Read To Have and to Hold Online
Authors: Laura Dower
I
T WAS ALMOST FIVE
-thirty by the time Madison, Dad, and Stephanie got into the car and headed over for the “family-only” dinner at Wolfe Ranch.
Dad finally got a callback from Sky High Airlines at the Houston airport. The attendant there said that Madison’s missing suitcase had been located. Unfortunately, it was somewhere in Wisconsin, but they were sure it would make a safe landing in Texas
eventually.
Madison tried not to think about her luggage falling out of a plane and landing on some poor cow in a field in the middle of nowhere or just lying around some deserted airport.
The drive to the Wolfe house meandered through downtown Bellville, past galleries and shops and at least five different saloons. Stephanie gave a guided tour, pointing to landmarks as they passed. Just outside town, Madison saw her first real cowboy, a man in a Stetson hat riding a beautiful, chestnut-colored horse. Stephanie waved to him. Apparently, he was an old friend.
“Who’s that again?” Dad asked.
“My cousin Tony, remember? you met him once,” Stephanie said. “He’ll be at the wedding for sure!”
Dad wrinkled his eyebrows at her remark. Madison wondered just how many people were in the final wedding count by now, this close to the big event. Would Tony or any other cowboys be riding horses to the ceremony?
That would be cooler than cool.
They drove past more office buildings, several enormous gas stations and shopping marts, and some new housing developments. The homes were all of the same color and construction. There were some complexes with names like Vaqueros Village (Madison learned that
vaqueros
meant “cowboys” in Spanish). There were few trees.
“There’s been a real boom around here,” Stephanie said. “A lot of folks have discovered this area lately. Nothing like when I was a little girl. Used to be quiet around these parts.”
“How far is your family ranch?” Madison asked from the backseat.
“About five miles. Pretty close,” Stephanie replied.
“Wait until you see this place,” Dad said, turning his head to see Madison. “It’s like a dude ranch from some movie.”
Madison felt the butterflies acting up in her tummy once more. Even though Dad was right there, close by her in the front seat, Madison felt alone. She wished Fiona or Aimee were there to crack jokes about meeting dudes at the dude ranch or horsing around with horses or something equally silly. Although she knew she was one hundred percent welcome there in Texas, Madison was having pangs of outsider angst that only got worse as the ranch began to come into view. She wished more of Dad’s family would be attending—if only Dad had had more family
to
attend. Right now, Madison was becoming painfully aware again of the fact that she had few aunts, uncles, or cousins on her dad’s side.
The gates of Wolfe Ranch had a large sign posted with the ranch’s name on it in English and Spanish, alongside a pair of giant horseshoes. That was the ranch’s theme, if there was one—horseshoes on every gate and post.
“My parents have always believed horseshoes are lucky charms,” Stephanie explained.
Madison gazed at the rows and rows of trees that lined the driveway up to the main house. The tree branches looked like the craggy arms and legs of the trees that came alive in the forest in
The Wizard of Oz.
Madison felt her imagination working overtime.
After a short ride, they drove around a bend, and the main house came fully into view.
“Wow,” Madison said, catching her breath. “It
is
huge.”
Not only was the main house enormous, but Madison noticed about six other buildings nearby, a stable across the way, cars parked everywhere, numerous people rushing all around, and at least seven dogs running around free.
“I wish Phinnie were here,” Madison mused.
“Yeah,” Stephanie said. “He’d love roaming around here. My parents’ dogs would show him a real good time.”
After parking the car, Stephanie threw her arms around an older man who came to help carry the bags. Madison guessed correctly that the man was Stephanie’s father, Wally.
“Are you Maddie?” the man asked, extending his arms for a hug from Madison.
Madison nodded and gave him a hug. His soft beard smelled like cedar and cigars.
“Hello,” Madison said. “Nice to meet you.”
“Looks like you’ve got a lot of guests here, Wally,” Dad said, shaking his hand.
“Indeed. The troops have arrived,” Mr. Wolfe replied. “Steph, your mother has gone all out for this one, let me tell you. Bigger than any of your sisters weddings, and she pulled it off in only two weeks. Astounding woman, that one.”
Stephanie laughed, but Madison noticed that Dad didn’t seem to find it as funny. His eyes searched the property, taking in the scene of organized chaos.
