Three Round Towers (17 page)

Some days later, Cecilia, who was still struggling with her early day sickness, had arranged for the fitting of her dress to be in the afternoon. We drove into Lewes in the gig and Cecilia told the driver to wait for us.

Miss Simpson looked pleased with the compliments we were able to pay her after trying the dress on. It was absolutely exquisite and Cecelia's worries about the pregnancy showing were unfounded. While we were in Lewes we called on Mrs Makepiece and I was able to tell her and Cecilia about our trip to Southease.

‘That is wonderful Esther; it is good to have family and roots nearby. Will you call on them again soon?'

‘I didn't really feel welcomed,' I confessed. ‘But perhaps that is not surprising, me turning up out of the blue and there had clearly been some bad feelings about my mother leaving them, as Aunt Tilly put it, in the lurch.'

‘Aye, it must have been a bit of a shock to them.' Mrs Makepiece turned her attention to Cecilia and we talked on about the upcoming wedding and her departure from South Farm as we took tea.

In the gig as we returned home I asked her if she was excited about the wedding and returning to her mother's care.

‘I am, but once I have been there a few weeks I know I will want to come back to South Farm but I must do what is best for my baby. You will call on John, won't you Esther? He will be quite lost without us all around him.'

‘I will indeed – I am sure I will have time on my hands in the early days and I can walk over with Beth regularly. Perhaps I can accompany the doctor when he visits.'

‘Will you write to me Esther? I will miss you and Beth so much and it would be good to know all the little things that are not noticed by John.' We giggled at her polite way of requesting the gossip.

The days were going by rapidly with Cecilia turning things out and selecting her travelling wardrobe. I was thrilled to be given two of her day dresses, a shawl and some underclothing, which I had never previously worn. She also gave me some bits and pieces to use as adornments if I went anywhere special. In the days leading up to her departure I was with her constantly and knew I would miss her terribly. Beth was constantly in her arms being kissed and cuddled. ‘By the time you get back,' I said, ‘she will be talking and walking properly and you won't recognise her.'

‘Oh, don't say that, I would recognise her anywhere, she has been my dearest love. Excepting John and you of course. When I get back we will be together again and Beth will have a little one to play at being mother to.'

I laughed at the idea of Beth mothering a new baby but in truth I was dreading Cecilia's departure. I was very nervous of my new role as nurse and how Beth and I would fit into a bachelor's household. I truly liked the doctor and enjoyed our discussions but I was unsure of my place. Sometimes I thought him to be looking at me in a manner that wasn't quite as usual, I didn't know what it meant.

On the day before the wedding the household rose early and everyone clustered around Cecilia as she stepped into the carriage. She looked absolutely beautiful and very dignified. I sensed her taking back her role as a peer's daughter and friend to the royal family. Our little world at South Farm was gently pushed into the background as she and Farmer Elwood took their place in the wider fashionable world.

After their departure the house fell silent and I went upstairs to pack up my small bag of belongings and Beth's clothes and toys, her little cloth dolly and blankets that she couldn't sleep without. The driver was to take us to the doctor's house in the afternoon and we must be all ready for him.

We had a light lunch with Mrs Fisher and Cilla in the kitchen before I gave them both a hug and promised to return shortly to hear all the news. I went to the stables and said goodbye to the gardeners and stable lads. I looked to see if Wilf was about and wondered at my sadness that he wasn't. Oh, how I would miss everyone. I gathered Beth in my arms and we waited patiently for Cecilia's driver to collect us.

I have been at the doctors for some days now and my world has changed completely. My day has a working purpose and I find I like it very much. The small household rises early and we all eat together in the panelled dining room. The doctor is frequently absent on calls: he is a very busy man and when he is away Mr and Mrs Jenkins sit with Beth and me to take a filling breakfast. Mrs Jenkins tells me about Dr Grieve's views on eating properly and very soon I fall into the habit of eating several courses comprising eggs and different meats or fish, whereas, at the farm, I barely managed more than a scrap of fresh bread and jam or honey. I am happy to see Beth tuck into her food so enthusiastically.

