TietheKnot (2 page)

She’d lived here with him but it
had never felt like home. It had always bothered her. It was
his
place,
not
their
place.

She sat gingerly on the white sofa.
She’d always been worried about spilling something on it. Thank God she hadn’t
given up her loft apartment in nearby Adams Morgan and had just sublet it on a
month-to-month basis, or she would have had to scramble to find an apartment
when they’d separated.

He retrieved a DVD from his media
shelf. All of his DVDs were alphabetized and sorted by genre. Like everything
in Sax’s place, it was manically organized.

But she’d never seen the hidden DVD
stash in the slick black box, situated behind all of the Harry Potter movies.
He placed one in the player and sat on the opposite side of the couch.

“You said you wanted to talk
privately, that’s why we couldn’t stay at Starbucks but I’m not in the mood to
watch a DVD with you. This isn’t a date, it’s a discussion.”

“We are going to talk first, but
eventually you will need to see the DVD.”

Well,
that
sounded ominous.
What the hell could be on the video?

She wrapped her chilled hands
around the thick paper cup to warm her icy fingertips before she took a long,
slow sip of her caramel macchiato. Having this conversation wasn’t going to be
easy. She closed her eyes briefly, letting the caramel and coffee work its
magic as she willed herself to be open to what he had to say.

I will not lose my temper. I
will NOT lose my temper.

She nodded toward his drink. “How’s
your tea?”

Sax set his cup on the coffee
table. “This isn’t tea, Mags.” He pried the lid off and hoisted the tea bag
from his cup to show her. “This bag of stuff is the remains of the tea leaves
you find at the bottom of a proper box of loose tea. It wishes it were tea.” He
let it plop back into the brown water with undisguised disdain.

“Then why did you order it?”

He quirked an eyebrow at her. “I’m
English. What am I going to do, drink coffee?”

Her lips twitched, but immediately
she squelched it. No flirting. She was just here for information.

He looked uncomfortable. She was
used to seeing him in charge of a situation, at ease and confident, but he
seemed troubled and that set her teeth on edge.

He didn’t speak and neither did she
and the silence stretched between them. Awkward and endless.

She took a bite of the brownie and
chewed, but it tasted like ashes in her mouth. Her stomach churned as she
wondered what awful thing he would say. She plopped the brownie on a brown
napkin and sat back, folding her arms over her chest. “Okay, I’ve had my coffee
and chocolate, so I’m highly caffeinated and very calm.” She blew out a slow,
soothing breath. “Let’s talk.”

He splayed his hands in a
supplicating gesture. “I don’t think marriage counseling is working and I don’t
want to do it anymore.”

She nodded. “I agree. But it isn’t
working because
you
don’t want to open up.”

“Agreed. No more counseling.”

Minutes passed.

“So, what is it? You don’t want to
talk to the doctor or to me?”

He shook his head. “That’s not it
at all. There is a
situation
but I can handle it by myself.”

Situation.

That could mean anything. She bit
her lower lip. Something had been bothering her for the six weeks they’d been
separated, but she hadn’t voiced it. Sax worked at a law firm with many
attractive women and he put in long hours, working well into the night. Of
course, she’d wondered if he’d had an affair, met someone else. But she had
wanted him to tell her of his own accord, not because she’d brought it up. She
didn’t want to seem suspicious or jealous, but she had to know.

“Okay. I need to ask you a
question. I’m not making an accusation. I’m not going to lose my cool. I just
want a straight answer. Whatever you have to say, I can handle it.”

He nodded. “Fine. Ask me anything
you like.”

“Sax, were you having an affair?”
He was about to speak but she waved him away. “Before you deny it, I want you
to think carefully. The last month we lived together you and I hardly talked.
You didn’t want sex and you rebuffed me every time I tried to initiate it.
Obviously, your, um, needs were being satisfied elsewhere. Is that why things
were off between us sexually? Is that what you couldn’t tell me? You’d met
someone else?”

His brow furrowed, as though
confused by the very suggestion. “No, nothing like that.” He paused, meeting
her eyes, clearly choosing his words carefully. “I would never
have sex
with another woman. I wanted only you. I
still
want you.” His hand
reached for hers, warm and big, enveloping her with its heat. “Since we have
been married, you are the only woman I have been
sexually
intimate with.
There hasn’t been another.”

