TICEES (66 page)

Chelan’s eyes met his. “I’m—” she began, and then had to stop. She swallowed hard and took in a shaky breath. “I’m going to be so alone when you leave,” she whispered.

Shan straightened and faced her. “What makes you think that I’m leaving?” he asked as he looked over her sad features.

Chelan smiled weakly. “Your life is not here,” she began. “Your life is with the Empire.”

Shan paused. She was right, but his departure was a long way off. His journey out of the Dead Zone would be arduous and wrought with hazards. He was thought to have perished, and his body readouts and brain profiles would no longer be present in the scanners’ memory banks. He would simply be shot as an unidentified intruder if he were caught. He had to be superbly fit, and he had to be ready.

Shan reached out and brushed her soft, white cheek, and she closed her eyes to his touch. “I’m not going to leave you, Kayla, not for a long time.”

Chelan smiled outwardly, while her heart remained in tatters.

Shan smiled back and raised himself out of the pool. He moved off to dry himself and then turned back to her. “Coming out?” he asked lightly.

Chelan shook her head.

Shan chuckled. “Okay,” he quipped and he turned his back. Chelan pushed out of the water and slipped into her tunic, not even taking the time to dry herself. She walked over to him, and he batted at her head playfully, teasing her for her shyness.

They spent the next part of the morning breaking off chunks of rock that Shan wanted in order to add weight to his workouts. As midafternoon approached, Chelan was getting tired. Her normal biorhythms had been easy to follow originally because he had needed so much sleep. But now he was stronger, and he was sleeping less and less.

Chelan was finally forced to leave him, and she moved over to her bed for a nap. She curled up, facing the wall, and drew the fur over her for warmth.

Shan worked a while longer and then looked over at her. She was not doing well, and he knew that her morning depression still gripped her. He studied her closely. She still slept away from him at nights, and with the coming of each evening, her choice stabbed at him just a little bit more, each time the knife driving in a little bit deeper. Her loneliness tugged at his heart, but still she would not open up to him. She remained silent, her thoughts closed, her life a mystery, and her pain deep.

Shan continued to watch her, and finally he could no longer stand the situation. He stood and walked over to her. He knelt down silently and touched her shoulder lightly.

Chelan’s eyes snapped opened in surprise, and she turned her head and looked up at him.

Shan gazed down into her mellow eyes for a moment, but he saw no signs of rejection. He remained silent as he slowly slipped in beside her, covering himself with the fur and laying his head down. He breathed a sigh of relief when she did not move from him. Cautiously, he slipped his hand over her slender waist and let his arm relax on her.

Chelan closed her eyes. She had waited so long for his warm embrace, and she lowered her head. She could feel the tenseness of his muscles, and she knew he was waiting for her acceptance. She wiggled herself back into him and then relaxed fully, reveling in his touch and his power.

Shan took in a badly needed breath. He closed his eyes and opened his hand to her abdomen, and he pressed her tightly to him. She felt so warm, so soft, and so sensual. He loved her scent, and he loved the feel of her small body nestled into his. Now he knew for sure that he was indeed in no rush to leave. Especially not now that he lay with the beautiful woman. Shan let all his muscle tension abate, allowing his hard body to meld to hers, and he drifted off into a warm, peaceful sleep with her.

*****

Chelan awoke an hour later, deliberately not sleeping too long so that she could sleep in the evening. Shan was still holding her, and she smiled to herself. She lingered in his strong embrace for a few moments longer and then turned and looked up at him. “I’m afraid I’m not being very good company,” she murmured.

Shan smiled down at her. “I’m not complaining. I rather like this new form of company.”

Chelan blushed.

Shan looked down over her and then began stroking her soft arm. She closed her eyes contentedly to the feel of his fingers grazing her skin. His eyes gazed upon her beautiful face, and his heart stopped at the notion of tasting her soft pink lips. But then he thought better of it. He did not want her to feel trapped. This was her home, her only home, and he would not dare to make it uncomfortable or distasteful to her.

Suddenly, he felt the need to distance himself physically from her. He could only control his urges so long, and her soft body pressed to his was straining his good intentions. He immediately slipped out from under the fur and stood over her.