I start my working day in the doctor's study where he discusses the cases he expects to see and how I can help him either in the management of dressings, the preparation of treatments and making notes of his prescriptions and thoughts. I particularly like the preparation of medicaments to receipts that he has devised himself or received from colleagues. We see patients from nine in the morning, by appointment, and I am present for most of those. As soon as he has seen everyone he goes up to his office in the town and undertakes his coroner's duties. We take a small luncheon together with Mr and Mrs Jenkins and discuss the town news, of which there always seems to be a lot. The doctor sees the important folk and the Jenkins the small tradesmen and servants so between them they appear to know everything that is going on. It is very entertaining and with so much chatter Beth absorbs it all and does her best to repeat some of the words she hears. It thrills me that she will know words early on in her life that others might never know; I think I develop an ambition for her education.

One of the biggest changes for me personally is that I am always in company. I am rarely alone nowadays and at times I find that quite tiring. The doctor insists that I take time off to spend with Beth and others of my choosing. In reality there are not many who are of my choosing. With Cecilia gone nearly everyone that I mix with has a purpose for being in my company. I sometimes sit, in the evening, and think how I can make friends with people who seek my company for not what I do or am but for myself. In my heart I hoped that Wilf would fulfil that role or perhaps members of my new family but I couldn't force these desires forward – I had to hope that people would seek me out.

Whilst I worked with the doctor I left Beth in Mrs Jenkin's care and occasionally Mrs Makepiece or her grandfather would take her out into the town for a change of scene. She is developing rapidly and it is important to me that she learns from a number of people. Miss Wardle offered to look after her on occasions but I didn't think that a good idea as she was so preoccupied with Sally and the piglets Beth would probably end up in the stye with them.

So, despite being busy and excited by my new role in life I felt myself to be lonely without Cecilia and I hoped she would return soon.

One memorable day occurred about a month after moving to Lewes when I had not one, but two, visitors. Wilf called in at lunchtime and was invited into the kitchen to see how we were settled. He stood, ill at ease, and only found his tongue when Mrs Jenkins kindly suggested that I show him the garden. Beth was still munching her way through her food so he and I were able to walk round undisturbed. Still he didn't say much and I wondered why he had come if he had nothing to say to me. I tried several conversations to no avail until I mentioned that I had been to Southease, against his advice.

I saw him stiffen up. ‘And what did you find, Esther, at Southease?'

‘I found my family Wilf, I haven't seen them since but I am glad to know that I have some.'

‘And their names?'

‘I have an Aunt Tilly, my mother's sister. A grandfather and two cousins, Sam and…'

‘…and Jeremiah,' he finished for me.

‘Aye, do you know them?'

‘I do that. They were with the men who killed my father. They beat him when he tried to stop them stealing from the farm. He took a long time to die, Esther and he told me that those two boys were part of the gang.'

‘Stealing…?'

‘Aye, stealing.'

But what…?'

‘It's past history Esther. I put it behind me but that family destroyed mine and I can't see you any more if you are a Kempe.'

‘But I am not one really,' I protested.

‘You are, you're a Kempe. It's in your blood. even if you now have the name of Coad
.

He left and I sunk to the floor, shocked beyond belief.

I had a lot of medications to make that afternoon which gave me no time to dwell on what had passed between us but I moved and thought as if in a trance. I fulfilled my duties before leaving the house and sat by myself in the nearby meadow. I had barely begun to pick over the angry words, the implications, before I was astonished to see my cousin Sam coming towards me. He called ‘Esther, cousin. I was told by the old lady at the house that this is where you were.' He dropped to the grass beside me plucking a long stem and chewing on it as he looked me over.

I was never more flustered and was unable to get a word out before he invited me, at his mother's request, to the house at Southease for a bite on Sunday and to bring the little tacker with me. Sam would bring a cart over in the morning and collect us and deliver us back later that afternoon.

