“Pulled in? What do you mean?”
“If the spell is what I think it is, it works like a magnet. The witch decides who she wants in and who she wants out. The ones she doesn’t want get repelled. The ones she does want get attracted. That’s why you wouldn’t hear any wildlife. The spell repels everything, even bugs and birds.”
“I was able to put The Green around you guys before you went inside.”
“Good. Maybe that will help.”
“Help what?”
“Help us not get killed.”
I reached over and took her hand. “Are you serious?”
“Unfortunately. A magnet spell is not something any witch can just do. It takes an immense amount of power and … well, shit you don’t want to know about.”
“Tell me you weren’t about to say mimickers.”
“I’m not telling you anything about the spell’s components, so don’t ask me that. All the world needs is Jayne Blackthorn playing with magic. Just do me a favor and go. Leave here and go back to the Green Forest. The council will know what to do.”
I sat up and stared down at her. “I’m not going anywhere. That’s exactly what this witch wants. Someone’s been trying to keep me from getting to Biad for some reason that I don’t know, but I’m sure it sucks big donkey dong whatever it is, and I’m not gonna go down like that. And neither are you.” I got on my feet and then pulled her up to stand with me. “Come on. Time for you to go back into the B&B.”
“But what if I lose my memory again?”
“Don’t worry. I’m not going to lose mine. And I’ve got Tim.”
Sam grabbed my hands and pulled me to her, staring into my eyes. “There’s a reason she wanted to block the pixie.”
Fear struck me in the heart like a dagger. “What is it?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he’s dangerous for her. Maybe she just hates pixies, but I’m guessing it’s more than that. You have to figure it out and do it soon. Witches don’t like to keep company around for long, especially not the ones who act as Fates.”
I instantly pictured all my friends in a giant cooking pot over a fire, and my heart dropped into my stomach as Jared’s words came back to me.
Fates do what needs must.
“She’s a fucking Fate?”
Sam nodded her head. “I think she must be.”
I gritted my teeth and took a step toward Sam. “Okay, Sam. I’ll see you later. I won’t leave you guys behind, though, I promise. See what you can do from the inside.” I pushed her on the chest and yelled, “Ass!” but not with the force I normally did. I just didn’t have the heart, knowing I was probably sending her back into hell.
Chapter Nine
I WOKE UP WITH A start to find Tim staring down at me from the back of the headrest. He was sitting with his legs crossed, his wings still flitting in neutral. When he saw my eyes open, he rose up and then gently floated down to hover just in front of my face.
“Talk to me, Goose. What’s the deal? Are they all … dead?” He swallowed loudly. Very dramatically, in fact. I didn’t think it was all for show, either.
I frowned at him. “No, they’re not dead.” His words made a heavy cloak of dread wrap itself around my heart, even though I knew he was kind of joking. I sat up suddenly, causing him to smash into my cheek.
“Hey! Watch it, lady! These wings are fragile!”
I stared out the front windshield from the middle of the back seat. “We need a plan. I talked to Tony and Sam.”
“What’d they say?” Tim went to stand on the dashboard, turning sideways, keeping one eye on the front door and the other on me.
“They were both really out of it when they arrived. Tony was in a trance, telling me to go away, to keep away from the witch. Sam arrived disoriented. She said it was probably a magnet spell. Something that would draw certain fae in and repel everything else, including birds and bugs. And pixies, I guess.”
He nodded. “That explains the silence.”
“But what I don’t get is how Tony came to me warning me away, and then after I slapped him, he didn’t remember anything, including where he was or why he was here.”
“You slapped him? Sweet. Wish I could have seen that.”
“When did you get so violent?”
“I told you, Jayne. I’m a spy pixie. I’ve seen things.”
“Whatever. We can’t leave them in there.”
“Obviously. So what’s the plan?”
“I have no idea. But Sam said that either you’re dangerous to the witch or she’s anti-pixie or whatever, because there’s got to be a reason you were repelled while we were all attracted.”
“Of course she fears the pixie. Who wouldn’t? No one in their right mind, that’s who.”
“Okay, so, fearless scary pixieman, what are you going to do? What do you think this witch doesn’t want you to do?”
He shrugged. “Pixelate her raggedy ass.”
“Maybe you could mess up her spell. Maybe your butt dust is the de-spellinator or whatever.”
