To Love and Protect (18 page)

“I must look horrible.”

“You look wonderful.”

“I feel like a wanton.”

“No, never that.”

“Are you certain I look presentable?”

“Positive.
 
We didn’t finish,” he motioned vaguely.

“And we never should have started.
 
I don’t know what came over me.
 
It must be the stress of the last few days.”

“Clarissa,” he began, only to be cut off by her next words.

“No, this should not have happened.
 
Papa and I are guests in your parents’ home.
 
What was I thinking?”

Knock, knock, knock.
 
“Come on, you two, we are starving.”
 

“Once her stomach is involved, she can not be led astray.
 
You go on, and I will join you all in a few minutes.”

“Won’t your sister wonder where you are?”

“I am sure she will, but she has always been inquisitive.
 
Just ignore her questions and change the subject.”

“All right,” she said and exited the room.
 
She heard the door close softly behind her.
 
Clarissa gave it a questioning look before Megan peeked out of a doorway down the hall.

“Lady Hamilton, down here,” she waved at her.
 
Was that a look of suspicion that crossed the young woman’s face?
 
Did she know what she had been doing behind that closed door with her brother?
 
Clarissa attempted to erase the look of guilt that she knew must be on her face.
 
Clarissa smiled at the joyful young woman before walking to her and joining his family.
 
“Where is that brother of mine?” Megan questioned, as she threaded her arm through Clarissa’s.

“I…he…um…”
 

“I had a letter to finish,” Justin answered as he entered the hallway.
 
“Meggy, I dearly hope that Clarissa will rub off on you.
 
Do you realize that you are older than she is, yet she appears to be the older of the two of you?”

“Truly?” Meggy stopped, somewhat dumbfounded.
 

“If you are ever going to turn Liam’s head, perhaps you should pay more attention to how Lady Hamilton carries herself and behaves,” Maureen added for good measure.
 

“I would rather not speak of Liam at this time,” Justin said.
 

“What happened between the two of you,” his mother questioned, not for the first time.
 

“Nothing for you to be concerned with,” he said and looked to his father.
 
Clarissa hoped they were all focused on Megan, poor dear, and not her, for she could still feel the blush that covered her body.
   

“Everyone find a seat, I’m starving,” Edward announced, breaking the tension in the room.

***

Clarissa found dinner with Justin’s family to be pleasant and anything but dull.
 
His mother asked her about Gertie and the goings on in London while Justin and his father talked quietly between themselves.
 
Megan, after her initial silence, seemed quite content to flit back and forth between the conversations when it suited her to join one and leave the other.

A footman placed a dessert of layered sponge cake, custard, fruit and cream in front of Clarissa.
 
She took a hesitant bite and found herself enjoying it more than she thought.
 
“This is delicious.”

“It is called the
Tipsy Laird
and is one of my favorites,” Megan answered.

“
Tipsy
what?” Clarissa asked, sure she had not heard correctly when a ruckus sounded at the front door.

“Gram and Gramp’s are here,” Megan shouted gleefully and jumped up from the table as if she were a five year old instead of twenty.

“Clarissa,” Maureen said, having been told over the course of the meal to call her by her Christian name and vice versa, “you must spend some time with my daughter.
 
I fear I let her be too wild growing up.
 
Now, come along and meet my parents,” the countess invited courteously even though Clarissa could see the same gleam in her eye that had lit her daughter’s moments earlier.

The countess had already exited the room when Justin came up behind Clarissa and pulled her chair out.
 
“Come, I promise they won’t bite.”
 
She gave him a shy smile and followed the rest of the family out of the room.
 
A huge, burly man with bushy red hair had the countess lifted in his arms in a hug that would surely crush the woman.

“How’s me baby girl?”
 
Clarissa could barely make out his words his brogue was so thick.

“Oh, Da’, you must quit lifting me every time you see me.”

“I’ll be in the ground before I do that.”

“Mamma, I’ve missed you.”

“Child you just saw us last month,” but the mother still hugged the daughter warmly.
 
“I’ve missed ye, too,” Clarissa heard her whisper softly in her daughter’s ear.
 
“Now, where’s my patient?” she asked clearing her throat and straightening.

“Upstairs,” the countess said leading the way upstairs.
 
“Mamma, this is Clarissa Blackerby.
 
Clarissa, my mother, Matilda.
 
Mamma, it is Clarissa’s father, the Duke of Hamilton, that is ill.
 
She will be able to tell you more about his condition.”

The three women went upstairs to the room where the duke lay.
 
The countess dismissed the maid that had been assigned to sit with him after she gave an update of his condition.

Matilda checked the duke and asked Clarissa to explain what had happened.
 
“He was kidnapped.
 
We aren’t really sure what happened to him in the meantime.
 
I’m fairly certain that they gave him something to keep him unconscious, perhaps even some type of poison.
 
The woman who had him is not known for her healing qualities.”

“Practices the dark arts, does she?”

“According to the villagers.
 
He has said only a few words since Justin and I were able to rescue him.
 
He seems to recognize me, but his condition still worries me.”

“Why’s that?”

“He’s lost a lot of weight.
 
Now that I think of it, even before he disappeared he seemed to be feeling ill and losing weight.
 
Then on the boat trip here, his chest began to rattle as if he were having difficulty breathing.
 
We can barely get him to drink sips of water.”

“Maureen, did you make this poultice for his chest?”

“Yes, Mamma.
 
I also made him your special tea.
 
We’ve been spooning it into him regularly.”

“Good.
 
Lady Hamilton, do you know if he has been purged at all?”

