Three Amazing Things About You (13 page)

Luke went into the kitchen to make coffee and Hallie took one last look at the picture of Nick on her phone. What was the famous quote: don’t be sad that it’s over, be glad that it happened?

Something like that, anyway.

And yes, she did do her best to live by that mantra, but just sometimes the reality of her own life made it hard to stay positive.

Nick’s message said:
Hey, you! How’s everything? Haven’t caught a single kangaroo today – don’t know WHAT I’m doing wrong! Maybe a different kind of fishing line needed?? Xxx

Hallie typed:
Glad you’re having a great time. All good here. Yes, you need to put Tim Tams on your fishing hooks – kangaroos love them. Xxx

Having replied to his breezy message, using the same number of kisses he had, she duly deleted his text and photo.

Luke, back from the kitchen, watched her do it. ‘What happened with you two? Can I ask that question?’

‘Of course you can ask. You want the whole story?’ She waited for him to settle down with his coffee. ‘Nick was my first proper boyfriend. His family moved to Carranford . . . God, must have been eight years ago now. I was twenty, Nick was nineteen. We met in the pub one night and it was just . . . wow. Lust at first sight.’ Hallie smiled at the memory of that long hot summer; she didn’t have to explain to Luke that her lungs hadn’t been as bad then as they were now. The limitations on physical activities had been far fewer and the spark between her and Nick had been mutual and instantaneous. ‘He was so carefree and enthusiastic about everything. We fell in love. We didn’t actually have too much in common, but who cared about that?’ She paused and pulled a face. ‘Well, apart from Nick’s family and my mum. They didn’t want their perfect son getting himself involved with someone in my situation. And my mum just knew I was the one who’d end up getting hurt. She was desperate to protect me. Except I was twenty, so obviously I wasn’t going to listen to
her
. As far as Nick and I were concerned, we were Romeo and Juliet. Everyone was trying to split us up, which just made us that much more determined to make it work. Nick’s mum was terrified I was going to get pregnant and trap him that way. She couldn’t understand why he would want to be tied down with someone with CF when there were so many completely
normal
girls to choose from.’

Luke didn’t bother with the usual platitudes. ‘And how long did you stay together?’

‘Two years. Then the novelty began to wear off, I suppose. Nick was at Bath University, being a student and doing all the normal student things. He was sporty, he wanted to travel . . . I’m guessing it began to sink in that I was never going to miraculously get better. Then after his degree his parents paid for him to take a year off and go travelling around the world. Well, that was pretty much it. Travelling was what he wanted to do and I couldn’t stop him. That was when we broke up. And a few weeks after he left, his parents put their house up for sale and moved to Manchester.’

Luke whistled. ‘To make sure you two didn’t get back together when he came home?’

‘Who knows? Everyone in Carranford felt really sorry for me, anyway.’ Hallie’s dark eyes gleamed with mischief. ‘And we were all delighted when they had to sell the house for twenty grand less than they’d paid for it.’

‘And how did you cope?’

‘What, once Nick was gone? I wasn’t brave, if that’s what you’re asking. Made a right show of myself for a while. Drank too much, cried a
lot
, even slept with one of Nick’s friends, just to punish him. Except it didn’t help and I still felt like a bit of old rubbish.’ Reaching for her coffee and shrugging, Hallie said, ‘So I decided life would be easier if I didn’t get involved with anyone else. Basically, it wasn’t worth the hassle. I’d be better off staying single.’

Luke frowned slightly. ‘And you still think that?’

‘It’s not so difficult. I’m hardly the catch of the year.’ Hallie shook her head dismissively; it was time to change the subject. ‘Go on then, enough about me. Your turn now. Why aren’t you settled down?’

He looked amused. ‘I’m busy. I put in a lot of hours.’

‘Is that why you and Christina broke up?’
Wow, listen to me, asking the question I’ve wanted to know the answer to for months
. But here in Luke’s cottage, at this time of night, it somehow seemed OK. Belatedly Hallie added, ‘You don’t have to say if you don’t want to. I’m just nosy.’

Because he was looking a bit embarrassed now. God, how awful if there’d been some humiliating sexual reason for the break-up.

‘It’s fine. There’s no big secret. We got together because we liked each other and everyone told us what a great couple we made. And life was easy and we never argued, and it was all just
fine
.’ Luke shrugged. ‘But it needs to be more than fine, doesn’t it? It wasn’t the . . . you know, the love affair of the century. We
weren’t
Romeo and Juliet.’

