"
I didn't. Spencer did. The seventy-two point headline was
hard to miss."
"
I'm not engaged to Grace."
"
The picture looked pretty cozy," she said, stepping across
the porch to face him, hands on her hips.
"
It's situational. It can't accurately represent our
conversation, our feelings."
She laughed snidely. "A
picture paints a thousand words, Burke."
He exhaled slowly, frustrated,
feeling as if any explanation he offered would sound like trite
justification. Yet, he had to tell her the truth. How could he tell
her how he felt if she believed he and Grace were in love?
"
We were saying good-bye. I kissed her on the
forehead."
"
You don't have to answer to me, Burke. If you are in love
with Grace and plan on marrying her, that's your
business."
He tossed up his hands.
The edge in his voice sharpened his words. "I'm not in love with
her, Belle. We're not engaged. We're not getting
married."
She fell against the front
of the house and stared at the floor. The hem of her jeans and the
soles of her boots were caked in mud from the days work. "So, what
are you then? Why the romantic picture on the beach?" She fired the
questions in rapid succession.
With calculated, metered
words Burke recounted the evening for Belle. He explained the
surprise reunion on the Dubois show, their long talk on the beach
by her home and their good-bye conversation. He ended with, "We
both agree we're not meant to be together. We are friends, nothing
more, nothing less."
"
She seemed mighty sweet on you at the reunion."
Burke nodded. "We dated,
Belle. I won't lie about that, but we never talked
marriage."
"
So, just like that, it's over between you?" She challenged
him with her tone and a single glance of her eyes.
"
It's been a long time coming. But yes, we're over. We spent
the summer praying, seeking the Lord about our relationship. My
career change and move to Haskell forced us to look at where we
were going."
"
So, that's it. The couple of all Hollywood couples is
over?"
He took a step toward her.
"Just like that."
"
I hope you find someone," she said, unemotional, looking at
him with a cool gaze.
"
I have found someone."
"
Really?" The last syllable faded away and she swallowed
hard.
"
You."
She blew a long breath. He
could see her trembling. "No, Burke. Not me. I've been down that
road once. I'm not going there again."
"
You think I'm going to give up that easy?" He took another
step toward her.
"
This isn't a contest."
He hesitated, wondering
how far he should push her. He went for the bottom line truth. "I
never stopped loving you. Through all the years, all the miles, all
my experience, you were always at the core of my heart."
Her eyes reddened as the
truth of his words hit her. "You sure have a funny way of showing
it, Benning."
"
I know. I'm a knucklehead. Give me a chance to make it
right."
She shook her head,
chewing on her bottom lip. "No, I can't. I won't risk my heart with
you again."
"
I won't leave you this time."
She gaped at him and
snapped, "Did you plan on leaving me the first time?"
"
You know I didn't," he answered, emphatic.
"
But you did. How can I trust you not to do it again?" She
walked to the edge of the porch and looked out over the field where
wild flowers still bloomed.
The aroma of rain came on the
slight breeze and, for a split second, Burke caught the subtle
fragrance of Belle. It made his pulse quicken.
But a stern determination
lit her eyes when she faced him again. "There won't be a 'this
time'. Watching you on the Dubois show made me realize we are a
world apart. Then the picture of you with Grace confirmed in me
that we could not go back to being naïve twenty-one year olds who
believed that if we loved each other nothing else in life mattered.
You left me because our rose-colored world required more than blind
love."
"
I left because I got scared, because I listened to my head
instead of my heart."
"
Okay, so you got scared. But since then, you've become a
world-class athlete. A celebrity. And a famous, beautiful actress
captured a piece of your heart, if only for a moment. You can't
just throw all that away and return to a simple, small town kind of
existence we have in Haskell."
"
I don't want to forget where I've been. But I don't want to
forget where I came from either. Both worlds are a part of who I
am, now."
"
But I'm part of the past, part of who you were, not who you
are."
Burke reached for her hand
and walked her to the porch swing. When they sat down, he started.
"I remember a balmy spring day in third grade when I raced onto the
playground with my buddies, my Christmas football tucked under my
arm. We were choosing teams when I noticed a pretty, brown-haired
girl with skinny legs and pigtails struggling to get going on the
swings."
She turned away from him.
"I was there, remember?"
He continued as if she
hadn't interrupted him. "Suddenly, I became torn between my
friends, the game, and my desire to help you. You captured my
nine-year-old heart that day. Just as Bobby Jacobs kicked off, I
made the most unusual decision."
She laughed softly. "You
left the game."
"
Yes, to be with you."
"
That swing set had me so frustrated. All the seats were
either too low or too high."
Burke chuckled, thinking
back to the old playground. "I never made it back to the game. I
got teased mercilessly for helping you, but I never regretted my
decision." He gently touched her chin with his fingers and turned
her face toward him. "You know, I believe I've left the game for
you again."
"
Not for me. For you, for the Lord."
"
And for you, Belle. You're part of why He brought me
home."
She got up and walked to
the porch rail. Rain clouds gathered in the distance, and a cool
breeze danced through the trees and whistled under the eves. "Why
me?"
