To the Ends of the Earth (23 page)

“I don’t know about any ferry,” he said.

He was an old man and had gray skin and he looked fireproof. His name was Desmond Bowles, and I expected him to be deaf. But his hearing was very good. He wore a black overcoat.

“What are those boys doing?” he demanded.

They were windsurfing, I explained.

“All they do is fall down,” he said.

One of the pleasures of the coast was watching windsurfers teetering and falling into the cold water, and trying to climb back and falling again. This sport was all useless struggle.

“I’ve just walked from Pokesdown—”

That was seven miles away.

“—and I’m eighty-six years old,” Mr. Bowles said.

“What time did you leave Pokesdown?”

“I don’t know.”

“Will you walk it again?”

“No,” Mr. Bowles said. But he kept walking. He walked stiffly, without pleasure. His feet were huge, he wore old, shiny, bulging shoes, and his hat was crushed in his hand. He swung the hat for balance and faced forward, panting at the Promenade. “You can walk faster than me—go on, don’t let me hold you up.”

But I wanted to talk to him: eighty-six and he had just walked from Pokesdown! I asked him why.

“I was a stationmaster there, you see. Pokesdown and Boscombe—those were my stations. I was sitting in my house—I’ve got a bungalow over there”—he pointed to the cliff—“and I said to myself, ‘I want to see them again.’ I took the train to Pokesdown and when I saw it was going to be sunny I reckoned I’d walk back. I retired from
the railways twenty-five years ago. My father was in the railways. He was transferred from London to Portsmouth and of course I went with him. I was just a boy. It was 1902.”

“Where were you born?”

“London,” he said.

“Where, in London?”

Mr. Bowles stopped walking. He was a big man. He peered at me and said, “I don’t know where. But I used to know.”

“How do you like Bournemouth?”

“I don’t like towns,” he said. He started to walk again. He said, “I like this.”

“What do you mean?”

He motioned with his crumpled hat, swinging it outward.

He said, “The open sea.”

It was early in my trip, but already I was curious about English people in their cars staring seaward, and elderly people in deck chairs all over the south coast watching waves, and now Mr. Bowles, the old railwayman, saying, “I like this … the open sea.” What was going on here? There was an answer in Elias Canetti’s
Crowds and Power
, an unusual and brilliant—some critics have said eccentric—analysis of the world of men in terms of crowds. There are crowd symbols in nature, Canetti says—fire is one, and rain is another, and the sea is a distinct one. “The sea is multiple, it moves, and it is dense and cohesive”—like a crowd—“Its multiplicity lies in its waves”—the waves are like men. The sea is strong, it has a voice, it is constant, it never sleeps, “it can soothe or threaten or break out in storms. But it is always there.” Its mystery lies in what it covers: “Its sublimity is enhanced by the thought of what it contains, the multitudes of plants and animals hidden within it.” It is universal and all-embracing; “it is an image of stilled humanity; all life flows into it and it contains all life.”

Later in his book, when he is dealing with nations, Canetti describes the crowd symbol of the English. It is the sea: all the triumphs and disasters of English history are bound up with the sea, and the sea has offered the Englishman
transformation and danger. “His life at home is complementary to life at sea: security and monotony are its essential characteristics.”

“The Englishman sees himself as a captain,” Canetti says: this is how his individualism relates to the sea.

So I came to see Mr. Bowles, and all those old south coast folk staring seaward, as sad captains fixing their attention upon the waves. The sea murmured back at them. The sea was a solace. It contained all life, of course, but it was also the way out of England—and it was the way to the grave, seaward, out there, offshore. The sea had the voice and embrace of a crowd, but for this peculiar nation it was not only a comfort, representing vigor and comfort. It was an end, too. Those people were looking in the direction of death.

Mr. Bowles was still slogging along beside me. I asked him if he had fought in the First World War.

“First and Second,” he said. “Both times in France.” He slowed down, remembering. He said, “The Great War was awful … it was terrible. But I wasn’t wounded. I was in it for four years.”

“But you must have had leave,” I said.

“A fortnight,” he said, “in the middle.”

Mr. Bowles left me at Canford Cliffs, and I walked on to Sandbanks.

