To Wed A Highlander (30 page)

“I know. I need you, too,” she whispered back.

He shook his head. He knew he needed to say the words, have her understand. Never before had they been hard to say, but then never before had they meant so very much. “That’s not what I meant. I love you, Makenna.”

The three words she had longed to hear, but never thought she would. Makenna pressed the back of her hand to her mouth and bit down on her knuckle. She watched the flames bounce against the blackened stone walls. Colin was waiting for her to speak, wanting her to acknowledge him in some way, but this was not something she could just accept. Those words had the power to destroy her.

Makenna lowered her hand and spoke. “Colin, please don’t. Don’t say it if you don’t mean it. What we have is good enough, but it won’t be if you lie to me.”

Her voice was hollow and filled with pain, and Colin knew then the agony he had inadvertently inflicted upon her. He reached over and clasped her hand, pulling them both up out of their chairs. Colin folded her tightly against him for several minutes before framing her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him. No one had ever looked at him the way Makenna did. The love in her eyes was so bright and clear, he knew it would never waver, regardless of what was to happen.

“If I lost you, it would destroy me. You are the most important thing in my world. I have never felt for anyone what I feel for you. It’s so strong it terrifies me. I can deny it no longer, to you or to me. I never thought it was possible to love someone as much as I love you.”

Colin loved her.

Without saying a word, she lifted her face and kissed him, slowly, deeply. Powerful emotions raged through him. Wild, desperate hunger flooded him.

He shrugged off his leine and turned her around, leaning her back against him. The heaviness of his arousal pressed into her buttocks, reminding her of the heat and strength of his body. Makenna could feel his breathing. It matched her own—excited, uncontrolled, ragged with need.

Makenna felt his fingertips slowly maneuver the chemise off her shoulders. The sensual movement captivated all her senses.

His hands shook as he drew his palm down between her breasts and over the small curve of her stomach and then lower. Makenna grabbed his thighs and felt his muscles flexing beneath her hands.

The full, heavy heat of his erection rubbed against her backside as she squirmed beneath his touch. “I need to touch you, love, so very much.” It was half plea, half demand.

She arched herself against him as his fingers cupped the heat of her, pushing aside the tight curls of her red hair. Slowly, at an almost torturous pace, he edged a finger inside the already slick, hot channel.

Makenna cried out softly and closed her eyes. He was driving her wild with need of him. She wanted to order him to throw her on the bed and bury himself in her, but she just trembled, losing her ability to speak or stand. Colin held her upright and continued to tease her senses with his fingers. She writhed within his grip, grabbing his neck, pleading for more. She was so incredibly hot.

Makenna shuddered beneath the sensual onslaught. She thought she was going to die from pleasure, but did not pull back from it.

“God, Makenna, I don’t think I am going to live through this if I wait any longer,” Colin groaned as he drew her back toward the bed.

Makenna moaned a soft whimper mirroring his own need. The primitive erotic sound nearly drove Colin mad. He came down on top of her and pulled her into his arms. She didn’t resist. Colin growled and sought the intimate connection with her body.

Makenna’s need for him was beyond urgent. Her body took control. She parted her thighs wide for him, and he lowered himself over her. He gripped her hips, and Makenna felt Colin’s broad shaft brush against her, probing gently. Unwilling to wait, Makenna met his exploration with an upward thrust of her hips and they were one.

Colin pulled out and drove slowly into her again, feeling her close around him, clinging to him. She was incredibly hot, wet, and so very tight. She was more than ready for him.

Makenna captured his lips and dove into his warm mouth, kissing him with an almost violent need. She crushed her body against him, rocking, taking him deeper and deeper inside her with each thrust.

Suddenly, Makenna arched against his aggressive hardness and cried out. Colin answered her with an explosive climax so overwhelming he shouted out her name again and again. He was out of control. He was safe. He was loved.

Their bodies were damp with perspiration, and the scent of their love filled the air. Colin didn’t think he had the strength left in him to roll away from her and decided to kiss her instead. First, he kissed her brow, then the tip of her nose. Then he captured her lips, kissing her slowly, taking his time, letting her feel the endless need and love inside him.

“You are so beautiful,” he muttered, awed.

“I’m a complete mess,” she countered, her voice still husky with passion.

“I’m the luckiest man in the world,” Colin sighed with a sense of peace deeper than he had ever known.

Makenna put her arms around him and stroked the sleek, muscled contours of his back. “Why do you say that?”

Her deep green eyes were dark with passion and love. He had never known such contentment. “With the exception of my parents, and to a degree my brothers, I have never felt completely accepted by another soul. I didn’t realize how lonely I had been until that night at the loch when you first told me you loved me. The depth of your confession shook me deeply. I couldn’t sort out my emotions. The only thing I knew was that I wanted you more than ever, and that I had to protect you.”

“People say they love each other every day. You heard it many times from Deirdre. Why should my declaration be so different?”

