This Obsession of Mine (Raine Series #5) (9 page)

“NOW LET’S GIVE A WARM WELCOME TO THE NEWEST SPARTAN AND OUR NEW QUARTERBACK….JOOOOOOEEEEEEEYYYYY…GRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEENNNN!”

My jaw fell slack, and I swear I blacked out for a minute. This wasn’t possible. It had to be a different Joey Green, right? It just had to be. I tried to push my way through the throng of people trying to get into the game, but I was having a hard time, between the pushing and the dazed feeling I was having, I felt as though I was being pushed through a dream, and a hazy one at that. I pushed my way towards the field to try and get a better look, but I didn’t have to, to get my answer. I glanced up at the large screen in the middle of the field and there was his gorgeous face staring back at me. Then everything went black.

Joey

Adrenaline rushed through my veins as I came runnin’ out of the tunnel with my helmet held high. This was exactly where I was supposed to be, I could feel it all the way in my bones. This was what was going to get me to the future I have always dreamed of. The light, the fog, the cheerleaders and the fans were all so surreal. I ran up the field while my name was being announced and I stopped as I reached the rest of my teammates. We all threw on our helmets, and made our way to the sidelines. This was is it. This was my time to shine.

Play after play, I could feel my body gettin’ stronger. We were headed into the fourth quarter with a twenty-one point lead, and the excitement of the fact that I was playin’ one of my best games of my career was just icin’ on the cake. I spit out the play to my teammates, ready to get this game over with. As the ball was hiked to me, my hands gripped onto it as though my life depended on it. I cocked my arm back, ready to throw it to Carter, but he was blocked. I ran out to the side, lookin’ for an opening anywhere, but everyone was covered, and I could see the other team comin’ at me, ready to rip my head off if need be. I glanced to my left, and then back to my right, and when I saw that there was still nobody open…I ran.

I ran fast, and just when I thought I couldn’t run any faster, I dug in my heels and pushed myself to the limits. Before I knew it, I was hittin’ the ten, the nine, the eight, the seven, and TOUCHDOWN! I held the ball high in the air and spun around, announcing my score to the entire stadium filled with people. I felt alive, and like nobody could touch me. When I saw the ref’s hands fly in the air signaling that it truly was a touchdown, I threw the ball in the air and jumped on my teammates shoulders as they came rushin’ towards me. I finally felt like this was
my
team. They had finally accepted me, and I proved to them why they should.

When the guys finally set me down, I suddenly had an overwhelming sense of ease fall over me. I wish I could describe the feelin’, but words just couldn’t do it justice. The only other time I had felt this way was when I was with…”Diem!”

“What’s that, bro?”

I shook my head like I hadn’t just said her name out loud, “Nothin’ man. Let’s finish this game!” I slapped Carter’s helmet, and headed towards the sidelines. The entire time I was runnin’ back I was glancin’ around tryin’ to see if I could catch a glimpse of her. I knew in my head that it completely didn’t make sense at all, I mean…she lives in an entirely different country. And why would she even be here in the first place. “Gotta get your head in the game, Jo. HEAD.IN.THE.GAME.” I glanced around one last time to make sure nobody heard my little pep talk to myself, then took my seat on the bench.

The rest of the game went flawlessly, and we came out of it with a strong victory of 35-10. I was ridin’ high. I felt beyond amazing, and it felt good ridin’ that high with all of my teammates. Okay, all but one. Thompson still wasn’t on the Joey Green bandwagon, but that was fine with me. I was here for one reason, and one reason only. As we all went runnin’ off towards the locker room, I noticed an ambulance off to the side, and a small blonde haired girl hunched over with a wool blanket hangin’ over her shoulders, the ones they give you after a fire or if you’re in shock. I could’ve sworn it was her, but this girl looked shorter, frumpier almost, and not at all like I remembered…

Her head slowly came up, her electric blue eyes piercing my very soul, and in that instance, I
knew
it was her. Her hair was quite a bit shorter than what I had remembered, but her beauty was still undeniable. I raised my hand in a wave like motion, but she didn’t return the gesture. I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done to her to make her want to ignore me, especially after all this time, but she was definitely doin’ just that. I tried wavin’ one last time before headin’ into the locker room, but I was still gettin’ shut down.

