Threads of Love (18 page)

The crowd had already begun to gather by the time they arrived. Mrs. O’Mallie had saved seats, hopeful they would attend. She was in the third row, waving them forward with unbridled enthusiasm.

“Oh, there’s Mrs. O’Mallie. Come on, Sam, we can sit up front. She’s saved seats,” Delphinia pointed out, tugging his arm.

“I’d rather sit farther back, if it’s all the same to you,” he answered, holding back.

“Oh,” she said, somewhat surprised, “that’s fine. I’ll just go tell Mrs. O’Mallie. Why don’t you see if you can find a spot for us.”

The older woman was disappointed, and Delphinia would have much preferred to sit up front but deferred to Sam’s choice since he had been kind enough to escort her.

The services were all that Delphinia had hoped for. The preacher was dynamic, and the crowd was receptive to his message. They sang songs, read Scripture, and heard the Word preached; and when the service was over, Delphinia could hardly wait to return for the next evening.

“Wasn’t it wonderful?” she asked Sam as they made their way to the buggy.

“It was interesting,” he responded, saying nothing further.

Delphinia was so excited about the meeting, she did not note how quiet Sam had been, nor the fact that he had little to say the whole way home.

When they finally reached the porch, she said, “Do you think we could go tomorrow?” She sounded so full of anticipation. He thought once again of a child being offered candy.

“I don’t think so,” he answered, watching as her face became void of the animation it had held just minutes before.

“Why? Do you think it unwise to leave Pa again?” she asked.

“No, that’s not why. I think one night of observation is sufficient,” he answered.

“Observation? What an odd thing to say. Attending church or revival is not something one observes. It’s something you do. It’s worshiping God,” she said, looking at him through a haze of confusion.

“Not for me,” he responded.

“Whatever do you mean, Sam? You believe in God. You’ve accepted Jesus as your Savior…haven’t you?” she asked, doubt beginning to creep into her thoughts.

“I attend church because it’s the respectable thing to do, and people expect it of a doctor. As for your question, however, the answer is no, I don’t believe in God.”

With that pronouncement, Delphinia almost fell onto the chair just behind her and stared at him in openmouthed disbelief.

“I’m sure that comes as a shock to you, but I consider myself an educated man. I believe in science and have studied in some of the best schools in this country and Europe. There is absolutely nothing to support the theory of your God, Delphinia. I realize most people have a need to believe in some higher being and so they cling to this God and Jesus ideology. I don’t need it. I believe in myself and when life is over, it’s over,” he said, sitting down opposite her.

“But, but, you’ve acted as though you believe. You went and got the pastor for my father, and you attend church, and you talk to Mrs. O’Mallie about God, and you pray—”

“No,” he interrupted, “I do not pray. I allow others to pray over their food, and I discuss God with Mrs. O’Mallie because she enjoys talking about such things. You have never heard me pray, and you won’t. When a dying patient wants a preacher, I see to it. That doesn’t mean I think it’s needed,” he answered.

“I don’t know what to say. I just can’t believe you’re saying this,” she said, rising from the chair and pacing back and forth. “I know you place great value on your education, but I hope you’ll heed the words of 1 Corinthians 3:18, where it tells us that if any man seems to be wise in this world, let him become a fool so he may become wise,” she said, hoping he would listen, but realizing from his vacant stare that he did not care to hear.

“I’ve heard that rhetoric preached all my life. My parents took me to church every Sunday. My mother was devout, although my father confided to me in later years that he never believed; but for my mother’s sake, he acted like he believed,” he said.

When she did not respond, he continued, “I wanted you to know how I felt before we marry. I’ll not stop you from attending church, and on occasion I’ll escort you. But I’ll not want you there all the time, nor would I want our children indoctrinated with such nonsense,” he added.

“Before we marry? I never said I would marry you. I never even gave you cause to think that,” she fired back at him.

“I never doubted you would accept. I realize how much I have to offer a woman. A nice home, security. I’m kind and, I’ve been told, good-looking,” he said with a smile.

“I’m sure to many women those would be the most important qualities, but your confidence in my acceptance is unfounded. I would never marry a man who didn’t believe in Jesus Christ as his Savior. I feel sorry for you, Sam, if you’ve hardened your heart against the Lord, but I want you to know I’ll be praying for you,” she said, walking toward her father’s room. “I think I’d better check on my father and get ready for bed. Good night, Sam.”

“Good night, Delphinia. I’ve not accepted what you said as your final word however. We’ll discuss this further tomorrow,” he answered, not moving from the chair.

Her father was fast asleep when she stepped into his room. She backed out quietly and made her way down the hall to prepare for bed.

Sitting at the dressing table, she gazed at the reflection of herself.
How could I have been so blind?
She forced herself to think back over the weeks she had lived in this house. It was true; she had never seen Sam pray. At meals he always deferred to someone else, and now that she thought about it, whenever she would pray with her father, he would leave the room. When she had tried to discuss the sermons they had heard on Sundays or ask his opinion about a verse of Scripture, he would always change the subject.

She slipped into her nightgown, dropped to her knees beside the bed, and earnestly thanked God for answered prayer, certain His intent was for her to return to Kansas and be joined with a godly man. She prayed regularly for those she loved, and tonight she added a prayer for the salvation of Dr. Samuel Finley, an educated man, walking in darkness.

Arising the next morning, Delphinia hastened to get herself dressed, wanting to talk with her father. Sam was waiting in the kitchen when she entered and requested she join him for breakfast.

“I’d rather not this morning. I’m not very hungry, and I’d like to visit with my father. I didn’t spend much time with him yesterday, and we need to talk,” she said, lifting the tray of food and moving toward the door.