Chelan’s eyes opened wide with surprise at his abrupt withdrawal from her, and she looked up at him in disappointment. Her stomach churned momentarily, and she suddenly felt undesirable. But she did not have time to flounder in her rising feelings of inadequacy.

“Come on,” he prodded. “Now it’s your turn.”

Chelan pushed up. “My turn for what?” she asked, bewildered.

“It’s your turn to work out,” he smiled. “It’s been a long time, and you’re going to have to get used to doing it in front of me.”

Chelan started to protest, but he bent over and whipped the fur from her, hoisting her to her feet. He turned and scooped up her two-piece sarong and threw it at her, his eyes sly. “Hop to it, and that’s an order,” he commanded.

Chelan stood defiantly. “And since when do you give orders?” she challenged.

Shan turned to her and looked at her from the corner of his eye. “I have always given orders.”

Chelan suddenly lost her smile. “What did you do for Toran?” she asked, holding her breath.

Shan squatted down and began arranging a fur mat for her. “I used to be one of his First Officers,” he stated casually. “I flew right wingman for him most of my career.”

Chelan, stunned by his rank, could barely speak. It took her a moment to recover. “You must be good,” she whispered lamely.

Shan looked up at her and smiled. “Used to be,” he chuckled. “Whether I’m still good remains to be seen.”

Chelan moved to him and knelt down. “Why did they leave you?” she gasped in utter disbelief.

Shan stopped working and looked at her. “Kayla, when you’re in the field on military maneuvers, and you become engaged in battle, you’re just another warrior for that time. We have a directive that states if a ship goes down and sensors detect severe injuries, then prudence is to be used in recovering the pilot depending on the surrounding conditions, no matter who he or she is. In this case, the other fighters were still engaged in battle. And they could not return for me even if they had disengaged. The storm was nearly on them, and it would have endangered them to do so. They made the right decision. They did not violate the directive.” Shan looked into her anguished eyes.

Chelan swallowed. “But you are an officer.”

Shan hesitated as he watched her carefully. He was just now realizing how deep her feelings for him were running. “It does not matter, Kayla. There are lots more men and women capable of taking my place. Fight aside, with the storm upon them, if the sensors indicated that my injuries were grievous, they would have known that I would not get my previous position back anyway.”

Chelan winced. “But, to just let you die …”

Shan stood. “It’s survival of the fittest, Kayla. It appears cruel, but it is not, and it is how the Empire works.”

Chelan wasn’t feeling at all well. “Accidents happen,” she muttered. “And sometimes that protocol needs to be amended. You didn’t deserve to be left to die.”

Shan squatted back down by her. He lifted her pretty face to his and stroked her long, tangled hair. “But I didn’t die, Kayla,” he whispered, and she finally smiled at him.

Shan wanted to kiss her so badly his chest ached. But he moved back from her and returned to organizing himself.

Chelan remained deep in thought. She hesitated and then spoke. “What if it had been one of the Warlords?”

Shan looked at her and grinned. “You don’t quit, do you?” But then he stilled. “Maybe they would put a little more effort into it. Maybe one of the fighters would have been ordered back.” He looked at her. “They are a little harder to replace, especially Korba.”

Chelan’s muscles instantly went weak, and her heart melted at the sound of his name. The backs of her eyes pricked, and she struggled to remain in control of herself. “Is he one of the Warlords?”

Shan smiled. “Yes he is, and he’s the best. He is actually our Overlord. He oversees personally the training of any new Warlords. For the most part, he is irreplaceable.”

Chelan looked directly at him. “Have you ever worked under him?”

Shan nodded. “When I was first starting, I trained under him for a time, but then I was assigned to Toran.”

“Why?”

Shan shrugged. “No particular reason. Thousands of warriors train under the Warlords, but where you end up in the long run depends mostly on supply and demand.”

Chelan wanted to ask so much more, but she knew it was not wise. She paused for a while, and finally her curiosity got the best of her. “If you serve Toran, does that mean he is on Iceanea?”

Shan lay down on the fur, on his side, curious about all her questions after all this time. “Yes, for now,” he replied. “The other two ships that the Primary Warlords command are out.” Shan searched his memories. “Actually, RIBUS 8 and Commander Dar should be back about now, but RIBUS 7, commanded by Korba, will not be back. They were due here a few months ago, but apparently he asked for back-to-back missions.”

