Authors: Emily Snow
“Stop saying sorry—” Cooper started,
but then he paused. His fingertips were
gentle as he swept my hair away from my
left shoulder. Then, carefully, so as not to
press too much of his body weight down
on top of me, he bent over to examine me.
“It’s amazing what you find when the
lights are on,” he said in a low voice
before tracing the tip of his tongue along
the small tattoo that ran across the soft
skin behind my left ear.
I trembled and curled my hands into
the sheets.
“Five, nine, ten,” he whispered,
reading the numbers aloud. “What’s it
mean?”
I twisted my head to glance over my
shoulder into his eyes. “It’s a date. When I
lost someone that I loved.” I was
surprised I was being so honest with him.
I’d gotten the tattoo when I was high,
and my mom had flipped out about it.
“You can’t have both, Willow. You
can’t keep a secret and then go and get a
goddamn
prison
tattoo advertising his
birthday,” she’d hissed.
“It’s not a prison tattoo,” I’d retorted.
“And nobody knows what it means.”
“We went through so much trouble
making sure this didn’t get out.” She’d
said, reminding me of how she and Dad
had sent me away from Los Angeles for
months to live with her step-mother in
Bumfuck, Oregon. “Please be a bit more
grateful.”
“Grateful? You let me sign a screwed
up agreement and I don’t even know what
happened.”
After that, I hadn’t talked to her for
nearly a month, and I’d spent the majority
of those thirty days forgetting that I even
got the tattoo in the first place.
Cooper pulled me away from the bitter
memory. “What are you thinking about?”
I shrugged. “Nothing.”
“You’re going to rip my sheets,”
Cooper said in a soothing voice, taking his
mouth, and then his hands, away from my
flesh. I focused down at the cotton
clenched in each of my hands and released
it. “I’m not going to push you to talk,
Wills. I’m not going to push you to do
anything. But at the risk of sounding like a
total pussy, I’ll listen to anything that
comes out of your mouth.”
Burying my face into the sheets, I
nodded. When I lifted my head a moment
later, there was a tiny smile curving the
corners of my lips. “Your sheets smell
like your girly ass shampoo.”
“Smart ass,” he said, rolling me over.
Our tongues and lips tangled together and
that ache crept from my stomach, in
between my legs. I wanted to get lost in
him again.
And again.
We stayed in his bed until I could no
longer ignore the sound of my cell phone
vibrating inside of my bag. There were a
couple missed calls from Kevin, but the
newest was a text from Jessica.
10:39 a.m.
: I’ve got to tell you what I
did last night, you busy?
Apparently, she’d forgotten about how
she’d told me to suck my fears about
filming the movie the fuck up the night
before.
Cooper rolled out of the bed, giving
me a knee-weakening smile over his
shoulder as he disappeared naked in the
tiny bathroom attached to the bedroom. I
heard the whistle of water running from
the pipes a moment later. Exhaling, I
cocooned myself in the sheet and
messaged Jessica back as I waited for him
to finish up so I could shower.
Will call
you later, okay?
She texted back with a winking
smiley, and I flushed all over.
Half an hour later after we had both
taken our showers, Cooper offered to
make me breakfast.
“I’m not a very good cook,” he
explained as he prepared a feast of
Toaster Strudels and fresh fruit. “And Eric
is probably going to bitch about me
touching his strawberry strudel stash.” He
tossed the empty box into the trashcan
before handing me my plate.
“I basically live on a diet of organic
waffles and grilled chicken and fish. I’d
say this was pretty fucking awesome.” I
sat down across from him at the table and
he gave me a smile. “By the way, where
is
Eric?” The house had been quiet all
morning, and I was half-expecting Eric to
pop around the corner with a video
camera attached to his hand.
I shuddered at the thought.
Cooper took a drink of his orange
juice. “Staying with Paige at her
apartment. He, um, wanted to give me the
house to myself for the weekend.”
Luckily my phone buzzed right then
and interrupted us before I could start
freaking out about what the implications
behind Cooper’s words. I picked up the
phone and stared down at the screen,
groaning when I saw a text from Kevin
asking me to call him ASAP to iron out the
details for tomorrow. I sent him a message
back telling him that I was working out
and that I’d call him as soon as I was
finished.
It wasn’t exactly a lie.
Cooper and I finished breakfast
quickly, and though I wanted to climb
back into his bed, I asked him to take me
home to my rental. When we reached the
house, a thought hit me as I was stepping
out the Jeep, and before I could stop
myself, I asked, “Cooper?”
“Mmm?”
“Why’d your dad do it?”
He leaned his head back to the
headrest and gave me a hard look.
“Because mum loved me and everything I
represented more than him.” I didn’t know
what that meant and he chose not to
elaborate because he said, “Willow?
Tomorrow, when you’re that girl again,
will I just be the surfer bum from
Hawaii?”
Though his words were teasing, there
was a serious edge to his voice that made
my throat go dry. I slid back down in my
seat and gazed straight ahead until the sun
turned the kids playing basketball at the
end of the street into a dusty blur. No, I
couldn’t imagine Cooper being a just
anything
after last night.
And after this morning.
“I’m not good with relationships,” I
said, and I heard his breath catch. “And
from what you’ve told me, neither are you.
But that doesn’t stop me from wanting
more of you.”