Sax was many things, but a liar
wasn’t one of them. If he had been having an affair, he would have told her
just then. She let go of the breath she’d been holding. He had told her the
truth, but something was
off
about the way he said it.
Sexually
intimate.
What a strange turn of phrase.

They stared at each other a moment
and she could feel the tension rise between them. She remembered all too well
what it was like to touch him, kiss him. Jesus. She was getting turned-on just
touching his hand. She dropped it and scooted back from him.

It was no good. Even though he
wasn’t touching her, he stroked her with his eyes. He gazed at her face, down
to her breasts, taking in every single movement of her shaky breaths. Heat
flared. She ducked her head as a surge of desire rippled through her. Maggie
shook her head, trying to regain some sort of perspective.

She stood, wrapped her arms around
herself and cleared her throat, trying to dispel the sexual tension. “Thank you
for your honesty.” At least he finally stated that there was a problem, he’d
been evasive for weeks. “What about the issue you mentioned? What is it?”

He nodded. “Maggie, I’m sorry I
didn’t bring this up before. I should have. But I am now. I want to let you
know what the issue is. You deserve to know.”

They’d gotten married at City Hall
in such a rush, and that had to be a big part of the problem. Even after a year
of marriage, they really didn’t know each other that well.

He shook his head, a little muscle
working in his jaw. He refused to meet her eyes, instead walking to the bank of
windows. Talking about anything very personal was hard for him. He was the type
of guy who showed he cared about you by taking your car to get serviced at the
dealer, or making you a pot of coffee in the morning. His actions always spoke
for him. She’d understood that from the very beginning, but sometimes being in
a relationship with him felt terribly lonely. As though he kept her at arm’s
length.

She could feel the frustration
rising. “I can help, Sax. All you have to do is trust me. Whatever it is. Just
tell me. It can’t be that big of a deal.”

He swallowed. “That’s why I want to
show you the film.”

“Seriously. The DVD? You’d rather
show me this stupid thing than just say it?” She could feel her temper
intensifying. She’d been living in this crazy sort of limbo for nearly two
months. Not divorced and not married. He wouldn’t tell her what was going on.
He was just infuriatingly close-mouthed and so polite about the whole process.
They even had an amicable separation, for pity’s sake. He’d insisted on paying
her rent at her old apartment and giving her money for “incidentals”, but he
wouldn’t tell her what the hell was going on.

“Seriously, Sax, whatever it is? I
can handle it. I’ve gone through every conversation we’ve ever had, obsessed
over all the details of our relationship. So, just lay it on me. You’re gay?
You were originally a woman? You have sex with goats? What?”

He shook his head. “None of those
things.” Then he forced a laugh, trying to lighten the mood. “Goats?”

She made a face. “Don’t try to
distract me. Sax, we’re separated. We hardly talk. I don’t think you’re coping
with it, whatever ‘it’ is. And I know that my nerves are shot. I’m tired of
this.” She sank lower in her seat and expelled a long, slow breath.
Yep,
this was hopeless.
“I just can’t stand it. That silence. That quiet between
us. The way we would be in a room and not speak. Together but miles apart. I
won’t do that ever again.”

“I can tell you but that wouldn’t
cover it. It’s better if you see for yourself.” He looked at her with pleading
eyes, but his jaw tightened. “Mags, don’t give up on me.”

“I’m not giving up on
you
.
I’m giving up on
us
. That’s our biggest problem. You don’t share with
me. You should trust me. Depend on
me
.”

“But I want to take care of you.”

“I want to take care of you too.
That’s what couples do for each other, but it’s a two-way street.” She shook
her head.
God damn that man.
He had the ability to suck her right in
again. Just like nothing had happened. “Or at least I did.” She forced herself
to say it, to insert some emotional distance between them.

He grabbed his cup and took a long
drag from his tea, setting it down once more as though he’d just tossed back a
shot of whiskey. “Before you decide anything, let me show you.” He pushed the
play
button on the remote.