“The family is in the courtyard,” Mr. Wolfe said. “Shall we go see ’em?”
Madison followed Stephanie, Mr. Wolfe, and Dad inside through a set of nicely carved wooden doors. She expected to find maybe five or even ten people mingling around a table set with corn chips and salsa (a Texas-style snack). Instead, Madison saw at least forty people crammed together drinking frozen fruit drinks and talking at the tops of their lungs. When Stephanie appeared with Dad, the entire courtyard burst into a round of applause.
It was like being at one of Drew’s pool parties—only bigger and even more extravagant.
“Here comes the bride!” a voice sang out.
A round, plump woman wearing sequins toddled over and grabbed Stephanie’s waist.
Sequins
?
Madison looked down at her shorts. She was definitely not dressed properly.
“Hello, Mother,” Stephanie said. “They made it in one piece, just like you said.”
“Welcome home!” Mrs. Wolfe said. “Jeff, I have to tell you that when we learned the plane was late, Steph almost fainted. I think she’s a little nervous. What d’you think?”
“I think you look ravishing tonight,” Dad said, leaning over to give Mrs. Wolfe a big kiss. She let out a holler.
“And
you
must be Maddie! As pretty as your pictures,” Mrs. Wolfe said, directing her attention to Madison.
All at once, Madison felt herself wanting to cling to Dad’s leg as she probably had when she was two or three years old.
“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Wolfe,” Madison said.
“Call me Diane, please!” Mrs. Wolfe barked.
Mrs. Wolfe grabbed Madison right around her middle and squeezed. Madison could feel the sequins sticking to the exposed areas of her skin. “You look good enough to eat!” she told Madison.
“Thanks,” Madison said, imagining herself as dinner’s main course, Tacos Madison with Not-So-Hot Sauce.
“Ma, why don’t we sit down?” Stephanie suggested.
“Nonsense!” Mrs. Wolfe said. “You have
guests
!”
Madison saw Stephanie grab Dad’s hand; they pulled themselves toward each other like magnets.
People started to flood over and bid their good wishes to Stephanie, Dad, and even Madison, who stood back and tried to take the scene in without being overwhelmed by it.
“I’d like you to meet cousin Jayne…. Uncle Wayne … Aunt Miranda … Uncle Fred … Cousin Billy-Carl …”
Madison’s head whirled. There was no way she could remember all of those people. She smiled politely as each one was introduced.
“This is Steph’s new daughter-to-be!” Mrs. Wolfe said, pointing to Madison. “She’ll be doing the big reading at the wedding!”
Madison hated it when adults talked about her as if she weren’t even in the room. It made her want to run away.
But she stayed put. Instead of making a mad dash, Madison popped a miniature-corn appetizer into her mouth and kept smiling.
Dinner was casual, just as the wedding itinerary had promised. Hot and cold items were displayed on wide, plank tables decorated with lanterns, maracas, and an ice sculpture in the shape of a giant cactus. Madison said “thank you” and “please” and worked her way around the food table. She noticed a few kids her age who came in looking for stuff to eat, and guessed that they’d all been hanging out somewhere else together.
One kid in particular caught Madison’s eye.
Or, rather, she caught
his
eye.
The boy looked right at Madison from across the food table and said, “Hey!” as if he were a cowboy or something.
“Hey,” Madison giggled. She couldn’t help herself.
The boy grabbed a handful of tortilla chips and walked away without saying another word. His friends (or were they all cousins?) left the room with him.
Madison bit into a sweet pickle and cursed her traveling shorts that by now had a little spot on one of the cuffs. She was sure that her outfit had been the key factor in driving the boy away. The room closed in on her, hotter by the minute, even though both the air-conditioning and the fans were going. People melted together in a weird combination of heat and noise and color.
Madison sat down in a leather chair and sipped a cup of cream soda. It wasn’t as good as root beer, but it would have to do.
“Maddie?” Dad said, bending down to check on her. “Are you okay?”
Madison nodded as if to say, “Sure, I’m fine,” but her words came out a different way.
“I don’t know anyone, Dad,” Madison said softly. “Who
are
all these people?”
Dad smiled and crouched down closer to Madison. “They’re Stephanie’s family,” he explained. “And I know it’s overwhelming. It was—it
is
—for me, too. They seem to travel in packs, like …”
“Wolfes,” Madison said, cracking the bad joke before Dad could.
