Read Thistle and Twigg Online

Authors: Mary Saums

Thistle and Twigg (6 page)

We finished off the bullets she’d brought. I didn’t hit anything else. Jane knocked off what was left.

“Now that is what I call a good time!” I said. “I could definitely get into this. I’m going to take my can home with me as a souvenir. You know, for my table.”

We walked together toward the boulders. Jane pointed out that those flat rocks went on out gradually to the bluffs over the river.

“Look,” she said pointing way up to the sky. “Look at the wingspan. An eagle or a large hawk, do you think?” She fiddled around with a pair of binoculars she’d brought. “I’ve been looking forward to studying the local bird populations.”

Good grief, I thought, she’s a koo-koo birdwatcher, too. I reckon that goes hand in hand with tree hugging.

I squinted up at the sky. “That’s no eagle,” I said. “That’s just one of those ugly turkey buzzards. Nothing special.”

While the bird circled and headed out over the big bluffs, Jane shielded her eyes with her hand to watch him. Meanwhile, I stepped behind the boulders.

Grass grew in scrubby bunches right behind the rocks and then got higher, three or four inches, and thicker toward the edge of the bluffs.

I saw my beer can. I knew it was mine because it was on the end and had a picture of a red dog on it. When I reached down to pick it up, I saw something else in the grass.

“Somebody has lost a coat,” I said, looking down on the dark green and brown fabric in a camouflage pattern. I stood up straight as Jane walked up behind me.

We had both stepped closer to the coat when Jane screamed like a wild hyena right in my ear. When I saw what Jane saw, I stayed cool and tried to calm her down. Thank goodness I was there with her, or I don’t know what she’d have done, as upset as she was. I couldn’t really blame her because it sure was a horrible sight.

The coat still had a man in it. A dead one.

nine
Jane Calls the Cops

P
hoebe screamed bloody murder, waving her arms in the air and pulling at her hair as she hopped frantically from one tiptoe to the other, wailing and crying uncontrollably for several minutes. I made her sit on a boulder a good distance away from the body and out of sight of it. I encouraged her to breathe deeply. I spoke soothingly but I doubt she heard a word due to her loud sobbing.

“Did we do that?” Phoebe said, once she gained control of herself. Her voice quivered when she spoke. She clapped her hands tightly over her mouth so her words were muted, as were her hiccoughs. I felt terrible for her. I wouldn’t have thought it possible for her skin to be any whiter than it was normally, but all color had absolutely drained from her face.

I’d seen quite a few dead bodies in my day an unpleasant aspect of the part-time work I did a number of years earlier, never thinking that doing so could be seen as an advantage. I was clearly better prepared than Phoebe for the sight. When I went back for another look, she insisted on coming as well.

Blood stained the man’s back. We could see a hole of darker red, almost black, in the center. I bent down to feel his neck, then his wrist.

“No, dear. We didn’t do it. He’s quite cold.”

“For heaven sakes, Jane, how can you touch him?” Phoebe said, as she jumped again, her hands fluttering like birds’ wings in front of her face. “I wonder who he is.”

I lay my hand on his shoulder to raise him up enough for Phoebe to possibly identify the poor man.

“Don’t do it again!”

“I thought you wanted to know who he is. Was.”

“Not that bad. I don’t recognize him anyway.”

“Right. I’ll call the police then.”


We
will. I’m not staying here with the—the—him.”

We went to Cal’s house first, in case he had returned, to let him know what happened. It was then that the significance of his parked green truck occurred to me. Either he didn’t go out of town as planned, or he’d caught a ride. Or he was still home. When he didn’t answer the door, Phoebe and I hurried to my house to use the phone.

Both of Tullulah’s police cars came within five minutes. The officers asked that we wait by the road for Detective Waters. Phoebe reacquainted herself with each officer. She appeared to have known them since they were children, and verified each man’s personal histories, tracing their lineages through mothers, aunts, grandfathers, and distant cousins with whom she was, of course, familiar. Not many minutes later, a white unmarked police car arrived. A tall gentleman in a navy jacket, red patterned tie, and khaki trousers got out of the car and came toward us. The officers followed, all noticeably nervous in his presence. The detective took no notice of any of them.

