This Raging Light (21 page)

Thanks to my mother for dragging me kicking and screaming and angry as all getout into this raw, passionate, open, free-thinking, crazy, unbridled, gifted, radical, and breathtaking community at the age of fourteen. Taos, you are my heart, my heart, my heartbeat. Chef Frederick Muller of El Meze Restaurant, thanks for allowing me the use of your name and likeness. You're a genius. Kitchen-style thanks also to everyone at Taos Pizza Out Back for dealing with my squeals when the book news came through, and for jumping up and down with me.

I would be nowhere at all without Vermont College of Fine Arts and its hallowed Hogwarty halls. Everyone from the administration to each of its wise and generous faculty members has given me a home and a writing family to be proud of. Special thanks to Sharon Darrow, who took me in; April Lurie, who encouraged me to dig deeper; A.M. Jenkins, who taught me to identify an emotional lie on the page and consequently in my body and consequently in my life; Martine Leavitt, who taught me that when there is nothing, you aren't a ninny, you bootstrap and build; and to Susan Fletcher, who caught the little things and who is one of the kindest women I know.

To my unofficial mentor Matt de la Peña: I will never forget reading
I Will Save You
and thinking, “I want to do THAT.” And then you became my friend, which totally proves my point that magic lives. Laura Ruby, the best first reader EVER: that was a lucky playdate, and if I believed in coincidence—well, but I don't. MAGIC IFs: you're the coolest new best family of friends. Love you. YAM!

Many thanks to my Folio family, and to Emily van Beek in particular. Emily, you are not only the most wondrous agent ever, you are a stellar boss, and a dear friend. You were not afraid of leaping with me, and for that, I am yours for life. I also owe a great debt of gratitude to Molly Jaffa for her work on the foreign front. And thank you to every foreign territory that fought for me and made this novel even more of a dream come true. To Elizabeth Bewley, my fantastic editor, and everyone at HMH, thank you for taking a chance on me and for being wonderful every day since. I knew as soon as I opened your letter that you were the one.

I am infinitely, infinitely grateful to every single person who picks up this novel, to every person who makes reading important, who finds the exploration of other worlds worthy of their time, and who shares that time with me.

My gorgeous children, Lilu and Bodhi, my reasons for breathing, thank you for your patience, your love, your hugs, and just for being. This is for you.

Finally (sigh), Chris who is not my brother Chris, I told you I didn't know how to write you a song, so I wrote this instead. Like you and Cormac McCarthy said, beauty and loss are one.

But beauty trumps.

Love.

E
STELLE
L
AURE
is a Vonnegut worshiper who believes in love, magic, and the power of facing hard truths. She has a BA in theater arts and an MFA from Vermont College of Fine Arts in writing for children and young adults. She lives in Taos, New Mexico, with her two children.
This Raging Light
, her debut novel, will be translated widely around the world.