Time Untime (18 page)

Kateri ducked instinctively. But it was just an illusion. No part of it was real.

None.

Except for the man who slept beside her. Her hand trembling, she brushed the hair back from his battered face. So he really was the Makah’Alay she’d seen in her visions and dreams. How weird to know him so well and yet not know him at all. To have someone from her dreams here in the flesh …

Makah’Alay.

That was also the name of a demon her grandmother had told her about when she was a little girl.
He is evil to the core of his soul. Those who see him, die by his hand. Always. He takes pity on none and can control the raven mockers. Fear him, Waleli. Pray you never meet him. And if you do, run with everything you have.

Could he be the same creature her grandmother had warned her about?

Swallowing hard, she ran her hand over his sculpted jaw where only a few whiskers were there to tease her skin. Asleep like this, he looked more boyish than threatening. More human. But awake, he could be terrifying and overwhelming.

And with that thought came another image of him with both eyes so red, they glowed. He stood with his legs apart and body tensed as if about to battle an unseen enemy.

“What did you do to make them all fear you so?”
Why
had he done it?

Kateri sighed as she tried to sort through information that came at her so fast, she felt like she was in the middle of cramming for finals. If she learned one more thing, her brain was going to shut down in revolt and leave her a drooling vegetable on the floor.

Needing a minute to clear her head, she stretched out by Ren’s side. But it wasn’t comfortable. The hard, earthen floor was cold and gritty. In fact, it said it all about how much he needed sleep that he could be out so soundly on something so miserable.

Ugh, this is not going to work.
She tried everything she could think of, twisted into every position. She put her arm under her head, then took it out.

Useless.

Until she slid her gaze to Ren’s lush body. Yeah,
that
was the only thing in this dismal place that looked appealing. Desirable …

Inviting.

Don’t do it. He’s bleeding.

True, but there were areas of his body that weren’t blood-soaked. Areas that were …

Comfy-looking. Before she could stop herself, she rolled him over, onto his back, then scooted closer so that she could use him for a pillow.

Oh yeah
, much
better
.

And in the next second, she took a deep breath, then was out cold.

*   *   *

Ren came awake slowly. His body was still aching. Damn it. He felt like someone had beat the hell out of him, which they had. Literally. Or more appropriately, he’d beat the hell out of the demon.

I should have beat the bastard harder.…

Wincing from the pain of his ribs and back, he opened his eyes, then froze at the last thing he expected to see.

Kateri was snuggled up against him with her head on his shoulder. Her left hand rested in the center of his chest while her breath tickled the flesh of his neck.

His body hardened so fast and furiously that he sucked his breath in sharply. Against his best efforts, an image of her naked and writhing, and in his arms, went through him. He could just imagine her running her hands over his back while he made love to her.

That did nothing to help his discomfort.

Or his mood.

He tried to think of something unpleasant. His father. His brother. Grizzly …

Smelly socks.

Nothing worked. Not while he could feel her on top of him like a familiar lover who was completely at ease with his company. Biting his lip, he pressed his hand against his swollen groin, trying to force his will on the treacherous beast that couldn’t listen to him. Or if it did, then it was definitely mocking and ignoring his wishes right now.

I should have gelded myself after Windseer left.

True. It wasn’t like he’d ever needed it. It’d only gotten him into trouble and it reminded him of just how alone he really was in this world.

How different he was from other men.

All of a sudden, Kateri stretched like a languid cat, arching her back and pressing her body closer to his. Something that also gave him a perfect view down the neckline of her shirt, straight to her purple lace bra and a set of tawny breasts that made his mouth water for a taste.

He clenched his hand into a fist to keep from obliging himself with a grope he was sure would get him bitch-slapped. And justifiably so.

With a contented sigh, she slid her hand over his chest, brushing against his nipple.

Ren moaned deep in his throat as tortured pleasure erupted through his entire being. Oh yeah, he was dying now. This … this
was
hell.