The stonelike set of his large, rough features and his shiny, solid black eyes invited no pleasantries. It was a face intent on one purpose. From the moment he left his vehicle, he did only two things. He made one sweep across his field of vision, taking everything and everyone in, then he locked his sights on Phoebe as he strode directly to her side. His impassive expression transformed instantly into a friendly smile, in the space of a snap of a finger, when Phoebe saw him.

They spoke at once. “Miz Twigg. You all right?” He placed his big hands on her shoulders. Phoebe brought her own hands down from her face and said, “Daniel, son, I’m so glad you’re here. It was the awfulest thing but I’m okay now.” His head bobbed as he spoke reassuring words. Then he turned his attention to me.

“Miz Thistle?”

“Yes. Jane Thistle. How do you do?” I said. “I’m the one who called.”

“Detective Dan Waters, ma’am,” he said as he shook my hand. “You told the dispatcher you found a body?”

“Yes. Not far from here.” I pointed toward the road leading into Cal’s land.

He nodded, still holding onto my hand, still looking directly into my eyes. When he said nothing more, I felt compelled to continue. I gave him a brief account of our ordeal in a few sentences. He nodded again when I finished. “Thank you. If you don’t mind, I’d like you ladies to walk with me a little ways.”

I had no objections and Phoebe, though still a bit rattled, had calmed considerably since Detective Waters’ arrival. When we all passed Cal’s gate and his “Keep Out” signs on the way to the body, the detective said, “You were on Prewitt land?”

“Yes,” I said. “With permission. He said we could use the firing range this morning. Phoebe and I had done so when we saw him.”

“Saw Cal?”

“No, sorry. The deceased person.”

“Cal wasn’t with you?”

“No. Just the two of us.”

“And have you seen Cal this morning, ladies?”

“No,” Phoebe and I said together.

At the boulders, Detective Waters stood looking in all directions, turning slowly as he surveyed the area. He squatted next to the still form and reached into his own jacket pocket. He took out a pair of rubber gloves, pulled them on, and lifted the deceased’s shoulder a few inches, just where I had put my hand earlier. To my surprise, Phoebe edged forward as close as she could to the body to see. Her squeamishness had turned into fascination.

The poor man looked very young, in his early twenties, I’d say. I realized the green and brown coat was one a hunter might wear. I shocked myself when the idea that Cal might have shot him for poaching popped into my mind. I didn’t believe it for a moment and dismissed the thought. Cal had shown himself to be a careful shot thus far.

Detective Waters stood and spoke to his men. “Everyone, stay alert. Keep in mind where we are. Cal is usually armed, usually drinking, maybe pointing a shotgun at us right now. Let’s be careful. See if you can find him and bring him to me, would you please.”

The flat tone of his words sent a chill down me. I felt sure Cal wouldn’t have killed someone, accidentally or otherwise. Of course, since he was one of the very few people I’d met in Tullulah, I wondered if perhaps I’d assumed too much in thinking he would be innocent. It was, after all, unlikely for anyone other than himself to be on the property. But then, why was this young man here?

“The house is that way,” Detective Waters continued. Two officers headed in the direction indicated. “The rest of you spread out. To the edge of the woods and back here first, please.” Detective Waters turned us. “So you haven’t seen him today?”

“Nope,” Phoebe said. “Not hide nor hair.”

I hesitated. “No.” I didn’t like to talk about him. I don’t know why. I understood that from the authorities’ point of view, Cal would certainly be the first to question since the body was on his land. I felt terrible for him. Hearing Cal talk on the porch may have brought out a motherly instinct, perhaps too much of one.

The policemen’s instinct however would surely be to track, question, and possibly arrest him. To their minds, it might seem a quick and easy case. He had a history of shooting at trespassers, he was alone and seemingly poor. At least from the looks of things, he had no money. Phoebe’s story of hidden gold and money could be partially true. Certainly it would fit in with his quirky personality.

The radio on Detective Waters’ belt squawked. “Go ahead,” he said into the tiny black box.

“Sir, the house is empty.”

“Ten-four,” Detective Waters said and held the radio a moment. “Begin your perimeter search from the house.”

“Ten-four,” the radio squawked.

An uncomfortable silence followed between us. Detective Waters again scanned the area from where we stood. I had the distinct feeling he was purposely avoiding eye contact with me. He stepped away from the body and walked in a circle around the practicing range.

