All as if she were retarded, or barely spoke the language.
Her so-called new life was turning out to be just as chilly and unsatisfying as the one she
’
d left, with the older people still dumping on the younger ones. Even Luke
—
except she wasn
’
t supposed to call him that, either, or his actual other name, Lucan, the duke who
’
d died protecting King Arthur, even though that
’
s who he was to her.
Look at them sitting around, drinking coffee and tea and beer, and not one person
—
not even Luke
—
saying she should join them. She didn
’
t like the mundane world.
The house was nice enough, with rooms for everybody and an office for Alicia, and a big living room and kitchen and a sort of
“
whatever
”
feeling to where things belonged. Paint peeled on high kitchen cupboards and the dusty rugs, loose nails, creaky risers, threadworn upholstery and unmade beds that would have driven her parents insane relaxed her. Or would have, if it weren
’
t for the people.
“
Read it out loud, whatever it is, would you?
”
Toto said to Luke.
Luke grimaced.
“
Blah, blah, blah, blah
…
okay, here goes.
“‘
The county sheriff
’
s office who have once again resumed digging following the recent storms have discovered a second burial site fifteen feet from the spot where a toddler
’
s remains were recovered last month. At this stage of the investigation, deputies said only that the newly unearthed gravesite
’
s unidentified adult is female and appears to have suffered a fractured skull. However, they could not say whether it was the cause of death. Preliminary testing suggests both bodies have been buried for approximately the same length of time. Police in California and continuous states are checking all open missing-persons records.
…’
“
One with a skull fracture, one a baby, probably buried same length of time,
”
Luke said.
“
Why not come out and say these people were murdered?
”
“
A mother and her baby, is what I think.
”
Kathryn sounded as if her idea were a stroke of genius.
“
Right where we had the tourney.
”
She shivered, as if she
’
d come close to being killed herself.
“
Abducted first, probably,
”
Gary said.
“
Else how
’
d they wind up in that field? There
’
s nothing but cows around there.
”
Alicia pulled the newspaper closer to her and scanned it.
“
A fractured skull. If it happened before she died, wouldn
’
t it show signs of mending? Wouldn
’
t it look different than a new, never-healed split?
”
Toto held an imaginary magnifying glass up to his face and squinted at the paper.
“
I thought CPAs only understood numbers. In a minute, your brilliant deductive powers will reveal the name of the killer who is right here in the kitchen with us!
”
“
Common sense.
”
No one else seemed to mind Alicia
’
s
“
I am so superior
”
voice.
“
Did they question you when you reported the skeleton? Do they suspect you?
”
Kathryn
’
s attention was still on Luke.
“
Yes and no,
”
he said.
“
They asked what I was doing there, where exactly I
’
d been, why I was poking at it
—”
He glanced at Penny then just as quickly looked away from her.
“
And they asked who all of you were, and the others who
’
d been out on the field, but they didn
’
t suspect me. They suspected
us.
They thought the idea of restaging medieval events was seriously weird. I had to explain that twenty thousand members all over the world couldn
’
t all be crazed killer deviants, and that we were a handful out of thousands in the Kingdom of the West alone. He still thought we were crackpots.
”
Alicia nodded in a tired way that suggested a whole lot of people thought they were odd, and told them so.
“
Why would they suspect me?
”
Luke continued.
“
I
’
d have to be insane to point out a crime I
’
d committed years ago. A crime I
’
d gotten away with.
”
“
Probably a drifter,
”
Gary said.
“
They
’
ll never find him.
”
“
Him! Him! Always assuming everything was done by a man,
”
Alicia said, making it clear she wasn
’
t serious.
“
What if it was a woman
—
many women, a girl gang, female muggers? Don
’
t make assumptions.
”
Toto pounded on the table for emphasis.
“
And I say equality for murderers!
”
“
Was it creepy?
”
Kathryn whispered in her nightclub voice. She wrote PR for a man who managed singers and considered herself in showbiz.
“
Finding it, I mean? Those tiny bones and all.
”
Luke looked at Penny as if he was waiting for something, and as if he, too, was annoyed, but why should he be pissed with her? She wasn
’
t doing anything but standing there.
She realized she was clutching the gold chain that held her heart-amulet. Maybe that
’
s what annoyed him
—
her standing there looking like a nun saying her beads. Her bead.
Luke still frowned.
She should never have come to this place, never believed she could change her life, never believed in Luke. But he
’
d encouraged her. It wasn
’
t fair, wasn
’
t fair at all.
“
I mean,
”
Kathryn went on in her sleepy, throaty voice,
“
most people would have left them. The bones, I mean. Not recognized them for what they were. I certainly wouldn
’
t have!
”
Her tiny cute-girl laugh put Penny
’
s teeth on edge.
They didn
’
t want her, didn
’
t count her as a person with a mind and opinions. She was tired of acid scalding her midsection, sick of fighting back tears.