He lifted a brow. “You really want me to unleash the beast out here? With no antidote handy?”
I thought about it for a few seconds. “Well … I did put a Green bubble around everyone. Maybe I can take you out of it and make sure none of your dust gets into the bubble?”
He nodded, his eyes narrowed. “That could work. Has anyone ever told you that you’re kind of an evil genius?”
I grinned. “No. But I like it.”
“Okay then, Dr. Evil, let’s do this.” He flew over to the window, his hands pressed up against the glass. “Open the door and let me at ‘em.”
“Wait,” I said, my hand on the button that would open the van up. “Let’s make a more detailed plan.”
He slowly turned. “Jayne, have you been spelled?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Then what’s this nonsense about detailed plans? Where’s my fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants elemental roomie? The take no prisoners chick from Brooklyn?”
“I’m not from Brooklyn.”
“I know, but saying you’re from West Palm Beach doesn’t have the same ring, does it?”
“I guess not.” I was still waiting to see where he was going with this.
“So let’s just go. Talk to The Green, tell it to protect our friends from the dust of death and let me go to work.” He was rubbing his hands together like some kind of maniac.
“Now who’s channeling Dr. Evil? Just relax, would you? We have to get this right. If we fuck it up, I’m going to piss off the dragon and then she’ll probably let all the orcs free, and one of them will decide to try and impregnate me to make that king of the underworld baby or whatever.” The memory of the Torrie demon sharing that little bit of loveliness with me will never totally go away, I was convinced of that.
“All right, but hurry up. You have no idea what she’s doing in there right now.”
I nodded. “Okay, so what’s the plan?”
“You’re asking me? You’re the plan maker! I’m the attack pixie!” He turned to the glass again. “Just open this up and let me fly, Jayne. Set me free.”
I knew a cabin-fevered pixie when I saw one. “Okay, fine. I’m removing you from the bubble, though, so be careful. And wait until I say go before you start spraying any of that buttdust.”
He sighed heavily. “It’s body dust, Jayne.
Body
dust. Not buttdust. You do not want to see the dust that comes from my butt.”
I started giggling just imagining it.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
I closed my eyes. “Just one second.” I tapped into The Green, locating its pulsing light all around me. I was still inside the bubble I had created earlier, but its presence was gossamer, barely there.
Okay, Green bubble of awesomeness … I need you to take the pixie out of the mix and let him fly free of your protection. And my other fae friends need you more than ever, so let’s ramp this up a notch … or eight notches. Let’s do eight.
I pictured the green light around my friends growing brighter, thicker, and stronger. I imagined Tim breaking free and his dust flying out in the air behind him.
Keep that pixie dust from touching anyone inside the bubble. No pixie dust for anyone. Neutralize it, block it, tamp it down, send it out into the ether. Do whatever is necessary to keep my friends or me from being pixelated.
Since my communication with The Green depended on me being able to picture something and not just say it in my head, I then imagined the dust hitting the bad guys and making them sing and dance, and then showed the dust bouncing off the bubble and everyone inside it remaining very sober. I prayed The Green would understand me; now was not the time for me or any of our friends to dance ourselves to death. I’d save that kind of merrymaking for after I spent a week or two with the dragon and was safely home in the Green Forest again.
I opened my eyes. “Okay, it’s done. You’re out of the bubble.” I pushed the door open and slid out onto the ground. “Be careful, Tim. I don’t want to have to go back to the Green Forest and tell Abby that you were killed in the line of duty.”
“Never fear, Tim is here,” he said. “And I’m pretty hard to kill if you hadn’t noticed.” He flew off toward the front porch and I walked quickly after him.
Chapter Ten
IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO FULLY APPRECIATE a pixie splat until you’ve seen one in person. I’d stood witness to one before but not one with this degree of awesomeness. Tim was zooming out toward his prey one second, and the next, he was flattened like a bug on the windshield of a car going fifty miles an hour. I swear, when he slid down the spell’s barrier, I could hear the squeaking sound of his skin against its smooth surface.
I ran over and picked him up off the ground, holding him up in front of my face. He was dangling by the back of his tunic, the one part of it that rested between his wings. I was trying not to laugh but wasn’t succeeding very well. “Holy shit, Tim, are you okay? Talk about an epic face plant.”
