She had no response to that. She simply kept staring. She thought perhaps she hadn’t heard him correctly.
He wasn’t looking at her. He was pouring himself another drink.
Surprisingly, he broke their tense silence. “You haven’t asked about what he said.” His eyes came to her and his were completely blank.
“What?” She was still recovering from the knowledge that he’d let Jeff corner her.
“You haven’t asked me to explain what he said.”
Lily stared at him harder, if it could be credited, and then threw her hands out in agitation, blowing a breath out to underline just how annoyed she was.
Then she started pacing.
“You already told me what you want me to know. It wasn’t any of my business in the first place, but you told me. If there’s more, you’ll tell me when you’re ready. Nothing you say or he could say would change how I feel about you –”
She stopped talking because she heard his heavy crystal glass slam down against the top of the chest where he kept his liquor and Lily, who had her back to him and was in mid-pace, whirled around.
He was stalking straight toward her.
His face was filled with…
She stared in awe.
Now Nate was staring at her like she was a juicy steak and he wasn’t a rabid dog but a starving man offered a feast, a feast that was Lily.
“What’s the matter?” she asked.
He kept coming.
She started backing up then faster as he was gaining quickly, “Nate, what’s wrong?”
He didn’t explain but when he caught her and dragged her to his bedroom, he didn’t push her onto the bed, he threw her on it. Without a further word, he made love to her in a way he’d never done before, it was fierce and violent and possessive. When she was nearly ready to climax, he stopped it, stopped her and made her say his name over and over and over again, then he finally let her finish.
It was glorious and, she felt intuitively, it was somehow immensely important and although Lily revelled in the former, she didn’t quite understand the latter.
* * * * *
The next time they went to Victor and Laura’s house for dinner neither Jeff nor Danielle were in attendance and Lily found that a small blessing.
Lily had tried to find a job but wasn’t having much luck. Maxine was forwarding her mail and her mortgage was due, her bills were due and she didn’t have enough money to pay them.
What she wanted most in the world was to be a writer, to live her life sitting at her computer and telling her stories. She didn’t bring her computer with her from Clevedon because she figured they’d move that later and when she confided to Nate, sleepily after he’d made love to her one evening, her dreams of being a novelist, he’d told her not to worry about getting a job and just concentrate on writing.
Easy for him to say, he didn’t have bills mounting up and no money coming in.
He’d told her he’d take care of everything but Lily couldn’t ask him for money. She wasn’t like that and further, wasn’t raised like that. She’d have to find a way to take care of her own problems.
However Nate, she was finding, was a very perceptive man. He knew as the second week slid along that something was bothering her and he asked her about it.
Lily lied. She hated it but she had to do it. She didn’t want anything, outside of his awful siblings, to mar their idyllic life. She was embarrassed she’d put herself in this position, especially the credit cards. The amounts weren’t astronomical but they were when you didn’t have any money.
So she doubled her efforts to find a job,
any
job.
Late the second week, she’d gone out to lunch with Laura and Laura realised something was wrong straight away.
“It’s just something I need to sort out,” Lily had responded when Laura asked.
“Is it Nathaniel?” Laura queried, her eyes gentle.
“No! Of course not, everything is fine, great,
wonderful
with Nate.”
Laura smiled then the smile wavered. “Is it Jeff?”
Without hesitation Lily grabbed the woman’s hand and squeezed it with reassurance and just shook her head. They didn’t need to talk about Jeff, ever.
Laura’s smile strengthened again and then she said, “Whatever it is, just tell Nathaniel. He’ll sort it out. He’s good at that kind of thing.”
She said it in a way that meant he was good at
every
kind of thing. Lily couldn’t help herself, she hugged the other woman and Laura returned the hug with a strength that astonished her.
Laura may have raised two terrible children but surprisingly, she was an excellent mother to the one she did not bear.
That night in bed (unless they were at the dining room table, a restaurant or at Victor and Laura’s, they seemed always to be in bed, though Lily wasn’t complaining), pressed up against Nate’s side, her arm wrapped around his stomach, she’d said, “Do you think we were a bit hasty?”
It was a silly question, obviously they
were
a bit hasty. They’d barely known each other and moved in together – or he’d demanded she move in with him and she’d done it.
Nate still didn’t talk very much. He didn’t share very much at all. Lily didn’t mind this. He did the same with his family, it wasn’t just her. He listened and laughed when she told stories about her family and Fazire and growing up in Indiana. But most of the time he was working. Most of the other time, they were making love. Any other time there was left over they were eating so they could have the strength to make love. Talking wasn’t exactly their strong suit.
Now she had significant money troubles and didn’t know him enough to know how to broach it with him, ask for his help.
It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him. It was that she didn’t want to take advantage of him.
He was already housing her and feeding her in great style. His flat was fantastic, she knew a bit about London real estate and it had to cost a mint, not to mention he had groceries delivered and they were from a very posh store
and
he had a housekeeper that came in once a week to clean and do the laundry.
Lily was certainly not going to ask him to pay her mortgage. She’d considered asking him to find her a job at Victor’s company but that was just too weird.
She’d bought her house as a screaming deal because it was so run down, it was barely worth what she paid for it. But even if it wasn’t much, it was
still
a mortgage.
She stopped her careening thoughts and sighed, loudly.
Then she realised Nate hadn’t answered.
