Three Weddings and a Baby (21 page)

He realised that after Becky had deserted him his mission to protect the world had silently changed into protecting himself. He’d believed
he could make himself invincible, believed he could get away with ignoring it all.

So as he climbed he opened the door in the back of his head and looked for monsters. They were real, all right, but not nearly as big and scary as he’d thought they’d be—anger at Becky for leaving him, rage because she’d never told him about Mollie. She’d stolen three years of his daughter’s life from him and he couldn’t even shout at her for it! Just this thought had left him silent with fury for hours. But there was also guilt, sadness, fear. And, as he took them out, one by one, and shone his torch on them, they all vanished into monster dust.

So, while Alex was physically always on the move, inside he found the stillness he’d been searching for. Alex wasn’t a man who needed to weep or shout or punch things to access his emotions. All he needed to do was to stay still long enough for them to catch up with him.

Jennie hated the silence in the house. Mollie had gone to visit Alex’s parents for the weekend, and she’d been here alone too many hours. Alex had been gone for six days and was due home tomorrow afternoon, not long before Mollie’s grandparents returned her. She knew
it had been her idea to set her husband free and send him off to the Highlands for a week, but she hadn’t factored in how difficult it would be to be left behind. Waiting. Wondering. Endlessly dissecting every conversation they’d ever had. It was driving her nuts.

She threw down the magazine she’d been reading and hauled herself out of her bubble bath. Even this hadn’t managed to calm her down. It was odd. Although she was a city girl, more used to heels than green wellies, what she really wanted to do was go for a bracing walk in the fresh country air. She wrapped a towel around herself and peeked out of the window.

It was overcast, and they’d had nothing but rain for the last few days, but the weather lady on the breakfast news had said it was going to brighten up later.

She got dressed and then went downstairs and grabbed her cardigan off the hook by the back door and plunged her feet into her bright pink flowery wellington boots. Boring old goose-poop green? Not on your life. She might be adapting to life in a village, but she wasn’t ready for ugly footwear just yet.

There were plenty of other walkers out this fine Saturday afternoon, but it wasn’t long before Jennie lost her sense of camaraderie and
got irritated with them. What had happened? Had the whole of south-east London decided to leave suburban bliss to tramp down country lanes? The footpath was heaving with them—muddy dogs bounding backwards and forward, children screaming in delight or whining about how far they were walking. Parents who just didn’t seem to care about either. And she could tell they weren’t locals because their wellies were just as garish as hers.

Of course, the pub was packed with them, too. Not a table to be had, unless she wanted to wait forty minutes. Which she didn’t. So she gave up on the idea of a Caesar salad and a nice glass of wine and headed for home, but on her way she passed the little church on the edge of the Elmhurst estate. She stopped outside the lychgate and looked up the path to the carved oak doors. They were closed, and she had no idea if they’d be locked on a Saturday, but she’d felt strangely serene last time she’d sat on one of those pews. Perhaps it would work again, and at least she’d be alone in there.

The vicar must be a trusting sort because she found the heavy doors swung open when she pushed them. She closed them behind her, not wanting to give any of the tourists any ideas, and then slowly walked down the aisle, careful not to let her boots squeak too
loudly on the flagstones, and chose a pew not far from the back. One with a pillar to lean against.

It was cool but not chilly inside the church. Jennie rested against the pillar, listening to her own breath. The gap between
in
and
out
became longer and longer, and soon she felt better, slightly less frazzled. They should bottle the air in this place. It was good stuff.

After a while she decided it might be rude to sit here in complete silence.

I’m back again. Nice place you’ve got here…

Small talk? Surely she could do better than that. She was famed across London for her witty banter. Only…being cheeky didn’t seem right either. She sat still for a moment.

Honesty. Now she remembered. This was the place for that.

I need another favour
, she said silently.
I wouldn’t ask if it was just for me but, you see, it’s for Mollie, too… I chose him last time I sat here. I just need him to choose me back. Do you think that’s possible?

