To My Senses The Nicci Beauvoir Series Book 1 (36 page)

This office was also filled
with the same black and chrome furniture. There were a few
scattered diplomas, and what looked like family pictures, on the
far wall. I took a chair across from an empty desk and was told to
wait.

A short while later, a
petite woman with long blonde hair, dressed in a tailored gray
pantsuit entered the room. She looked very out of breath, but still
managed to give me a warm smile.

“
I’m Ellen Kirby, Director
of Nursing here at Coliseum Psychiatric Hospital.” She shook my
hand and then took a chair bedside me. “Dr. Fagles has told me a
great deal about you.”

“
He is a very good friend,”
I clarified.

“
Well, he said you would
fit in well here.” She looked me over with her blue eyes. “I’ve
known Dr. Fagles since he started here during his
residency.”

“
Michael…I mean, Dr. Fagles
works here?”

“
Of course. He’s been on
our staff for some time. He is a prominent advocate for our
facility and I trust his judgment. When can you start?”

I looked at her feeling
more than a little bewildered. I hadn’t filled out an application
or even handed anyone my resume.

“
I, ah, graduate next month
on the fifteenth. I was planning to take some time off before I
start working.”

“
Good, that will give me
some time to set everything up. I can call you later with a start
date once I get your schedule for orientation organized. Michael,
however, told me you would not be working nights, so we will put
you on the day and evening shifts.” She sat back in her chair and
glimpsed her desk. “We will start you out on the third floor with
our minimal level patients, and work you up to crisis level. Your
orientation should take about three months. By then, you should
have your state board results for your license.” She shifted her
eyes to me. “Any questions?”

I wanted to ask a thousand
questions, but all I could say was, “No, that sounds
great.”

Ms. Kirby shifted in her
chair and checked her watch. “Thank you for coming, Nicci. I am
sure you will like it here. Many of our staff are like family.” She
stood up and showed me to the door.

I was again standing in the receptionist
area when Ruby came up and tapped me on the shoulder.

“
Here are all the forms to
fill out. Just drop them by in the next few weeks and we’ll get you
your identification card and your schedule. Congratulations. We get
a lot of people applying to work here, but they don’t take just
anybody.” She showed me out of the waiting area and back to the
lobby.

All around the lobby,
people were coming and going from the elevators to the front
entrance. I took a seat on one of the benches close by and
waited.

“
Hey, how did it go? You
met with Ellen?”

I looked up to see Michael
standing over me, smiling. “I got the job. She’s going to let me
know when I can start.”

“
Great.” He was beaming, as
he took a seat beside me. “I’m here almost every other day, so we
can have lunches together. I don’t want you working nights. I told
Ellen that.”

I glared at him. “When were
you going to tell me about that?”

“
Look, don’t be angry. I
wanted to make sure everything went smoothly for you. You know that
it’s not safe to be in this area of town late at night. I just want
you to work days and evenings. I’ll pick you up on the nights you
have to work until eleven. But I don’t think that will be too
often.” He kissed my cheek. “This will work out perfectly, you’ll
see.”

I carefully weighed his
exuberance while a sick feeling of anger rose in my stomach. “Ms.
Kirby said you two were old friends.”

“
Yeah, she started as a
nurse on the floors here when I was a resident. I recommended her
to the board for the position she has now. So she kind of owes
me.”

“
I guess she paid you back,
in full.”

I tried to pacify the
burning in my gut with the rationalization that I had just been
given a great opportunity. An opportunity I should take full
advantage of, even if it was all Michael’s idea.

***

To celebrate my new job,
Michael had made reservations at the Versailles Room for dinner.
Still wearing my interview outfit, I hadn’t had time to give my
father the news. Michael had simply swept me away to his office,
where he made a few phone calls and checked his schedule for the
next day. Before I knew it, we were sitting in a private booth in
one of the city’s most exclusive restaurants.

He ordered an expensive bottle of champagne
and oysters for an appetizer. I downed three consecutive glasses of
champagne and skipped the oysters.

“
I was thinking about
having a little get together next month after your graduation at my
place. The renovations are almost done and we can invite a few
people over,” he suggested between ravenously slurping down
oysters.

My head spinning from the
champagne, I should have carefully considered his offer, but
decided to just go along with his plans. “Sure, if that’s what you
want, Michael.”

“
I thought I would order a
cake and maybe have it catered, nothing too fancy. Don’t want
everyone making too big a mess at our place.” He refilled my glass
of champagne. “Nicci?” His tone changed and he gave me a thoughtful
glance. “I want to talk to you about something.”

I picked up my glass. “I’m
listening, Michael.”

“
I was thinking about after
you graduate from school. Do you plan on spending all of your time
working? I mean, when you get married did you plan on working
full-time or part-time?”

“
I’ve never really thought
about it. I always figured I would work and learn how to be a good
nurse. Maybe go back to graduate school in a year or two and
eventually teach. I’ve never considered marriage.”

“
Never? Come on, Nicci. All
girls think about getting married someday. You’ve never thought
about being Mrs. So-and-so?”

“
No. I don’t want to be
Mrs. So-and-so. I’m sure, even if I got married, I would keep my
name.” I took another deep gulp of champagne.

He appeared confused.
“What? You mean you don’t want to take your husband’s
name?”

I didn’t understand what
his problem was. “No, I want to keep my name.” I downed the rest of
my glass, eager to feel the warmth of the alcohol in my
system.

“
For goodness sakes, why?”
He raised his voice, sounding perturbed.

It seemed that I had hit a
nerve.

