Tides of Honour (31 page)

“Get rid of him,” he heard Antoine say, just before he blacked out.

FORTY
-
FOUR

They dumped him by the
docks, where he blended in with other fallen men. When he awoke, he managed to force his swollen eyelids open, and he thought it might be dusk. The faintest hint of orange still shone on the grey sea of the harbour. Danny rolled to his hands and knees, spat blood from his mouth, and swiped an arm carefully across his face. It hurt to touch, and blood stained his sleeve. Groaning with effort, he stood and wrapped an arm around bruised ribs—one or two might even be broken, he thought. At least they'd left him his leg. It could have been worse. He could have been dead.

He limped slowly to the water, grunting with every movement, then cupped his hands and dipped them in the unforgiving cold of the harbour. Bracing himself, he splashed salt water over his torn face. It burned like acid.

He had nowhere to go but home now, and he'd go there a beaten man. He had lost. He had wanted so badly to prove he was the better man, the victor, but Antoine had won again.

All around him, rivers of rain trickled down the pebbled slope of the road and drained into the ocean. He looked toward the pier, now rebuilt over the spot where Johnny had died. Just
another pier. Another drab building without character, welcoming in the big ships from Europe, where men were being blown apart every day.

Danny had a sudden urge to step in the water, feel the grit of sand between his toes. Trying to ignore the bruises on his ribs, he sat on the edge of the dock and slipped off his shoe. He took off his sock, rolled it inside of the shoe, then set it to the side. Standing again, he folded up his pant legs and waded in. The water wasn't clean and clear like it was when it flowed past the peace of Jeddore, but just knowing at one point this same current might have wandered past his home made it feel good. He had an impulse to sink into it, sit chest-deep in the ocean current and watch the boats, like he'd done as a little boy.

It was time to go home. Home to the Shore. Tomorrow. Tonight he needed Audrey.

She wasn't home. When he stepped into the empty house, Danny thought about visiting the orphanage, but it was too late. Besides, he had a feeling the condition of his face would scare the boys pretty bad. Danny wandered into the kitchen and slumped over the sink, rinsing off the dried blood and salt. Everything hurt. What would Audrey say? Where was she?

A couple of hours later, Audrey came home. He had gone to bed and dozed off but awoke when he heard her latch the front door behind her. He visualized her moving smoothly through the entrance, the sitting room, the kitchen, followed the sound of her feet as they shuffled across the floor. He knew when she came closer and was surprised to hear her hesitate. She didn't normally do that.

The bedroom was dark, and a sliver of light from the outer rooms peeked in when she opened the door.

“Audrey?”

“Oh, Danny. It's late. I didn't mean to wake you.”

“Where have you been?”

Again that little hesitation. Danny felt a tingle of fear at the base of his neck.

“I went . . . out,” she said. He sensed her hanging her coat in the corner of the room and remembered it was raining outside. She slipped off her shoes and started to unbutton her blouse.

“Audrey, come here, would you? You're makin' me nervous.”

She came to the side of the bed and stood a moment, looking down. The darkness hid all evidence of Danny's beating, but not the angle of her face as she dropped her chin to her chest.

“I . . . I went to see Pierre,” she said.

Bile rose in Danny's throat, and he knew. Despite everything she'd said, she loved Antoine. He and Audrey were through. Danny didn't say a word.

“Danny,” she whispered. She tried to sit on the side of the bed, but he put a hand up, holding her back. If she touched him, he wasn't sure what he would do. “It is not what you think,” she said. “I went to thank him, yes, but also to ask him to leave you alone. I was just so afraid he'd hurt you! And I thought—”

His voice was rock-hard. “Why, Audrey? You don't think I can take care of myself? I'm such a cripple?”

He saw her flinch and knew Pierre had used that term—again.

“No, it's not that. You know it's not that. But lots of men work for him, and well, he pays them to hurt people. I didn't want him to send them after you.”

“Oh, really,” he said dryly, running his tongue over his split lip. “Did you kiss your lover goodbye?”

She sniffed. “Of course not. Don't even say that. I realize now that I shouldn't have gone. I should have left it as it was. I only wanted everything to be fine with all three of us. Make it all go away so that no one gets hurt.”

“Too late.” He snorted. “No one gets hurt. That's a good one, Audrey. Did you tell him you loved him?”