I blustered and hedged from giving a reply blaming my workload, Beth's health, the doctor's needs and anything that would prevent me from going until I had thought this all through.

‘Nonsense,' he said. ‘That old lady says that Sunday is your own to do with as you will. I will be here about noon.' I was mortified that I couldn't take control of the situation, only managing to blurt out that I had undertaken to spend time with Billy-alone, my friend.

‘Well, bring him too, if you are worried about being with your family, the family that you sought out.'

I blustered some more saying, ‘No, of course I'm not worried. It's just that I was surprised to see you. Of course I will come and I will bring Billy and Beth too. Please thank Aunt Tilly for thinking so kindly of me.' I rose from the grass and brushed myself down before wishing my cousin goodbye and hurrying back to the house. I looked back to see him standing, watching. I had the uncomfortable feeling that he was laughing at me and, despite the warm evening, I felt chilled.

Later in the week I made my way to see Mrs Makepiece. Beth and I sat in her tiny garden as I told her about my two visitors.

‘Well,' she said, surprised. ‘I remember when Wilf's father were attacked. Wilf was but a young-un then and it were never known all who done it. He were shot in the shoulder and despite being given the best care from his employers, the Elwoods, he took a fever and later died. Did Wilf say they did it definitely? I know some were punished but there was no mention of boys.'

‘He did, with much bitterness. He said he couldn't see me because I was one of them.'

I am ashamed to say that I burst into tears. I had found my family and then tried to deny them, all in a matter of a few weeks, for the sake of a young man who had taken my fancy. Was that how it had happened with my mother?

‘'Ee lass, don't fret so. You must go on your visit and see what you can glean from them. Wilf will come round, he can't blame you for their deeds and it were over ten years ago. What I want to know is how he knows it were them. The two lads would have been too young though I s'pect they were up to all sorts. Your grandfather is suspicioned to be a smuggler but then so is everyone else who lives down the river.'

‘How do you know that?' I asked defensively.

‘I made it my business to find out who the Kempes are, and there is a deal of talk about they so you must keep your wits about you girl. Make sure Billy stays with you.'

‘So what do they want with me then?' I wondered aloud.

‘Perhaps they is not all bad. Perhaps your aunt be sick of menfolk with their fighting and drinking ways. Perhaps she hankers for some feminine company and a little one to coo over. She can't have had it easy with only an old man for company and more, and then, later when nature takes its course just getting two rough boys – both taught in the old ways.'

As we walked back to the doctor's I thought of what she had said, implied, and her advice. Aunt Tilly didn't strike me as a bullied, downtrodden creature just there for the needs of her menfolk. In truth I saw her as the kingpin of the household but perhaps it wasn't always that way. When my great-grandmother died and my mother left Southease, Aunt Tilly would have been alone with just my grandfather for company. No wonder she was bitter. I tried to clear my head of unsavoury thoughts but I went to bed that night with a headache and a curious dullness of spirit.

Sunday dawned bright and clear and after breakfast I put up a basket of biscuits and homemade jam. I also took a few eggs from Mrs Jenkins' well-stocked larder. For the menfolk I had purchased three different neckerchiefs and a pretty embroidered hankie for Aunt Tilly. I took pleasure in using part of my newly-earned wages on these little gifts. While I was at it I also bought two ounces of sweetmeats for Billy and Cilla to have later.

Billy arrived mid-morning and we all sat in the garden and played with Beth until I heard the cart arriving out at the front of the house. As we clattered off I looked up and saw the doctor watching from his bedroom window. There had been no medicaments to be made up today though I wished otherwise.

Beth was very excited at this venture out and her spirits lifted ours so by the time we got to Southease we were all very jolly. I had dressed her with care and she had a new sun bonnet to match her pretty dress – a parting gift from Cecilia, with a crisp white overskirt to help keep the dress clean. She was also wearing some tiny little slippers – a great novelty which she was constantly admiring. As we pulled up outside the cottage I was very thankful that we could focus on Beth rather than be forced to notice other things.