Dad smiled. “Exactly,” he said. “Have you met any of Stephanie’s nieces or nephews?”
Madison shook her head silently, without mentioning the boy who had caught her eye.
Stephanie rushed over. “Jeff! Come over here! You have to meet Ed, my dad’s old business partner. He’s like my second daddy, really.”
“I was just sitting with Madison for a minute,” Dad said.
Stephanie pasted on a pout. “Aw, sweetie, come for just a minute, won’t you? He’s dying to meet you. Maddie will be okay on her own for a minute, won’t you?”
Madison sank into the chair a little. She could feel Dad pulling away.
“Will you be okay, Maddie?” he asked.
Madison felt her palms sweating. The room was getting even hotter, if that were possible. Because she was sitting and everyone around her was standing, Madison felt as if she had been shrinking into the furniture.
“No, Steph,” Dad said all of a sudden. “Maddie isn’t feeling well. I’ll meet Ed later. He’ll understand.”
Stephanie didn’t say anything at first. Madison had never really known Dad to tell her no before that.
“Okay,” Stephanie finally said. “We’ll meet him later, then.”
She rubbed her hands together, smiled, and turned back to the party with a flourish.
“I’m sorry, Dad,” Madison said after Stephanie had walked away.
“No, I’m sorry,” Dad said. He reached up and felt Madison’s forehead. “You’re warm, honey bear,” he said. “Maybe you can go and lie down?”
Madison shrugged. She didn’t want to lie down in some strange room. She remembered having done that a couple of years back at a party with Mom and Dad. She had ended up asleep on someone’s guest bed. She had awakened in the dark to find herself alone with a pile of woolen coats.
“I’ll be fine,” Madison said.
Dad cocked his head. “Are you
sure
?” he asked again.
Madison took a deep breath. “I just didn’t expect such a big wedding party,” she said. “And my suitcase got lost…. and we’re so far from Far Hills….”
“I understand,” Dad said.
“Dad, I thought you said—you
promised
—this would be fun. You said it wouldn’t be that many people. If there are this many people here tonight, what’s tomorrow’s dinner going to be like?” Madison asked.
“I know,” Dad said. “It’s a lot.”
Madison felt her eyes well up with tears. “It is,” she said, her voice quivering a little bit.
Dad gave her a hug. “It is for me, too,” he said.
“Really?” Madison sniffled.
“This is really for Stephanie,” Dad said. “It’s her first wedding. It’s a bigger deal for her. And her mother … well, you met Diane.”
“Yeah,” Madison said.
“She just likes things to be a certain way—her way—but that’s okay. It’s only for one weekend, right?” Dad said.
“I thought I was going to suffocate when she hugged me,” Madison said.
Dad laughed.
“I mean it, Dad,” Madison said, whispering so that no one else at the party would hear. “She’s not normal.”
“Maddie,” Dad said. “Everyone’s a little abnormal right now. You have to understand that. Stephanie, me, Diane, even you.”
Madison swallowed hard. What was Dad talking about? How was Madison
abnormal
? Why was Dad getting his serious voice on? Didn’t he know she needed him just to give her a hug and take her away from the party—now?
“I know this is a big weekend,” Dad continued. “In more ways than one. And all these people can’t help make it any easier or more comfortable. But even if I seem distracted, or Stephanie seems busy, we’re here for you.”
“Whatever,” Madison said.
“Now, don’t be that way,” Dad said. “I hate it when you do that.”
“What?” Madison said.
“I need you to try to behave, okay?” Dad pleaded. Madison felt as if he were talking to her the way he had when she was little.
“Behave?” Madison repeated. She was getting all choked up again.
“You know what I mean,” Dad said, trying to soften his words. He kissed Madison on the forehead.
“I know,” Madison said.
“I really want you to meet Stephanie’s sisters. I know they’re here somewhere….” Dad scanned the crowd. “They’re running the show, so I bet they are both in the back with Catering….”
Madison rolled her eyes.
Dad knew what was wrong.
“I just need to mingle with a few more people. You sit here. Then we can head back to the hotel,” he said. “I promise.”
Madison wondered how Dad would ever be able to leave his own party. Was this just another promise that was made to be broken?
She stood up from the leather chair. “I’m coming with you,” Madison said.