Nothing happened. No sunbeam streamed through a stained glass window. No cherubic fanfare burst the silence, but deep down inside, in a place Jennie hardly knew she had, something came to rest. She sat there for ages,
just enjoying the feeling, letting it wash over her, not in big crashing waves; the sensation was similar to the frothy surf that tickled the beach. Soft and rhythmic and soothing.

When she’d drunk her fill of the peace, she stood slowly, walked to the front of the church and stopped right in front of the altar. She tipped her head back to look at the ceiling, got lost in the patterns of the vaulting for a while, and then she turned her head to look back up the aisle.

So different from where she’d said her vows to Alex. It all seemed silly now—eloping to Vegas in an almighty rush. Getting married in a glitzy little chapel by a man in rhinestone-studded ministers’ robes, whose teeth were a couple of shades too white. She could have done without the mini-skirted angel as ring-bearer, too.

She turned to face the altar. None of that seemed serious enough to match up to what she and Alex had been through, what they were still facing. But she hadn’t understood then how hard marriage could be. In her mind it had all been diamonds and confetti.

But that was just the wedding.

What happened the day after was the true test of the vows. And the day after that. And the day after that. She closed her eyes to stop
the sudden stinging. She wanted the
day after that
to keep coming with Alex. She didn’t want them to stop. Please, please, if he could just feel the same way.

It might have been in less than solemn surroundings, but she’d meant the promises she’d made him with all of her heart. They, at least, had been unadorned, no glitz to make them seem better than they really were.

The tears had just started to fall in earnest when she heard one of the heavy doors moan. No doubt it was one of those fancy-wellied hikers who’d come to have a nose. Why couldn’t they just leave her alone?

She swiped the tears away. Maybe she could bypass them by moving swiftly down the side aisle and be out of the door before anyone had guessed she’d been crying. She lifted her head to check her exit path and froze.

She recognised that silhouette, knew it by heart.

It was Alex.

What was he doing here? How had he found her? He wasn’t supposed to be back in Elmhurst until tomorrow.

She’d got used to the dim church interior and the bright light flooding in around him made it impossible to see his face, let alone read his features. She turned to face him fully,
begging him with her eyes to just get it over and done with, to deliver her fate.

And then the room was moving, shrinking as Alex got closer and closer. No… It was Alex who was moving.
Running
. It should have only been a few seconds before he reached her, but somehow it took much longer, and as he got closer she started to see his face more clearly.

He was looking at her. Only at her.

No longer wearing that blank mask she’d become accustomed to. His eyes were full of fire and determination and…

That was when he went out of focus, all blurry behind a curtain of tears, but it didn’t matter. She’d remember that look for the rest of her life. It was her Alex. And he was running
back
to her.

He pulled her into his arms so hard it was almost a collision. She didn’t care. This was where she’d wanted to be, what she’d waited for. She heard herself laughing a long way away, and then the sound stopped, cut off by Alex’s lips.

Some time later he whispered something in her ear. Jennie didn’t catch it. She was too happy to bother to make sense of mere sounds. When she didn’t reply he tried again.

‘Jennie…? Will you marry me?’

The clouds of bliss parted enough for her to pull back a little and frown at him. ‘Huh?’

Alex smiled at her and she almost forgot to hold on to that thought. He had such a wonderful smile, and it had been missing for such a long time.

‘But…we’re already married, you dummy.’

Alex just laughed. ‘Is that a yes? ‘

‘I…but…but…’

He wrapped himself around her. ‘Let’s do it again. Here, if you like.’

‘W-why? I don’t need it, Alex.’ She reached out and touched his lips, explored them with her fingertips. ‘All I want is you.’

His expression became serious. ‘That’s why I want to do it properly this time. Not on a whim, but knowing what we want, with our eyes open to all we’ve been through and all we’ve yet to face. And I want
you
, Jennie. Always.’

Everything went fuzzy again.

‘I’ve been such a fool,’ he muttered.