“Not that I am aware.
 
I was seasick on the boat, and Justin watched after him for many days.
 
He might know.”

“I’ll go ask.”
 
Justin’s mother left the room leaving Clarissa, her father, and Justin’s grandmother alone.

“Mrs...”

“Call me Matilda.”

“Matilda, will he be all right?”

“I’m not goin’ to lie to you girl, your da’ be in a bad way.
 
He has a lung ailment and that is hard enough to fight, but if he has any poison in his system still, well that will make it even more difficult.
 
I’ll do everythin’ I can for him, the rest is between him and God.”
 
Again, her thick Scottish brogue made it difficult for Clarissa to make out what she said.

“I understand,” she replied sadly.

“Why so sad?”

“Because as much as I don’t want him to suffer, neither do I want to lose him.
 
He is all I have left in this world, and I’m not sure about his will to live.”

“Ye’ve me grandson, haven’t ye?”

“No,” Clarissa shook her head in the negative.
 
“Justin was kind enough to help me on behalf of a friend of the family.
 
We are merely friends.”

“I see,” she said, a lack of belief in her voice.
 
Before Clarissa could reinforce her words, the woman shouted out orders to the staff that had filed in while the two women were talking and shooed Clarissa from the room.

“But I want to help.”

“No,” she replied firmly.
 
“Some of the things I’m goin’ t’have to do to yer father a daughter should no’ witness.
 
Go.
 
Rest.
 
I’ll call ye if’n I need yer help.”
 
The bedroom door closed on her face and she stood in the hall looking bereft.
 

Justin walked past the room on his way to retire for the night and saw Clarissa.
 
She looked like a child who had lost her way.

“Are you all right?” he called softly.
 
He saw her swipe at her eyes, her spine stiffened.

“Of course.
 
Papa is in good hands now.
 
What more could I want?
 
If you’ll excuse me, I think I will rest for a while.”

His hand on her upper arm stopped her.
 
“You don’t have to be strong all the time.”

“Yes, I do.
 
You see, if I’m weak, Papa will know, and then he will give up.
 
I have to help him want to stay with me, don’t you understand?
 
I lost my mother before I ever had the chance to know her.
 
I can’t bear to lose him, as well.
 
He has been everything to me for so long.”

“Gram will do all she can for him.”

“What if it’s not enough?
 
She can’t give him the will to live.
 
He’s been so lonely for so long, and I didn’t even realize it.
 
What if he chooses Mamma over me?
 
What if he leaves me?”
 

Justin felt his own throat clog at her words unable to imagine a life in which his own parents did not exist.
 
Remembering all too painfully how it had felt almost three years ago when they had received word of Jonathan’s death, how angry and hurt he had been.
 
He could not tell her he understood her pain, because he couldn’t get the words past his tight throat.
 
Instead, he pulled her into his arms, offering her a safe harbor from her own personal storm battering down her defenses.

***

Clarissa had fallen deeply asleep in the soft bed that Justin’s mother had appointed her when a cry out in the hall startled her awake.
 
She sat up in bed, looking around blearily, trying to gather her bearings once more.

“Seamus,” she heard Justin’s grandmother call.
 
There were running footsteps in the hall.

“What is it, Mattie?”

“He may be ill, but he has the strength of ten men right now.
 
He’s turned feverish and I can’t hold him still.
 
The crazy man is going to hurt himself.”

“Stand back,” she heard the deep voice of Seamus command.
 
Seamus.
 
Was that Justin’s grandfather?
 
It must be.
 
The name seemed to fit him.
 
She slowly lay back down, and then the words sank in.
 

“Papa,” she cried and jumped from the bed.
 
She wore a borrowed nightgown from Megan and quickly put on a wrapper as well, ever the proper lady.
 
Clarissa flew out of her room, the bedroom door banging loudly against the wall, and across to her father’s.
 
“What’s wrong?” she asked worriedly.
 

Justin had entered behind her and quickly took in his grandfather fighting to hold the duke down.
 
He crossed the room and climbed up on the other side of the bed to help secure the flailing duke.

“Go back to your room,” Matilda commanded Clarissa.

Clarissa took one look at her father and then looked back at Matilda, “No.”

“What did ye say?”

“Grams, there’s no use arguing.
 
Put her to work and tell us what to do.
 
He’s burnin’ up.”

Matilda gave a harrumph and quickly turned toward the herbs she had set out upon her arrival.
 
“See if you can calm him down,” she said and began mixing and crushing items.

Clarissa cautiously walked to the bed and climbed up beside Justin.
 
She leaned over her father and grabbed his face in both hands.
 
“Papa, quit fighting.
 
You’re safe, I promise.”

“Lizzie, is that you?”
 

More people entered the room, but Clarissa did not bother to look up to see who entered.

“No, Papa, it’s me, Clarissa.
 
Papa, listen to me.
 
You have to quit fighting them.
 
They only want to help.
 
You have a terrible fever, and we have to bring your temperature down.”

“Ris?
 
But they have you.
 
Doing horrible things to you.
 
Kill you.”

“Who?”

“No use going on without you and Ida.”

“Papa, listen to me,” Clarissa shouted at him.
 
The old duke opened his rheumy blue eyes.
 
“I’m here.
 
They never had me.
 
I’m here, with you.”

“Safe?”

“Yes, Papa, I’m safe.
 
So are you.”
 
Slowly, he quit fighting the three men who now held him down. Justin’s parents and Megan had been the ones to enter the room as well.
 
“Now, let Matilda take care of you so that you can get better.”