“I told him goodbye.”

“Did you tell him you loved him?” he insisted.

The tiniest of hesitations, then she took a deep breath and let it go. “No. I never loved him, Danny. Never. But you have to understand that he did a lot for me. He took care of me. He made me feel good about myself, and to be truthful, he made me feel beautiful. He was good to me.” Her voice hardened a little. “I had to say thank you, didn't I? I had to thank him for everything he'd done for me. This is not about you, Danny. It's about him and me. That's all. I don't understand why you are so hurt that I went there for that.”

“How could I not be hurt, Audrey? How could I not feel betrayed when you go, in secret, to the one man who almost destroyed us? To beg for my sake? You think I'm so useless that I need you to sneak around and defend me? Because I'm not, Audrey. I can handle myself. It's you I can't trust.”

The darkness seemed suddenly complete. She didn't move. It was like she'd stopped breathing, though her slender shadow still stood beside the bed.

“Please don't,” she whispered. “Please, Danny.”

She reached a hand out, but his eyes were closed, and he didn't sense her there until her cool, wet fingertips grazed his cheek. He hissed at the pain and pulled away. She was instantly at his side, leaning over him.

“What's happened, Danny? What have you done?”

“It's nothing.”

“What is that? You're hurt! You're hurt badly! What—”

She spun around and left the room, then returned moments later with a lit candle, its flame dancing in a bright yellow circle before her. Danny stared at the ceiling, arms crossed. This was going to get complicated.

Her gasp was quick, her fingers light when she saw the damage. Danny kept his eyes open but lowered his gaze, watching hers.

“Who did this, Danny? Why?”

“Why do you think?” His words were like venom. They were out before he could stop them, even if he'd wanted to. “Guess you didn't get there in time.”

She was quiet for a moment, brushing dark strands of hair back from his brow. God, he loved her. It hurt how much he loved her. Through the candlelight he could see the pain in her expression, knew she ached to find him again through the jumble of broken promises, but he did nothing to help. She was on her own.

And she knew it. Audrey set her jaw and spoke in a low voice. “That's why I went, Danny. That's why I had to go and ask him to stop. I wanted to make him promise to leave you alone. I thought if I could only make him see reason . . . You know I don't think of you as a . . . as a . . . cripple. It has nothing to do with your leg. It has everything to do with all the thugs he has working for him. They could have killed you!”

“I ain't dead.”

She pressed gently against his brow, and he hissed through his teeth. “No, thank God. You're too stubborn to be dead.” Her fingers continued to caress his forehead, tracing soft lines that made him want to close his eyes and disappear into the sensation. “Oh, Danny. I can't stand this. What happened to us?”

He ignored the question. “How could you?” he demanded. “How could you go to him after everything we talked about? It
wasn't up to you, Audrey. It's up to me. I'm the man. I'm the one who is supposed to protect you, take care of you, make you so happy you don't need anyone else. He can't go away feeling he's won. I'm the one who has to come out on top. It's the only way I can feel all right about this. But now . . .” He closed his eyes and breathed, waiting for emotion to die down before he spoke again. “Now you've taken that from me, Audrey. You took our trust, and you took my pride by doing that today. You took our future by doing that.”

“No, Danny,” she breathed. “No. You can't say that. I went because I needed a future with you. I needed you alive.”

“I might be alive, but I've got nothing left.”

“Not true,” she said. Her voice wobbled into the beginning of a sob. “You have me. You'll always have me.”

“Ha!”

“Please, Danny. Please!”

The rain picked up again, hard enough that it sounded as if someone had thrown a bucket of nails at the window. The house shuddered.

“How do I know?” he finally asked.

“Know what?”

“How do I know I can trust you? How do I know you don't love him? How do I know it's not just obligation that's brought you back here?”

“Oh, Danny! How can you say that?”

“How can I not?”

Tears ran down her cheeks, golden in the candlelight. “Because I love you, and you know that. I have never loved anyone but you.”

She sounded tired and defeated. Danny wasn't sure how he felt about that. He had to admit it was good to hear the honest pain in her voice and know he wasn't the only one suffering. But
everything in his heart ached to comfort her. To pull her against him and breathe her in.