Jennie swiped her eyes again. ‘But you’re
my
fool. And you mustn’t beat yourself up about it, Mr Perfectionist. You just needed to let yourself grieve for what life threw at you. No one could have held on longer, or been stronger, but even the most invincible of us
couldn’t have endured what you did without getting wounded along the way.’

He looked off behind her shoulder, then fixed his gaze on her face again. ‘The funny thing is, once I did what you said, once I stared it all eyeball to eyeball, even though it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I found a sense of peace. Nothing worse could happen—except for losing you. I finally saw what I had and what I was about to crush, and I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to come and find you.’

She frowned slightly. ‘How
did
you find me in here?’

He smiled and gave a little shrug. ‘I asked at the pub and someone said they’d seen you come in here. Can’t hide anything in a village this size.’ He looked around, up at the high ceiling and then back at her. ‘Do you want to renew our vows here? It’s a lovely place.’

Nice place you have here…

Jennie started to laugh.

That was quick! Thank you!

‘What’s funny?’ Alex said, slightly perplexed.

Jennie just grabbed him and pulled her face close to his. ‘I love you,’ she murmured, still feeling the joy welling inside her. And Alex replied in kind, although he didn’t need words to do it.

S
TEP
, together. Step, together
. Mollie floated down the aisle just as she’d been shown. It was harder work than she’d thought it would be, because she kept getting excited and going too fast and then almost stepping on the edge of Jennie’s lovely white dress.

Jennie looked like a princess, with her hair all up and that thing… What was it called? A tia… A ti…. Well, that sparkly crown-thing in her hair. Her dress was long and smooth and white, and Mollie had decided she wanted one just like it if she ever got married or became a princess. Although, maybe she’d make sure there were more diamonds and pearls on hers. Jennie’s was pretty, but it was a bit plain. Not a frill or a bow in sight.

And Daddy almost looked like a prince in his dark suit. He certainly looked very solemn. It was just as well princes didn’t wear sparkly crown-things, because it would have
looked silly on him. She bit back a giggle and brought her bouquet up higher to cover her mouth.

She still didn’t quite understand why Daddy and Jennie needed to get married twice. Hadn’t it worked properly the first time? Still, she didn’t really mind. She got to wear this lovely white dress with the dark green sash, and got to carry flowers, and everybody she passed as she walked down the aisle behind Daddy and Jennie made a face that told her she looked cute. She pretended not to notice, but secretly she was rather pleased.

The only thing she was sad about was that Mummy wasn’t here to see her. She’d heard Daddy say something once about ups and downs and how the mountains had helped him when he felt sad.

They’d stopped at the front of the church now and the vicar person was saying something boring in his up-and-down voice, so Mollie thought a little bit more about mountains. There weren’t any in Elmhurst, but maybe, when she was sad, she could climb up to the top of the climbing frame in the garden. That was very tall. She still got sad and cross sometimes, even though she wasn’t always sure why, but Jennie had said that was okay, and when she felt like that Jennie would
give her a big hug and Daddy would sit down on the floor in the living room with her and they’d play games and read books. She bit her lip. Maybe she wouldn’t need the climbing frame after all.

Everyone was singing now, so Mollie took a chance to look behind her. She could see her new friends waving at her from somewhere near the back. She wanted to wave back, but she wasn’t sure bridesmaids were allowed to do that, so she just smiled.

The singing stopped and Daddy and Jennie were looking at each other and saying mushy things. Jennie was crying a little bit, so Mollie dug into the secret pocket in her skirt and handed her the hankie Granny Marion had made her put in there earlier.

Everybody laughed. Everybody. The whole church!

She hadn’t done anything funny, had she? Daddy was laughing, too, and he scooped her up in his arms and held her close as he and Jennie finished being mushy. Everyone was looking at her.

And then the vicar said Jennie and Daddy could kiss, so Mollie wriggled out of Daddy’s arms and got out of the way before they started getting sloppy. She pulled a face as they started kissing. Yuck!

Everyone laughed again.

Mollie pouted and held her chin high in the air. Some people just didn’t get it. Weddings were serious things. She sneaked a look at Daddy and Jennie.