Through the Door (6 page)

“Did he?” she asked. “Yes, well, Finn has always been very private. And creative,” she added. She patted Cedar’s knee. “Don’t worry, dear, there’s nothing so very dreadful about us that compelled Finn to say we were dead. I’m sure he had his reasons at the time.”

Cedar set down her cup and stood up, disappointment and frustration burning in the pit of her stomach. She started to turn to leave, but stopped herself. She had to take the risk. “This might seem intrusive,” she said, “but could you tell me if there’s any history of medical conditions in your family?”

There was a long pause. Riona stood up as well and was looking at her with renewed interest. “Any medical conditions?” she asked slowly.

Cedar nodded, watching the older woman closely.

“No, there is nothing like that to worry about in our family,” Riona said.

Cedar’s stomach sank. This wasn’t going to work. “Okay, well, thanks then. And thanks for the tea. It was nice meeting you,” she said. She reached into her purse and pulled out a business card, handing it to Riona. “If he ever gets in touch, this is where he can find me.”

Riona took the card and read it. “McLeod,” she said. “Your last name is McLeod.”

Cedar was alarmed. Riona’s olive skin had gone pale, and she was swaying on her feet. Cedar put a hand under the older woman’s elbow. “Are you okay?” she asked.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine,” Riona said, but her voice shook. “McLeod…and you were asking about…” She stared intently at Cedar. “Impossible,” she breathed.

“What’s wrong?” Cedar asked.

“Forgive my boldness, but did Finn father a child with you?” Riona’s eyes bored into Cedar’s, and Cedar quickly looked away. Then, almost imperceptibly, she nodded.

The house was so quiet Cedar could almost hear the dust in the air as she watched it swirl in a sunbeam shining though the window. “Does he know?” Riona asked.

Cedar shook her head. She wasn’t sure how much to say. But it was out there now, the truth. She felt unsettled, as if she had just arrived in a strange city and hadn’t quite gotten her bearings yet. “No. He left me before I could tell him I was pregnant. I tried to find him. I just thought he should know.
But he didn’t exactly leave a forwarding address. I guess he wanted to make a clean break of it.”

Riona was still staring at her, and her gaze was filled with pity…and disbelief.

“I didn’t come here to get anything,” Cedar said quickly. “And I’m not looking for Finn because I want money or child support or anything like that. I just want to talk to him, to ask him some questions, and that’s it. He doesn’t even need to see me.”

Riona ignored this. “How old is the child?” she asked.

“She’s six,” Cedar said, and then added, “Her name is Eden.”

“Eden,” Riona repeated. “That’s a beautiful name.” She walked over to the picture window and stood there for a while, staring out into the marigolds. “But how?” she said, her face strained. “Tell me, Cedar, why were you asking about medical conditions? Is she unwell?”

Cedar was about to sidestep the question when she heard a door slam at the back of the house. Riona turned in the direction of the sound and called out, “Rohan, is that you? We have a guest. Come meet her.”

A few seconds later, a man emerged from the kitchen and filled the doorway to the living room. Cedar was surprised. Although Finn was fine-boned and slim, his father was an imposing ox of a man. He stood at least six foot five and must have weighed 270 pounds. His full beard was dark red and peppered with gray. He had small but sharp eyes and a slightly hooked nose. Cedar thought of the stories Maeve had told her about Paul Bunyan, the lumberjack giant.

“Hello,” she said, nodding to him, as he did not seem inclined to cross the room to shake her hand.

“What is she doing here?” he asked, looking at his wife.

“Rohan, this is an old friend of Finn’s. Her name is Cedar. Cedar
McLeod,
” Riona stressed Cedar’s last name and gave her husband a significant look.

He held his wife’s gaze for a long moment, and then looked at Cedar again, his eyes narrowed.

“McLeod? Any relation to Maeve McLeod?” he asked.

“She’s my mother,” Cedar said, not sure where this was going. “You know her? She never mentioned knowing Finn’s parents.”

“Yes,” he answered.

“Actually, dear, there’s more you should know,” Riona said to her husband. “Cedar tells me she has a child by our son.”

Rohan’s expression grew dark, and there was a long silence. “That’s impossible,” he finally growled.

“Why is that impossible?” Cedar asked.