She
’
d show them.
“
I
’
m the one who found the bones,
”
she said. Luke and Kathryn looked startled, and Alicia and Toto craned their necks around to look at her. As if they
’
d absolutely forgotten she was there.
“
If you don
’
t believe me,
”
Penny said, glaring,
“
ask Luke.
”
Gary pursed his lips. Wrong name again, but she didn
’
t care.
“
I
was the one who knew that was the skeleton of a hand. Luke thought the bones were the roots of something. They were very small and brown, you see, from the earth. Not all connected.
”
She pulled out an extra chair and sat down on it and folded her arms over her chest. Now. A little respect.
Having heard this person they treated like a doorstop speak their language made them mute with shock. Even Luke. Especially Luke, who took a deep breath, tilted his chair back, stared at the kitchen ceiling, then righted himself and looked at her again and sighed.
“
What?
”
she finally asked.
“
What did I do?
”
She regretted the question as soon as it was out her mouth
—
it sounded so babyish, so like Wesley.
“
It appears you
’
ve changed your mind. Decided not to keep your involvement a secret anymore,
”
Luke said.
He sounded like he was accusing her of something.
“
My
‘
involvement
’
?
”
Maybe he was using that heavy solemn language as a joke, a setup. Maybe he was finally about to pull her into the group. Her only involvement was him.
“
Given that you
’
ve gone public,
”
he said, waving his hands to the
“
public
”
seated at the table,
“
the logical next step is to go to the police about your necklace.
”
He
’
d spoken in a too-calm voice, as if dealing with a child, a wild beast, or an insane person. When he was around them, he was just like the rest of them. And he acted like he didn
’
t remember who she was and didn
’
t know why she couldn
’
t do what he wanted.
“
You mean the heart?
”
she asked, grasping it with one hand.
He nodded.
“
Now that they
’
ve found another body
—
or what
’
s left of it. A grown-up this time. A woman. A logical person to have owned that heart. Now, I feel like
…
I feel just as much to blame
—
it wasn
’
t all your fault, but we should have said something then.
”
Blame. Fault. Wasn
’
t
all
your fault,
like a big chunk of it
—
of something
—
definitely was. The words spun in her head. She could barely see straight. Everything was wrong and upside down.
“
Why?
”
she asked.
Toto emptied a small bag of corn chips into his hand.
“
That
’
s what you
’
re talking about? That thing on your chain?
”
“
Penny found it near the child
’
s skeleton. The heart, not the chain. We were looking to see if there was more jewelry there when we found the bones,
”
Luke said.
“
Maybe a relative could identify the dead woman by that heart,
”
Alicia said.
“
Or identify the killer.
”
Kathryn
’
s cheeks looked like they
’
d been stained with beet juice. Crime turned her on.
“
Like Alicia said before, what if the murderer was a woman, and she lost that charm in the struggle?
”
“
It isn
’
t yours to keep,
”
Alicia said without a smile.
Penny had released the charm and now stopped her hand from automatically returning to it. Her amulet. Luke hadn
’
t treated her this way before she moved in with him. It was because of the others, and how he wanted to look big to them.
“
You don
’
t know everything,
”
Penny said, clenching both hands at her side.
“
You don
’
t know anything about me.
”
She flashed a hard glance at Luke.
“
It
’
s more complicated than you could possibly know,
”
she said.
Now everybody stared at Penny like she was a convict or contagious.
“
It was there, on the grass,
”
she said.
“
All by itself. It has nothing to do with those bodies. It was a joke, poking around for more. Looking for Drake
’
s treasure. I wish we hadn
’
t, but Luke kept
—”
“
That isn
’
t his name,
”
Alicia said sternly.
“
Not here.
”
Penny shrugged.
“
That
’
s how we found the bones. The heart wasn
’
t attached to anything, just sitting on the grass.
”
“
Yeah, but it was probably near that other body,
”
Toto said.
“
No. Because where we dug was right near the baby,
”
Penny said. Why wasn
’
t Luke helping her?
“
Skeleton,
”
Alicia corrected her.
“
It sounds disgusting to call it a baby.
”
“
All the same,
”
Gary began.
“
Pushed up by the storms, the mud. It probably had migrated. Maybe.
”
“
I need it!
”
It was all she had in the way of hope
—
didn
’
t anybody understand that? It was an amulet, no matter what its real worth. She realized too late, saw by their annoyed expressions that she
’
d shout-screamed her words, her voice loud, high and sharp. Like her mother, like her mother when she was unbearably crazy.
And really, if only they
’
d talk to her directly, act like she had a brain, she could explain. The amulet had been found on the one pure and perfect day in a stormy season when there was magic in a cow pasture, and the found thing, full of meaning, signified possibility instead of a dead end. A new life, a new start.