“It was a mistake,” she whispered. “The biggest mistake I've ever made. But it's in the past, Danny. It's nothing compared to you and me. I love you, Danny. I've always loved you. I can't imagine living without you. Please forgive me. Please?”

A gust slammed the rain against the trembling windowpane. It made him cold. It made him want to hold her tight and believe. God, he wanted to believe. In her, in them, in himself.

“Blow out that candle and come to bed, Audrey. We'll see how we are in the morning.”

She lay naked beside him almost instantly, leaving her clothes in an unaccustomed heap by the side of the bed in her urgency. Her fingers touched his shoulder, her thigh pressed against his, and he rolled toward her, closing his eyes against the tears. Her head lay on his battered chest, her curls cold and wet against his skin. She gripped him like a lifeline, and it hurt. His bruises, his heart. It all hurt. She shook in his arms, sobbing, and he held her, but he couldn't quite get past that hole in his heart where trust used to be.

“I don't know what to do, Audrey. It's all wrong.”

“Give it time,” she whispered. “Please. I promise. It will be fine again. Please.”

His fingers brushed the soft skin of her breast, tracing the slope he knew so well. She pressed closer against him, and he held her to her promise.

“Love me,” she begged.

“I never stopped loving you, Audrey.”

His lips found hers, and he inhaled her breath, the sweet scent that always made his heart skip. They kissed and touched and breathed together until he could wait no longer, then he melted into her warmth and fell in love all over again. He leaned down
and nuzzled into the curve of her neck afterward, relishing the taste of her drying sweat. Her pulse was steady and promising under his lips. He sighed and lowered his ear onto the pillow beside her.

“I'm ready to go home,” he said softly. “Are you?”

She breathed deeply and he felt her cheek tighten in a smile. “I just need to pack a few things and I'll be ready. Let's go, Danny. You and I, we're not meant to be city folk.”

“I think you're right. We'll go in the morning. Nothing to keep us here.”

FORTY
-
FIVE

Danny slept lightly, his mind
caught up in so many circles. He awoke finally at five a.m. to the sound of the front door slamming shut.

“Everybody up!” he heard. “It's a day to celebrate!”

From the sound of it, Mick had been out all night. Danny hopped out of their room, not bothering to attach his peg. His head pounded. He scrubbed his fingers through his hair and glared at Mick.

“What's this all about?”

Mick stared at Danny. “Whoa. Can't say that's much of an improvement to your face, pal. Horse kick you or what?”

Danny grunted and cocked an eyebrow, but it hurt to do it, so he let it drop. “It's nothing. What are you going on about? Better be important. You've woken Audrey, and she needs her sleep.”

Mick shrugged, then swept off his hat and plopped it on Danny's head. His coal black hair was pasted down against his skull, which told Danny the hat had been in place all night long. “Oh, it's important, Danny, my boy. Bring that pretty lady out here, if you please.”

Danny turned toward their room, but Audrey was at the
door already, wrapped in Danny's dressing gown. He loved when she wore that. She looked tiny, almost drowned in the long sleeves.

“Good morning, Mick,” she said, her voice a little groggy. “Have you been out all night?”

“I have, I have,” he said, grinning broadly. “Take a seat, would you? Do we have something to drink? Tea?”

“We were sleeping,” Danny growled.

“No? Oh, well. Maybe I'll just—”

“I'll get it,” Audrey said, turning toward the stove.

“No, no, no. Come here first,” he said, indicating two chairs by the table.

They sat close together, always touching. Danny leaned forward, frowning, his elbows on the table. Audrey leaned toward Danny, her fingers on his neck, his back, his bruised and swollen face, flitting everywhere. When they were comfortable, Mick opened the black leather bag he always carried and pulled out a folded newspaper, which he laid flat on the table in front of them. He smacked the front page with the back of his hand.

“Right. Well. What is it my grandfather used to say? If you lie down with dogs, you're liable to wake up with fleas. Well, I can tell you right now, this dog has had his day.”

HALIFAX BUSINESSMAN PIERRE ANTOINE: FRAUD.

THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS OF DONATED SUPPLIES SKIMMED AND SOLD FOR PROFIT. AT LEAST SIX LOCAL BUSINESSMEN TO BE INDICTED ALONG WITH ANTOINE.

“Mick,” Danny said, his voice low, his mouth curved up at the edges. “You've done it.”

Audrey was staring at the newspaper, eyes wide.

