Thrust (12 page)

I’M IN MY OFFICE FINISHING up paperwork when Erica appears in my doorway and lightly knocks on the opened door.

I tilt my head and look up. “What’s up, Erica?”

She points behind her. “There’s a guy here asking for you? He says he really needs to see you. Says he’s an old friend. He seems a little out of it or drunk or something.”

Shit . . .

I let out a frustrated breath and grip the top of my desk. “Send him in. I’ll take care of him.”

A few seconds later Bryant walks in dressed in a wrinkled suit and looking as if he hasn’t slept in days. His tired, brown eyes land on mine as he closes the door behind us.

Fighting to keep my shit in check, I nod to the chair in front of my desk. “Take a seat.” I clench my jaw and swallow in anger as I watch him sitting there looking back at me. Doesn’t he realize how hard it is for me not to kill him? “What do you want?”

He leans forward and runs his hands over his face before looking back up. His blonde, curly hair is long and out of control, and his face looks as if he hasn’t shaven in weeks. “I can’t fucking sleep, man.” He rubs his hands together. “She’s killing me and I don’t know what the hell to do.”

Okay, now I’m convinced he’s lost his fucking mind. He wants to sit in my fucking chair and talk about the woman he fucked me over with.

Do not kill this sad fucker, Kyan . . .

I stand up, lean over the desk and slam my fists down, causing him to jump back. My hands grip onto the desk and I can feel my veins popping from my neck. I’m beyond ready to rip his throat out. “What the fuck, Bryant!” I tilt my head up and lock my eyes with his. “Jessica is not my problem. Your relationship with her is not my problem. In fact, I want nothing to do with either of you.”

He stands up from his seat and swipes an arm over my desk, knocking the papers off. “You’re the one that decided to let a fucking woman come between ten years of friendship. Ten years, bro. Now I can’t even get you to answer a simple text, and I have to sit at home and listen to my woman compare me to you; how you did this and you did that. Do you think that’s easy for me? Huh? Knowing that she’s with me but wants you?”

I lean my head back and let out a forced breath. It’s going to take a lot of strength to not jump over this desk and kick the shit out of him. “No,” I growl out. “That’s where you’re wrong.
You
let a woman get in the way of our friendship. You broke the code, bro. She wasn’t just a random hook up. She was the girl I was going to fucking marry. I don’t give a shit what she wants now, and I definitely don’t give a shit about what you want. You both should have thought about the fucking future when you were both fucking me in the ass. That’s all I can do now, and
my
future sure as fuck doesn’t involve the two of you.”

I stand up straight and flex my jaw as he stares at me. “You know what? Get. The. Fuck. Out. The two of you deserve misery together, and when you get home tell Jessica to fuck herself and forget about me. I’ve already forgotten about her.”

Bryant’s nostrils flare as he just stands there, looking straight ahead. I’ve held this anger in for far too fucking long. Seeing the look in his eyes tells me that he’s definitely feeling my hatred and betrayal. Good.

He nods his head a few times before shaking it and turning to face the door. “Take it easy,
old friend.
”

As soon as the door closes I grab my desk and flip it over, before grabbing the chair he was just sitting in and breaking it against the wall. My blood is pumping so damn fast that I’m seeing red. I don’t need this shit right now. I don’t need to think, or feel.

“Fuck you!” I kick my desk. “That fucking asshole.”

My door opens, and without looking up I scream. “Get the fuck out!”

Whoever it was decides not to question my outburst. The door quickly closes and I’m left standing here, coming undone.

Leaving my office a mess, I grab my jacket and lock the door behind me. I look straight ahead, jaw tense as I walk for the door. I feel eyes on me, but right now I don’t care. I just need to get away from all this bullshit. I need fucking freedom.

Rushing outside, I quickly straddle my Harley and head home so I can change out of these damn sweats.

I’M ON THE ELEVATOR, STARING at the numbers like an idiot. My finger is hovering over the button labeled with a six, and I want to press it so fucking bad right now that I’m about to say fuck everything. It’s a little after six and Calla is supposed to be at my door in an hour. I know I won’t be home by then and there’s no way I’m blowing her off.

“Shit.” I push the number six and wait for the elevator door to open again. Without overthinking it, I walk down the hall and stop in front of door number 629 before I can change my mind. I might be stupid for doing this, but at the moment I just don’t give a fuck.

I knock and grip the doorframe, waiting for Calla to answer. I know she’s here because I saw her white Jeep downstairs. I parked my bike right next to it.

A few seconds later I hear her friend yelling for her to get the door, and then the door opens to Calla curiously looking me up and down. She’s standing there with the cutest
surprised
expression I have ever seen. She pulls her pouty bottom lip into her mouth before releasing it.

“Kyan . . .” Her curious eyes meet mine and I instantly see a change in her expression. “Is everything alright?”

She looks a little worried as she waits for my response. The truth is . . . I really don’t know how to answer that without lying.

“No.” I swallow hard and look down at her while gripping the doorframe tighter. “I need some air. Come with me?”

She glances over her shoulder at her roommate and some guy that are sitting on the couch arguing over some movie, before turning back to face me. “Yeah . . . ok, sure.” She reaches for her jacket, pulls it off the coatrack, and slips into it. “I’ll be back later, Tori. I’m going with Kyan.”

“I want all the details . . .”

Calla quickly slams the door behind her before giving me an awkward smile. “She’s on drugs. Don’t mind her.” She clears her throat and walks past me. “I could really use some air as well. Those two have been driving me crazy for the last two hours.”