His eyes were closed and one wing was slightly bent, but he still managed to speak. “Holy chowder buckets, what did you have for dinner? Anchovies?”
I shook him a little and breathed out extra hard as I spoke. “Nooo. Doritoooes. Spiiiike fooound ‘em at the reh-heh-hest stop.”
He opened his eyes and tried to fly out of my grasp, but his one wing was too messed up. He stopped his escape to run his hands over it a little, straightening it out. A small kink remained, but I was pretty sure it was the one from before. When he was done, he hung down, arms and legs dangling toward the ground, his head tilted up to look at me.
“What now?” I asked.
“What do you mean, what now? I’m just getting started.”
“Oh. So you did that on purpose, is that it?” I bit my lip to keep from laughing.
“Yes, as a matter of fact, I did. Had to figure out if the spell was still in place, didn’t I? Wasn’t vulnerable to a speed entry?”
“If you say so.”
He lifted off from my hand and stared at me, hands on his hips. “Listen, elemental, you need to just step back and observe the master at work. No castle gets breached on the first try. Look it up in the history books if you don’t believe me.”
I looked over at the house and then back at him. “Castle?”
“Step back and observe, grasshopper. Watch me bring this witch to her knobby, misshapen knees.”
“Okaaay,” I said, taking a few steps toward the van. “Go on and do your nasty thing, spy master Tim.”
“Hey!” he whisper-yelled at me. “I told you that information was top secret! What are you doing talking about it out here?”
“Oops. Sorry.” Like anyone out here gave a flying pixie poop about Tim’s supposed spy career. But I gestured for him to continue anyway, because we didn’t have time to debate his status as Double-Oh Dumbass right then.
He waved me back. “Okay, so maybe take another few steps. I’m going to unleash.”
I did as he asked, not because I was worried about the buttdust but more because I was concerned about getting him so worked up that he’d stop cooperating. Tim being my last hope was stressful enough.
Tim put his arms and legs out wide. “First, I must remove my dragonfly charm.” He spun up straight, counter-clockwise, until he was just a blur. After a few seconds, his rotations slowed and he slowly drifted down. I saw absolutely no difference in his outward appearance, but I’d already witnessed once before how that charm worked on humans, and it was the real deal. “And now, for the dusting.” He started jiving around and throwing his arms and legs all over the place. Soon enough, bits of sparkly things started shedding off his body.
“Ooooh, preeeettttyyy,” I said, not entirely messing around. His sparkles came in all the colors of the rainbow. I wished I could tell him how gay he looked right then, but I didn’t want to distract him from his mission.
He flew toward the barrier, covered in the stuff. As he got closer, his flight path became more tentative. He no longer flew straight but zigzagged and had his hands out, like he was about to do his mime act again. I held my breath as he got closer and closer to the spot where he’d done his face plant earlier. When his hands and then his head went through and continued on, I let my breath out in a big
whoosh
. Where before he was blocked, he now found free space.
“Yeah, eat my dust, witch,” he said, very pleased with himself as he passed through and flew to the front door, no longer acting hesitant or mime-like.
“Hell to the yeah,” I said, jogging over to join him. “Pixie dust kills Hotel California spells. I like it.” I ran up the steps and stopped at the front door, nearly breathless. It had to be the adrenaline coursing through my veins making it hard for me to breathe because normally I could run a damn marathon with all the training I’d done. “Now what?” I asked, wiping the sweat off my upper lip with the back of my hand.
“Now you get your demon dagger boner going on and we storm the castle.”
The fervor I heard in Tim’s voice and the mania I saw in his eyes worried me a little. “You mean the B&B.”
“Yeah, right, whatever.” He grabbed his tiny dagger from his hip and held it out toward the door. Bonersville,
go
!”
I shook my head as I drew my jeweled weapon from the hilt at my waist. “Okay, if you say so. Just be careful.” I pictured the ogre inside and the creepy witch who was probably going to try and whack me with her cane again and my dagger slowly grew and turned into a full-length sword. Whether I’d actually be able to take the step of slicing and dicing the old bag with it was another deal altogether, but I wasn’t going to worry about that now. With this particular sword it was often just enough to flash it around, and fae started toeing the line. It had a particularly mean cut that was almost impossible to heal and everyone knew it. Its dark silver surface shone, somehow picking up light from the pixie dust and the stars.