Authors: Shirley McKay
Hew exclaimed, âI could not tell!'
âAgnietje has lived here for sixty years. And she knows every turn and path, for here in the beguinage, there is little change. She does not venture out beyond these walls.'
âBut how, then, can she teach these little girls to spin?'
âIt is a long time,' the nun acknowledged, âsince Agnietje has made
lace. Yet she can spin the finest thread, of any sister in the beguinage. She spins the thread by touch. The flax is all the better spun in rooms of darkness, for the graze of sunlight glancing off the fibres breaks the brittle thread. The flax is spun like gossamer, a fineness and a lightness that makes the threads invisible on all except the blackest cloth. Her blindness is no hindrance in her craft; it is, perhaps, a gift.
â
Walk
, Katheline,' she admonished a small child, too anxious to be out among her friends. The girl dropped a curtsey, âPardon, ma dame Ursula.'
âWhich of these children is Lotte?' Hew asked impulsively.
The grande dame looked puzzled, âWhat do you mean?'
âLotte, the daughter of Beatrix van Straeten.'
The grande dame fixed him with a look, and waited till the children had trooped out with sister Agnietje, before she offered her reply.
âLotte is an infant, and too young to learn her letters; or, indeed, to spin, that we teach our little daughters from the age of six. Who are you, monsieur?' She spoke to him in the same calm tones of caution, with which she had admonished Katheline, and Hew had the sense he was being rebuked; he felt like a child in the schoolroom.
âMa chère grande dame . . .'
âMy name is Ursula.'
She was implacable, composed, and in a way, magnificent, and Hew had no conception how he might begin with her. He felt that he should fall before her on his knees, and began to understand why Robert had refused to come into the nunnery, for Ursula, he had no doubt, could see into his soul.
He did the simplest thing, and told the truth. âI have come from St Andrews in Scotland, to see Beatrix van der Straeten and Lotte. I bring her sad news of her husband. He came upon a ship into St Andrews Bay. The ship was wrecked, and all the crew were lost.'
Ursula said quietly, âJacob Molenaar is dead?'
âI fear it, ma dame.'
And he could see that Ursula had been affected by his tale, though she did not allow her mask to slip â and yet, he thought, the inference was false, for it was not a mask, but a seam of self assurance that ran through to the heart, like diamond through a rock.
âYour pardon, sir,' she said at last, âbut how am I to know you speak the truth?'
âHe left behind him letters,' answered Hew. âAnd he left this.' He took the ring out of his pocket and handed it to Ursula. He did not think it sensible to offer her the creed.
âAlbrecht's ring,' said Ursula. And for a moment, Hew thought he saw a tear form in the corner of her eye.
âWho is Albrecht, ma dame?'
âAlbrecht is my brother,' she replied, her fingers closing tight around the ring.
âJacob took your brother's ring?' asked Hew.
âHe did not take it,' Ursula replied. âMy brother Albrecht is the father of Beatrix, and was a diamond merchant in Antwerp. He gave this ring to Beatrix. And Beatrix gave it to Jacob, on the day that he left Ghent. Jacob would not have removed it.'
âHe did not, ma dame.'
âThen I must believe that what you say is true. This is sad news.'
âMay I ask you, ma dame, how Beatrix came to be here at the beguinage? Since she is your niece?'
âYou may. It is a sad tale, though not, in these times, such an uncommon one. She came as a girl of thirteen. Her father had a shop in Antwerp. When the Spanish soldiers came, and sacked the town, his business was destroyed, and he sent Beatrix here to me, to keep her safe. That was in the winter of 1576,' she sighed, âand followed from the treaty that they call the pacification of Ghent â when we were promised we may worship as we pleased, though little peace we had from it. The diamond ring was all that Beatrix had of Albrecht, to link her to her former life, and all that my poor brother had left to give to her. He died in abject poverty, broken in his heart.'
âThen how,' said Hew, âdid Beatrix meet her husband, Jacob Molenaar?'
