Thrust (21 page)

“I gave you everything I had, all of me.” I point to my chest with my hand shaking. I’m so angry that it’s uncontrollable. I don’t want him to see the way it’s affecting me, but it can’t be stopped so fuck it. “I loved you, Jordan. I cherished you and listened to you . . . I took care of you. I did everything that I was supposed to do and it still wasn’t good enough for you. You ripped my fucking heart out and stomped on it, and with who . . . huh? The most important person in my life next to you, my sister. My fucking sister, Jordan. You did that to me. Not only did you rip my fucking heart out, but you also stole my family. That’s something you don’t come back from. You can’t just pretend it’s all okay just because two years has passed.”

His jaw clenches and his eyes look over my shoulder again, as he runs a hand through his short, blonde hair; his stupid, always perfect hair. “I’m sorry. I can’t take that back and neither can she. You think we meant for it to happen that way?”

“I don’t care. It should’ve never happened in the first place. If you two wanted to be together . . . then you should have told me. I loved you both enough that I would have backed off and gave you the space to figure it out, because that’s my character. What’s sad is that you know that, but instead you both betrayed my trust in the worst way possible. How do you expect me to trust my heart with anyone else after the two people I loved the most completely fucked it up by shredding it into a million pieces?” I tilt my head up to meet his brown eyes. “It still fucking hurts. Just thought you both should know.”

I hear footsteps right behind me, crunching in the grass, before I feel a hand possessively lace with mine, causing me to release a surprised gasp.

Turning my eyes away from Jordan, I look beside me to see Kyan, looking straight ahead at Jordan as if he’s mentally ripping his throat out.

My heart literally skips a fucking beat and a tear slowly trails down the left side of my face as I stare at him in awe. I can’t believe that he’s standing here, next to me. I’m so happy that I could die right now. When I needed him the most he came through.

He’s dressed in a pair of form fitting trousers and a white button down shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. His tie is loose as if he’s been pulling on it, but his hair is slicked back as if he actually took the time to style it before arriving. He looks so painfully sexy and I can tell that Jordan notices it too. I’m sure Jordan’s used to being the sexiest guy everywhere he goes. Too bad for him he won’t be for his own damn wedding.

“Sorry I’m late, Calla.” His eyes stay straight ahead on Jordan’s and I can easily tell that Jordan feels extremely uncomfortable as Kyan sizes him up. His eyes keep darting from my face to Kyan’s face, and then to our hands laced together. “Let’s go find our seat and let the groom here get married.”

His jaw steels as Jordan loosens his tie. Then, before I know it, his hand is on my lower back and he’s guiding me through the grass and toward where Jordan
should
be right now.

Going back to holding my hand, he walks me down the aisle as if it’s perfectly normal for people to be looking at us as if we’re a real couple. I see my aunt fan her face off and grin as Kyan pulls me past her toward the empty seat in the front row.

There’s only one seat open together, so Kyan leans in and politely asks someone that I don’t know if they wouldn’t mind moving over to the next seat so that we can sit together.

My stomach fills with butterflies as he guides me down to my seat and takes a seat beside me, pulling my hand into his lap.

His fingers trace circles on my hand and I oddly find comfort in his touch, as I look straight ahead, ready for this to be over.

The soft music starts and I feel Kyan move my chair as close to his as he possibly can. It causes a small smile to take over my lips as I watch him looking at me. He’s taking me all in as if he’s making sure that I’m okay.

“Thank you,” I whisper. “You didn’t have to do this.”

His jaw muscle flexes as he nods his head. “Yes, I did,” he says barely above a whisper.

My heart races as I take notice of the first couple making their way down the aisle to stand at the front. This is all so real now. It’s actually happening right in front of my eyes. My sister is marrying Jordan . . . my first and only love.

Sitting here right now, watching this, is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. With each second that passes I feel sicker to my stomach from the anticipation of seeing Chrissy walk down that aisle.

Kyan’s hand squeezes mine, comforting me as Jordan makes his way down the aisle to take his place.

He seems to know how much this hurts and I couldn’t be more thankful to have him here with me. I owe him so much for this and I can never repay him enough. He’s giving up something important for him to be here right now. No one has ever done anything like that for me before.

The music changes and my whole body stiffens. I rub my free hand over the front of my silver, silk dress, as my nerves begin to get the best of me. She’s only seconds away from walking down that aisle and I know for a fact that she will be looking to see if I actually made it.

I sit a little higher, unable to hide like I know I should. For some reason I desperately want to see her. I almost need to. I don’t want to talk to her and pretend that everything is okay, but I just want one look at my beautiful sister after so much time has passed. It’s been too long.

Oh my God . . .

There she is looking more beautiful than she did two years ago. Her long, blonde hair is twisted into a braid and clipped in a side bun, with little flowers sticking out, and her dress is the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on. She truly is a beautiful bride, and seeing her causes my heart to swell with unwanted pride.

I see her looking my way, trying to spot me out. Her eyes meet mine and I see her suck in a breath as if she’s about to cry. It causes me to almost have a breakdown. I find myself squeezing Kyan’s leg so hard that my nails are probably digging into his skin through his pants, but he allows me to do it without complaint.

Our eyes stay locked, taking each other in, until they can’t anymore. This is so hard. God, I love her so much. I’m starting to lose it and I don’t want anyone to see me burst into tears.

I start to shake as the unwanted tears fill my eyes. The priest is talking, but I can’t concentrate on any of his words. I feel as if I’m about to break into a sob at any second.

“It’s okay.” Kyan grabs my face with both hands and forces me to look him in the eyes. “Look at me, okay. Keep your eyes on me. There’s no one here but the two of us.”

I nod my head and speak through my tears. “Okay,” I whisper.

