Thorne (Random Romance) (18 page)

I went in and out of my body. One moment I was in our wet skin, slippery against each other, and the next I was in the forest of his heart, running scenting hunting, strong and alive and
free
. One moment I was the burn of his mouth against my skin and the flicker-pound of my heart, then I was trapped in ice and surrounded by the most mournful howl I had ever imagined, knowing knowing knowing the baying belonged to the moon-snatcher himself.

And then he moved his mouth up the inside of my leg, all the way, and I felt his tongue inside me and

and I was nothing but a set of nerve endings a sky drifting dark around me a rising heat a trembling ache and wings lifting me up up up.

Sensation exploded through my skin and fizzed down my spine, burning everything in its wake. I was the volcano above us, a burnt out husk but also a river of raging lava and a sea of inexplicable oyster shells.

It took me a long time to come back, to find that my body felt familiar to me again, and not some gloriously animal creature made for desire and nothing else. Slowly I became aware that I was still lying in the sand, and that Thorne still had his large hand on my ankle, his thumb circling my skin idly. It made it impossible for my mind to hold to any single thought.

‘Enough,’ I managed, and he removed his hand from my skin, and I became Finn again. Sitting up, it was as though I shook off layer after layer of impossible feelings and sensations and images, until I was alone again in my head and body.

I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to handle anything like that again, and I had a very acute awareness of why warder powers were so dangerous – not just to the world around, but to the warder. What if touch was always like that for me? What if I never escaped the intensity? I’d always been careful, not wanting to touch too many people, not wanting to feel what it made me feel, but now that I understood the full extent of what my touch could bring I didn’t know if I’d be able to handle it again. Which seemed an incredibly lonely life to live.

‘Finn,’ Thorne murmured, and I looked into his face and realised that he was concerned. And the look was enough to rip my vulnerable heart into a thousand tiny thumping pieces.

‘I’m fine,’ I said quickly. ‘I just wasn’t expecting …’

My eyes were shifting colours quickly, moving through too many shades to name. He watched each shift, then murmured worriedly, ‘You wanted fun. I gave you fun.’

‘You sure did,’ I agreed.

It was in that moment that we both realized the hilarity of this and burst into exhausted, hysterical laughter. Even though feeling all the secrets in Thorne’s soul was something
very different to fun.

The Bath House was in a flurry of movement when we returned. It took us a few tense moments to work out that two separate bonded couples had gone missing from their rooms.

‘They probably just left,’ I said, thinking it obvious.

Jonah and Penn had found us in the corridor, already having spoken to the house owners. ‘All their belongings are still in their rooms,’ my brother explained.

‘Did the couples know each other?’ Thorne asked.

‘Had nothing to do with each other, as far as the owner knows.’

‘How long have they been missing?’

‘They each travelled with companions who’ve said the respective couples both disappeared two nights ago.’

‘And have only reported it now?’

‘Suppose so. The owner said that over the last month at least half a dozen bonded couples have gone missing from their rooms and have yet to return for their belongings.’

I frowned. That was very weird.

We returned to our rooms to change from our wet clothes. I was alone in the chamber I shared with Isadora. I never had any idea to where the girl disappeared. Perhaps she just didn’t like being around us. Made sense – I wasn’t exactly welcoming. As I dried myself with a towel I couldn’t help thinking about the bonded couples, and something about it stuck in my mind, nagging at me.

Because I was alone I didn’t bother dressing, but walked to the window, enjoying the sensation of the ocean wind against my raw skin.

Where had I been asked about bonded
couples recently? The men in the forest, I remembered. Sin and his gang had been searching for bonded couples and warders, which I’d thought unusual. My fingers ran through the grooves in the sandstone walls, idly using the rough feeling to focus my mind. Eight couples missing from the one establishment. That was more than enough to assume there was foul play involved. And if it was somehow involved with Sin’s men, or warders, then that was even more strange, for they’d been on the other side of the country.

I was about to turn for my clothes, feeling hungry, when I realised belatedly that the room next to mine had a balcony, from which I was clearly visible standing in my open window. And on that balcony was Thorne, watching me.