As soon as my foot entered the locker room, I stripped down, took one of the quickest showers ever, I’m pretty sure I set a world record for it, and then tugged my clothes on as I was runnin’ out. I glanced down the corridor both ways, but the ambulance had since left, and as far as I could see, Diem was nowhere to be found. I ran up the ramp that led to the parking lot, my head flyin’ in a million different directions as I searched for my Cinderella. “Shit!” I threw my gear to the ground, and gave it a nice hefty kick.

“Bro, what did your gear ever do to you?”

“Funny, Carter.” I reached down and gathered up my stuff and started headin’ out to my truck. I still wasn’t sure if I imagined her here or what, but evidently she was gone either way.

“What’s goin’ on with you?”

“I swear I saw the girl I am meant to be with, right here, but then I came out after changin’, and she’s just vanished into thin air.”

“Man, anyone ever tell ya, you sound just like a girl?”

“Ha ha. Seriously bro, she’s somethin’ you’ve never seen before. She’s got these gorgeous blue eyes that I can get lost in for hours, and her hair, it’s like sunshine. Well, not anymore…it used to be.”

“Is it short now? Sits just a little bit past her shoulders, hanging just above her perky-“

I smacked Carter across the chest, “Bro, don’t talk about her like that.”

“Owe, number one, and number two…I’m pretty sure she’s sittin’ against your truck. Good luck, bro. See ya at practice Monday.”

“Yeah…see ya.” I muttered as I aimlessly walked in her direction. When I approached my truck she made no inclination to move. She just stood there, takin’ up home against my driver’s side door with that sexy as hell smirk plastered on her beautiful face. “What are you doin’ here?” I knew it was the dumbest thing I could ever say, but I was literally at a loss for words.

“I could ask you the same thing.” She chimed.

Man how I had missed that sweet little accent of hers. “I like your hair.” Really, that’s all I had? “I mean, you look…amazing.”

“Thanks, love. You don’t look so bad yourself. Although you are a bit sweaty. Good game.”

“You watched?” I tossed my gear into the back of my truck, and began fiddling with my keys as I stood in front of the only woman I ever wanted in my arms again, but knowin’ that I couldn’t.

“Of course. Once I heard your name announced, I had a little passing out incident, but they got me squared away.”

I took a step towards her, “Oh my god, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” She held her hands up and I knew to stay back. “I miss you, Jo.” Her voice came out just above a whisper, but I still heard every word.

“I’m sorry, Diem, about everything. I wish I could go back and change it all, but I can’t.”

“Does she live out here with you?”

I could tell she didn’t really want to know the answer, but she deserved to know the truth. “No. She knows I’m out here, but she’s also givin’ me space to do my own thing, surprisingly.” We both laughed, and it finally felt like old times with her again. “Look, I would love to take you to get a cup of coffee or somethin’, if you have time.”

“I actually have to be going now. I’m out in San Francisco, and it takes a bit to get back.”

“You got in? That’s awesome, Diem. I’m so happy for you. I know how much goin’ to the university there meant to you. Well, I’ll let ya get goin’ then. It was really nice to see you again.” I stood back and waited for her to move so I could get in my truck, but she hadn’t budged an inch.

“I’m free tomorrow though.”

“Excuse me?” I was suddenly confused.

“For coffee. If the offer is still good to take me?”

My head snapped up in shock, “Yeah…yes, of course I do. How about we meet at Bay Brew in downtown San Fran, say around eleven?”

“I look forward to it, Jo. See you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow then.”

We both smiled at each other and I’m pretty sure anyone in the vicinity could feel the electricity between us. It was like no time at all had passed. She felt like home, and the minute she walked back into my life, I knew that there was no way I was lettin’ her go. If that meant that we only got to be friends who got to meet up for coffee once in a blue moon, well then I would take it. Because at this point, I didn’t just want her in my life, I
needed
her in my life.

Diem

I wasn’t going to stay, I really wasn’t, but that look in his eyes got me every time. It was a look I hadn’t seen in a bit, but something deep inside of me came alive whenever I saw it. I don’t know how I stayed away from him for so long. It wasn’t my choice to do so, and I wish I could’ve told him why I had to leave, but why would he believe me? She was his wife, well legally she was his wife, and a crazy one at that, but I wasn’t trying to get in between the two of them regardless of their crazy situation.