“Y
OU’RE ALONE
?” M
RS.
S
TARLING SAID AT THE
V
ICTORY
Guest House, glancing at my knapsack, my leather jacket, my oily shoes.

“So far,” I said.

“I’ll show you to your room,” she said, a little rattled by my reply.

I was often warmed by a small thrill in following the younger landladies up four flights to the tiny room at the top of the house. We would enter, breathless from the climb, and stand next to the bed somewhat flustered, until she remembered to ask for the £5 in advance—but even that was ambiguous and erotic.

Most of them said,
You’re alone?
or
Just a single, then?
I never explained why. I said I was in publishing. I said I had a week off. I did not say that I had no choice but to travel alone, because I was taking notes and stopping everywhere to write them. I could think clearly only when I was alone, and then my imagination began to work as my mind wandered. They might have asked: How can you bear your own company? I would have had to reply: Because I talk to myself—talking to myself has always been part of my writing and, by the way, I’ve been walking along the seawall from Dawlish in the rain muttering, “Wombwell … warmwell … nutwell … cathole …”

A
BOUT A HALF HOUR AFTER ARRIVING IN
N
EWQUAY
I
WAS
sitting in a parlor, a dog chewing my shoe, and having a cup of tea with Florence Puttock (“I said leave that shoe alone!”), who was telling me about the operation on her knee. It was my mention of walking that brought up the subject of the feet, legs, knees, and her operation. And the television was on—there was a kind of disrespect these days in not turning it on for Falklands news. And Queenie, the other Peke, had a tummy upset. And Mrs. Puttock’s cousin Bill hadn’t rung all day—he usually rang just after
lunch. And Donald Puttock, who lisped and was sixty-one—he had taken early retirement because of his back—Donald was watching the moving arrows on the Falklands map and listening to Florence talking about ligaments, and he said, “I spent me ’ole life in ’ornchurch.”

Somehow, I was home.

But it was not my home. I had burrowed easily into this cozy privacy, and I could leave any time I wished. I had made the choice, for the alternatives in most seaside towns were a hotel, or a guest house, or a bed-and-breakfast place. This last alternative always tempted me, but I had to feel strong to do it right. A bed-and-breakfast place was a bungalow, usually on a suburban street some distance from the Front and the Promenade and the hotels. It was impossible to enter such a house and not feel you were interrupting a domestic routine—something about Florence’s sewing and Donald’s absurd slippers. The house always smelled of cooking and disinfectant, but most of all it smelled of in-laws.

It was like every other bungalow on the street, except for one thing. This one had a sign in the window saying
VACANCIES
. I had the impression that this was the only expense in starting such an establishment. You went over to Maynards and bought a
VACANCIES
sign, and then it was simply a matter of airing out the spare bedroom. Soon, an odd man would show up—knapsack, leather jacket, oily hiker’s shoes—and spend an evening listening to the householders’ stories of the high cost of living, or the greatness of Bing Crosby, or a particularly painful operation. The English, the most obsessively secretive people in their day-today living, would admit you to the privacy of their homes, and sometimes even unburden themselves, for just £5. “I’ve got an awful lot on my plate at the moment,” Mrs. Spackle would say. “There’s Bert’s teeth, the Hoover’s packed up, and my Enid thinks she’s in the family way.…” When it was late, and everyone else in bed, the woman you knew as Mrs. Garlick would pour you a schooner of cream sherry, say, “Call me Ida,” and begin to tell you about her amazing birthmark.

Bed and breakfast was always vaguely amateur, the
woman of the house saying she did it because she liked to cook, and could use a little extra cash (“money for jam”), and she liked company, and their children were all grown up, and the house was rather empty and echoey. The whole enterprise of bed and breakfast was carried on by the woman, but done with a will, because she was actually getting paid for doing her normal household chores. No special arrangements were required. At its best it was like a perfect marriage; at its worst it was like a night with terrible in-laws. Usually I was treated with a mixture of shyness and suspicion; but that was traditional English hospitality—wary curiosity and frugal kindness.