‘It just wasn’t enough,’ said Hallie.

‘Pretty much.’ He paused. ‘And then there were the snakes.’

‘You what?’

‘Well, quite.’ Luke smiled briefly at the expression on her face. ‘She kept them as pets. A Burmese python, a royal python and two corn snakes. The spare room was full of vivariums. And Christina loved them. Probably far more than she loved me.’ His tone was wry. ‘Basically, it was hard to relax in that house. I’m not terrified of snakes, but I was never going to like them. Never understood the appeal.’

‘And it was one more reason why you split up.’

‘Let’s say it didn’t help. After we’d been seeing each other for a year, she suggested we move in together, and I realised then that my first thought was
No
. Well, it was
Oh God, not with those bloody snakes
. But if I’d loved her enough, I could have coped with them. After that, we both kind of realised it was never going to work out. She’s still living in Cheltenham,’ said Luke. ‘With Audrey and Daniel and Artemis and Trevor.’

‘Those were their names?’

‘Yes.’

‘Blimey. And none of us ever knew about them,’ Hallie marvelled. ‘It just goes to show, you never can tell what’s happening behind other people’s closed doors.’

‘In Christina’s case, she’s usually feeding dead mice and rats to her pythons. Not the loveliest sight in the world. You’re looking tired,’ said Luke. ‘Time to take your meds. And I’ve made an executive decision,’ he added. ‘I’m not letting you go home. You’re staying here.’

Hallie nodded. He was right: the virus was wiping her out. Despite having slept for hours this afternoon, she was now exhausted and ready to crash out again. She needed to do her IVs and use the NIV if she wanted to avoid CO
₂
build-up and the inevitable banging headache tomorrow morning.
Oh, the endless joys of being ill
.

‘I feel bad, leaving you with the washing-up. If you can bear to let it sit in the sink, I’ll do it in the morning.’

‘Don’t even think about it. You just concentrate on getting better. Look, I’m going to leave you in peace now. Bathroom’s through there. You’ve got everything else you need here in this room. And you have your mobile,’ said Luke. ‘Any problems at all, just shout. If you can’t shout, call.’ He picked up his own phone, rose to his feet and headed for the kitchen.

The rear view was great; in jeans, you could see what a nice bum he had. ‘Thanks so much for this,’ said Hallie.

He halted in the doorway and turned to look at her. ‘Will you stop thanking me? There’s no need.’ Another pause. ‘And can I say something else?’

‘Go ahead.’

‘Not all men are like Nick. They don’t all run away. Plenty of people with CF have normal, happy relationships.’

He was so kind, so compassionate. Hallie’s chest gave a secret squeeze of emotion; imagine if Luke weren’t her doctor and liked her as much as she liked him. He would, she instinctively knew, be one of the good guys, the trustworthy kind who would never break your heart and run away.

But how many men could you ever really trust? Even if you were fit and healthy? Not many. Add in the fact that she
did
have a life-limiting illness and the odds of actually being able to find someone were just about infinitesimal. Falling in love and being abandoned – again – held no appeal whatsoever. Maybe if you were expecting to live for another sixty years, the prospect of being miserable and heartbroken for a few months was bearable.

The thing was, if a few months was possibly all the time you had left here on this earth . . . well. It wasn’t high on her list of must-have experiences.

Basically, who’d want to be utterly miserable for the rest of their life?

Hallie looked at Luke and allowed herself a brief fantasy. What would he do if she were to beckon him over now, wrap her arms around his neck and pull his mouth down to meet hers? What would he say if she whispered, ‘Will you carry me upstairs? Can we sleep together? If I promise never to tell anyone, could we do that? Just for tonight?’

OK, get a grip. End of fantasy
.

Apart from anything else, what if he backed away in horror, holding up his hands and saying, ‘You’re kidding, right?’

God, being rejected in a fantasy was the absolute pits.

Hallie braced herself and nodded. ‘I know they do. Ignore me, it’s just the way I feel. I’m a complete wimp.’

Luke regarded her steadily for several seconds before shaking his head. ‘No, not true. You’re anything but that.’ He reached for the door handle. ‘Night.’