At the sound of his hiss, Kateri opened her eyes instantly and met his gaze with a startled gasp. “Oh, hey.” She relaxed into a sweet, welcoming smile. “Morning, Sunshine. Ready to take on the day?”

Gah, she was a morning person.…
Kill me.
How could anyone wake up in such a pleasant mood? He’d never understood that disposition.

Not that it mattered. Right now, he couldn’t respond had he wanted to. Not while his body was so aroused.

“Are you feeling better?” she asked in that chipper voice that hadn’t been annoying yesterday when it hadn’t been so early.

And the answer was simple. Hell, no. But that wasn’t what she was referring to and he knew it.

There’s no need in being an asshole to her. Not her fault you’re horny.

Yeah, well, bullshit on that. He wouldn’t be in this condition without her.
She
was definitely the reason for his raging hard-on. However, it wasn’t her fault she felt really good in his arms or that she was unbelievably sexy with her hair tousled around her face, her cheeks flushed from sleep.

So he gave her a grudging, “Yes.”

She flashed him an adorable grin that made his cock jerk in response.

Down, boy. No need in making us both miserable. You’re not going anywhere so you might as well deflate and save us our dignity.

She stretched again. “By the way, did you know you talk in your sleep?”

He arched a brow at that. Since he’d never spent the night with another person, he’d had no idea of it.
Please tell me I didn’t stutter there, too.
That was all he needed.

“So who’s Windseer?”

Oh wait … it just got worse. But at least that question finally succeeded in icing his hormones. It slapped him down faster than an arctic bath. How horrifying to talk about that bitch in his sleep to the Ixkib.

I’d rather stutter.…

“She’s no one.”

Kateri gave him a doubting stare. “It didn’t sound like no one. You called out to her like you wanted her badly. Is she an old girlfriend?”

Great. What the hell was wrong with his subconscious? Why would any part of him want Windseer for anything except to slaughter the bitch where she stood?

Your unconscious is even dumber than you are.
And that was an accomplishment, given his average daily stupidity.

Grinding his teeth in anger at himself, Ren curled his lip. “She’s nothing to me. I don’t want to think about her.”

Kateri sucked her breath in at the hatred in his tone. Obviously, Windseer had hurt him.

Badly.

She detested the fact that she’d inadvertently kicked him by mentioning the woman’s name. “Sorry. Duly noted and now permanently removed from my vocabulary.” As was anything that had “wind” attached to it and that included her own middle name, Wynd. No need in making him this upset ever again. She’d had her inherent share of bad relationships she didn’t want to revisit. So she fully understood his need not to go to the past. It was an ugly place sometimes.

And people could be total jerks when they wanted to.

She started to move away, but he caught her in an iron grasp that startled her even more than his tone had. To her shock, he kept her by his side.

His gaze searched hers as if he sought something he’d lost. “Why are you on top of me?”

Heat scalded her cheeks as she realized just how intimate they were in this position. “You were comfy. The floor wasn’t.… And I was cold so I figured you were too.” She bit her lip as that heat lit her entire body up and she realized that her excuse wasn’t really viable. “I was trying to conserve body heat for both of us.”

Yeah, it sounded phony to her too.

His breathing ragged, he brushed his hands through her tangled hair. The desire in his eyes set her own heart to pounding. Gracious, he was hot and unsettling. Or rather her body’s reaction to him was unsettling. She never responded to a man like this.

But there was something about him that was irresistible. Something that called out to her against all sanity and rationale. Right now, all she wanted to do was nip that chin and explore every inch of his hard body.

“What have you done to me?” he breathed.

She frowned at his agonized tone. “Nothing.”

He shook his head. “I’ve never had trouble as an immortal remaining celibate. But all I can think about is being inside you.”

She should be offended by that. Instead, those words made her heart race even faster. It was nice to know she wasn’t the only one having issues with their close proximity. It would really stink if she was.