She folded her arms over her chest.
“Fine. Thrill me.”

They both watched in silence for a
few seconds. From the way he’d reacted earlier, the video could have been
anything. Surveillance footage from a bank robbery or a CIA message that would
explode in the DVD player.

Okay, maybe she had seen one too
many movies, but with the way he was acting? Nothing was off the table.

Sax flicked off the lights and sat
a short distance from her on the couch. A title splashed in red text came
across the screen.
Mastering Elaine.
Some swanky seventies music started
up. From the grainy picture and barely existent plot, this DVD could only be
one thing.

A porn flick.

She flashed a look at Sax, but his
eyes were riveted on the screen. Was Sax in the porn industry? Did he act in
films? Make them? Is that what he wanted to tell her but couldn’t find the
words?

The woman in the DVD was nearly
nude and beautiful. Large rounded breasts, velvety-white skin and long red hair
that fell below her shoulders. She scrubbed the kitchen counter with a rag.
Maggie nervously twirled a strand of her own red hair and couldn’t help but
notice the similarities between herself and the woman.

The actress in the film wore a
flimsy pair of lacy pink panties and a filmy white negligee. Because most women
cleaned in their fancy underwear? Her nipples were visible through the thin
fabric. A man came onto the scene and said
something
, not that Maggie
could concentrate. The visual had stolen her ability to speak. The man ordered
her to kneel. She obediently crouched on the floor and he walked around her,
circling her like a shark.

The man was bare-chested, with a
long shaggy flow of dark hair. He seized her hand and pressed it against his
crotch, his dick visibly swollen in his tight, faded jeans. She caressed his
cock through the fabric until finally he grabbed her, pulling her to her feet
and trapping her against the hard wall of his chest. Back to front, so the
audience could get a good look at the woman. Caging her in against his body
with one hand, he delved the other between her thighs and rubbed her clitoris
through the filmy fabric of her panties. He spread her pussy lips apart,
pushing the damp fabric aside, giving the camera a full view of the pink folds
of skin.

She was lusciously wet. Pink and
swollen. He pushed two thick fingers into her and the woman groaned, her legs
shaking. Next, he pushed the negligee off her shoulders and touched her
breasts, tweaking them until her nipples stood at attention, two tiny stiff
peaks. He took them in his big hands, squeezing them, jiggling them for the
camera so they bounced up and down. She looked ripe and ready, her mouth open,
her eyes half shut. Her pussy exposed.

This woman wanted to be fucked.

Then he hauled her over to a
countertop behind them and pressed her down on it. He tore off her panties and
pushed her legs open. The camera once more focused on her wet, creaming pussy.

Maggie moaned. She was wet, despite
herself.

“This is what I like,” Sax
murmured, his voice low and husky. He stroked his hand up and down the length
of the armrest. She remembered all too well how good his touch felt. “I like to
dominate women sexually. I like to control them. Their pleasure, their pain.”

This was the big secret. Sax was
into bondage, domination.

She sucked in a breath. Unsure of
what to do. As secrets go, she supposed it wasn’t
that
bad. She’d been
prepared for anything, so this was sort of a relief.
Sort of.
She never
would have guessed. He’d always been so gentle in bed. Almost polite. Maybe
he’d been deliberately holding back.

While she found the idea arousing,
obviously, the thought of actually engaging in bondage and submission repelled
her. It seemed cold. Putting power between yourself and the person you slept
with.

Suddenly, she became aware that Sax
was staring at her and she could feel her heart kick in her chest, pounding
against her rib cage. His eyes raked over her. He turned the DVD off and now she
clearly had his full attention.

Sax wanted her.

She could see it. His cock pressed
against his pinstriped trousers, distending the fabric. Thick and long. His
blue eyes had been eclipsed by large black pupils. She could almost feel the
desire ripple between them. A swollen pause, an uncomfortable silence filled
the distance between them. She squeezed her legs together, dismayed by how her
swollen and dripping sex had betrayed her.

“Say something,” he muttered.
“Anything.”

Confused and stirred by the film,
she couldn’t seem to form much of a thought right now, let alone a response. “I
don’t know what to say.” Truthfully, she didn’t. She hadn’t expected this sort
of fetish. Didn’t know what she felt about it. She was stunned, aroused, and
more than a little perplexed.