“We will talk later,” he said tersely.

“There is no doubt about that,” she answered emphatically, without looking back.

Who does he think he is?
she thought, marching down the hallway to her father’s room. She stopped before entering, knowing she must change her attitude before seeing him and took a moment to issue a short prayer that God would assist her in this discussion.

“Good morning, Papa,” she greeted, smiling brightly.

“Good morning to you,” he said, indicating the chair by his bed. “Sit and tell me all about your evening.”

“I plan to do just that, but first, you must eat,” she told him, lifting a napkin off the tray and placing an extra pillow behind him.

“I’ll eat while you talk. Have we got a deal?” he asked.

“As long as you eat, I’ll talk,” she said, glad to see a little more color in his cheeks.

He lifted a small forkful of food to his mouth and nodded at her to begin.

“Papa, I know you have a desire for me to marry Sam, and he has asked for my hand.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Delphinia. When’s the weddin’ to be? Maybe I’ll be well enough to attend,” he said excitedly.

“There won’t be a wedding. At least not a wedding between Sam and me,” she answered.

“What do you mean? You’re confusing me,” he said, slapping the fork on his tray.

“There’s no need to get upset. I’m going to explain, if you’ll just eat and let me talk,” she admonished. “Sam has asked for my hand, but I could never marry a man unless he’s a Christian. Sam doesn’t believe in God. Besides, Papa, I don’t love Sam. I love Jonathan Wilshire. I have to admit that I was swayed by Sam’s good looks and kind ways and that it was nice to be escorted about the city and have his attention. But that’s not love. A marriage between us would be doomed for failure.”

“You can’t be sure of that. You just said he’s good and kind, and you enjoy his company. I don’t want you livin’ out your days workin’ like your mama, always unhappy and wishin’ for more,” he said.

“Just because Mama was unhappy some of the time doesn’t mean she would have changed things. She loved you, Pa, and that’s where a woman belongs. With the man she loves. You’ve got to understand that I could never love Sam. Not unless he turned to the Lord, and then I’m not sure. He’s hardened his heart against God. Why, he told me he wouldn’t even allow his children to be brought up as Christians. You know I couldn’t turn my back on God like that,” she responded adamantly.

“I understand what you’re saying, and I know you’re right. I guess I’m just being selfish again. I want you to have all the things I could never give your mother, even if you don’t want them.”

“Don’t you see, she had the most important things: a family that loved her and the love of our Savior. That’s all any of us really need to be happy,” she said, leaning down and placing a kiss on his cheek.

W
hen Sam returned later in the afternoon, Delphinia was sitting on the front porch, enjoying the cool breeze and silently thanking God for the afternoon discussion with her father and his agreement that she return to Kansas.

“I thought you’d be in tending to your father,” Sam said with no other greeting.

“I just came out. He’s asleep, and I wanted some fresh air,” she answered defensively.

“Good, then we can have our talk,” he rebutted, sitting down and moving the chair closer.

“There’s really nothing further to say, Sam. I can’t marry you. I’ve explained that I could never marry a non-Christian, and besides, I’m in love with Jonathan Wilshire,” she said, leaning back in her chair in an effort to place a little more distance between them.

“As I recall, you weren’t quite so sure of your love for that Wilshire fellow when I kissed you on this very porch.”

“I’m not going to defend myself or my actions to you, but I hope you’ll believe and accept my decision in this matter. It will make life easier for all three of us,” she responded, hoping to ease the tension between them.

“I think your pa will have something to say about this. I’ve already asked for your hand, and he as much as promised it. So you see, the decision really hasn’t been made yet,” he answered with a smug look on his face.

“I’ve discussed the matter fully with my father, Sam. He is in agreement that I should follow my heart and return to Kansas. He was unaware of your disbelief in God, as much as I was. There is no doubt in my mind that I could not be happily married to a non-Christian. The Bible warns Christians about being unequally yoked—”

“Don’t start quoting Scripture to me. That’s the last thing I want to hear. What I want to know is how you talked your father into allowing you to return to Kansas,” he interrupted.

“I’ve already explained, and he realizes the folly of my marrying someone like you. He may have discussed the fact that he thought a marriage between us would be good, but you deceived him, too. I’m not sure it was intentional, since you find faith in God so unimportant. I would rather believe you did not set out to mislead either of us. I’d prefer you didn’t upset my father by discussing this further, but you’re the doctor. Do as you see fit,” she said, hearing the small bell at her father’s bedside and rising to go to his room.

“Stay here. I’ll see to him,” Sam said, standing and picking up his bag.

She did not move from the chair, but it was not long before Sam returned. Leaning against the thick rail that surrounded the porch, he looked down at her, his eyes filled with sadness.

“We could be happy, you know. If I’m willing to overlook your foolish beliefs and allow you to practice your Christian rituals, why is it so difficult for you to think our marriage wouldn’t work?” he asked.

“That’s exactly why—because you don’t believe. It would always be a struggle between us. I want to be able to share my love of the Lord with my husband and raise my children to know God. I want God to be the head of our house, and that could never happen if I were married to you,” she answered.

“You’ve done a good job of convincing your father. I found no allegiance from him when we talked. I guess there’s nothing more to say, except that I love you, and if you change your mind, we can forget this conversation ever took place,” he said and walked into the house.

Delphinia remained, not wanting to discuss the matter further. When she was sure Sam had gone upstairs, she went to her father’s room.

“I wondered if you’d gone to bed without a good-night kiss for me,” he said, watching her enter the room.

“No, I’d not do that,” she replied, straightening the sheet and pulling the woolen blanket up around his chest. “How are you feeling this evening?”