Putting my glass down, I
gathered my thoughts. “I like my name. It’s who I am, not who I
marry that matters. I never could understand why just because
you’re married to someone, you have to change your name. It’s like
changing your identity. It’s not very practical from a woman’s
point of view.” I took in his downturned mouth and knitted brow.
“Would you take your wife’s name?”

“
Absolutely not,” he
refuted. “What has that got to do with anything? Nobody takes their
wife’s name. The wife is supposed to take the husband’s name for
the sake of the children.”

I reached for the bottle of
champagne and poured some more of the golden liquid into my glass.
Before I had finished filling my glass, Michael snatched the bottle
from my hand. He set it back in the ice bucket and then moved the
ice bucket closer to his side of the table, out of my
reach.

“
That’s a lame argument,” I
admonished. “How many people remarry and get a new last name and
their children still have the first husband’s name? Or what if they
don’t know the father’s name? It’s not the fifties anymore,
Michael.”

“
Well, my wife is going to
take my name.” He stuck out his chest, resembling the dominant male
of the species.

I shrugged, already bored
with the conversation. “That will be her choice.”

He scowled at me. “What if
I ask you to be my wife, Nicci?”

I comprehended the idea and
then, without warning, I started giggling uncontrollably. Thanks to
the champagne, my nose was numb and the room was spinning. I had to
keep my feet on the floor to stay balanced.

Michael grabbed my arm.
“Let’s get you home.”

I couldn’t help laughing at
Michael. He had the silliest look on his face. His nose was
crinkled up and his lips were drawn together, like he was suffering
from a severe case of constipation. The image of his expression was
riveted in my mind, and the laughter came and went in
waves.

I don’t remember leaving
the restaurant. I don’t remember the drive to Michael’s. The next
thing I remember is waking up on Michael’s sofa with a blanket
thrown over my waist and my head pounding like a pile driver. I was
disoriented, and it took me a few minutes to clear the fog from my
head. I groped around in the dark for my purse. Unable to find it,
I got up and made it to the kitchen to look at the clock there. It
was just after two in the morning.

I walked back, as silently
as possible, to the living room. Just when I thought I had made it
back safely, I tripped over something and fell against the
banister, taking some heavy metal object to the floor with me. The
crash must have jolted Michael out of bed; he was down the stairs
almost the moment I hit the floor.

“
Hey, why are you up?”
Michael helped me unwind leg from a brass lamp.

“
I went to the kitchen to
see what time it was. Where’s my cell phone? I have to call my
Dad.”

“
Your phone is in your
purse by the sofa. I already called your father and told him what
happened.”

I limped over to the sofa.
“I’ll never hear the end of it from him. He always has this fear
that I’ll end up like my uncle. What did he say?”

He sat down next to me and
held my hand. “That he would see us in the morning when I brought
you home, and to take care of you. I told him that you hadn’t eaten
all day and were nervous about the interview. Which you were.” He
nodded at me, then paused and gave me the strangest look. “It’s all
right, Nicci. I’m not angry with you.”

“
Angry with me!” I yanked
my hand away. “I swear sometimes, Michael, you can be the most
condescending asshole I’ve ever meet.” His nostrils flared.
“Sorry,” I quickly amended.

“
You’re not yourself.” He
sat very still and didn’t say anything. When he finally turned to
me, he had the strangest look in his eyes. “Who’s David?” he softly
asked.

I almost fell off the
sofa.

“
You called me David when I
carried you in from the car. Obviously, he was someone special. I
can see that in your face.” He stood and strutted to the fireplace.
Resting his arm on the mantle, he admitted, “There was always
someone else there, between us.”

Oh crap!
“Look, Michael. David was…you’re right. He has
come between us in some ways, but not completely. I told you I
needed time. I did. I still do.”

Michael was standing with
his back to me, staring into the hearth. I could tell by the
tension in his shoulders that my disclosure about David bothered
him. When he eventually faced me, his eyes were swimming in
pain.

“
Prove it to me. Prove that
you are over him,” he implored.

I placed my hands against
my throbbing temples, unsure of how to proceed. “What do you want?
A sworn testimonial?”

He moved rushed toward me.
“I want you. I have always wanted you. If you are over this David,
we don’t have to wait anymore.”

I arched away from him.
“After David, I was very hurt. I swore I would never be with
another man again until I knew he loved me.”

His hands caressed my
shoulders and then he kissed my cheek. “I love you. I understand
and respect you. Show me how much you love me, Nicci.”

Michael’s lips were
suddenly all over me. His hands started pushing the hem of my dress
up my thighs. His teeth were nipping at my neck.

I shoved him away. “Not
here, Michael.”

“
Where?” he yelled at
me.

“
I don’t want to do it on
the sofa.” I took his hand. Knowing I could not hold him off any
longer, I said, “Take me to bed.”

His eyes lit up and he
lifted me into his arms. Kissing my neck, Michael carried me up the
stairs to his bedroom. With a little too much enthusiasm, he threw
me onto the bed. I had to stop myself from bouncing over the side.
Instantly, he was kissing me and mumbling words of love in my ear.
He removed his blue pajama top and I ran my hands down his smooth,
muscular chest. I couldn’t help but notice how different he felt
compared to David.

David’s skin had been
supple, almost electric beneath my fingers. Michael’s skin was flat
and felt dull. A whiff of Michael’s heady cologne accosted my
nostrils. I remembered how David had always smelled of an exotic
mix of paint and sweat, making my stomach do flips whenever he drew
near. I pushed the comparisons from my mind and concentrated on the
task at hand. I reached around and explored the well-proportioned
muscles in Michael’s back and shoulders.