“I want you.” His voice was rough,
a guttural admission.

“Oh,” she breathed. She wanted him
too. That much she knew.

He stood from the couch, towering
over her. He held out his hand and it shook just a little. “Yes or no, Mags?”
he asked. “It’s been far too long since I last touched you. It’s hell being
near you and not being able to touch you. Feel you.”

She wholeheartedly agreed with
that. She wanted to touch him, wanted to be in his arms again, but she wasn’t
certain if she could actually give herself to him
that
way, to be
completely submissive.

“Don’t tease. You won’t like what
happens to girls who tease.” He swallowed thickly. “If it is going to be no,
I’d advise you to run for the door.”

She’d never seen him like this.
Animalistic. Aroused and sort of dangerous. God, she wanted him. Walking out
the door was unthinkable. “Yes,” she murmured. “The answer is yes.”

And then he was on her.

Sax grabbed her up in his arms and
slung her over his shoulder, carrying her down the white carpeted hall to his
bedroom like a caveman with a conquest. She was so aroused that she shuddered
in his arms.

He laid her down on the big expanse
of his California king-sized bed, facedown on the black coverlet. When she
tried to turn over, he pressed her down. “Don’t you dare move.” He removed her
boots, peeled off her long denim skirt and hooked his thumbs in her blue
panties, pulling them down around her ankles and then tossing them on the
floor.

Leaving her naked from the waist
down. She could hear the ragged sound of his breathing. She could feel the
moisture running down her thighs and he hadn’t even touched her yet.

“Now get on your knees.” He moaned
as her flesh was revealed to him. “I’d forgotten how sweet your pussy is. Pink
and puffed out for me.”

She lifted her ass in the air
tentatively. She felt so vulnerable, so exposed. Her hot skin and the cool air
caused goose pimples to ripple over her flesh. She looked over her shoulder at
him. Sax was transfixed, staring at her pussy like a starving man eyeing a juicy
steak. “Sax, could we—”

“Shh,” he murmured. “Don’t speak. I
want you to feel. I want you to try this my way.”

“Okay.” Her heart galloped and she
sucked in a deep breath. She faced his wrought iron headboard once more.
Confused and aroused, but she trusted him enough to see where this led.

“I’m going to take you hard. Tell
me you want that, Maggie. Tell me you want me to fuck you. I want that
tightness between your legs and I want to take it my way. Now tell me! Tell me
you want me to fuck you.”

Oh God, did she ever. And that
word.
Fuck.
That’s what she needed. What she wanted. She wanted Sax to
fuck her, not make love. That would come later. She remembered all too well how
his cock had felt inside her, thick and hard, the big head pushing its way into
her. Owning her. Fucking her. Over and over again. Creating a delicious sort of
friction.

She heard him unzip his fly and
push the pants down before flinging them across the room. She watched as they
fell beside the nightstand.

It had been almost two months since
they’d last touched. She needed the hard length of him inside her. No other man
had ever aroused her the way he did.

“Yes. Take me.” She balanced on her
elbows and wiggled her ass at him. “Fuck me.”

Sax growled in his throat. “Christ.
Look at that wet pussy.” He put a finger in and she yelped, moving
instinctively against the intrusion. “You do want me to fuck you, don’t you,
girl?”

“Ah God, yes.” This was a whole new
side of Sax. Demanding, sexually aggressive. And apparently he had a penchant
for teasing that bordered on tortuous. She didn’t think she could take anymore.
It had been weeks.
Weeks.
“Take me!”

He pulled his finger away and she
moaned at the loss.

“Is this what you want, love?” He
got behind her, prodding her with his cock head, pushing it provocatively
between the cheeks of her ass. “You want my big, thick cock inside you?”

“Yes!”

“Mmm,” he moaned, stroking his hot
flesh against hers. “Have I ever told you what a delicious backside you have?
Small waist and a peach ass. I have wanted to see it blush a rosy red since I
met you. Wanted to spank you and fuck you silly afterward.”