The kitchen had been tidied up and even the windows cleaned. The dog was banished to an outhouse from where he maintained a mournful howl. It was a little squashed as we mingled in the small room so I asked if we should walk down to the river and tire Beth's high spirits which could easily descend into tears. Everyone except grandfather thought that a good idea and off we went. After a few paces the trees thinned out and we could see the distant downs beyond the valley floor. The way was dry on a well trodden path but on either side were deep reed beds rising above our heads from which came the chirps of waterfowl and other mysterious but natural noises. In the distance I could see some cattle on the lower reaches of the hills. When we got near the river I looked backwards along the way we had come, it was very difficult to see the line of the path and I shivered at the thought of trying to find the way blind. The breeze licked the top of the reeds and there was an eerie whispering. I asked if many used the river paths and got an abrupt reply from Jeremiah.

‘Only those as knows the way use it, all others disappears.'

We climbed up a small bank in order to look at the flat grey waters. I clutched Beth up in my arms, remembering our sad history with this river. ‘Look,' I said, ‘the sun is hiding, Beth.'

Sam, lifted her from my arms and she played with the bristles on his chin, laughing uproariously as he tickled her.

We returned to the cottage and settled down outside on a few blankets. I unloaded my basket and gave the gifts to my family. The biscuits were well received but I thought Aunt Tilly a bit ungracious when I presented the eggs.

‘We have our own hens girl, we're not beggars, though we do not live in the style you do.'

‘I am sure I never thought so Aunt, I just did not see any hens when I came last time – there was no harm intended.'

‘Don't mind her,' grunted Sam, ‘She is not used to polite society.'

Aunt Tilly returned to her kitchen before producing a small table laden with good plain food.

We all set to and demolished the savouries and cakes. My cousins helped themselves without any polite delays for the ladies. Beth copied them and grabbed handfuls of cake and in the end I didn't hold back either as there would have been nothing left for me and I was hungry.

It was a pleasant afternoon and my aunt went to great lengths to make us comfortable. My cousins were good company with lots of joshing and boisterous games involving both Billy and Beth. I did on one occasion catch a rather strange look exchanged between Tilly and her sons but put it down to their collective attempt to make us feel at home.

Just as we were talking about getting ready to leave, Jeremiah, who had wandered off behind the cottage, returned and exchanged a few quiet words with his brother. From that moment on I felt we were in the way and were hurried into the cart, our belongings pushed in around us.

They all called goodbye and disappeared immediately into the cottage as if they couldn't wait to be rid of us. Sam was to drive us back but suddenly he turned to Billy and suggested that he take the reins and he, Sam, would collect the cart from Lewes tomorrow. Then he was gone. I was dumbfounded and looking back was amazed to see both Sam and Jeremiah on horseback and heading in the opposite direction at great speed.

‘What was all that about?' I asked Billy.

‘Reckon they got a message.'

‘What sort of message?'

‘I dunno, but there was some comment about them cows on the hill, they said they was looking in the right direction and laughed.'

‘How can that be a message?'

‘Well, if they be facing the town it mean one thing and if they be facing the sea, it be meaning another. It is how messages are sent quickly from one area to another, they might light beacons but then others understand that so by changing the direction of tethered livestock the message is only understood by those in the know. See?'

I was not sure that I did see. ‘What do you think the message is about?'

‘Smugglers' business. They got lamps inside and all sorts of stuff used by the gentlemen and they ain't botherin' to hide it.'

‘Billy, do you think them capable of killing people?'

‘I dunno lass but I wouldn't want to be on t'wrong side of they and I don't reckon you should notice anything odd.'

‘Do you remember what Wilf said about Southease Billy?'

‘Aye.'

‘Well it was to do with the Kempes. He blames them for his father's death and won't have anything to do with me now, Billy, because he says I come from the Kempe family and it was they.'

‘Did you like him then Esther?'

‘Aye, I did that.'

We travelled on in silence until we got to the doctor's house. The cart was unhitched and the horse stabled nearby as I went indoors to reflect on a very unusual day.