“Nate?” she prompted.
It was his turn to sigh.
Then he asked, “Hasty with what?”
“Me moving in,” she told his chest.
“Lily, what’s on your mind?”
Her head came up, she looked at him and he dipped his chin to stare her straight in the eyes. He did that all the time, stared at her straight in the eyes. He was not a man who was incapable of a direct look. She liked that about him too and her father would
definitely
like that about him. Will always said, “Never trust a man who won’t look you in the eye.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
To her surprise, he answered her earlier question. “Yes, it was hasty, it was rushed, it was fast, but it wasn’t wrong. You know this is good, I know this is good. That isn’t your question. Therefore I’d like to know what
is
your question.”
She smiled at him, she couldn’t help herself. He was
very
astute. Nate seemed to get down, rather easily, to the meat of the matter. It wasn’t the first time she noticed it.
“Now she’s trying to distract me with a smile,” he told the room in a harassed tone and she giggled at him, put her cheek to his chest and hugged his waist.
“It’s nothing. It doesn’t matter,” she whispered.
And it didn’t. She’d figure it out, she always did. All that mattered was him and that they were together. If she needed to, as a
very
last resort, she could always ask for her last wish from Fazire.
“Lily.”
She slid her head up his chest and looked at the underside of his strong jaw.
“Yes?”
“You know you can tell me anything, yes?”
She didn’t answer but she nodded her head and his hand tightened where it was resting on her hip.
She sighed.
She would figure it out and everything would be fine.
* * * * *
The next day the mail came including Maxine’s bunch of forwarded post. It held the notice that an article she’d submitted to a magazine was to be published. It also included a cheque. It wasn’t a great deal of money but it would cover her mortgage and the minimum payments on all her cards.
Lily was ecstatic.
“I knew everything would be all right!” she told the living room and whirled around with her excitement.
The phone rang in mid-whirl and she grabbed it, beside herself with happiness.
It was, to her shock, and delight, Fazire.
“Fazire, oh Fazire, I’m so glad you called, I can’t wait –” she began.
But he interrupted her.
“Lily-child,” he said in a voice she’d never heard from the usually happy-go-lucky or sometimes pompous-know-it-all Fazire.
Her body froze at his tone and then when she heard what he had to say, it became rock solid.
“I’ll be there right away,” she assured her dear friend when he quit talking.
Then she hung up and stood frozen for what could have been a minute, it could have been an hour.
Then she flew into action.
She called Nate’s office but his secretary was not answering and Lily didn’t want to leave a message especially not
this
message. She called the airline, maxed out her credit card and got a ticket. She packed everything she owned because she didn’t have much at Nate’s and she’d likely need all she had.
Then she called Laura and, to her great misfortune, Danielle answered and told Lily that Laura wasn’t home.
“Can you ask her to phone me the minute she gets in? I’m leaving Nate’s in an hour.” She pulled in a breath and begged, “Danielle, I really need you to do this, it’s urgent.”
“No problem, I can take a message, you know,” Danielle retorted acidly.
Lily expressed her gratitude, suppressed her misgivings and swallowed down her tears.
She put the phone down, picked it right back up and called Nate again.
Still no answer on his work phone. He had no direct line, everyone went through his secretary and she called again three times, no answer each time.
She called Maxine and told her what had happened but didn’t stay on the phone for long just in case Nate or Laura called.
As the time slid by, Lily was becoming frantic. Laura didn’t call, Lily couldn’t get through to Nate and she had to get to Indiana immediately. She had to get to Fazire, he wouldn’t know what to do. He wasn’t even human. He was all alone in that rambling limestone house for the first time without his Becky.
She gulped down the emotion that swelled in her throat at the thought of her mother which led to thoughts of her father and she wrote a note to Nate. She was just signing it when the intercom rang, announcing someone was downstairs waiting to be let in.
Hoping it was Laura for a surprise visit, Lily flew to the intercom.
Seeing as it was the absolutely most unlucky day of her life, and that was an understatement, it was Jeff.
Lily’s heart plummeted.
“Lily, don’t hang up!” Jeff cried urgently. “I’m here to apologise. Promise. I was out of line.”
She hesitated, stared at the phone across the room for a moment, begging it to ring.
It didn’t.
Her last chance was telling Jeff. He at least seemed to like her unlike Danielle and he was there to apologise. Maybe he wasn’t the jerk she thought he was.
“Come on up Jeff,” she said and buzzed him in.
She had to leave in five minutes. She had her bags packed and at the door and while she was waiting for Jeff, she called the doorman to hail a cab for Heathrow.
There was a knock on the door and Lily moved to it to let him in. Jeff saw her bags immediately and his head snapped from them to her, his eyes alight.
She was too wired, trying to fight the tears crawling up her throat and her frenzy at needing to get word to Nate or Laura, to notice.
“What’s happened Lily?” he asked softly.
She stared at him and then it happened. The dam broke; she could hold it back no longer. She burst into tears. He pulled her into his arms and stroked her back.
“Tell me, Lily, tell me what he’s done,” he whispered encouragingly.
She just shook her head and said in a broken voice, “It’s not Nate. It’s my parents. They died in a plane crash yesterday. Both of them.”
His arms tightened.
“Oh Lily,” Jeff murmured and she could swear he actually sounded upset for her.
She pulled away, dashing her hands on her tear-stained cheeks.