“Oh,” she breathed. It was hot, in
a strange way. She was torn. A spanking? But somehow the thought of his big
hands smacking her had an undeniable erotic appeal.

“Do you want that, Maggie? Do you
want me to slap your ass? Get you ready for my big cock?”

“Yes!”

“Good girl,” he murmured. He gave
her ass a smack and she mewled. Somehow, it only intensified the hunger raging
inside. What the hell was happening to her? She’d worry about that later.

He leaned over her and whispered
into her ear, “If I do anything you don’t like, say the word ‘coffee’ and I
will stop right away. Understood?”

“Understood.” So far everything was
pretty amazing.

“Excellent,” he purred, running a
hand down the length of her bare back. He played with her ass. Slapping it and
then alternately soothing it with his hand. Rubbing the tender flesh. He
squeezed her ass cheeks, pushed them apart. “Look at that tight little hole.
Such a shame I haven’t had you here yet.”

He walked to the side of the bed
and removed a bottle of lubricant. He showed it to her and squeezed out a thin
clear line of it on his forefinger.

Maggie winced as the cold lube made
contact with her asshole but then relaxed as he patiently rubbed it, working
the lube over the puckered skin and then inside her. “Would you let me fuck you
here?”

“Oh! I don’t know.” The idea had
always repelled her, but the sensation his finger evoked made her suddenly
doubt her aversion. The friction of it was so intense, she wanted him to push
it all the way in.

Sax chuckled. “Excellent. You are
thinking about it.” With the other hand he smacked her bottom again. Then he
began to prod in earnest, settling his thick finger inside her. She couldn’t help
but push back against him as he moved it in and out.

And her pussy was on fire. She’d
never wanted him more.

“Look at that. Wish you could see
how beautiful you look. Your white skin has this rosy glow. Beautiful.” He
spanked both cheeks again, still finger-fucking her ass. Then with the other
hand, he delved between her thighs, rubbing her clit, and eased two fingers
deep inside her pussy. He worked them both, her pussy and her ass, and she
strained against him, moving in time to his rhythm.

“Oh yes. Yes!” She writhed on the
bed, needing something harder. Larger. Deep inside. Something thick. “Fuck me,
Sax. Fuck me. Please!” She couldn’t believe she was begging. But she needed
this. Needed
him
.

“Mmm, yes. I think it’s time.”

“Oh God, yes,” she moaned.

He pulled her arms back behind her
and she lay on her belly, with her ass still high in the air. “I need something
to hold on to while I fuck you.”

Maggie shivered. God, she couldn’t
remember being this excited.

“I have wanted you just like this.
Helpless and wanting. Perfect.” His voice was low. Raspy.

Sax positioned himself at her
entrance and lunged into her. Big. Thick. Hot. Hard. His cock demanded
entrance, sinking all the way in and then driving out mercilessly. He used her
restrained arms for leverage as he pulled her hips back against his own. As if
he owned her body. And maybe he did. She’d never felt this out of control
before. Her body was at his command and she loved it.

With a wail she came. He followed
shortly after, driving into her, shouting his triumph and filling her with his
cum.

* * * * *

Half an hour later, Sax lay on his
bed. His heart jack-hammered in his chest. He had trouble believing this wasn’t
some sort of fevered dream. A masturbatory hallucination. He’d never considered
she would want him like this.

She stirred beside him and he
kissed her upturned mouth. Her eyes fluttered open.

Sax rubbed the pad of his thumb
over her lips. “You take my breath away. I always figured you for such a
straitlaced girl. Thank you for trusting me. For giving yourself to me this
way.” He kissed her cheek and then kissed his way down the white expanse of her
throat. “I have wanted you like this from the moment I first saw you.”

Maggie pushed him away and sat up
in bed, crossing her arms around herself. She wouldn’t look him in the eye.

Oh hell. He hoped he didn’t push
for too much too fast.

“I have really missed you,” he
admitted. He stroked her arm.

Maggie turned, facing him though
she wouldn’t meet his eyes. From the way her teeth sank into her lower lip and
the firm set of her shoulders, he could tell she was confused by what they’d
done. Even though he knew she’d enjoyed herself. She’d been wet and willing and
had orgasmed for him.