So here I was, getting ready to grab coffee with a guy that may not even feel for me the way he did before. A man that I couldn’t imagine not having in my life for a second longer. At this point I was willing to take whatever I could get with Joey. I was just hoping that one day, he would pick me. Sure Alex and I had grown a bit closer since our drunken night, but I couldn’t see a future with him, or anyone for that matter.

I glanced in the mirror one last time before gathering my things and heading towards the door. “Troy, I’ll see ya in a bit.” I ran out the door and straight to my car as fast as I could before she could start in on her inquisition. There were things I needed to feel out before I answered any of her inane questions.

I pulled up to the coffee shop about a good twenty minutes before eleven. I knew once I got here I was going to need a minute to collect myself, and make sure I was ready for all of this. I was staring at myself in the mirror giving myself an internal pep talk, when I saw him. He was walking towards the coffee shop with his hands in his pockets, making his muscles bulge right out of his sweatshirt. I could feel my face begin to flush as he turned and looked in my direction. I knew it was too late to pretend I didn’t see him, so I closed my eyes, took in a long deep breath, and opened the car door.

It was the beginning of October, and I couldn’t believe how cold it already was. I wrapped my scarf around my neck a second time, and hugged my overcoat tight against my body. My hair whipped across my face as the wind picked up, and I walked a bit faster just to get into the warm indoors. I was only a few feet away from Joey when my boot hit a rock beneath me. I felt myself tumbling forward but there was no way I could catch myself in time because my arms were busy keeping me warm. Just as my face neared the ground, Joey’s strong capable arms reached out and swooped me right up into them. I was afraid to open my eyes once Joey was cradling me in his arms, so effortlessly I might add. But when I finally did, I got caught up in those mesmerizing blue eyes.

“Are you okay?” his voice was shaking with concern.

“Yeah…yes. Having a slight case of déjà vu, but other than that, I’m fine.”

“Oh good. I was so afraid I wasn’t goin’ to get to you in time. You look like you’re hurt, are you?”

“No.” I laughed, “But you can put me down now.”

“Oh, sorry.” He smiled.

He slowly lowered me to the ground cautiously. I wasn’t sure if he thought I would break if he let go of me completely, but he still hadn’t removed his hand from the small of my back. He guided me down the small pathway that led to the coffee shop, and even opened the door. As he pulled the door back a gust of warm air hit me in the face, instantly warming me, and the strong aroma of coffee had me feeling like I was home. We ordered our coffee, and took a seat in a booth in the far corner. I wasn’t sure if it was planned this way or not, but it was nice and quiet, so I wasn’t about to whinge about it.

“So…”

I could tell he was a bit nervous, so I took it upon myself to start the conversation. “How are you?” Okay, so maybe I was a bit nervous too.

“I’m good. I’m actually really good. How are you?”

“Good.” We both tried to look anywhere else but at each other, and it was just getting awkward now. “So…”

Joey let out a loud sigh, “Is this weird for you too?”

I sighed in relief, “Yes. I was hoping it wasn’t just me. Why is it so weird between us?” We both let out a more comfortable laugh, and then we fell right back into our comfortable banter. “So why are you in California?”

“Honestly, I just had to get away from home. So much has been goin’ on, and I know this is goin’ to sound lame, but I figured the closer I was to San Francisco, the more likely I would be to get picked up by the Niners.”

“That doesn’t sound lame at all, Jo. That sounds passionate.” I smiled. “How is your brother doing? Glenn, right?”

“Yeah, you remembered. He’s doin’ great. Him and the guys are leavin’ on tour overseas next week actually. I’m just glad that Cami lives so close to Kayla so they can keep each other company.”

“That sounds exciting. Where is their first stop?”

Joey smirked, and I knew there was somethin’ he really wanted to tell me. “They’re actually stoppin’ in London first. About a month ago, I actually thought about throwin’ in the towel on the whole football thing, and leavin’ with them to find you.”

“Why would you do that? I mean giving up your dream?”

“Because my dream is nothin’ if I don’t have you to share it with.” He reached for my hand across the table, but I had to force myself to pull mine back.

“Jo.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know we can’t be together. Although I still don’t understand why.”

“Jo, you’re,” I leaned in close so no one else could hear me, “you’re married, and trust me when I say, there is no way that twit is letting you go any time soon.”

“Wait.” He leaned in, “What does that mean?”

“Nothing Jo. Just forget it.”

“No, no
nothing Jo
, I want to talk about it. What happened the day you left, Diem? Because the girl I had spent the night with before, didn’t seem like a girl ready or willin’ to just up and leave me. I thought we were goin’ to be together? Or was that just a lie?”

