Three Nights before Christmas (20 page)

“Show me how you like it.”

He lifted his head, staring down the length of his taut body at her kneeling between his knees. She’d knelt for him before, in the annex. But here, on his bed, both of them completely bare to each other… it meant something different. She couldn’t deny that, much as she wanted to.

He nudged her mouth open with his thumb. “Lick me. The way I did you.”

Never breaking eye contact, she started at the root of his cock and slowly dragged the flat of her tongue up his length, teasing his frenulum with a series of quick flicks.

His head fell back to the pillows, and he cursed. “You’re going to kill me.”

She didn’t wait for further instruction. Opening wide, she took him as deep as she could and worked him with long pulls. Though he didn’t speak—no words, only animalistic sex sounds—he guided her head up and down, faster, harder. Her body tingled and clenched, and she reached between her legs to draw out the sensation. When he saw her touching herself, he pushed her head away, slipping from between her lips with a wet
pop
, and frantically rolled the condom down his length. She scrambled to straddle him, and together they nudged his hard cock into her. She rode him, his hips slamming up to fill her over and over, faster and harder until her whole body exploded.

Her whole world exploded.

By the time Lacey came back to herself, Austin had thrown a comforter over both of them and was cuddling her from behind. His chest moved against her back in the same rhythm as her own breathing. His strong arm had curled around her, holding her close and cupping her breast. She snuggled farther into the down pillows and let go of everything.

Her arrest. Her trial. Her parole. Her brother.

Everything.

For the first time since she’d been home, it all melted away. She wasn’t naive enough to think it wouldn’t come back. The experiences would always be part of her. But how reassuring to learn she could let them go and, for one perfect moment, feel replete with peace.

Austin shifted, nuzzling the hollow beneath her ear. She smiled and tipped her head to give him easier access.

“I love touching you.”

I love being touched by you.
The words were begging to be said, but she couldn’t use the L-word to describe anything about him. Not yet. Maybe not ever. She wasn’t sure…though it certainly didn’t seem as laughable as it would’ve three weeks ago.

Austin’s arms tightened around her as he rolled them onto their sides and cuddled her close. She snuggled into his embrace, learning the feel of her lover at rest.

He was silent for several long minutes, as if his mind were miles away. She didn’t think he’d fallen asleep, since his fingers made tiny circles along her spine. When he finally spoke, he broached a topic she hadn’t expected.

“Josh got hurt on my watch.”

She pulled her head back so she could meet his eyes, but she didn’t say anything.

“You asked me before why I’m working on the train instead of writing a check,” he explained. “Josh got hurt in my forest, when I was on duty, and I couldn’t get to him in time. Gabriel did, and thank God, because he saved Josh’s life. But Josh probably won’t ever walk again, and…” He blinked and looked away for a second. “And I would do anything to make that kid happy. You should see the way he’s handled everything. He’s the biggest hero I know.”

Lacey’s heart turned over painfully in her chest. He’d never admitted anything so personal to her, but it didn’t feel like an awkward over-share. Gratitude for his trust settled over her. It wasn’t something she received a lot of these days. So she felt comfortable admitting, “I’m doing it because your ass is irresistible in jeans.”

Shocked laughter burst out of him. “Really?”

“It really is. And that’s really the reason. Well,” she qualified, “ninety percent of the reason. The other ten percent was that I missed working on trains. But the ass thing is a big part of it. As much as I thought I hated you, something drew me to you. I hated it, hated that part of myself that couldn’t say no to a sexy man, even as my head told me that spending time with you would be a disaster. It made me feel stupid and shameful.”

His amusement died away as she spoke, and his face had flushed with concern. “And now?”

Good question.
“I think I’m coming to terms with the war between my body and mind. Maybe they both want the same thing, and I just didn’t realize it.”

You. They both want you.

But the revelation was too much right now, too scary and too soon. Fortunately, her body saved her. Her stomach growled, and Austin stroked her tummy, seemingly willing not to push the conversation farther. “Hungry again?”

“Apparently. Guess I was too focused on filling up on you.”

His morning whiskers abraded the skin of her jaw as he kissed her cheek. “Fill up on me any time you want. I’m more than happy to be your go-to guy for that kind of feast.”

Shifting so she could see him better, she stroked his cheek and met his gaze. It was unguarded—as terrifyingly unguarded as hers probably was—and she saw more affection there than lust.

“Hello,” she whispered.

“Hello.” He tipped her onto her back and settled between her legs, cupping her face and rubbing his nose against hers. His erection pressed at the dip between her hipbone and mons.

“Well,” she said, “aren’t you insatiable?”

“There’s something about you…” He kissed her. “Something I like.” His lips tugged at hers till she opened for him. He deepened the kiss, stroking her tongue, letting his weight settle on her more.

“Mmm…” She let her hands wander over the ridged muscles of his shoulders, his back, his waist, until she grabbed his ass and pulled him harder against her. “There’s something I like about you, too.”

“How about we
like
each other a bit more before we have a second breakfast?”

She grinned against his mouth and opened her legs. “I like that idea.”

She liked it a lot more than she should.

*

Over the next
few days, Austin and Lacey established a routine. Every morning, Austin would let her drive his truck down the mountain to the Christmas tree farm. Since she couldn’t legally drive on her own yet, he sat in the passenger seat and gave her tips for passing her test, really useful ones like, “Hands at ten and two.”

“They are.”

He made an uncertain noise. “Mmm… More like nine-thirty and two-thirty.”

She threw him a nasty look, and he laughed. “Okay, they’re good enough. But did you just change lanes? Without signaling?” He tsked. “Automatic fail.”