Our eyes met and I felt his gaze ignite every inch of my skin. I gave a laugh of astonishment and saw him blush bright pink, dropping his eyes quickly. He looked mortified at having been discovered.

I could have gone inside. But that thought lasted less than the shadow of a moment. Instead, I decided to play. I moved to the railing so he could see me better, and as his eyes flicked up again I saw surprise turn to something dark. I could feel those eyes as they darted over my hips, my arms, shoulders, breasts. I could feel his lips on my salt skin even now, just as intensely as I had on the beach.

Would this be the only way I could touch without the tumult of someone’s secrets assailing me? With looks and memories?

A voice called to him from inside his room and he turned reluctantly to reply. Moving inside, he paused briefly to meet my eyes. A small, shy smile curled the corners of Thorne’s lips before he disappeared.

I pulled on a robe and collapsed onto my bed, feeling woozy and astonished. I had absolutely no idea where the tryst on the beach had come from, since Thorne and I had both made it very clear we neither liked nor respected each other, but whatever the cause, I was now utterly drunk on desire, addicted to touch. It was a frightening sensation, because when I felt
like this it inevitably led to destruction of some kind. Passion took its place in my heart and burnt so hot and so fierce that it ravaged my entirety, burnt out and left nothing in its wake. I grew so fixated on things that I crushed them within my excited, giddy hands, and then there was nothing left of them.

I had to be very, very careful. Which was a problem because, regrettably, I was the least careful person in the whole entire world.

When Isadora crept into the room it was late and I was finding it impossible to sleep. I was too hot, no matter how little clothing I slept in or how wide I kept all the windows.

‘What mischief have you been getting up to?’ I asked jealously.

She undressed and climbed into bed. I heard her breathing slow amazingly quickly. I had always been envious of people who could fall asleep with ease. I had to fight it, every damn night of my life.

‘Why are you really on this mission?’ I asked her.

‘I told you.’

‘And I obviously didn’t believe you.’

‘You would do well to keep your questions to yourself, Finn.’

‘I could say that I’ll try, but I’m afraid it would be a lie.’ I watched her still form. ‘Is it because of Thorne? You said you wanted to fight alongside the prince. And you were awfully protective of him for no apparent reason.’

‘He represents peace.’

‘So it’s not because you have any loyalty to him.’

‘I have loyalty to no one,’ she admitted. Then finally muttered, ‘I grew up in the streets. I have no idea who my parents were, nor if they were bonded. I’m doing this for the money.’

And it was bluntly honest enough that I didn’t ask any more questions.

We left early, eating a quick meal of fruit and bread before setting off towards
the rock region. It took us two days to reach Ora, sleeping under the stars and playing guessing games to pass the time, and then another day to walk to the capital city Koll where we planned to stay the night at an inn. As we settled in our two rooms, I removed my shoes and drew on a light dress, then set out, pausing only to poke my head into the boys’ room.

‘I’m going to find Hess,’ I told them. ‘I don’t know when I’ll be back.’

‘Make sure it’s before midnight, Inney. I don’t want to have to traipse through the city to find you,’ Jonah sighed.

‘Then don’t.’

‘I’ll go with her,’ Thorne offered.

‘I don’t need a minder,’ I snapped.

‘No,’ Thorne agreed. ‘But would you grant me the pleasure of your company?’

I rolled my eyes. ‘Fine. Take your shoes off.’

‘Why?’

‘Nobody wears shoes in Koll. The rocks are warm and do wonders for the skin on your feet.’

I could see he found this puzzling and was uncomfortable in the extreme, but took his shoes off nevertheless. If I told him to walk naked because it would help him fit in, he would.

We walked in silence for a few blocks. I wasn’t entirely sure where I was going, but I figured she would be somewhere in the guts of the city. Everything was flat and wide, the buildings all the same sand colour.

‘We haven’t spoken about … the other day,’ he began awkwardly.

I considered letting him fumble his way through it, because his discomfort was amusing and quite adorable, but instead I shook my head. ‘Don’t ruin it.’