He came to a stop behind the boulders and looked out over the bluff where Cal and I had stood the day before. The wind ruffled his dark hair as he surveyed the valley below. He didn’t move for some minutes. When he did, he turned slowly, his eyes seeking mine. I saw many questions in them until his blank, intent stare changed abruptly to a fake smile, all in an instant, like the slam of a closing door.

The look chilled me, for in it I saw that he suspected Cal of this murder. I had no more evidence than the detective did to go on, yet I was certain that Cal did not do it.

ten
Phoebe Disagrees

T
here was absolutely no doubt in my mind—Cal did it. Why Jane was so soft on him without hardly knowing him, I couldn’t understand. Even if he was liquored up, as usual, and shot the poor man without knowing who he was, that still wouldn’t excuse him for not calling the cops. If he didn’t have a phone, he could’ve used Jane’s. And where was he at anyway?

I didn’t recognize the dead guy. I don’t think he was from around here. Of course, a lot of young people have moved to town in the last several years, what with the new plant opening up in Russellville, so I don’t know everybody like I used to.

Tullulah’s not that big—one high school, probably between seventy or eighty churches, and no shopping malls. Anything we can’t get on the square, we go into either Russellville or the Shoals to get what we need. Time was when I knew all the kids from either seeing them at church or at work at the public library, which I retired from five years ago. But now, a whole new crop of people are here, not connected to anybody, so it wasn’t much of a surprise I didn’t know that young man we found dead on the ground.

Anyway it was highly likely Cal did it. You add two plus two and you get Cal in a heap of trouble. The fact he was nowhere to be found was mighty telling.

The cops made us leave the scene of the crime. They took all of Jane’s guns for testing and promised to return them if they were cleared. Like they wouldn’t be. That handsome Daniel Waters was no fool, so we didn’t have anything to worry about.

“Ladies, we appreciate your help,” he said. “What I’d like for you to do is wait for me in Miz Thistle’s house. You’ll be more comfortable there. I’ll be by as soon as I can. I hate to inconvenience you, but I’m sure I’ll have important questions, and I really do need your help.”

He has always been so polite, even as a little boy when I had him in my Sunday school class. The Waters were poor as poor could be and didn’t have nothing to wear but rags, but they were always clean, and those children were brought up to be respectful and polite. I was proud of Daniel for making something of himself.

I knew what he was doing by making us leave right then. He said all that just as the coroner’s station wagon rolled up the road. I thought it was mighty considerate of him to let us go before they started fooling with the body.

By the time we got inside Jane’s house, the day was already sweltering hot. Jane got a pitcher out of the refrigerator and poured us each a glass of iced tea.

“Now about Cal,” I said. “I know what you’re thinking. You act like he’s some poor lost soul. You watch him, Jane. You don’t know him like I do.”

“I got the impression you didn’t know him personally.”

“Well, I know
of
him. Everybody in town does. He’s been causing trouble and raising Hades ever since he was a boy Been in jail so many times they nearly named the new jailhouse after him when it was built. He killed a man, you know.”

Jane looked shocked. She set her glass down. “No, I didn’t,” she said. “How long was he in prison?”

“Oh, only one night. And not prison, just the local lockup. Several witnesses in the bar where it happened said it was self-defense. Some guy had been drinking all night, went nuts, and Cal happened to be closest to him. One of the witnesses was a judge. Cal’s daddy was still alive at the time, too, so he had money to spring Cal. I believe that was in 1969.”

“But it
was
self-defense, you say? He was completely cleared?”

“Yes. From then on, he has stayed out here in the wilderness by himself.”

“That’s sad.”

“No, it’s not,” I said. “He chose to live like he does. His family had all the money and influence in the world. He could have had any one of a hundred different lives if he wanted. But no, he wants to live like a wild animal. A recluse is what he is. He’d rather die than sit down and have a human conversation with somebody.”

“Actually,” Jane said, “I found him quite an amusing conversationalist. Interesting. Honest.”

That was when she told me he showed up drunk on her doorstep in the middle of the night. I could not believe it. The man showed her exactly what a sorry sot he was and she calls him “amusing.” Jane really is a little out there sometimes. I knew right then I’d have to watch her back for her since she didn’t understand what kind of dog Cal was. It’s a good thing she’s got me to help her whenever she’s not thinking right.