He started slowly, careful
of his words, not willing to overwhelm her with the deep intent of
his heart. "To give us a second chance," he said
casually.
"
During the summer I thought maybe I still loved you. I
wondered if you could love me again." She stopped and shook her
head. "But now, I know we can never go back to what we once had.
Let's just call it healed and done with, Burke. We'll greet each
other at church and around town and get on with our
lives."
He stood beside her,
gazing down into her fabulous face. "I won't get very far in life
without you."
The porch light suddenly
flicked on, and Duke stuck his head out the door. "Well, there ya
are Belle. I was a wonderin'. Burke, how're you?"
"
I'm good, Duke, thanks. How's that leg healing?"
"
Got my cast off day before yesterday, but I'm still a bit
sore and hobblin' around."
"
You be sure to take it easy and let that leg
heal."
Duke tipped his head in
appreciation. "Will do," he looked at Belle, "I got dinner ready.
You kids' hungry?" He glanced between them.
"
I'll be right there, Daddy."
"
Burke, come on in and join us."
He looked at Belle who
stood stiffly with her arms crossed and her eyes fixed forward. "No
thanks, Duke. Another time."
"
Anytime, son." He left quickly, leaving the door slightly
ajar.
"
I'd better get inside," she said.
"
Can I call you later?"
"
It's a free country."
He reached for her. "Can I
call you later?" he asked again, searching her eyes for an answer
her lips might not express.
She leaned away from him,
pulling against his hold. In one brisk sentence she said, "Do what
you want."
"
All right, Belle, is that it?" Russell Martin asked as he
dumped the last bag of feed into her truck.
She stood on the boardwalk
in front of the Martin Feed Store and scanned her list in the
October day's fading light. Long angles of light streamed across
the faded boards and the pointed toes of her boots. The breeze blew
across her face with a sharp chill. "That'll do it, Russ," she
said, sliding the white slip of paper into her hip
pocket.
"
Put in on your account?"
"
Please," she said.
"
Will do. You see the game last night?" Russ said, leaning
on the side of the truck, a toothy smile on his face. "My boy's
starting defensive tackle."
Belle nodded, pleased. "I
heard."
"
I ain't seen you at any of the games."
"
Been busy." She searched her jacket pockets for her truck
keys.
"
Burke's doin' a fine job with those boys. Gonna be state
champions, or my name ain't Russell Martin."
"
Takes a lot to be state champions." Belle answered by rote,
still concentrating on the search for her keys. She checked inside
the truck.
"
Yer keys are inside on the counter," Russell said between
sentences about the football team.
She looked over at him.
His round face sported a wide, toothy grin. "Thanks,
Russell."
He followed her inside, rambling
on about the Haymakers and their fine new coach.
She spotted her keys on the
counter, just like Russell said. He walked behind the register and
leaned on the counter, still talking. Belle paused by the door and
tried to listen.
She appreciated Russell's
enthusiasm for the hometown team, but she found his high-pitched
voice and fast-talking manner distracting. Her mind wandered as he
prattled.
Everywhere she went, people
wanted to talk about Burke and the winning Haymakers. She rejoiced
over his success, yet she fought to keep herself from being drawn
into the town's excitement over him. Since their front porch
conversation, she'd seen little of him. He called every other
night, gently affirming his affection for her and his desire to
pursue a relationship. She did her best to keep the conversation
airy and brief, avoiding connotations of intimacy. She kept the
longing of her heart locked away and secret. Only the Lord saw and
understood what she could not express to her friends, not even her
dad.
She strummed her guitar, letting
her feelings and thoughts intertwine, declaring her desires to the
Lord in prayerful songs. In those times, the gentle and peaceful
presence of the Lord filled her soul and reassured her of His love.
She sensed no direction from the Him concerning Burke, yet a
curiosity flitted through her soul, wondering about His plans for
her. Did they include Burke?
An image of him popped into her
mind as Russell talked. Last Sunday she caught a glimpse of him as
he left the sanctuary, handsome and smart looking in his dark,
tailored suit. The tranquil, confident, tenderhearted look on his
face and the depth behind his eyes captivated her. During the week,
she found it hard not to think of him. She anticipated his evening
calls and let their conversation linger longer than normal.
Belle forced the picture from
her mind and checked into Russell's story. She leaned against the
doorframe, crossing her legs and arms, idly jingling her keys.
"
Russ Jr. found the hole and went right for the quarterback.
Sacked 'im before he could draw back for the pass."
"
Good for R.J."
"
I tell ya--"
The screen door snapped
open, and Dean Benning walked in with Burke. "Evening, Russ," Dean
said.
Belle straightened with a jolt.
Burke stopped walking when he saw her. Their eyes locked in a
private moment, unspoken feelings passing between them.
"
Ev'nin', Dean. Ev'nin', Coach," Russell said, coming around
from behind the counter, his voice spiked with excitement. He shook
Burke's hand aggressively.
Belle glanced away, breaking the
intimate connection with him.
Russell asked, "What can I
do for you boys?"
"
Need a few supplies," Dean said, slapping a hand on
Russell's shoulder and steering him away from his
brother.