“No, of course it wasn’t. I did want to be with you Jo, more than anything. Unfortunately, your
wife
made it very clear that if I didn’t leave, she would make sure your future was spent elsewhere. I’m sorry. I wish I was a stronger person, but I know when to walk away from a fight I will never win.”

Joey hung his head in his hands, pushing his hair back roughly, and that’s when I knew he was angry. It was his only tell. “I can’t believe Tanya would do this to me. Actually wait, I take that back, of course she would do this to me. I’m sorry, Diem, for everything. But I wish you would’ve just told me then.”

I slid my hand across the table, pulling his into mine and he instantly began to calm down. “I was gutted to have to leave you, Jo. I went home, and I was a complete mess. My father was starting to worry when I didn’t come out of my flat for almost two weeks. It crushed me to have to leave you, but look at what all you’ve accomplished since then. You’re a star quarterback, and you get to do what you love to do every week. I’m very proud of you, Jo. I always knew you could do it.”

“That means a lot to me, Diem. God, I can’t believe it’s been so long since we’ve seen each other. I’ve missed this.” He pointed between the two of us, and I instantly pulled my hand back and sipped on my latte. “Did I say somethin’ wrong?”

“No Joey, it’s not you.”

“Are you seein’ someone else? God, I’m such an idiot. I didn’t even ask. Of course you’re with someone. Girls like you don’t stay on the market this long. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cau-“

“JOEY! Stop, I’m not with anybody else. I just don’t think we should jump back into what we were before. Nothing has changed in your life, and everything has changed in mine. Can’t we just start over?”

“Absolutely, I would love nothin’ more.” He reached out for my hand again, but I didn’t give it to him this time.

“As friends.” I gave him a half-hearted smile as I spoke, knowing that he wasn’t going to be too happy with my idea.

“Friends? I don’t even know how to do that, but if that’s the only way I can have you in my life, then yes, I would love to be your friend.”

Time flew by as we sat in that back booth just catching up. He told me all about how Glenn offered to help him, and how Kayla and him finally found a way to be friends, and how as much as he tried, he thought about me every day. I just sat there, listening to his voice and watching his lips move. My how I had missed him. His laugh, his jokes, the way he would twiddle his thumbs when he was thinking, everything. There wasn’t a single thing about him that I didn’t absolutely adore, and I knew in that very instant that this whole “
being friends
” thing was definitely a bad idea on my part. There was no way I could just be friends with the only man that I could imagine myself with for the rest of my life. This was definitely going to be a difficult friendship to say the least.

I glanced down at my phone to see what time it was and realized that we had been here for over three hours. As much as I loved being with Joey, I had a ton of homework to get done and a paper that was due on Thursday that I hadn’t even started. “Jo, I hate to leave, but I have so much homework to get done, and a paper that won’t write itself.” I reached into my purse to help pay for the extra coffee we ordered and the coffee cake, but Jo was already setting money down on the table and standing in front of me with his hand out.

“What? Friends help friends out of booths too.” He smiled.

“Thanks, Jo.”

I tugged my overcoat tight around me and looped my scarf around my neck to brave the blistering cold before opening the door. As soon as we made it outside, Jo stopped, and turned my body to face his. My stomach started to do flips, and it felt like a million butterflies were fluttering around in it. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to grab onto the sides of my face, gently pulling mine closer to his, and then let his lips crash down onto mine. I could feel the heat coming off of is mouth as I imagined it, but then he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me, pulling me out of my daydream and back into this shit of a reality. Stupid idea, D. Stupid idea.

“It was amazing to get to hang out with you, Diem. I’ve missed you. We should get together again soon.”

His tone of voice was off, and he sounded quite robotic, but I brushed it off. “Okay, yeah sounds good. Have a good week, Jo.”

“You too, D. Talk to you soon.”

I stood there like daft fool with my hand up, waving goodbye to him as he sped away. What the hell was wrong with me? I guess I would just see how the next little bit went, and if there needed to be changes, I’m quite sure he would be willing to go along with those changes. Only now, I wasn’t sure I was ready for all of this. Joey meant too much to me to just be friends with, and there was absolutely no way I could ever see him go out with another girl. Maybe this whole friends thing was a really bad idea. Maybe I should’ve just walked away that night.