Three Simple Steps: A Map to Success in Business and Life (15 page)

As inspired as I was by their stories, I was equally intrigued that their systems for creating ideas were so similar. This system is Step Two of
Three Simple Steps
. You will not find it in Hill’s published book, although it’s interesting that something similar was in the original manuscript.

Hill called his system the “Invisible Counselors Technique” and claimed that it allowed him to tap into the imaginary minds of anyone living or passed on, to source ideas and inspirations. Hill said,
“While the meetings of my cabinet may be purely fictional, and the meetings existent only in my own imagination, they have led me into glorious paths of adventure, rekindled an appreciation of true greatness, encouraged creative endeavor, and emboldened the expression of honest thought
.”

Later, publishers edited out large parts of this chapter, fearing that Hill’s devout Christian audience might question his sanity.

I have no such fear, because I do not need this book to make me rich. What you are about to read may at times seem unusual coming from a successful and pragmatic businessman, but it is what many successful self-made men and women claim made the difference between a life of adventure and a life in the quicksand. All it takes is one thought, one nanosecond of inspiration, to change your life forever, but you have to behave a little crazily to get it.

I
N 2007, HARVARD MEDICAL
School conducted a study with volunteers in a lab, who were asked to learn and practice a five-finger piano exercise. A neuroscientist instructed the members of one group to play as fluidly as they could, trying to keep to the metronome’s sixty beats per minute. Every day for five days, the volunteers practiced for two hours, and then underwent a transcranial-magnetic-stimulation test, which allowed scientists to infer the function of neurons.

The tests showed that after a week of practice, the stretch of motor cortex devoted to these finger movements took over
surrounding areas. The finding was in line with a growing number of discoveries showing that greater use of a particular muscle causes the brain to devote more cortical growth to it.

Another group of volunteers were asked merely to think about practicing the piano exercise. They played the simple piece of music in their heads, holding their hands still while imagining how they would move their fingers. When scientists compared the test data on the two groups, they found the region of motor cortex that controls the piano-playing fingers also expanded in the brains of volunteers who imagined playing the music. The discovery showed that
mental training had the power to change the physical structure of the brain, and that the brain cannot distinguish between the physical and the imagined
.

In neuroscience, the prevailing belief was that the adult human brain is essentially hard-wired, so that by the time we reach adulthood we are pretty much stuck with what we have. Now, in its place, came the realization that the adult brain retains impressive powers of neuroplasticity—the ability to change its structure and function in response to experiences either real or
imagined
.

Until the 1980s, science believed the nervous system to be fixed and incapable of regeneration. Growth of neurons was considered most active during prenatal development. As we age, neurons atrophy. Now scientists believe new neurons are born continually throughout adulthood. Following a number of studies, such as the one described above, scientists even dare to suggest that we can rewire the brain.

Step Two is all about rewiring our neural networks such that it becomes natural for us to create brilliant ideas. There are three aspects to the second step. The first is recognizing patterns of unwanted behavior. The second is to consider the implications of changing those patterns, because change is not for everyone, and then committing to keep or change those patterns.
The third is a technique to change the way our brains work so that moments of insight become more common.

Just as I recognized the patterns of behavior in my ancestral line, you need to contemplate your own situation. Because your environment produces your mentality, you tend to adopt the same patterns of behavior as those you look up to. It is recognized that those who have been abused can more easily become abusers. People who endure a bad relationship tend to repeat the experience through life.

Professions such as physicians or lawyers often repeat through family lines, and I can trace the influence of soldiering in mine. That is not an issue, but along with the job, we often reproduce the attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs, some of which could be harmful to the pioneering spirit we need if we want to get out of quicksand. Take some time to review the lives of your ancestors. If you consider that they were stuck in quicksand, chances are you exhibit similar patterns in some aspects of your life.

A friend of mine split from her partner after thirteen years and much psychological abuse. In the last seven years, she has had four different relationships, each of which seemed to me like a clone of her first. Each one has ended abruptly when possessiveness became an issue. Our friend cannot see that she is attracting the same kind of partner and repeating the same behavioral pattern with each of her chosen mates.

Recently, I had dinner with this friend’s mother, and learned of her three abusive relationships with the three different fathers my friend had grown up with. Mother and daughter repeated the pattern, just like George and Harry.

Another friend is continually moving from one job to another. After each move, she tells me how hard it was to work with a certain person who made her life miserable. Having worked with her, I am fairly sure that the cause of the problem is my friend, whose work style is paranoid and inflexible. She cannot see that she is repeating the pattern and triggering the repetitive response in a colleague.

Once we open our eyes and minds, we can see these behavioral patterns everywhere. Take a pleasant hour in a quiet place to consider what repeated emotions, thoughts, and reactions appear in your jobs, social networks, and relationships. Do you find yourself job-hopping? Are you in and out of debt? You are not to blame, and neither are your parents or partners. The patterns exist because your mentality has been unguarded and your neurons are wired a certain way. Now that you have control of your mentality, changes to behavior in those aspects of your life will result in changes to your neurons and catapult you forward. You do, however, have to want to change, and before you decide, you need to consider three major implications of change.

        
Once you figure out what patterns you need to change in your life, those things won’t always change in the direction you expect. When it comes to success mentality, I call the way things change
the way of the winding staircase
. Consider the desire to move from the ground floor to the second story. Because you are confident the stairs are connected to the second floor, you don’t hesitate to take them. You have done it a thousand times and your neurons are wired such that you know when to start and when to stop.

