Till the Sun Shines Through (7 page)

‘I don't blame her,' Bridie said. Delia's brother Aiden had married his Maria and now had two boys of three and two and a baby girl of six months old. He'd gone to America and got work with a gang of navvies in Central America, but so far had found nowhere suitable for his family to live so that they could join him. Rosalyn was fond of her young aunt and, feeling sorry for her, often went round to give her a hand.

‘I told you I don't want to get married,' Bridie said. ‘Didn't you tell me Maria has barely time to blow her nose?'

‘God, Bridie, you're little better,' Rosalyn reminded her and Bridie knew she had a point. ‘Ah, but it would be worse if I had weans to see to as well,' Bridie said. ‘Weans are lovely when they're someone else's. I mean I love Mary's, but want none of my own yet a while.'

‘Well, it wouldn't be sensible without a husband,' Rosalyn said with a giggle and Bridie gave her a push.

‘You know what I mean.'

‘Oh I know all right,' Rosalyn said with a nod and a wink, and the girls laughed together.

But for all that, Bridie was looking forward to seeing Mary and her two sons, who were coming over for the last three weeks in August with Ellen and Sam. She knew that there would be little extra work involved for her, apart from making up the beds, as both Mary and Ellen would give a hand in the house.

When they arrived, Mary and Ellen were astounded at Bridie's workload and Ellen gave out both to Jimmy and Sarah for allowing it. ‘Get someone in to help on the farm,' she said sharply to her sister. ‘And if your Jimmy is too stiffnecked to do that, at least get someone in to help in the house.'

But Sarah was no more inclined to have a stranger in her kitchen than Jimmy was in his farm, Bridie knew, and realised the situation was unlikely to change. Ellen felt sorry for Bridie, but also for her sister too. She knew how much of a burden Sarah felt already and didn't want to add to her problems by continually carping at her.

There was little Ellen could do long-term to ease the situation for the family, but she did tackle Bridie about the social evenings that she had stopped going to. ‘I got out of the way of it when Mammy scalded herself,' Bridie said, and gave a shiver at the memory of it. ‘God, it was a desperate time.'

‘I'm sure it was,' Ellen said. ‘But what about afterwards, when your mammy recovered a bit?'

‘There is so much to do,' Bridie replied. ‘And I'm always so tired by the evening. It hardly seems worth it.'

‘Of course it's worth it,' Ellen retorted sharply. ‘It's not helpful to be buried away in this place with two old folk and never seeing anyone else day in and day out.'

‘I see Rosalyn.'

‘Aye, but isn't she at work every day?' Ellen said. She knew too that soon Bridie would lose Rosalyn as well because Delia was after telling her just that day of the offer Rosalyn had received that she'd be mad to refuse. She guessed that Bridie hadn't a hint of it, or she'd certainly have mentioned it. She knew also how much Bridie would miss her cousin and had no intention of telling her, particularly as the details were not finalised yet. However, Ellen knew it was even more vital now that her niece meet other young people. ‘You need to get out more,' she continued. ‘Jimmy tells me you hardly ever go into the town, even on a Fair Day.'

‘We can't both be away from the farm,' Bridie protested. ‘Anyway, I'd hesitate to leave Mammy.'

‘Well, you'll leave her tomorrow,' Ellen said determinedly, ‘because you and I are going to town. Mary is here to see to things – we'll take the rail bus in, so we will.'

‘But why are we going to town?'

‘Why? Because, my girl, I see you for ever in breeches and shirt. I bet you've nearly forgotten you're a girl – a young lady. For your first Harvest Dance, I want you to be the belle of the ball. We're going to choose the dress of your dreams.'

‘Oh,' said Bridie, and felt stirrings of excitement at the prospect of new pretty clothes. She went to bed that night dreaming of the next day.

‘Right, Sam,' Ellen said as the three of them reached the town, ‘here's the list Sarah and Jimmy gave me for things they need.'

Aye,' said Sam, taking it from her. ‘Where will you be when I finish?'

‘How would I know that?' Ellen asked. ‘I don't know how long things are going to take. Wait for us in the hotel and we'll have our dinner there before heading for home.' She nudged Bridie as she spoke. ‘Bit of a treat for you.'