Chelan felt a huge knot form in her stomach, but she remained outwardly calm. “Why would he do that? Isn’t that dangerous?”

Shan let his head drop back, his long hair brushing the cave floor. “Yes,” he stated. “But for him, I understand it was an act of self-preservation.” Shan hesitated and then looked forward at the ground, his fingers wandering aimlessly over the cavern floor. “He was back here almost a full year ago, conducting extensive searches.” Shan looked up at Chelan. “It seems that the woman he had chosen to Let had disappeared while under the Emperor’s protection, but all his efforts to find her were futile.” Shan looked down and shrugged. “I guess to immerse himself in his career is his way of dealing with her loss.”

Chelan could feel fresh tears clawing at her eyes, and she rose up slowly, hoping she could turn her back to Shan before he saw them. She reached for her sarong and then moved to the far wall where she knelt.

Shan watched her as she removed her tunic, and then she remained very still for a time, the skin on her bare back prickling to the cool air.

Chelan calmed herself and then slipped into her sarong. Slowly she returned to Shan, her tears squashed. “When will he return?” she asked tonelessly.

Shan only shook his head. “Word has it that he has no intentions of ever returning here. His pain associated with Iceanea and her loss is too great. I guess that he will have to bring the RIBUS back periodically for maintenance, upgrading, and crew changes, but he will keep her in orbit, and he probably won’t ever set foot on the planet. He has even relocated the training of future Warlords to one of our satellite colonies just so he can avoid Iceanea.”

Chelan sat down beside him. “What do they think happened to her?”

Shan shook his head. He spoke very softly. “No one knows why she left, but she left on her own accord. They know she perished in the Dead Zone, as a patrol’s sensors picked her up just before a storm hit. The day she disappeared I was one of the first dispatches ordered out by Ticees, as Toran had come back from the training fields immediately to help with the searches. They were all conducted over the Dead Zone, but no trace of her was ever found.”

Shan lay back and looked at the ceiling as his fingers tapped on his chest. “Rumors in the upper ranks say that Korba holds Ticees responsible for her demise, but apparently he could not prove anything.”

Chelan looked away and smirked. She supposed that was good. With no evidence against Ticees, Korba could not act, and he would be spared. Chelan looked back at Shan. “Did you ever see her?”

Shan shook his head. “No,” he whispered. “I know that she was an exotic off-worlder. Toran said that she was a true feminine beauty worthy of a Warlord.” Shan smiled. “Or even of the Emperor himself.”

Chelan shuddered. A Warlord maybe, but the Emperor was worthy of no woman in her view, and Chelan felt rage trickle through her veins.

Suddenly, Shan sat up and smiled at her, looking intently at her. “She probably looked a lot like you, Kayla.”

Chelan instantly turned red. “You flatter me, my friend, but I hardly think that a lowly cave dweller like me is worthy of one of your great Warlords.”

Shan couldn’t take his eyes off her. “Oh, I don’t know,” he said softly. “You are warm, loving, and caring. You’re resourceful and obviously hardy.” He looked around the cave. “And you would have to be more than resilient to have existed here and endured this loneliness for so long.” He looked back at her, his face serious. “And you’re a stunning beauty,” he added in a desirous whisper.

Chelan smiled weakly, her entire body going warm. Her eyes made a cursory scan of his body, lingering irresistibly at the male fullness spilling so enticingly along his leg. Then she sprang to her feet. “Well, regardless of your biased observations, I won’t stay in my present condition if I don’t start training.”

Shan smiled up at her. “Quite right,” he remarked as he moved to his feet. “Okay. You do your thing, and I will follow.”

Chelan grinned at him. “My thing, as you put it, is flexibility and the ability to tie myself in knots.”

Shan chuckled. “I said that I would follow. I never said that I would equal your abilities.”

Chelan took a deep breath. “This is going to be hard,” she uttered. “I’m not used to training in the company of one so …”

“So what?” he pressed, a grin spreading across his face.

Chelan’s voice caught in her throat as she raised her fingers to her mouth, attempting to stifle her embarrassment. “Of one so naked,” she blurted, and then she burst out laughing.