She did pretty well when Daniel questioned us again. We had a little test runthrough in a way, since Daniel had patrolmen take a statement from each of us at the same time, in separate rooms, before he came in and did the same thing again himself. When he was leaving and we were all standing on her front porch together, he asked her again about times, when were she and Cal at the range together the day before, what time did she last see Cal, when did she hear the shots in the night, and when did the two of us get to the range that morning. He didn’t ask her sneaky like Columbo either, just straight out so he was sure he had everything right in his head before he left. It was nigh on twelve o’clock before I was finally free to go.

T
HE LAST THING SOME FOLKS MIGHT WANT TO DO AF
-ter seeing a dead body is buy a gun. Well, I did. When the police finished questioning me, I went home, took a shower, and then puttered around the house awhile. Every time I walked through my living room, my eyes went straight to the table where my new Israeli bullets lay. I thought,
What am I waiting fan a killer to come into my house? When I’d wish I’d bought a gun while I still had the chance?

No, sir, I was going to be prepared. It was high time I showed a little gumption and started taking charge of my own defense. I smiled thinking how Jane’s knowing how to shoot so good had already been a positive influence on me.

I wasn’t about to buy a gun from Harvel Wriggle after the way he talked smart to me that day I bought my bullets. He wasn’t the only game in town, not by a long shot. I put on some fresh makeup and headed downtown.

I love the town square. Usually I take my time going around it, talking to folks, but it was already almost three o’clock in the afternoon and too hot to dillydally. I pulled my car into an angled space in front of the courthouse and walked a few doors down to Alton’s Gun Emporium. I’ve been friends with Alton for years because he was my husband’s cousin. I was glad to throw a little business his way.

A bell jingled when I opened the shop door.

“Hey Phoebe,” Alton said. “I’ll be right with you.”

Alton looked like he always did, smiling no matter what and his bony arms hanging out of some ridiculous polyester bowling shirt.

I said hey and right then I realized who the customer at the counter was. I patted my hair up and bit my lips to make them redder as I walked closer to the handsomest man in four counties, Jack Blaylock. He hosts the local hunting and fishing show on the public TV station every Saturday night and has even been a guest expert on several cable programs on tracking game through the woods.

I winked at him. “Why, my stars, Alton, I had no idea you catered to celebrities. Mister Blaylock, I’m Phoebe Twigg. I see you on TV all the time, although I’m not a fish and wildlife enthusiast such as yourself.”

He nodded at me and said, “Ma’am.”

His black hair had hardly any gray in it, even though I knew he must be in his sixties like me. He was handsome enough to be one of those smoking cowboys in the cigarette ads.

We got to talking and it came out that Alton and I were related by marriage. I said to Jack, “That’s right. Alton here is my late husband’s double first cousin.”

Jack Blaylock nodded like he understood. “What exactly is a double first cousin?” he said with a sexy laugh. His deep voice and his long eyelashes made my knees go a little quivery.

“Alton here and my late husband, Ronald, were first cousins on both sides of the family. Their mamas were sisters, who married brothers. In other words, Alton’s mama was Noreen Shelton and her sister, Nelda, was my late husband Ronald’s mama. Noreen married Bill Twigg and Nelda married his brother, Lonnie, which makes Alton and Ronald cousins, twice. Ronald, my
late
husband. Who passed away years ago.”

“I see,” Jack said, while he gave me the once over.

“Now, y’all don’t pay any attention to me. Go right ahead with what you’re doing because I want to listen and see if I can learn something while I browse.”

I thought how glad I was I had on my dangling amethyst earrings. They look good with the lavender pant set I had on. Always look your best, that’s what I say You never know who you’ll run into.

“Why would a pretty thing like you need to know about guns?” Jack took a pistol from Alton and clicked it open where the empty bullet holder fell out the handle.

I gave Jack’s arm a little slap. “After what I’ve been through today with police interrogation and dead bodies? What, y’all haven’t heard about it yet?”

They both shook their heads and said, “What happened?” at the same time.

“Well,” I said. I thought a second, took a deep breath, and began. “It all started yesterday about noon. I went in to Wriggle’s to buy my brother a tackle box …”

I gave them the whole story, all the way to me coming into Alton’s store. “And that’s why I need me a gun.”