âShe met him here,' Ursula acknowledged with a smile, âat the begijnhof. I see that startles you. Yet it is not so strange, though we do not encourage it. Our sisters take no vows that bind them to be brides of Christ; they make no pledge of poverty, that forces them to give up all their wealth, and relinquish diamond rings. And those who can afford to, keep servants in their house, and so they do support and serve the rest. Though for the most part, we live simply, for our needs are not extravagant. And our younger sisters wander daily through the town, to tend the dead and teach in schools and bring nurture to the sick, so they are not cloistered as you may suppose. It is a brave man, nonetheless, who sets his heart and cap against the beguinage, and many of our sisters come here to escape unhappy marriages. And yet it does occur, from time to time, that a man and woman fall in love, and the beguine seeks to leave, and when that happens, of her own free will and choice, then we will not hinder her, but wish her on her way, with God's good love and grace. And so it was with Beatrix and her husband, Jacob. They met here in the beguinage, where Jacob was employed in some simple works of carpentry, in passing on his skills to the sisters in our care.'
âYou teach them woodwork, too?' Hew inquired, amused.
âWe would be self-sufficient in all things,' Ursula said simply, âand sad to say, the Calvinists had done some damage to our church, that we lacked the skills to repair. Since it was never Albrecht's wish to have left his daughter to a lifetime of retreat, we gave her gladly up to Jacob Molenaar.'
âAnd why, then, did he leave her here, and go off to sea?'
âHe left her when his father died; and Jacob Molenaar found out,' Ursula said sadly, âthat he was not the man he thought he was.'
âWhat do you mean?' Hew asked in astonishment. âThat he was
not himself
?'
âIn truth, you might say, he was not himself,' Ursula agreed. For it was when he found out that he was not the man he thought he
was, that Jacob Molenaar changed. He thought that he could have a better life, than the one that he had here in Ghent. And to be fair to him, it was never his intention to have left his wife and child. He always meant to send for them. What did not change was Jacob's love.'
âMa dame,' said Hew, âI do not understand. âWhat brought about this change?'
âAs I think I said to you, Jacob's father died. His father was Clays Hansen, the timmerman.'
âAnd Jacob's name was Molenaar? Then he was not his son?'
âThough he was not his son,' Ursula agreed, âthe name does not signify. A man may take as byname whatever he may choose, for unlike our own given names our surnames are not fixed, and need not pass from father down to son. So if a man be timmerman, whose father is a cook, there need be no connection in their style of name, but one is Jan the timmerman, the son of Jan the cook. Molenaar was what we called him here. It means simply, Jacob the miller, though that did not encompass him; for he was more than that, a skilful engineer. He knew how to work the wind, as well as any man. His father â for, for want of better word we ought to call him that, and Jacob knew no other â Clays Hansen, had been a ship's carpenter, before he settled here as millwright in the town, and it was from him that Jacob learned his art, and earned the name of miller. Clays Hansen had a Scottish wife.'
âHis mother was a Scot!' said Hew.
âHis mother was, beyond a doubt, a Scot,' Ursula said oddly. âThough not Clays Hansen's wife. But setting that aside, Clays Hansen's wife, that Jacob knew as mother, died when Jacob was a child; he had not known her long. She was a woman, I recall, called Ruth â Ruth Adams as I think. Clays Hansen met her at a place called Dondie.'
âI know that place,' said Hew. âIndeed, I did set sail from there.'
âIndeed? Well, he met her there, and married her, and brought her back to live in Ghent, and with them came their little child, and
that was Jacob Molenaar. Though they were old, indeed, to have a little child, and shortly after, Ruth Adams died. Clays Hansen, for his part, lived on for twenty years, and he brought little Jacob up to follow in his trade, and no man could have loved his son as dearly as did he. And then, three months ago, Clays Hansen died. And on his deathbed, he told Jacob Molenaar that he was not his father, but his uncle, for Ruth Adams had been Jacob's aunt. His father was her brother.'
âWho then, was his mother?' wondered Hew.
âClays Hansen did not say. But as Jacob understood, the girl had died in childbirth. And she and Jacob's father were not wed. Since Ruth had a husband, and no child, and her brother had a child, and no wife, the simple thing was for Ruth and her husband to bring back the child to Ghent, and keep him as their own. And Jacob, when he found this out, became persuaded he might find another, and a better, life, for Beatrix and for Lotte, far away from Ghent, where the Spanish were not knocking with their daggers on the door. And he became, in truth, a different sort of man, than the boy who had been son to the timmerman Clays Hansen. And that was sad to see. For I never saw a boy more wanted or more loved, or a prouder father, in the whole of Ghent.'