In the kitchen, doing the mountain of washing-up, Luke heard Hallie moving around in the living room. She would be getting ready for bed, doing her meds, setting up the portable ventilator and settling down for the night. Luckily the old sofa was big and comfortable enough to stretch out on; he would have offered her his own bed like a shot, but since the bathroom was downstairs, it made sense for her to stay down here too.

This evening had been simultaneously one of the best and most frustrating of his life. Somehow he’d even managed to end up telling Hallie she shouldn’t give up on love, and encouraging her to search for someone special who could make her happy.

Someone else special, obviously. Not him. Even though just the thought of Hallie with another man made his chest tighten with envy.

Luke picked up the wine glass she’d drunk out of and tipped the last dregs down the sink. And if she
did
find someone, he would have to pretend to be happy for her . . .

God, I must be some kind of masochist
.

When you make the discovery that someone you like has never seen your all-time favourite film, there’s only one thing to do. And that is to force them to sit down with you and watch it.

‘Are you
serious
? How can you never have seen
The Shawshank Redemption
? It’s a classic!’

‘Man gets life in prison for a murder he didn’t commit. I don’t know.’ Luke shrugged. ‘I suppose it just didn’t sound that cheery.’

‘But it’s so amazing. Tim Robbins is brilliant. Morgan Freeman’s brilliant too. Come on.’ Hallie pointed to the other end of the sofa. ‘I’ve downloaded it now. You’re going to love it, I promise.’

And really, was there any better way to spend a Saturday evening? She was feeling better today, still under the weather, but fully rested and not nearly as grim and feverish as yesterday. She had texted her mum and told her she was having a wonderful time being pushed along the Champs-Élysées in her wheelchair. In reality, Luke had made pancakes for lunch and this evening they were going to be ordering a pizza delivery from the new Italian restaurant in Stow-on-the-Wold.

Outside, it was dark and icy cold. Inside, the cottage was toasty warm and comfortable, a bright fire crackling in the grate and the scent of lemons from the pancakes still lingering in the air. As they watched the film together, Hallie kept a covert eye on Luke. It was truly one of life’s pleasures, introducing someone to something you knew they were going to love.

And really, how could he not? Luke had kindness, strength and compassion; he was as perfect as the film itself. It couldn’t fail to touch his soul.

‘Can you pass me a tissue?’ she murmured as, on screen, Andy Dufresne found himself alone in the Governor’s office overlooking the exercise yard.

Luke reached across for the box on the table in front of him. ‘Are you OK?’

Oh, the glamour: he thought she needed a good old chest-clearing cough.

‘I’m fine.’ Hallie braced herself; this part of the film always made her cry. She couldn’t wait to see if it had the same effect on Luke.

Andy Dufresne had found the record and taken it out of its dusty sleeve. He carefully placed it on the record player and listened as the first glorious bars of the Letter Duet from Mozart’s
Marriage of Figaro
began to play. Then he plugged the record player into the main speakers that broadcast throughout the prison and sat back with his hands clasped behind his head, transported along with the rest of the incredulous inmates by the beauty of the aria.

And when the warden hammered furiously on the door, yelling at him to stop it, Andy turned the music up. For those few magical minutes he was no longer a prisoner . . .

Under cover of wiping her eyes, Hallie glanced sideways at Luke and saw that he was breathing in that juddery way people do when they’re struggling to control their emotions. His jaw was rigid and his own eyes were glistening . . . oh yes, it had got to him too.

Unable to resist it, she reached across, gave his arm a gentle nudge and whispered, ‘You OK?’

‘Great, thanks. Absolutely fine.’ As he murmured his reply, Luke kept his gaze fixed on the screen. ‘Not remotely affected.’

She grinned. ‘Don’t worry, it gets better. This is just the start.’

DDDDDRRRINNNGGGGG.

The shrill of the doorbell shattered the moment. They both jumped a mile.

‘What should I do?’ Hallie looked at him. ‘Hide?’ They weren’t doing anything wrong, but she
was
supposed to be in Paris.

‘Let me go and see who it is. It’s OK, I won’t let anyone in.’ Already on his feet, Luke went to answer the front door. Reaching over for the remote control, Hallie pressed Pause and listened. Hopefully he’d get rid of whoever it was and they could carry on watching the rest of the film. If he was loving it so far, just wait till he got to the bit at the end where—