“Do you have a part-time job at the DMV?”

“Nope. Just two decades of driving expertise under my belt.”

She muttered something.

“What was that?”

“I said I’m not going under your belt again if you don’t cut me some slack.”

“Just trying to help.”

She rolled her shoulders and her neck, as if she were loosening tense muscles. “I can’t wait to get this test over with. I feel so trapped, having to depend on everyone else for rides.”

He could understand that. He didn’t like that relying on him made her feel trapped, but he could certainly understand it. He would bristle at it, too. “If we all had to retake the test fifteen years after getting our licenses, most of us would fail.”

“Not you, though, right?”

He grinned and patted her knee. “Definitely not. I’m a rock star behind the wheel. Make sure you signal for this turn.”

She sighed. “This better stop as soon as I have my license.”

It was the first time she’d referred to any kind of future between them. Sure, it wasn’t a far distant future, since her test was set for the first week of January, but still. Mentioning anything after Christmas seemed like a big deal for her. And it felt like a breakthrough for him.

“I promise,” he said.

Once they got to the farm, they both jumped out and he kissed her goodbye before driving to work. The detour added an hour to his commute, but she needed the ride. Besides, that time together was different than anything else they had. No sex. No focusing on Lucinda. Just the two of them jamming to country Christmas carols and talking. Like a normal couple.

She worked all day and long after sunset, so he was on his own with Lucinda until Lacey closed up shop around eight and he picked her up. Thanks to her hard work and ability to convince train geeks she met online to volunteer for the project, Lucinda’s restoration was back on track, so to speak. The locomotive would definitely be finished by the time Santa’s Wonderland opened.

The second day he picked her up from the farm, she had smudges of exhaustion under her eyes and her shoulders slouched under the weight of a long day of physical labor. He helped her lock up the barn and the gates around the trees, but as she turned off the festive lights and closed everything down for the night, he got an idea. One he hoped would perk her up instead of making her droop further.

“Before we lock up, I want to look at the trees.”

Her eyes flashed with,
“You’ve got to be kidding me. Now?”
But her mouth said, “Sure,” and she led him to the lot where they were all displayed in their stands. Because Lacey didn’t back down from hard work. Nothing was ever too much for her. It worried him a little, the possibility she could work herself into the ground. But he would probably go stir-crazy after years of forced inactivity, too.

They wandered around the tree lot hand-in-hand. More snow had fallen, dusting the branches with powder. “What kind do you recommend?”

“Depends. Who are you getting it for?”

He squeezed her hand. “You. Who else?”

She blinked up at him, as if she couldn’t believe she’d heard correctly. “Me? I don’t need a tree.”

“Sure you do.”

“Austin, I have hundreds of trees.”

“But you don’t have any at my house.”

“I beg to differ. You bought one as part of our deal when I agreed to work on Lucinda.”

“That’s in the annex.”

“We can bring her inside.”

“Or we can get another tree and enjoy them both, wherever we are.”

“You’re serious about this.”

He pulled her closer. “After we get a tree, we need to get some lights and ornaments. Are there any from your brother’s collection that you have your eye on?”

“I… I hadn’t even thought of them in that way. They’re all beautiful, but…”

“But?”

“But I’ve spent weeks decorating trees to help sell them. I… I haven’t really thought about them for myself.”

He held her against his chest and rested his chin on top of her head. “How about we get the tree today and you take a good look at the ornaments tomorrow, when you’re selling them. Be selfish. Stash aside the ones you like. I’ll buy them when I pick you up.”

“You don’t have to pay for them.”

“Yeah, I do. You’re running a business, not a charity. Besides, I want to. Consider it my way of paying you back for helping me make that horrible sweater for Wyatt.”

Her grin grew so large it almost pained him. “Done.”

So they picked out a six-foot tall pine with a full cone and loaded it into the bed of his truck. When they got back to the old station house, they cooked together. Well, Lacey did most of the cooking, since she’d figured out how shit Austin was at it. They spread the pattern for the snowman sweater across the kitchen table, then spent hours cutting, ironing and gluing felt onto a green sweatshirt, laughing together as they created a gift gaudier and tackier than anything available in stores.

By the time they got to the bedroom, they were almost too exhausted to touch each other.

Almost.

But they created another Christmas tradition—undressing each other.

Austin started it by kneeling at Lacey’s feet and pulling off her heavy socks. Still on his knees, he unbuckled her belt and lowered her jeans to the floor, holding her hand as she stepped out of them. Lacey never said a word. She simply stood, balancing with her hand on his bent head, and let him pick up her foot and rub it. His strong hands would wander up her calf and thigh, kneading and caressing the tension from her leg before turning his attention to the next one. All the while, his mouth would wander, pressing kisses against the sensitive inside of her knee, her inner thigh, her panties. By the time he finished rubbing her legs, her panties would be gone and he would devote himself to a more intimate massage, one that required fingers and lips and tongue. She stripped off her shirt, dropped her head back and let him make her come.

And then she would do the same for him.

When they finally made it to bed, they fell in a tangle of limbs and heated sighs. Their caresses built the tension all over again, and their early petting made their joining slow and languid. Every time Austin slid into her body, Lacey worked her way a little deeper into his. He held her close, watched her face, worshiped the moments when he could make her day slip away and hear her whisper his name in a shaky voice. In those moments, he was everything for her, and she was everything for him.

The more of those moments he had, the more he craved and the farther he was willing to go for them.

They clutched each other as they trembled and came together. And as they panted through their dying orgasm, Austin pressed her face against his racing heartbeat.