        
Now imagine that a friendly Martian beams into the room, and asks to see your bedroom. You show her the
stairs, and tell her to start climbing. Because she beams from one place to another, she has never seen stairs before and her neurons don’t know what to do. At most parts of the winding staircase, she is facing away from the direction that she wants to go. Because she does not have certainty that the stairs are connected to her intended destination, the first time she turns a corner she thinks it a trick and descends.

        
In my life, achievement has often come the way of the winding staircase. It is all too easy to become discouraged when we can’t see, and therefore believe, we are heading in the right direction. You have to trust in the way of the winding staircase because, when it comes to success, seeing is not believing, but believing leads to seeing. When you commit to change, it means staying on the staircase, no matter what. It is the unshakeable belief I discovered in every successful self-made person I read about, even Hill.

        
The techniques described in this book work completely. They don’t work fractionally or within a range. If you have been thinking about debt you don’t want and also dreaming about wealth in equal measures, what shows up in your life is the sum total of that equation, which is nothing, because they have cancelled each other out. This is an exact science. The thoughts you send out become your reality, not a diluted version of them.

        
Once you tip the balance in your favor by exercising more mentality control, things change dramatically. Your performance at work will improve, and you will get noticed. Promotion brings more responsibility. You
may change jobs, perhaps careers, or you could move to new states or countries. In leaving the quicksand, you also often leave many of the people you have been with through your whole life to this point. Do you have the courage to walk away without looking back, knowing perhaps that there is resentment, envy, and criticism left behind?

        
If you are sure, then the next important step is to make a formal commitment to change. If you decided to trade in your car, you would expect to invest the time in researching the new choice. You might visit a dealership or two. You would sit down at someone’s desk and negotiate pricing. Then you would formally commit to a purchase, which would include signing a document. When you go to that extent just for a lump of metal, why would you take committing to changing your life any less seriously?

        
There’s a popular story in which a person sells his or her soul to the devil for personal gain, but then changes his or her mind and tries to cancel the covenant. Once made, however, a covenant cannot be broken. You are going to make a covenant with yourself, and because it cannot be withdrawn, you should treat the process with the same reverence as you would a job interview or car purchase.

        
The adventures you set in motion when you commit to change your life cannot be undone. There is no going back and no returning to the old friendships or your prior boss. This change is for real and it is permanent. Are you absolutely sure you want to change your life?

If so, then to get in the right mindset to make a commitment to change, I suggest you set this up as a formal appointment. Make it official so it achieves the right degree of importance in your life. Add it to a calendar as you would a business meeting. It might feel silly to make a formal appointment with yourself but compared to what I am going to ask you to do later, this is only mildly insane. Besides, no one needs to know about it but you.

By treating this formally, you ensure you do not fall into the trap of letting something in your life interrupt or overtake it. Nothing is more important than your personal growth. I treat all personal growth techniques and events with the same reverence and importance as any business meeting.

For the location, select a place that has special meaning for you. It should be a quiet place, and if possible, outdoors or connected to nature in some way. A park bench or riverbank is ideal.

I like to go to a particular beach cove whenever I need to make a commitment to a new direction. It is hard to access, but I am usually certain to be alone. I take a blanket and comfortable clothes. A glass of wine helps me relax, and I always take some of my favorite snacks. Doing this in a ritualistic style ensures I don’t fall into the trap of rushing or skipping anything. Of course, I take a pad and pen. It is essential to do this alone. Above all, switch off that cell phone or pager.

For most people, this is a tougher task than it should be. The Center for Neural Decision Making at Temple University performed studies about how the brain processes information, which were reported in the
Denver Post
in 2011. Their research has found that as the flow of information increases, activity increases in the region of the brain responsible for decisions,
solutions, and control of emotions but only up to a point. When the brain is flooded with too much information, activity in the same region suddenly drops off. The center for smart thinking shuts down at a time when you probably need it the most.

This has implications for the way we live our lives today. People admit to an almost compulsive need to answer emails, texts, tweets, and voice messages, and get nervous when their own do not receive immediate responses. The study showed that people find it impossible to take time off in our culture anymore without being anxious the whole time and with minds racing.

They concluded that “only when people take the time to quiet down the left brain, to forget about to-do lists and to unplug from all input, solutions often percolate up from the subconscious. History is filled with stories like this. A period of not thinking about the problem, then the answer simply appears.”

You are committing to change your life, so you have to shut off the outside world, and find a way to stop your mind racing just for a little while. Set up your place. Sit or lie comfortably. Uncork that wine. Shut off the phone. Shut down the left brain.

As you relax, gently review your situation in life without judgment or prejudice. Think about all the good things happening, the things you are grateful for, and the people you like. Consider some of the things you would change if you had a magic wand. What patterns of lifestyle or behavior have been trapping you? Imagine the joy of changing those.

Now try not to think about anything. To help with shutting down the left side of the brain, you can take your conscious self out of the way by simply focusing on your breath. Breathe deeply in and exhale forcefully. Follow the air as it enters your nostrils, sweeps down into your lungs, and forces your diaphragm down. As you exhale slowly, follow the warmed air back out of the lungs and down your nostrils, out into the universe. Pause for a moment and repeat. Repeat ten times, and if it helps, count each full breath.

This is a wonderfully relaxing exercise, and it has many health benefits. We are, however, only interested in one aspect, which is the way this allows you to access your neural network. It is not the mission of this book to explain why, but this simple breathing cycle is powerful. Please do not do the breathing cycle more than ten times.