“Nice guy, huh?” The words escaped before Danny could stop
them. Fortunately, she didn't seem to notice. Her eyes followed the lines of type, skipping from line to line.

“He did all this?”

“He did indeed,” Mick said. “And more. Sorry, Audrey.”

Danny stared with awe at the article. “How'd you figure it all out?”

Mick chuckled. “Oldest trick in the book. Follow the money.” He opened both hands, palms up and lifted one, then the other, as if they were part of a scale. “Money comes from somewhere, and it goes somewhere. It kept going to Antoine. Actually, Danny, you got me going on it.”

He explained how Danny's comment a while back about missing donations to the orphanage had raised Mick's interest. He found out that Pierre Antoine's business had garnered practically every government contract for rebuilding the city, including managing the incoming supplies off the docks. Mick had gone down and spent time at the docks, watching food come in, counting boxes, watching distribution.

From what he'd seen, Antoine hadn't been satisfied with government money alone. The businessman paid off everyone he could think of at the docks, but the simple employees whose job it was to unload and load crates were overlooked. Those fellows had been more than happy to accept Mick's offer of cash for information. Everything they told him pointed to Antoine skimming off the incoming donations. After that, all Mick had to do was watch the ball roll. In time he discovered that the items Antoine's hired men stole were being sold to buyers on the other side of the border.

Mick had burrowed deep into an investigation of Antoine's side projects, and there were a lot of those: construction bribes, bootlegging, fraud, and more. Pierre Antoine was not the great, community-minded man others had thought he was. Using
friends and contacts, he had won contract after contract to distribute goods donated by the government to aid the victims of the explosion. One shipment here, one shipment there, and no one seemed to notice. No one but Mick. But Antoine was devious, and his deeds seemed practically impossible to reveal. It was frustrating, because Mick knew they were there. Just couldn't quite reach them.

Audrey's unexpected connection had been a gift from heaven.

“What will happen to him?” Audrey asked.

“Well, he cooled his heels in a cell last night, so we'll see how he feels about that. He'll be indicted this morning, locked up again, and to be honest, I hope they throw away the key. He took food off a lot of people's plates.”

Audrey was quiet, and Danny drew in beside her. “I feel stupid,” she admitted.

“Everyone makes mistakes, Audrey,” he said quietly. “You needed someone to believe in, and I wasn't there.”

She sat back, looking deflated. One hand rested on her stomach. “What have I done?”

He laid his hand over hers, though it took effort. “You've given us a head start on being a family. That's all.”

“Bet this changes the story on the rest of your family plans,” Mick said, grinning.

Danny stared at him for a moment. “You think . . .”

“Can't hurt to check.” He gave Danny his one-eyed wink. “But you might want to wait a few hours. Sun's not even up yet.”

Mrs. Munroe's cheeks flared red when Danny and Audrey approached her desk about five hours later. Danny tipped his hat and flashed her his widest smile. One of his front teeth ached
from the beating, and he hoped he wouldn't lose it. She stared, open-mouthed at the variety of bruises and cuts covering his face.

“Good morning again, Mrs. Munroe. I hope you had a pleasant evening.”

“Em . . .” She was flustered, trying to peel her eyes from his damaged face and pull her paperwork together in front of her at the same time. Her discomfort made Danny feel strangely satisfied. “Mr. and Mrs. Baker. Good morning to you both. I'm . . . I'm glad you've come back this morning. It seems, well, I'm in a bit of an embarrassing position. I hope you understand.”

“Oh, really?” he said, feigning innocence.

“Seems I spoke in haste the last time we met. Your papers have been reviewed.” Her sudden smile was painfully bright. “And I'm very pleased to inform you that you have been approved to adopt all three boys.”

Danny and Audrey grinned at each other, then turned back to the woman.

“Fancy that,” Danny said.

Papers in hand, the couple stepped into the street. A mist hung over the city, but the sun was trying hard, burning the fog in places. The air seemed clearer by the big black door to the orphanage, as if someone had swept the gloom away.

“After you, my dear,” Danny said, holding the door open for her.

The boys sat side by side at the big table, munching on crackers and cheese. Danny took a seat across from them, and Audrey sat by Harry.

Danny gave them a serious look and started right in without even saying hello. There didn't seem any need for formalities with these two.

