To Make You Feel My Love (19 page)

“Yeah, what the hell?” Alana said as the flood gates opened and she sobbed. “Get out Logan. I knew this was a mistake from the beginning. I don’t have time for these childish games. And I don’t want to play them.”

“Alana, I’m not playing games. I don’t know what this is,” he said, trying to reach his clothes lying by the condom. “What the fuck is this?” Looking back and forth between Alana and the condom. His head hurt, his leg hurt and now his heart was breaking too. He didn’t know what was going on, he just knew by the broken, distant look in her eyes that it was not going to be an easy fix. “What is going on? Where were you?”

“Logan, I’m telling you right now, get the fuck out or I swear I will call Lopez to have you escorted off this property.”

“Call Lopez. Call whoever the fuck you want. I don’t know what happened here, Alana. I’m as confused as you are.” He slipped his athletic shorts up his muscled legs as he sat back down on the sofa.

“You fucked Shelby Lynn. On my couch.
In my home
. Now, Get. The. Fuck. Out.” She opened her door to find Lopez standing there holding Logan’s belongings.

“Misses Alana, are you okay? I find these outside your door,” he said in a thick accent.

“Yes, Lopez, I’m fine. Mr. Montgomery will need you to escort him to his own room.”

If she had slapped him across the face, she could not have shocked him more. Logan sat motionless on the edge of Alana’s soft, brown leather sofa, staring at her as if she had two heads. She thought he slept with Shelby Lynn? How could she think that? He didn’t care what the circumstances looked like, he
did not
slept with Shelby Lynn.

Well screw this!
“You want me gone, sweetheart? Well good fucking riddance. I need this shit like a need a hole in my head.” Finally managing to make it to the door, he snatched his clothes from Lopez’s hands, apologizing. “Excuse me sir,
I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

A heart attack
. That’s what he felt like he was having at that moment. The pain in his leg was a distant memory right now, as the pain in his chest overwhelmed him. Staggering to the elevator, he pushed the button leading to Dusty’s floor. How could this have happened? His mind was a garbled mess. Visions of blonde hair flashed through his mind as he wracked his brain trying to figure out what had happened. He recalled watching the basketball game with Dusty, and drinking a few beers, knowing the doctor specifically told him not to mix alcohol with the pain killers. That was it. That was his last recollection until he opened his eyes and saw the wounded look in Alana’s turquoise eyes.

There was an explanation for this, and he was about to find it. Beating on Dusty’s door, he yelled for someone to open the door.

“What in the hell are you doing out walking around on that knee, boy?” Dusty said, as he grabbed Logan up under his arm.

“Where is your sister? Shelby Lynn,” he called.

“She’s in the shower,” now Dusty wore the same confused look. “What’s up with you? Where’s Alana? And why in the hell do you have red lipstick all over your ass?”

“That’s what I want to ask your sister,” Logan ground out.

“What does she have to do with this?”

“I don’t know, but I’m about to find out.”

Shelby Lynn picked that particular time to saunter out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel and a cynical smile.

“Hello lover,” the words oozed from her lips.

“What the fuck did you do Shelby Lynn?” Logan snarled.

“What did
I
do?” she asked, shocked. “You called me to come to you. Don’t act like you don’t remember, darlin’,” she laughed. “I guess your little girlfriend wasn’t happy, huh?” As she turned to walk away, Logan grabbed her arm. “Ouch!” she cried out.

“Tell me what you did Shelby. I’m not playing with you.”

“Dude, let her go,” Dusty said to Logan, as the men stared each other down.

“Not until she tells me what she did. Alana thinks we fucked.”

Dusty rolled his eyes as he hissed his sister’s name. “Shelby Lynn.”

“I didn’t do anything he didn’t
want
done. He called me, Dusty, I swear.”

“Don’t Shelby Lynn. He was in no shape to call anyone. Hell, he didn’t even have a phone.” Rubbing his hand through his hair, he plopped down on the edge of the bed.

“Well, you believe what you want, both of you. The proof is in the pudding, now ain’t it.” With a tilt of her head, she pointed to the lipstick marks still donning Logan’s body. “Logan, I’m tired of hiding our relationship from my brother. It’s time he knew the truth.”