“Finn can’t have children,” Rohan said, a challenge in his eyes.

Cedar raised her eyebrows. “Well, he did. I’m raising one.”

“No. Impossible,” Rohan repeated. “It can’t be his.”

Cedar was indignant. “Excuse me? She
is
his! I am one hundred percent sure of it, not that it’s any of your business! Look, I’m sorry that Finn didn’t tell you about me, but he told me you were dead! We were together for over two years! And as I told your wife, I’m not here to get anything out of him, or out of you. I didn’t even know you existed before yesterday. I just want to talk to him.”

“Cedar,” Riona said in a soothing tone, “please forgive my husband. We’re just surprised at the news, after all. And you were about to tell me more about Eden, about your medical concerns.”

Cedar felt her fingernails digging into her palms and unclenched her fists. “Look, it’s really just Finn I need to talk to. Don’t trouble yourselves,” she said.

She turned to leave, but Riona put a hand on her arm. “We want to help you. If Eden is ill, maybe there’s something we can do.”

“She’s not ill!” Cedar snapped. “At least, I don’t think so.” She tried to regain her composure. “She’s just…special. She’s different, in ways that I’m not, so I thought it might have something to do with Finn. But if you won’t help me find him—and it’s obvious he doesn’t want to ever see me again—then there’s nothing that can be done.”

“
How
is she special?” Riona asked.

Cedar shook her head. “Honestly, Mrs. Donnelly, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you, and it really doesn’t matter if you can’t help me.”

“But you said she’s special—different in ways that you’re not,” Riona persisted. “These special traits she has, you don’t have them?”

Cedar frowned at the strangely worded question. “No. I’m extremely ordinary, believe me. Eden is, apparently, extraordinary.”

Rohan was staring at Cedar as if he were trying to determine what particular species of plant she was. Then Riona spoke up again. “Cedar, could you give us a minute? I know you probably have to go, but this is a lot of information for us to digest, and I’d like to have a minute to talk with my husband before you leave. We won’t keep you waiting long, I promise.”

Cedar sighed and nodded as the couple retreated into the kitchen. She sat back on the sofa and picked up her cup. The
tea was cold, but she needed something to do with her hands. She could hear their whispered voices but couldn’t make out what they were saying.

After a few minutes, they reappeared.

“Thank you for waiting,” said Riona. She looked at her husband, who cleared his throat.

“I apologize for the way I may have received you earlier,” he said stiffly.

“Don’t worry about it,” Cedar mumbled.

“We’ve been telling you the truth,” Riona said. “We really don’t have a way of getting in touch with Finn. But he does call every so often, and you have our word that we’ll pass on your message at the first opportunity.” Cedar nodded.

“I don’t mean to keep you,” Riona continued, “but would you mind just telling us a little bit about Eden? What is she like?”

“She’s beautiful,” Cedar said, smiling despite her agitation. Thinking about Eden always made her smile. “She looks a lot like Finn. She’s smart, very smart. She taught herself how to read when she was four. She likes to draw, and she’s very good. She loves animals, and she likes watching shows like
National Geographic.
She says she wants to be a world explorer when she grows up.” Under her breath, she added, “Ironically enough.”

She had meant the comment to go unheard, but Riona immediately asked, “Why is that ironic?”

“It’s not,” Cedar said quickly. “I was just thinking of something else. You know what, I really have to get back to work. Thank you again for your time, and please pass on my message to Finn the next time he calls.”

Cedar stood and walked purposefully toward the door. She swung it open and walked out, but before it closed behind her she thought she heard Rohan’s gruff voice say to his wife, “Call the druid.”

I must be insane,
Cedar told herself as she drove around the streets of Halifax later that evening. Nothing about her day had been normal. As soon as she had arrived back at the office from the Donnellys’ house, she had called her mother to ask her why she hadn’t said anything about knowing Finn’s parents. There had been no answer. After a distracted meeting at work, Cedar checked the messages on her cell phone. There was one from Maeve, who sounded tense, but she didn’t saying anything except that Cedar should make sure not to come home late. The moment Cedar walked in the door, Maeve had rushed out, without the customary small talk and recap of the day’s activities.