“Do you fellas like fish for supper?” he asked.

The boys nodded, disregarding the crumbs that dropped
from their mouths. Their matching eyes stared at him. “What happened to your face?” Eugene asked.

“Aw, it was nothin',” Danny assured him. “Pretty, huh?”

The boys shook their heads. Danny shrugged. “Do you like fishing?”

They looked at each other, and Harry blurted out, “Never fished before,” shooting bits of cracker flying across the table.

“Don't speak with your mouth full,” Audrey said, and Harry obediently snapped his mouth shut.

Danny scratched his head, appearing to consider something of the utmost importance. When he spoke again, his words were deliberate. “Do you think you'd like to try fishing? A couple of strong boys like you would be a big help up at my house.”

The nodding started again and both pairs of eyes widened further. Eugene swallowed hard. “Can we come live with you, Danny?”

He leaned toward them, still frowning. “Would you like that? Would you like me and Audrey to be your new mother and father?”

“Can you?” Harry squeaked.

Audrey beamed. “We would like that very much. It would be a big change for you—”

“And Norman too?” Eugene glanced at the little boy, slumped comatose against the wall, snorting with baby dreams.

“Of course Norman too. Couldn't very well go without him, could we?”

“Can we go on a boat?”

“I might even let you steer.”

“Can we go right now?”

“You'll have to be a little patient, Harry. Audrey and I are going to go to Jeddore to build us a nice big house on the ocean. You fellas would like that, right? And we'd live right by your new grandparents. Can you wait that long?”

Both boys shook their heads, and their eyes simultaneously filled with tears. Danny and Audrey exchanged a glance, silently debating what to do. Then Danny shrugged.

“Well, we'd be pretty busy building that new house. Do you think you'd be good helpers?”

“I can hammer,” Eugene said, then glanced doubtfully at the sleeping Norman. “He can't do much, but we'd take care of him and keep him out of your way.”

“I can carry stuff,” Harry said quietly.

Audrey smiled then hugged the little boy. Danny was speechless, watching the sweet round face squeeze against her. This was everything he had wished for and more.

“Yeah,” he said. “You know what? Let's go home today.”

The boys stared without speaking, hardly daring to believe, then they jumped to their feet and ran in circles, chanting, “We're going fishing! We're going fishing!”

But there was something Danny had to do first. He drew Audrey close against him and she smiled. “What?” she asked, blinking up at him with that beautiful, open expression of trust he lived for.

“I gotta go do something, okay? Take care of something.”

“All right,” she said. “Where are we going?”

He kissed her forehead, then stood. “Alone, Audrey. I gotta go alone. You stay with the boys and see if we have to do anything with papers or whatever. I'll be back soon.”

He liked the shadow of worry that flitted over her face. It meant she cared. “Where are you going? Why can't I come?”

“Just gotta visit an old friend is all. Don't you worry.”

She walked toward the door with him, her expression full of concern. “You're not going to—”

“Don't ask, Audrey. You don't want to know.”

“Oh, you fool!” she cried. “Leave it alone. He nearly had you killed the last time.”

They stopped by the door, and Danny held her face between his hands so she couldn't look away. He felt her instinctively pull back, but he held her close. “Listen, Audrey. This is something you have to understand. I am a man. I have a man's pride. And in order to keep that pride, I have to believe I am still strong. That I am not a coward. This man took everything from me, then you went behind my back and tried to make it all right. Well, it's not all right. It will never be all right. But at least if I finish it my way, I will be able to move forward. Do you understand?”

She shook her head, eyes filled with tears. “No, I don't.”

“Do you want to be married to me?”

“Of course, Danny! But look at you! Your poor face—”

“It'll heal. But you gotta let me do this. Even if you don't understand why, you have to understand that it's important to me. You don't need to worry. I'll be safe. I'll be careful, and I will come back here for you. But you have to let me do this.” He hesitated. “If you don't, we're done. Because I won't be me anymore.”

She stared at him, hardly breathing. A single tear trickled down the side of her nose and clung to the side of his hand. She nodded.

“I'll be back in an hour. Maybe you could see what needs doing here so we can cast off later today.”

“Okay,” she said, then closed her eyes when he kissed her.

“I love you, Audrey. Always have, always will.”

“I love you too,” she whispered into his ear. “Come back soon.”