dry skin. She needed a shower, fresh clothes, new make-up and a new attitude before she stepped out of the door to meet Kate. However, she was also aware that would only come if she dealt with the problem at hand. She absolutely did not need this headache today. However, she’d put it off far too long already. Meg rubbed her palms up and down her face, saw her mouth twitch in her reflection, then yanked open her door.
Taking the stairs two at a time, she heard voices in the kitchen. Meg strode in, to be met with the sight of Tanya and Chris in a clinch.
Meg was not to be put off. “Tanya, I need to speak to you.”
At Meg’s stern tone, Tanya dropped her hands from their current target and twisted around. She looked at Meg with surprise.
“Now. On our own.” She looked directly at Chris. “If you don’t mind.” It was an order and Chris knew it.
“Not at all,” Chris said, walking past Tanya and then Meg. “I’ll be in the lounge.”
Meg waited until Chris’s footsteps had retreated, shut the kitchen door and scowled at Tanya.
“Is it your time of the month?” Tanya folded her arms across her chest.
“Don’t be smart, I don’t have time for it today.”
Tanya backed into the kitchen table. Surprise registered on her face.
“There’s a lot we need to sort out.
A lot.
” Meg’s mouth twitched. “But first things first — when did you start giving out keys to strangers you’ve just met?”
Tanya’s mouth fell open slightly. “Sorry?”
“Chris? She just walked into the house today when I was having my coffee. A complete stranger who you met this week. I mean, come on Tanya, even you must read the papers. London is full of nutters. You do not give them keys to your house a few days after meeting them.”
In response, Tanya put her index finger to her lips. “She’s only next door,” she said in a heightened stage whisper.
“I don’t care where she is, the point is, she came into our house without you! And I had no idea who she was. She could steal all our stuff, she could kill me…”
“She doesn’t really look like a killer, now does she?”
“How the fuck should I know? And you don’t either. You’ve shagged her what, once, twice, three times?”
“I don’t like to brag.” Tanya smirked. Actually smirked. “And anyway, she’s not a stranger, she’s my girlfriend.”
Meg wanted to punch her. “For today at least.” Meg exhaled. “I’ll cut straight to the point, Romeo. Do not — I repeat,
do not
— give out keys to our house. It’s bad enough you’re traipsing half of lesbian London through here every other day. Do you understand me?” Meg’s face had turned purple as she spoke, her eyes fixed on Tanya.
Tanya held up a hand in defence and nodded. “I hear you, I hear you,” she repeated. “But it just made sense today. She works around here, we’re going out tonight, so I gave her my key. And she’s not a serial killer. Or a thief. I guarantee it.”
Meg closed both her eyes. When she opened them again, Tanya was staring at her, trying to assess her. This outburst was unusual, as Meg normally opted out of conflict. Today, necessity had made her choose her nemesis.
“This situation,” Meg continued, circling the kitchen with her hand, “is going to change. I’m putting the house on the market and we are going to move on with both of our lives.” She gulped in air, her breathing now staggered as she ploughed on. “And in the meantime, you are not going to give out keys to any more strangers. Am I making myself clear?”
Tanya went to say something, stopped, then reassessed. “You have my word — no more giving out keys. Promise.”
Meg let her shoulders drop and relaxed somewhat.
“But as for the other thing — now’s not the right time to sell. Everyone’s saying it. So we should just sit tight and wait for the market to pick up. It’s the sensible thing to do in the long run.”
Meg sat down at the dining table and slumped forward, putting her head in her hands. The voice that came out of her mouth this time wasn’t as strong as it had been. The wind had been knocked out of her, but she was still going. “Sometimes, Tanya, economical sense isn’t the key criteria involved. I’m miserable living here with you, I want to move on with my life. You’ve met someone new and so have I. It’s time. Time to make the move.” She looked Tanya direct in the eye as she spoke.
This time, her ex pulled the chair out opposite and sat down facing her, her lip jutting out slightly. “You’ve met someone?”
Meg nodded slowly. “Early days, but it’s made me see this situation isn’t healthy.” Meg paused, searching Tanya’s eyes for a flicker of understanding. “Surely you’d prefer to be in your own place, too?”
Now it was Tanya’s turn to slump. “Course. But it’s not the right time.”
“It
is
the right time. It is
totally
the right time
.
” Meg’s gaze never wavered.
Tanya shook her head gently. “Selling now would be idiotic — we’ll hardly make any money. The market’s moving — this time next year we could be sitting on a goldmine.”
“Or we could be in exactly the same situation!” Meg shook her head. “I’m not waiting anymore, T. I’m calling the estate agent first thing tomorrow, and then we’re listing it. And then I’m getting a cat.”
“A cat?” Tanya looked confused.
Meg nodded. “Yes, a cat. My own place and a cat. Should have done it months ago.” She got up, scraping back her chair. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date to get ready for.”
Meg enjoyed saying those words to her ex and noting the effect they had on her. Squirming would be the correct term. It seemed that Tanya could give it out, but she wasn’t all that good at being on the receiving end.
She’d better get used to it, though, because Meg was ready to shake things up and get behind the controls of her life — whether Tanya liked it or not.
22
Kate couldn’t spot Meg on a first glance around the room. Bad news. She’d been let in by a girl in a baseball jacket who’d been on her way out, so Kate had no clue who Meg’s friend Nathan was or what he looked like. Considering it was his party, that put her at a slight disadvantage. Whoever he was, though, he was clearly paid well as this flat looked massive by London standards: Kate had already passed a roomy bathroom with a jacuzzi bath, double shower and bidet. Honestly, who had room for a bidet in London?
The lounge was low-lit and held six people. Two large couches stood against the walls, one leather, one fabric, and a coffee table had been pushed to one side to allow for dancing later. There was a bubble machine working overtime, and brightly coloured lights danced on one wall. The music was classic disco.
Kate stood clutching a blue carrier bag filled with bottles of beer, struck by a bout of shyness. To her right, two men with crew cuts were rolling cigarettes; in front of her, a Muscle Mary and a baby dyke were in avid conversation, not noticing her at all.