“The truth is you are deranged. You need help, Shelby Lynn. I told you that in Savannah.”

“In Savannah? When were you in Savannah?” Dusty asked.

“Last year, when Logan wrecked his bike.”

“You were there when Logan wrecked his bike?”

“She was in town, when I wrecked my bike. She was
not
with me when I wrecked my bike,” Logan clarified. He wasn’t about to tell his best friend that she was drunk off her ass, rubbing on every man in the bar. And he’d be damned if he was going to tell Dusty that he had sent her home in a taxi cab, and was on his way to her hotel to check to make sure she made it to her room.

Shaking her head, Shelby Lynn said, “Why are you always denying us, Logan. I belong to you. You belong to me.”

Releasing her arm as she started to touch his face, Logan flatly said, “No, Shelby Lynn, you
do not
belong to me. And I sure as hell don’t belong to you. I guess I don’t belong to anyone now.” Logan limped to the chair in the corner.

“Shell, go get some damn clothes on. Damn woman! I’m your brother for god’s sake. I don’t want to see that shit.” Shaking his head, Dusty made his way to the balcony. “I need a cigarette.”

“Dusty, I know you’re not ready to leave and all, but I really need to get the hell out of here.”

“Hey man, bros before hoes, right?” he teased.

“You better watch that shit. Becky hears that, she’ll kick your ass.”

“You guys will set things straight, man. You’ll see.” Dusty sat on the edge of the bed facing Logan.

“No, we won’t. She can’t forgive me for this. Hell, I can’t forgive myself.” Maybe he would never forgive himself. The shattered look on Alana’s face was permanently ingrained in his mind, and he had put it there. What kind of man did that to the woman he loved?

“My sister took advantage of you. You know that. You were out of it when I left you.” Dusty stated, “You couldn’t get your thumb up, much less your dick.”

“It doesn’t matter. The fact is, I did it. You didn’t see the look in her eyes either, man. Devastation. That’s all I can say. It was like looking at someone who just witnessed a loved one getting his head blown off. She won’t come back from that.”

“Alright, buddy. Let me call Becky.”

“Logan,” Shelby Lynn entered the room, this time, wearing clothes and remorse. “Let me take you home? Dusty ain’t ready to leave yet, why make him?”

“Well, for once you’re right. Besides, the damage is done.” He had been defeated. All these years dodging bullets, and one petite little firecracker had defeated him. How did that happen?

“Let me pack my things up, and we’ll hit the road, okay shug?”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Dusty asked, helping Logan to his feet.

“Yeah, I need to get out of here.”

“Okay, brother. I’ll see ya back at home I guess then?”

“I’ll let you know where I land.” He wasn’t sure what would happen with his leg, and didn’t care for that matter. The pain turned to numbness, as he moved through the motions. With a bleeding heart, Logan packed his suitcase, leaving the only woman he had ever loved.

* * * * * * * *

Unable to breathe, Alana fell to her knees, feeling as though someone had reached into her chest and pulled her heart out. Her body shook violently as she sobbed into her hands. How was she going to pick up the millions of pieces of her broken heart and get through this? Uncle James and Aunt Penny needed her right now. She had to pull it together, but how? She wasn’t sure how long she was there on her knees, paralyzed and crying, not seeing, hearing or moving, when she finally heard the beating at the door.

“Dammit, Alana, don’t make me break this door down!” an angry Becky screamed through the door.

Wiping the tears spilling down her cheeks, she crawled to the door to stand. As she opened the door, Becky burst through, grabbing her in a death grip hug.

“Oh baby girl! I am so sorry. Dusty called to tell me what was going on. You scared the shit of me when you didn’t answer the door. Are you okay?”

“No, not really.” She wept uncontrollably in her friend’s arms. “I’m not sure I’ll ever be okay again.” Becky let her cry, consoling her with soft words and giving her strength to stand. When she finally settled enough to open her eyes again, they moved toward the sofa. The used condom caught Becky’s eye. “What the fuck is that?” she asked in shock.

“Oh god, Becky!” Alana wailed in grief.

“Hang on, sweetie. Let me get this cleaned up.” Moving to the kitchenette, Becky found paper towels, scooped up the condom and tossed it in the trash.