His eyes keep mine captured as the rest of the world goes on around us. It’s as if we’re taking this moment to read each other and really see what the other is feeling.

His face looks pained as if he’s carrying my hurt. It suddenly makes me ache for him and not for myself anywhere.

He must notice my change in emotion because his eyes bounce back and forth between mine, before he wraps his hand into the back of my hair and pulls me in for a kiss.

When his lips meet mine, my whole world stops, and I feel as if I’m melting into him. He’s never kissed me outside of sex before and it definitely has my emotions running wild. This is new for him.

His lips move with mine as if he’s lost in me and he wants nothing more than to own me with this kiss . . . and he does. This one kiss owns me, along with my heart.

The feel of his tongue sweeping across my bottom lip causes flutters in my stomach. His kiss is so gentle, yet filled with so much passion that I feel breathless in his embrace.

He pulls away and rubs his thumb over my check, leaving me utterly speechless. “You look beautiful,” he whispers. “So damn beautiful that I’m feeling things I haven’t felt in a long time.”

My heart swells from his words and I find myself gripping onto his hands as he holds my gaze, being sure I don’t have to witness the worst part of it all. He’s got my complete attention, and to be honest, no one else can capture it quite like he does. I could sit here and look into his eyes forever and never get tired of trying to figure them out.

Before I know it people are starting to stand around us and we’re the only ones still sitting here just staring at each other.

I swallow and pull away from his eyes to see that the wedding party is preparing to walk back down the aisle. Everyone is now standing proudly to watch Chrissy and Jordan take their final walk hand in hand as husband and wife.

My eyes fall on my sister as she makes her way down the aisle. The first thing I notice are the tears of joy on my sister’s face. She truly looks as if her dream has just come true, her happily ever after. Her eyes go from looking at Jordan to seeking me out.

She notices Kyan and me together, and a huge smile appears on her face as she nods at me and then continues to pass. That one little smile is almost enough to break through my wall and make me want to run to her, but I don’t.

Wow . . . it doesn’t even feel like five minutes have passed when in reality it’s been at least twenty, and Kyan’s eyes didn’t leave my face once.

Grabbing my hand, Kyan stands up and helps me to my feet. He slips an arm around my waist and presses his lips to the side of my forehead as we wait for a clear exit.

We stand here as each row of people makes their way outside and lines up with bubbles before Kyan walks me down the aisle and outside.

He grabs a thing of bubbles and hands it to me. “Do you want to do this? You don’t have to. Don’t push yourself if it hurts too much.”

Deciding that I need to be strong, I take the bubbles and begin to open the cap while nodding my head. Seeing Chrissy and Jordan walk down the aisle, happily in love, has made me realize how much time has truly passed between us and I’m beginning to question if it was all worth it.

It’s also made me realize that what I felt for Jordan is completely gone. I feel nothing but anger when I look at him. It’s my anger that has kept me away for so long, not a broken heart from the loss of Jordan like I thought.

Looking at Chrissy gives me a feeling of loss and pain. It’s family that truly matters. It’s losing her as my sister that hurts the most. I need to let go and learn to let her in again. I’ve been weak and it’s time that I stand up straight and be strong for the both of us. It’s just going to take time to truly forgive her.

Kyan stands behind me and wraps his arms around my waist as I begin blowing bubbles at the newlyweds when they pass. Having him nearby seems to make things easier. He gives me that sense of peace that I’ve been seeking.

He’s managed to be my peace through the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life . . .

AFTER THE CEREMONY KYAN HELPED pack up Tori’s equipment and then unpack it again once arriving at the reception.

Tori mostly stood back with a grin on her face and watched him do the work, but you get what I mean. As soon as she noticed me standing around with Kyan, she practically screamed. Her words were, “I knew he’d show up.”

That’s crazy, because I had no idea. I still honestly cannot believe that he is here right now. I can’t stop looking at him and smiling. He notices and smiles back each time, looking as if he’s the happiest man on earth.

Right now, he’s standing by the bar chatting with my father. I see them both casually look my way and I can’t help the nerves that shoot through me. I have no idea what they’re discussing, but they both look extremely happy.

Smiling, my father pats Kyan on the back before shaking his hand and walking away. My sister and Jordan just arrived a few minutes ago, so I’m sure he’s making his way to see them.

I look up and reach out for the glass of wine as Kyan hands it to me. “Thank you.” I quickly tilt the glass back and finish it off.

Kyan raises an eyebrow. “Isn’t the point of wine to sip and savor? Should I just buy the whole bottle now and save me some trips? I will buy you the whole bar if it helps.” He smirks and then pulls me to him, sucking the excess wine off my bottom lip. “Mmm . . . tastes delicious.”

I laugh as he leans back in and teasingly nibbles my bottom lip. “Kyan . . .”

“Sorry,” he smiles against my lips. “You taste too damn good.”

“Calla . . .” My heart stops and all of my oxygen escapes me as Chrissy’s voice comes from right behind me. “Can I have a minute, please?”

Kyan grabs my face with both hands and rubs my cheeks as I look up at him. “I’ll find you in a bit.” He leans in and kisses me softly on the lips, before walking away, leaving me alone with . . . Chrissy.

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and slowly release it. When I open my eyes again, I see Tori across the room, watching me. She gives me a slight smile and nods her head. I guess her being here has somewhat opened her eyes as well.

I turn around to face Chrissy and her soft eyes land on my face, taking me all in. “I’m really happy you came.” She swallows nervously and reaches for my hand. My eyes look down at her hand holding mine, before looking back up to her face. “There are things that need to be said. I can’t hold them in anymore. I’m so sorry, Calla. I know I can’t make up for what I did, but I’ll try if you’ll let me.” Her hand squeezes mine as a tear slides down her cheek. “I miss you.”