Alton leaned down and hung his arms over the counter, steadily shaking his head at me. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”

“And why not?” I asked. “Why shouldn’t I get one?”

“Well, Phoebe, I don’t really know how to say this, but you’ve been known to be a mite clumsy at times.”

I put my hands on my hips and counted to five. “Will you never forget that doggone wedding cake?” I said. I’d had a small accident at Alton’s oldest boy’s wedding over ten years ago. Ronald was still alive then. We got up to dance and were close to the refreshments table at the reception. Somebody had dropped an ice cube on the floor and hadn’t picked it up. I stepped on it with my heel and my feet went flying out from under me. Naturally I tried to grab hold of something to break the fall. The nearest thing was the cake table. It wasn’t my fault the caterers had set the wedding cake so close to the edge. Plus, if it hadn’t been one of those fancy five-tiered ones, which are very unsteady, with the fountain spurting out sparkling grape juice at the top, it wouldn’t have collapsed and got stomped on, and the band wouldn’t have got soaked when the grape juice tube came loose, spraying in all directions so nobody could catch it.

‘Then there was that other time,” Alton said. “Remember when our cousin Glendell caught that possum …”

“Don’t even finish that lie, Alton Twigg. I was not aiming at him with that popgun. He ran straight across that clothesline and right in front of me and you know it.”

“And then there was that time with the truckload of watermelons at the fireworks shack…”

“Will you hush?”

“Okay, okay. Seriously, now, no offense, Phoebe,” Alton said. “And it’s nothing personal, but it’s not ladylike for women to have guns.” He stood there, shaking his head back and forth. “It just don’t look right.”

“That dead body didn’t look right either,” I said. “I daresay he’d be walking right now if he’d had a gun on him. Besides, I don’t have a big strong man at home to protect me.” I flashed a quick sideways look at Jack.

Alton started in, trying to talk me out of it. Jack was on my side. “Maybe the little lady is right,” he said. “It doesn’t hurt to be ready just in case. It’s a different world nowadays.”

“Thank you for that vote of confidence.”

Alton still shook his head. “The world may be different but Tul-lulah ain’t. It’s safe as can be here. Just because somebody got shot on the Prewitt place doesn’t mean a thing. We all know how Cal is. Hey you know, I heard he sold some of his land to some contractors in Birmingham who build big shopping malls. They could build a mighty big one out there. Wouldn’t that be something?”

“I heard that, too,” Jack said. “Only I heard it was going to be an industrial complex with a small airstrip for Ag pilots.”

“There’s room for all of them out there,” Alton said.

A shopping mall? I’d love that. Then I wouldn’t have to drive out of town to get pretty clothes and things for my house. Dreaming about spending money on home interiors wasn’t helping me at the moment though. I rapped my knuckles on the glass counter to get the men’s attention.

“Look here, I’m buying me a gun today, whether you like it or not, Alton. Don’t make me go down the road and get one from Wriggle’s.”

I took my box of Israeli bullets out of my purse and slapped it down on the counter. “Now. It has to be something that these will fit in,” I said.

Alton and Jack looked at each other funny but I acted like I didn’t notice. They could make fun of me all they wanted to, I didn’t care.

Would you believe, in that whole store, Alton didn’t have a single gun those would work in? At least, that’s what he told me. I wasn’t so sure I believed him.

“These are for a real big gun, like a hunting gun. That’s not what you want. You need one of these here smaller ones.”

My lips pursed into a tight line. I do like that when I’m trying hard to keep the wrong words from spilling out. What I do is, I let myself think whatever ugly words I want to and then push them out my ears. I play like they float out and evaporate in the air. Then I feel better without cussing somebody out.

“I know what I want, Alton. One of those little peashooters would only make a bad guy laugh at me before he robs and murders me. It’s something my own bullets will fit in, or nothing.”

Alton snapped his fingers. “Hey, I just thought of something. You know what you ought to do? Sign up for Jack’s safety classes.”

“Classes?”

Jack cleared his throat and ran a finger over each side of his moustache. “What I do, Phoebe, is teach folks, just like yourself, how to handle firearms safely in a one-day workshop. There’s a little on self-defense, but mostly I concentrate on how to load, shoot, and clean your gun. If you’re interested, I believe I could get you in this next class. But…”

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