He moved closer, despite the center
console separating us, and stroked my
cheek. Every nerve in my body tingled as
his blue eyes connected with mine. God,
when had this happened?
When had I started wanting him like
this?
When had I started caring whether he
wanted me back?
My voice was heavy when I spoke. “I
. . . know you hate Hollywood. You’ll be
ripped apart if we make this public, so—”
He shook his head, moving his hand
from my jawline to hold my chin. “I’m not
hiding. And I’m not fucking afraid of some
douchebag with a camera.”
“You’ve got no clue.”
Tilting his head to one side, he rolled
his lips together. “I can handle whatever
they do to me. It’s you I’m worried
about.”
“It doesn’t bother me anymore,” I
said.
Liar.
If it didn’t bother you, why haven’t
you Googled your name since coming to
Hawaii?
I took a deep breath to ground myself.
“Let’s just get through the first week of
shooting, okay?” Reaching up, I touched
his face with the back of my hand. “And
just enjoy this?”
For a moment he looked like he was
about to argue with me, like he was going
to laugh at me and tell me to piss off, but
then he nodded slowly.
He kissed me again before walking me
to my front door, and as I watched him go,
I realized that this was another first for
me:
My first normal relationship in my
adult life.
***
toward the middle of the afternoon, I
found out that I was expected to attend a
press conference tomorrow morning with
some of the key members of the cast. This
was the second time in my entire career
that I’d never met any of the people I’d be
working with. Usually, I was sick of the
rest of the cast by now after multiple
screen tests for chemistry and meet and
greets.
Apparently, James Dickson had a shit
load of confidence in me.
My mother called me shortly after I
spoke to Kevin. I was in the middle of
studying my script, with the original
version of the movie playing quietly in the
background for inspiration, when I
answered.
“Have you checked the homepage of
Leah Dishes Hollywood
today?” her
voice was brimming with excitement
when she referred to the infamous
celebrity blog that hated me.
I rolled my eyes. “Nice to hear from
you too, Mom.”
“I’m guessing you haven’t looked.” I
could see her face fall just by the way her
voice had dropped.
“I’m not in the habit of reading about
myself being mocked.” But for some
reason, I’d already pulled my MacBook
off the coffee table and was trying to find
the website she was talking about. When it
loaded, I saw myself, standing next to
Tyler at the premier of
Into the Dark
almost four years ago. Same dark brown
hair, same green eyes, same pouty lips, but
the look on my face was so alive, so in
love with the guy on my right side, that it
made my chest burn.
Avery Surfs into Hilary Norton Role
Directly below the caption, there was
a film still of the gorgeous actress who’d
starred in Tidal in the late 80s, grinning at
the camera and gripping a brown
surfboard as her blonde hair blew around
her shoulders.
I skimmed the page as my mom
chattered on about how thrilled she was
about the film. Certain words in the blog
post jumped out at me like rehab and
lawsuit and then of course there were the
comparisons between Hilary and me.
Overdose.
The article ended on what my mother
claimed was a positive note—the writer
mentioned how excited she was to see the
movie since she’d been such a fan of the
original. Then she’d added that she hoped
to every higher power that existed that
Avery didn’t “dumb down” such a classic.
“Nice,” I said, closing the MacBook’s
screen before curiosity got the best of me
and I scrolled down to look at the
comments. They were never pretty, and
the last thing I wanted was to let them get
to me and tear up the high I’d gotten with
Cooper.
“People are talking about you again in
a good way,” Mom said.
“Yeah, I guess,” I said. There was a
knock at the front door, and I peeked up to
see Miller standing on the other side of the
screen. I motioned him in and pressed my
finger over my lips. “Hey Mom, sorry,
someone from wardrobe just showed up to
—”
She gasped. “They’re sending them to
your house now?”
“That’s what happens when you’re
washed up,” I replied sarcastically.
“Don’t be ridiculous, you’re
nineteen.”
“Twenty in two weeks,” I pointed out.
I wasn’t sure if she remembered so maybe
this would serve as a reminder for her not
to miss out on my birthday. When we
disconnected seconds later, I pushed my
hair out of my face and gave Miller an
apologetic smile. “Sorry about that. My
mom is . . .”
Scratching the center of his close-
cropped hair, he chuckled. “You don’t
have to tell me, I’ve got one too.” We sat
there for nearly a minute, in one of those
awkward silences, and then Miller said,
“So you’re ready to go?”
“What?”
He frowned for a moment, checked his
phone’s screen, and then answered. “You
said you were doing community service
this afternoon, right?”
Fuck.
Of course I’d told him that yesterday
afternoon, before I’d changed my mind
about going to Cooper’s party. “I’ve got
shit for brains today,” explained.
He flushed and looked down, and then
I groaned, because he knew exactly where
I’d gone last night.
“I’m just going to go die now,” I
murmured before skulking back to my
bedroom to throw on some old clothes.
Miller was good enough not to say
anything about Cooper, but when we
arrived at the shelter he took a deep
breath. “I know that I’m just the guy hired
to watch out for you.”
I rolled my eyes. “If you give me that
you suck at your job thing, I’ll cut you.”
He laughed. “Oh, don’t worry; I’m on
high alert when it comes to you right
now.” I lifted an eyebrow, and he added,
“I like to think you won’t need me, but
people are . . . crazy.”
I buried my face into my hands. “Don’t