And those words made her twice as curious. “You’ve been celibate? How long?”

“Eleven thousand years.”

Kateri choked on his answer.
Holy …

Was he serious?

She’d expected him to say a few months … tops. Given the way he looked and the way he moved, she wouldn’t have been surprised had he said a few hours.

But centuries? Really? Thousands upon thousands of years?

No …

Who could do that? How could
he
do that in
that
body? As gorgeous as he was, women had to be throwing themselves all over him. All the time. What did he do? Beat them off with a whip?

Her look turned chiding. “Well, honey, that’s probably your problem. Been a little long between uh … well … you know—and I know you do. I admire your fortitude. I do. A lot. Not many people could do what you’ve done, and it explains a lot about why you’re not a happier person.”

He snorted at her attempted humor. “Don’t be impressed. The last time I slept with a woman, I damn near destroyed the world because of it. When you do something
that
record-breakingly stupid, it tends to stay with you awhile.”

Yeah, but thousands and thousands of years?

That, right there, told her exactly who and what Windseer was to him. She must have been the one who had led him astray and burned him to a level so foul that he had never gotten over it. “Out of curiosity, why would you have tried to destroy the world?”

“Ever attempted to hunt down a parking space at Christmas? Buy a shirt in a store the day after Thanksgiving? Those two things alone will make you doubt the humanity of humans, and question if survival of the species is in anyone’s best interest. What are we fighting for, anyway? Better department store sales?”

He did have a point.

Still …

Ren hesitated before he continued with his sarcasm. A part of him wanted to lie to her, and keep the topic light. Not because he didn’t trust her, but because he didn’t want to face the truth himself. The why was what burned the worst in his memory and heart. What cut him the deepest.

If there had ever been a Dumbass of the Day Award, he’d be in the Hall of Fame for it.

But before he could catch his tongue, it betrayed him. “Honestly? I did it to prove to her that I was a man and not a spineless piece of shit.”

“Did it work?”

He shrugged. “I never saw her again, so I guess in her eyes it was futile. But I got my point across to all the others who thought I was weak. Nothing like a good ass-kicking to put fear into others.” But that wasn’t the same as respect. He’d gone from being a pathetic milksop to a homicidal psycho, and learned that the only things that changed were the names they called him and the tone and volume level they used when they did so.

Neither position was desirable or enviable. Both left you isolated, lost, alone, and insecure. No one to trust.

No one who gave a shit about you. The only real difference was that when they thought you weak they didn’t try to kill you when your back was turned.

Sighing, he released her, then rolled over and rose to his feet. She got up and dusted herself off.

When he started to walk away from her, she put her hand on his arm to stop him.

“For the record? You’re not a pathetic wretch, Ren, and you don’t have to end the world to prove it.”

He snorted at her naiveté, but a part of him he didn’t want to acknowledge took flight over her kindness—even if it was feigned. “I have the blood of three competing pantheons, two of which are born warring, flowing through my veins. Since the hour of my birth, I’ve been at war with myself. You want to know why I stutter?”

“Why?”

“I was suckled for a year by a demon. Her milk infected me with her venom and it was her language I learned first. It’s so radically different from anything human that I was five before I could even begin to comprehend our speech patterns. By that time, they all thought I was slow and stupid because of it. Then when I finally learned how to make their sounds, I stuttered with them because I have to translate from demonspeak to human. It’s taken me a million lifetimes to speak without hesitation. And still whenever I think or dream it’s never as a human.” His gaze burned her. “Because of what Artemis sent to care for me, I became a conduit of evil.
That
is my true nature.”

She shook her head. “I don’t believe you. If you were truly evil, you wouldn’t fight that nature. You’d go with it and let it swallow you whole. Yet you don’t. You came for me when you didn’t even know me, and rescued me. You have fought for strangers for centuries. How is any of that evil?”

“I killed my own father while he begged me for mercy.”