I place my hand on the small of her back and guide her toward the elevator. Just the feel of her back is enough to make me want to put my hands in other places.

She smiles up at me as the elevator opens for us. “Where are we going?”

I wait until after Calla steps into the elevator, before stepping in myself and hitting the 1
st
floor. “Just somewhere I like to go when I need to breathe and forget about everything.”

I offer her no more information as we make our way out of the elevator and into the cool, night air.

She stops walking and gives me a nervous look when I stop in front of my motorcycle. “Whoa. Motorcycles sort of scare the shit out of me. I love to watch others ride, but . . .”

I grab onto her hip and give her a reassuring smile. “I would let myself get hurt before I ever put you in danger. Trust me.”

She thinks on that for a second before nodding and allowing me to place my helmet on her head. I stand here for a second and take in her beauty as she stands there in a pair of skintight jeans, black boots, and a little black jacket. Her hair is pulled to the side, sticking out from under my helmet, and it honestly makes me smile just from looking at her. She’s waiting on me, looking up at me as if she’s putting all her trust in me. It makes me feel at ease. I like it.

Straddling my bike, I reach out my hand and help her onto the back. “Wrap your arms around my waist.” She reaches around me and wraps her arms around me so tightly that I almost can’t breathe. “Whoa. It’s okay.” I rub my hand over hers to calm her nerves a little. “I won’t go fast until you tell me it’s okay. You can trust me.”

She leans her head against my back and loosens her grip on me. “Really? My ex took me for a ride on his friend’s bike once and that asshole definitely tricked me by telling me he’d drive slow. He didn’t.”

I feel a small ache in my chest from the tone in her voice. She sounds pained. I don’t like hearing her that way. “Really,” I reply. “I would never do that to you. Trust is a big issue for me. If I give you a reason not to trust me, then how can I expect you to not do the same?”

“I like that,” she says, locking her hands together. “I’m ready now.”

I take off slow, wanting her to see that I’m true to my word. Making a woman feel as if I would ever hurt her and give her reason not to trust me doesn’t sit well with me. A woman should feel safe and cared for by a man. The problem is . . . some women just don’t want that. I learned the hard way.

We ride for a while, the two of us just enjoying the sights and the cool air, until I finally pull up at my favorite spot. It’s not much really, just a big open field with a few trees, but it’s always given me a feeling of freedom and peace.

Killing the engine, I help her off my bike before pulling the helmet from her head and setting it down.

I take off walking into the middle of nowhere and I hear her following behind me. I usually come here alone, but having her with me sort of feels nice. I have a feeling that she has been hurt in the past and maybe she needs this place just as much as I do.

Once we get far enough into the middle of nowhere, I stop and take off my jacket, tossing it down beside me.

Calla stops right next to me and just watches in silence as I strip my shirt off next and roll it up before laying it on my jacket.

“Come here.” I grab her hand and guide her down to the ground so that she’s lying on my jacket, using my shirt as a pillow.

I drop down beside her and lay with my hands interlocked behind my head. When I glance beside me, she’s staring up at the night sky and picking at the grass beside her.

“It’s nice out here,” she says softly. “So peaceful and beautiful.”

Looking at her here beside me, looking so at ease and peaceful, I realize she’s never looked so damn beautiful. “Definitely beautiful,” I admit.

I close my eyes and try to force all the bad memories out of my head. Seeing Bryant today brought up a bunch of old emotions that I thought I had control over. Losing it like I did only proved that I was wrong; so damn wrong.

“Do you come here a lot?” I hear her shift beside me so I turn to look at her. She’s lying on her side with her hand propped below her head as her eyes look at me with sincerity. “I can see why this place helps you clear your head.”

Sitting up, I run my hands through my hair. “Yeah. I’ve been coming here for a few years now. Usually when I come here, I’m alone.” I relax into her touch when I feel her hand rub over my back. “I’ve been controlling myself better lately, so I haven’t had to come as much, but today I had an unwanted visitor, so . . . here I am.”

I hear her moving beside me, and after a few seconds, she’s on her knees behind me, rubbing my shoulders. “Relax, Kyan.” She leans close to my neck as she rubs her thumbs in circles between my shoulder blades. “You’re really tense.”

I find myself moaning and leaning further into her touch. Her hands feel so damn good. “That feels amazing.”

She lets out a tiny laugh. “Thanks.” She’s silent for a second before speaking again. “I spent many years rubbing my little sister to sleep when we were younger, so . . . I guess there’s
one
thing I should thank her for.”

Reaching up, I grab her arm and kiss it, before pulling her around in front of me. Grabbing the back of her neck, I lay her down in the grass and spread her legs with my knee. “It’s really hard feeling your hands on me without me wanting to touch you back. Do you realize that?”

Her eyes look down at my chest and I catch her cheeks turn slightly pink. It’s not the easiest seeing her in the dark, but I can see enough to know that she wants me to touch her just as much as I want to.

She locks her eyes with mine before shaking her head and hiding her face behind her hand. “Kyan . . . I was with a guy last night. I don’t usually do this.”

I feel a small ache in my chest until I remember that is what I told her to do. This is what I wanted for both of us. I just never expected it to be my brother. I grab her chin and rub my thumb over her soft lips. “You talked to him about us?” She swallows and nods her head. “Then there’s nothing to be ashamed of. We both know about each other so you’re not doing anything wrong. I want
you
to be pleased. That’s all I can offer.”