“Dumb motherfucker,” she mumbled under her breath. “You know, Dusty said Shelby Lynn took advantage of Logan and you shouldn’t be mad at him.”

“Did Dusty tell you that Logan summons Shelby Lynn on a regular basis? She was with him when he wrecked in Savannah.”

“What? No!”

“Yes. It doesn’t matter. Obviously, he wasn’t that out of it. He managed to open the door to her and then finish with a bang.” Raising her eyebrows towards the trash can that held the evidence of his afternoon. “Becky, what was I thinking? People don’t fall in love in a week!” she groaned.

“Oh, I’m not so sure about that. I saw the way you looked at one another. Looked like love to me. I sure never looked at the ex that way.”

“It was the sex.
God
, the sex! I’ll never have mind blowing sex like that again!” Letting out a rush of air, she threw her head against the back of the couch.

Shaking her head to gather her senses, she raised from the couch. “I need to grab a few things and head back to the hospital. They are preparing Uncle James for surgery.”

“This too shall pass, sweet girl. Give it time. If it’s meant to be, it will be.” Becky hugged Alana as she passed to go to her bedroom.

“I can’t think about him anymore, Becks. Please promise me you will
never
mention his name to me again. I won’t get through this if I’m constantly reminded of him.”

“You got my word, cross my heart,” she said, making the criss cross mark over her chest. “What ‘cha got to drink in this joint anyway?” she asked on her way to the fridge.

“Hell, I don’t know. Help yourself to whatever is in there though.”

Making her way to her closet, Alana grabbed a coral halter top off the hanger, a clean pair of khaki shorts from her drawer and clean undies. She turned the water to the shower on as hot as she could make it, maybe she could scald his memory from her brain. This shower brought so many good memories of his touch. It would never be the same.

Pulling the shower curtain back, she immersed herself in the stinging spray of the hot water. The sharp pain was a welcome feeling. Maybe eventually the numbness would subside. Feeling anything was good right now. Allowing the water to beat against her skin, she wanted the pain to wash down the drain with the soap suds.

Finishing her shower, she toweled off, put her clothes on and pulled her hair back in a loose ponytail. No time to straighten it today, it would have to stay curly. Grabbing her laptop, and a few other things to occupy her time at the hospital, she joined Becky in the living room.

“You didn’t have to wait on me,” she said, searching for her keys. Finding the apartment key, she said, “Oh, thanks. I almost forgot you had this.”

“I didn’t,” she answered confused.

“I gave it to you when I left for the hospital.”

“I know, but I gave it to Dusty. He must’ve left it.”

“Oh, okay. I’m heading back to meet Aunt Penny. I’ll call when I hear something more concrete on Uncle James.” She hugged her friend as they opened her apartment door facing the parking lot.

“Okay, let me know what I can do. I’ll be there later to check up on you. I’ll bring you a Starbucks or something.”

“Thanks,” she smiled.

Turning to shut the door, her breathing stopped as she saw Logan walking with his arm around Shelby Lynn’s shoulder. One arm was wrapped around his waist, the other hand resting on his chest, smiling into his gorgeous hazel eyes. As the two women’s eyes met, Shelby Lynn smirked, reaching up to kiss his stubbled cheek. The corkscrew tightened in Alana’s heart watching Shelby Lynn help Logan into her white and pink Jeep Wrangler.

CHAPTER TWENTY

“Cut the crap Shelby Lynn, would ya?” Logan flinched as Shelby Lynn shut the jeep door.

“What are you talkin’ bout now darlin’?”

“I know what you’re doing, now cut it out. You think I don’t know Alana was watching you? You just keep digging that knife in deeper don’t you?”

With a serious scowl on her face, Shelby Lynn turned in her seat to look at Logan. “You think I’m trying to hurt you? Logan, no! I’m trying to save you. I love you Logan. I’ve loved you since I was fifteen years old.”

“Save me from what?” he asked, confused.

“From hurt and pain. I would never hurt you or cause you pain.” She stroked his arm as she stared into his eyes. “But that girl? She was a heartache waiting to happen.” She nodded her head as she turned the key and the engine came to life. “I saved you Logan Montgomery. I saved you from her heartache.”