He looked a bit crestfallen, but thankfully changed the subject. ‘Who is Hess?’

‘A warder.’

‘Why do you wish to speak to a warder?’

‘She’s famous for her foresight.’

‘She reads the future?’

I nodded. ‘With more accuracy than any warder has been able to before her.’

‘And you wish to know your future?’

‘Well surmised, Thorne.’ I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. He was frowning. ‘You don’t agree?’

‘I think it a cruel thing to do to yourself.’

‘Will my life be so awful?’

‘It is cruel for anyone to know their future.’

‘If I know, one way or another I can stop worrying.’

‘What is it that you worry about, Finn?’

I didn’t mean to answer, but it escaped me before I could stop it. ‘Sam of Limontae.’

He was silent for a time, and then I felt his hand brush mine, seeking to take it. I pulled away, stopping to face him. ‘I need neither pity nor comfort,’ I warned fiercely. I
deserved
neither.

Thorne searched my face with that probing gaze of his, nodded once, and then we went back to walking.

After asking a few locals we found Hess’ home, adorned with a small sign that read her opening hours. We had arrived over an hour after she’d closed shop for the day. ‘Gods damn it,’ I muttered.

But the door swung open and a young woman motioned us inside, saying simply, ‘You’re late.’

Her fawn coloured hair was braided with pieces of leather and tawny feathers. Her eyes were white. And she looked no older than me. It was unsettling to see, knowing she was over a hundred years old.

‘I’m Finn, and this is Thorne,’ I told her.

‘I’m aware.’

‘You’re obviously Hess then?’

‘I’m obviously Hess.’

The ceiling was low, and Thorne had to duck his head to fit inside the house. Hess guided us to a living room, where we sank onto cushions in front of a raging fireplace despite the heat of the season. The room was sweltering, and the combination of this and the heady incense she had burning made me feel immediately nauseous. Perhaps it was this that caused my nerves to ratchet up, or perhaps it was simply the fact that I was here, finally, in a house I had wanted to visit for the last five years, and I might be facing an answer to the question I feared more than anything.

‘Should I wait outside?’ Thorne asked me.

I was about to say yes when Hess interrupted. ‘You do not wait outside.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I’ve seen it. You are present.’

‘But what if I get up and walk out right now?’

‘But you don’t.’

He didn’t like that one bit, I could see. He tried to settle himself, but was deeply uncomfortable with the idea of being powerless in the face of time or fate or destiny – or whatever it was. I didn’t particularly enjoy the sensation either, but I didn’t fight it like Thorne was trying to, for I had intimate experience with understanding the inevitable nature of a person’s place in the world. I felt something a little like a version of the future every time I touched someone’s skin. Not as definable as the future, more like an imprint of a soul and its fear, an imprint of a heart’s impact on those around it. I could not hope to ever explain this to anyone – I could barely define it in my own head.

‘You are here about the boy,’ Hess said, not at all like a question. ‘The boy you were infatuated with. You grew obsessed with him, dreamt of a life with him, imagined bonding with him.’

‘By all means, feel free to embarrass me,’ I muttered.

‘He would have fallen anyway,’ she said, and I froze.

‘What?’ My voice came out as barely a whisper.

‘Child, he would have fallen anyway.’ She leant forward, looking at me with those chillingly vacant eyes. ‘You saw that he was in danger, and you thought to help him. You entered his mind to give his hands strength, little knowing the impact that such a power would have on a young mind. He fell, and died. It weighs heavily on you. But it need not.
He would have fallen anyway
.’

A savage pain was clawing at my insides. I thought in that moment that I might die of it. Because she was right, but she hadn’t mentioned the whole story. That was only a piece of it, and it made the rest worse.

‘I know the rest,’ she agreed, having read my mind. ‘And that is not your burden to bear either. She made her choice, as we must all be allowed to do.’

‘I’m not here about that,’ I rasped, unable to look at her, wishing Thorne was anywhere but in this boiling hot room. Sweat was trickling down my spine and I felt like either vomiting or screaming.

‘Ask your question then.’

I took a breath, felt it catch. ‘Will I kill again?’