It was a treat. The whole day out was just wonderful. Just to be there in the town, carefree and not with one eye on the clock all the time, worrying about her mother and knowing there would be a pile of jobs waiting for her back home, was sheer bliss. ‘Oh, Aunt Ellen,' she said. ‘It's tremendous, the whole thing. Thank you.'

‘God, girl, you've got nothing to thank me for yet,' Ellen cried. ‘Come on now, let's do some serious shopping.'

And with that, Ellen tucked her arm through Bridie's, gave a desultory wave to Sam and the two set off to conquer the town.

Ellen led the way to Dumphries, the elegant and pricey dress shop Bridie had never been through the door of before, where she had Bridie try on one dress after the other.

‘What d'you think? Which one do you like?' she asked Bridie who could only shake her head in reply. She'd never seen such clothes – how could she choose? One was as beautiful as the next.

‘Shall I tell you my choice then?' Ellen asked, and Bridie nodded her head eagerly. Ellen held up a dress of golden brown with a pattern of green and russet running through it. ‘Put this one on again.'

Bridie took it from her aunt. It was beautiful: the bodice was of fine shimmering material over a skirt of satin and was worn just off the shoulders. It felt so good next to her skin. ‘You don't think it too low?' she asked, anxiously tugging at it. It showed her figure to perfection with just a demure hint of cleavage.

‘Not at all,' Ellen said firmly. ‘It's a dance. Everyone will wear similar things. Trust me.'

‘But my shoulders are bare,' Bridie went on. She'd never had anything like this in her life. ‘Isn't it …? Maybe people will think it a little fast?'

‘Bridie, you're eighteen,' Ellen said. ‘The time for childish dresses is past – and you don't wear sensible clothes that you wear for Mass to a dance, especially your first.'

Bridie still looked doubtful and Ellen said, ‘I'll buy you a stole to cover your shoulders if you're so worried. But once the dancing starts, you won't want a stole hampering you. Come on, take it off and we'll get them to wrap it up. Now for the underneath.'

‘Underneath!'

‘Bridie, you don't wear flannel bloomers under a dress like this,' Ellen said with a twinkle in her eye. ‘We need lace bloomers and petticoats. No need for any sort of brassiere though, for the dress is fitted to show off your bust.'

Bridie felt her face flame with embarrassment at her aunt talking this way, and in the hearing of the shop assistants too. She knew full well the dress was fitted to show off her bust. That was what worried her most, especially the reaction of her mother when she saw just how much flesh the dress showed off.

She couldn't help, though, but be impressed by the soft bloomers with deep lace edging and the matching petticoats and before they left the shop, true to her word, Ellen bought a stole of soft brown wool shot through with threads of gold that went perfectly with the dress. Then she marched Bridie to the shoemaker's and bought her the softest, daintiest boots of tan leather.

‘And now,' she said as they stood outside the shoemakers, ‘I've made an appointment with the hairdresser.'

Bridie's hands immediately flew to her head. ‘My hair! What's the matter with my hair?'

‘Nothing,' Ellen said. ‘Or at least nothing that can't be fixed.'

‘What d'you mean?'

‘Now don't fly off the handle,' Ellen said. ‘I'm not talking of shaving your head, but it needs to be thinned a little. It's so thick it tangles easily. And then maybe a wee tadge off the length.'

Bridie had had little time to do anything with her hair but wash it for years, yet she was still apprehensive. But she needn't have worried. Submitting to the hairdresser's skill, she saw her natural waves again become apparent and the straggly locks cut off, reducing the length to just below her shoulders.

‘Do you like it?' she asked Ellen, still doubtful herself.

‘Like it? Girl, it's tremendous so it is,' Ellen said excitedly. ‘And d'you like the length? You could wear it down to the Harvest Dance. All you'd need would be two Spanish combs to fasten at each side. God, Bridie, you're going to look the business!'

Bridie's head was reeling. She'd never had so much spent on her in the whole of her life. ‘And now we'll be away to the hotel for a big feed,' Ellen said. ‘Come, girl, let's see you knock them dead in that place, even wearing those old clothes you have on. Their eyes will be out on stalks, so they will.'

‘Oh, Aunt Ellen,' Bridie said, her face flushing with embarrassment. Ellen wondered if she didn't see the way the men looked at her. Was she as unaware as she seemed to be of her beauty, and not just beauty alone, a sort of allure that seemed to draw people to her?