After dinner, Riona had called, saying they had more information for her about Finn, but they wanted to discuss it in person, so she wondered if she and Rohan could come over to Cedar’s place. Cedar hadn’t been too keen on the idea, but she wanted to hear what they had to say, so she suggested they meet somewhere else. Riona had given her the address of a pub called the Fox and Fey, and Cedar had agreed to meet them there as soon as she could.

Now she was questioning her judgment on a number of levels. First, she had left Eden with Jane. Cedar had tried to call Maeve, but there was no answer, which was strange. She wondered if her mother was unwell. So she had begged a favor of Jane and told her, without giving too many details, it had something to do with Finn, which had sealed the deal. Children were not Jane’s forte, to put it mildly, but she and Eden got along well enough, and Cedar was sure they’d be fine as long as Eden didn’t convince Jane to give her a nose piercing or something.

Then there was the small matter of where she was going. When she punched the address into her GPS, it came up in a little back lane in the Hydrostone, a newly trendy area in the heart of the city’s traditionally sketchy North End. Cedar was surprised. Her hair salon was in the Hydrostone, and she had never come across a pub called the Fox and Fey. Halifax had no shortage of pubs, but it wasn’t such a large city that a new watering hole could pop up without generating some buzz at the office. Cedar wondered how long it had been open.

She parked on the side of the road and double-checked the address. The sign on the building in front of her said,
ANGUS MCKENNA
&
ASSOCIATES, ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW
. Most of the buildings in the immediate area were made of brick and stone, but this one had cream clapboard siding with dark brown crossbeams on the upper floor. According to Riona, the entrance to the pub was in the back of this building. Cedar shifted in her seat. Maybe she should have insisted on meeting at Starbucks.

She got out of the car and walked around the building toward the back lane. She looked at the exterior, expecting a doorway or entrance of some sort. But the back of the
building was featureless save for two small windows on the second floor. A black iron railing wrapped around the building about three feet away from the outer walls, but the only doorway in sight was the one out front labeled
LAW OFFICE
. Cedar pulled out her phone and was about to recheck the directions when she stopped. A man was leaning against a large green dumpster in the lane just in front of her. Cedar’s muscles tensed, ready to run. But then her mind engaged and she realized that this wasn’t a man so much as it was a boy, or maybe a teenager. He was slightly shorter than she was, and thinner. Still, she didn’t go any farther. He looked up and his eyes widened, as if he was as surprised to see her as she was to see him. “Cedar?” he said, and his voice broke on the last syllable.

Cedar’s eyes narrowed. “How do you know my name?” she asked.

“Rohan sent me. He said you were coming. He asked me to keep an eye out for you,” he said, standing up a little straighter and lifting his chin.

“I see. And you’re what, his bodyguard?” Cedar said, raising an eyebrow.

The boy let out a burst of laughter. “I wish!” he said. “Nah, he just thought you might need some help finding the place. My name is Oscar.” He walked over to her and held out his hand. Cedar hesitated, and then shook it.

“So, where are Rohan and Riona?” Cedar asked. “I’m supposed to meet them at a pub, but it’s sounding kind of sketchy, to be honest.” She looked at him closer. “And are you even old enough to go in?”

She could see the color rise in the boy’s cheeks even in the dimming light. “It’s just a pub,” he answered. “It’s not sketchy,
it’s nice. And it’s kind of a family place, so, yeah, I can go in even though I’m not, er, technically nineteen yet.”

Cedar started to ask another question, but Oscar interrupted her. “Oh, and I’m not really supposed to talk to you. Rohan said I should keep my mouth shut if it was at all possible. But I don’t want to be rude, y’know?”

“Why aren’t you supposed to talk to me?” Cedar asked.

The boy shrugged. “Dunno. We just don’t usually…well, anyway, it’s fine. It’s not like I’m saying anything important. Do you want to go in?”

Cedar paused.
Did
she want to go in? Then she looked around. “Go in where?”

Oscar grinned, and Cedar felt a smile tug at the corners of her own lips at the way his face lit up and how he almost bounced on the balls of his feet. He reminded her of a dog she and her mother had owned before they moved into the city. She half-expected to hear his tail beating against the pavement. “It’s the coolest thing, really. Unless you’re with me, you can’t see it.”

“Uh-huh,” Cedar said, cocking one eyebrow again and waiting for him to point her in the right direction.