The English required guests to be uncomplaining, and most of the lower-middle-class people who ran bed-and-breakfast places were intolerant of a guest’s moaning, and they thought—with some justification—that they had in their lives suffered more than that guest. “During the war,” they always began, and I knew I was about to lose the argument in the face of some evidence of terrible hardship. During the war, Donald Puttock was buzz-bombed by the Germans as he crouched under his small staircase in Homchurch, and, as he often said, he was lucky to be alive.

I told him I was traveling around the coast.

“Just what we did!” Mr. Puttock said. He and Florence had driven from Kent to Cornwall in search of a good place to live. They had stopped in all the likely places. Newquay was the best. They would stay here until they died. If they moved at all (Florence wanted fewer bedrooms), it would be down the road.

“Course, the local people ’ere ’ate us,” Mr. Puttock said, cheerfully.

“Donald got his nose bitten off the other day by a Cornishman,” Mrs. Puttock said. “Still hasn’t got over it.”

“I don’t give a monkey’s,” Mr. Puttock said.

Later, Mrs. Puttock said that she had always wanted to do bed and breakfast. She wasn’t like some of them, she said, who made their guests leave the house after breakfast and stay away all day—some of these people you saw in the bus shelter, they weren’t waiting for the number fifteen; they were bed-and-breakfast people, killing time. It was
bed-and-breakfast etiquette to stay quietly out of the house all day, even if it was raining.

Mrs. Puttock gave me a card she had had printed. It listed the attractions of her house.

The lounge was the Puttocks’ parlor, the parking space was their driveway, the shower was a shower, and the tables tables. This described their house, which was identical with every other bungalow in Newquay.

I was grateful for the bed-and-breakfast places. At ten-thirty, after the Falklands news (and now every night there was “Falklands Special”), while we were all a bit dazed by the violence and the speculation and Mr. Puttock was saying, “The Falklands look like bloody Bodmin Moor, but I suppose we have to do something,” Mrs. Puttock would say to me, “Care for a hot drink?” When she was in the kitchen making Ovaltine, Mr. Puttock and I were talking baloney about the state of the world. I was grateful, because to me this was virgin territory—a whole house open to my prying eyes: books, pictures, postcard messages, souvenirs, and opinions. I especially relished looking at family photographs. “That’s us at the Fancy Dress Ball in Romford just after the war.… That’s our cat, Monty.… That’s me in a bathing costume.…” My intentions were honorable but my instincts were nosy, and I went sniffing from bungalow to bungalow to discover how these people lived.

M
R
. D
EEDY AT THE
B
ULL SAID
, “S
EE, NO ONE WANTS TO
make plans ahead. They go on working. It’s not only the money. They don’t like to go away, because they don’t know whether they’ll have jobs to go back to.”

Then “Falklands Special” was on television, and we dutifully trooped toward Mrs. Deedy’s shout of “It’s the news!” The news was very bad: more deaths, more ships sunk. But there was always great bewilderment among people watching the news, because there was never enough of it and it was sometimes contradictory. Why were there so few photographs of fighting? Usually it was reporters speaking of disasters over crackly telephones. The English seemed—in private—ashamed and confused, and regarded Argentina as pathetic, ramshackle, and unlucky, with a conscript army of very young boys. They hated discussing it, but they could talk all night on the subject of how business was bad.

“You just reminded me,” Mrs. Deedy said. “The Smiths have canceled. They had that September booking. Mr. Smith rang this morning.”

“Knickers,” Mr. Deedy said.

“His wife died,” Mrs. Deedy said.

“Oh?” Mr. Deedy was doubtful—sorry he had said knickers.

“She wasn’t poorly,” Mrs. Deedy said. “It was a heart attack.”

Mr. Deedy relaxed at the news of the heart attack. It was no one’s fault, really—not like a sickness or a crime. This was more a kind of removal.

“That’s another returned deposit,” Mrs. Deedy said. She was cross.

“That makes two so far,” Mr. Deedy said. “Let’s hope there aren’t any more.”

The next day I heard two tattling ladies talking about the Falklands. It was being said that the British had become jingoistic because of the war, and that a certain swagger was now evident. It was true of the writing in many newspapers, but it was seldom true of the talk I heard. Most people were like Mrs. Mullion and Miss Custis at the Britannia in Combe Martin, who, after some decent platitudes, wandered from talk of the Falklands to extensive reminiscing about the Second World War.