However, while Bridie might have been unaware of the interest of those in the town, she was more than aware of the astonishment of her family as she and Ellen turned into the yard later that afternoon.

They were all there waiting for her: Jimmy and Sarah, Mary with Mickey in her arms, and Jamie standing at her feet. No one spoke because no one could think of words to say. Bridie's gleaming hair bounced on her shoulders, the only restraint two sparkling combs in either side. The effect was to make her eyes look larger, even clouded with apprehension as they were now. Her mouth was strained a little as she awaited their verdict on what she'd done, what she'd allowed Aunt Ellen to do.

Mary recovered first. She went forward, handed the baby to her father and put her arms around her sister. ‘You look gorgeous,' she said. ‘Your hair really suits you like that.'

‘Wait till you see the dress,' Ellen said. ‘She'll look even better with the whole rig-out on.'

Later, alone in her room, Bridie tried on her new things. When she had pulled the dress on and had fastened it up, and fitted her feet into the dainty little boots, she turned to look at herself and was astounded at the reflection that stared back. Bridie had always thought Mary was the beautiful one in the family with her raven black hair, flawless skin and vivid green eyes. Now, though, she saw she had something special herself and she was quite unnerved by it.

Mary came into the room and stood in open-mouthed admiration. ‘God, Bridie,' she said, ‘you look fantastic!'

‘It's all Aunt Ellen's doing,' Bridie said proudly. ‘She said she was fed up seeing me in breeches and shirt. But these clothes, Mary, I'm not really sure, and she's spent a small fortune.'

Mary could tell that: you didn't get clothes like that for pennies. Yet she didn't resent the money Ellen had spent on her sister; Ellen was a generous woman and she'd had plenty of help from her herself. ‘Are you going to show Mammy and Daddy?'

‘D'you think I should? I mean what if Mammy doesn't like it?'

‘Why shouldn't she?'

‘Well, you know,' Bridie said. ‘It's so low. Won't she give out?'

Mary laughed. ‘She won't dare. It was Aunt Ellen's choice, don't forget. Tell her you'll keep the stole wrapped around your shoulders all evening.'

Sarah was inclined to say plenty when she saw her daughter come out of the room, but any misgivings she had were forestalled by the cries of admiration from Jimmy. Because Bridie was so small and because her shape had been hidden for so long – for even the few dresses she had already did little to flatter her – he'd not believed she'd changed much from the wee girl who used to trail after him. Now, it was as if the caterpillar had turned into a butterfly before his eyes.

Jimmy wasn't usually given to much praise of how a person looked: he and Sarah always believed it led to a person thinking too much of themselves. But now Jimmy crossed the room and put his hands on Bridie's shoulders and said softly, ‘Darling child, you look so lovely.' His gaze took in all around as he asked, ‘Did you ever see anything so beautiful?'

‘Thank you, Daddy,' Bridie said, relieved he wasn't shocked, disgusted even, at the cut of the dress. She stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek and he put his arms around her. She met Ellen and Mary's eyes across the room and they all knew, with Jimmy's open approval, Sarah would say nothing detrimental about the outfit.

Bridie was sorry to see her sister and aunt leave, and not just because they had shared the burden of work, allowing her free time to get to know and play with her nephews, but also because of their cheerful company.

But she was too busy to miss them for long, as the hay was ready to be cut and stacked in the barns for the winter feed. Francis and Frank came to help as they did every year and Jimmy and Bridie would then help them in return at their farm, Delia keeping them well supplied with sandwiches and tea as Sarah wasn't able to.

As she toiled alongside the men, slicing through the hay with her scythe, Bridie couldn't help recollecting the harvest time when she was small. She remembered what fun Uncle Francis he'd been then. His good humour and stock of jokes seemed to take some of the ache from bent backs and threshing arms. He'd always seemed tireless himself. Even after a day's work, he would think nothing of tossing Bridie and Rosalyn up on top of the stacks.

Bridie remembered the smell of newly mown hay, the thrill of fear as they slid down the sides of the stack and the way the bits of hay went up her nose and in between her clothes, tickling her. She was often tired, hot and dusty, yet she'd enjoyed the harvest then and had to admit most of that enjoyment had come from her uncle Francis. Now, she kept as far from him as possible and knew she'd be glad when it was over and she wouldn't have to work near him at all.