âWhy have you come?' asked Ursula to Hew. âIt is a long way to come.'
âI brought Beatrix a letter,' Hew replied.
âBut even so,' said Ursula, âit is a long way to come, to bring a letter.'
âI think, perhaps,' said Hew, âthat you should see it. There are questions I must ask, if not of Beatrix, then to you.'
âWhy do men,' sighed Ursula, âalways have to ask so many questions?'
âI do not know, ma dame. But if you read the letter, you will understand.'
She read it silently. âThese are terrible words,' she acknowledged.
âHe writes about a sickness that is known as holy fire,' said Hew. âIt infected the crew of the
Dolfin
, driving them mad.'
âI have heard of it,' said Ursula, âthough I have never witnessed its effects. It is not so holy, as I think.'
âThe provost of our college is a fine physician. It is his belief the sickness stemmed from tainted grain, that was taken on the ship in flour or bread, poisoning the crew.'
âIf that is so,' said Ursula, âit did not come from here. For we have had no sickness in the town. Ghent is the central marketplace for grain, for many miles around.'
âWe think the bread was purchased further north, at Rotterdam, perhaps,' suggested Hew.
âThat is always possible,' Ursula agreed. She looked back at the
letter in her hand. âThis is a dreadful letter, and it will break her heart.'
âI place it in your hands, and trust upon your judgement, whether we should give to her, her dying husband's words. You know her fortitude and strength. And yet I am assured, he wrote the words for her. We have to make her understand, in spite of what he says, that Jacob was not lost. He did not die alone, but in the house of a good woman, who held him in her arms, and laid him to his rest,' said Hew. And for the rest, the questions he must put to her, he thought that that could wait.
âAnd was she a good Christian, this woman?' Ursula asked.
Hew hesitated, âI do well believe, ma dame, that you would think her one,' he answered her at last, âthough she keeps a sailors' tavern, that some call a low place. She is a good-hearted soul and a widow. Her married life was not a happy one.'
âThere are many women here,' said Ursula, âwho have not had happy marriages.'
âShe has a daughter too, who is sore afflicted, wanting wit and grace.' It was a cruel depiction, he reflected guiltily, of the lithesome Lilias, who wanted none of grace, for all she lacked of wit.
But Ursula replied, âWe are all God's children, and afflicted in our way. This woman's part in Jacob's death must bring my niece some comfort, and we must give our thanks to God, that in her care and kindness she was there, and not think to reproach her for the sort of house she keeps. Well,' she folded up the paper with a sigh. âWill you come, mon fils? We can defer no longer. Let the deed be done.'
âI will come, ma mère.'
She led him through the courtyard to the little close of houses built of red and yellow bricks, stopping at the third one from the end. Beatrix sat before the window, where the light fell through the slats onto the pale blue cushion nestled in her lap, and a dozen wooden bobbins spun and turned, bent in concentration as her fingers worked the lace. In the centre of the floor a little child sat
playing pat-a-cake, with an older novice from the beguinage. The girl took up the infant's chubby hands and clapped them, while the infant gazed on stolidly, through solemn, sleepy eyes in rosy-tinted cheeks. Fair threads of flaxen hair escaped the small lace cap, too fine to braid or pin. Beatrix, looking up at last, let out a startled cry. Her hand flew to her mouth. And whether it was Ursula, her sad and sombre countenance, or perhaps the stranger coming in their midst, it seemed she knew at once, without the need for words. The cushion slipped unnoticed from her lap, the bobbins clattered on the floor, and Lotte learned the clapping trick at last, delighted with the bobbins and their scatter of bright beads. Ursula spoke softly to her niece, reverting to the Flemish as she took her in her arms. Presently, she whispered, âwill you wait outside, monsieur? And I will come and find you, when the time is right.'
The novice scooped up Lotte and followed Hew outside. âWhat has happened here, monsieur, to make the mother weep?' she asked him anxiously. He found he could not answer her, for he did not know the words.