“People fall in love every day, and their love
is
real. But it is a rare thing for a man to be completely loved by another. To be accepted without question. To be trusted with blind faith. My parents had such a bond. They would fight, sometimes furiously, but oh, how they loved. Visiting Conor last year, I realized that he had found it with Laurel. You’ve seen them. It is as if they are each parts of the other. Watching them reminded me how rare it was to find someone to share your life with that loves you in that way. I knew then that I would never know the solace it brings. The day I married you I asked you to trust me, and you did, more than anyone had ever done before.”

“Many men have trusted you with their lives.”

Colin rolled onto his back and tucked his arm beneath his head. “Not like that. It is one thing to rely on someone to save your life, but it’s another to trust someone with the
quality
of your life. The latter takes a far greater leap of faith. You gave that to me, almost from the very beginning. Without it, I don’t know if I would ever have had the courage to love again.” Colin turned to his side and captured her gaze with his own. “And that is why I am so lucky.”

“You are luckier than you think.” Makenna sighed as Colin pushed the heavy weight of her hair aside and started a trail of kisses down her throat.

“Aye, I sure am,” he murmured against her skin, ready to show her again just how much he loved her.

“If being completely loved by one Dunstan is enough to make you lucky, how about being loved by two?”

Colin craned his head back and propped himself up on his elbows. He furrowed his brows questioningly. “By two?” he asked, not understanding.

“Aye, by two. Me and our child, whom I have no doubt will love you and think you are the most wonderful father in the world, just as you are a husband,” she clarified while scattering small kisses along his chin and neck.

“A baby?” he croaked. “We’re going to have a baby?”

“Aye, in the late spring. Are you sure that you are fine with the idea? I know it is soon. We have not been married long, and you have so much on your mind with the—”

Colin lightly pressed his finger on her lips and then slowly released them. His eyes were alight with pleasure. “It is not too soon, though you may think so tomorrow when I assign a hundred men to follow you about and see to your safety.” He bent his head and again started kissing the sensitive areas of her neck before moving lower.

Makenna swatted playfully at his shoulder. “A hundred men! Gorten and Brodie are more than enough and listen to me—nothing is going to change. I will be more careful, but I am not going to sit about through the winter. I would go mad. Do you hear me, Colin?
Nothing
is going to change.”

Colin stopped his foray, his eyes dancing.
“Nothing,
Makenna? Then, I guess we should continue with my most favorite time of the day.” Just the thought of burying himself within her sent another rush of desire through his veins. Tonight he was going to indulge himself in a detailed exploration of her body. Every inch of her would be recommitted to his memory.

“And which time is that, husband?” Makenna asked, trembling as he traced the lines of her jaw with his fingertips.

His smile broadened. “The times I get to ravish your body again and again throughout the night,” he reminded her as he lowered his mouth to her breast. The taste of it sent a shudder of excitement through him.

“As I said,
nothing
is going to change,” she affirmed between gasps as his mouth trailed down past her navel. Sexual tension seized her insides. She shuddered again as Colin tasted the very heart of her. Tonight she would remember for the rest of her life.

Late the next morning, Makenna met Laurel and Ceridwin in the great hall. Immediately, Laurel could tell the previous night’s events had continued quite favorably for her friend after she had left the party.

“So you have finally arrived. I take it Colin knows about the expected expansion of the McTiernay clan?”

Ceridwin turned in the chair abruptly. “You are going to have a baby?”

Makenna’s grin broadened even farther. “Indeed, I am.”

“And Colin is happy.” Laurel’s statement was more a question than clarification.

“Colin is
more
than happy,” Makenna confirmed, turning to face Ceridwin. “I have decided that you and Drake shall move into my sister’s old room. I doubt Ula will be returning, and there is no reason it should collect dust from nonuse. Besides, she had the most wonderful view from her window.”

Ceridwin sat in shocked silence, her hazel eyes wide with surprise. Drake didn’t want to delay their marriage, but neither of them wanted to stay with her aunts, and as a soldier he had never had a need for his own cottage. “Really? I mean, to live in the castle…it’s such an honor.”

“Nonsense. It’s silly not to make use of those rooms, and I am feeling incredibly generous today.”

“But what about the laird…?”

“It just so happens Colin is feeling just as generous as I this morning,” Makenna remarked. “Shall we go now and see what must be done?”

Nodding, Ceridwin leapt out of the chair and followed Makenna and Laurel into the inner yard. They made their way quickly to the tower that acted as a hub for the rear curtain wall.

Laurel was the first to enter the room. Makenna heard her sister-in-law’s sharp intake of breath and knew instantly there was something wrong. Squeezing between the stone doorway and a frozen Laurel, Makenna walked into the room and felt her blood begin to boil. Ceridwin must have come in as well, for Makenna heard her squeak, “Oh my.”

Tapestries were shredded and on the floor. What bedding was left was ripped and ruined. Hearth ashes were thrown everywhere. Worst of all was the McTiernay plaid. It hung over the hearth, burned, leaving only scraps and pieces to prove what it once was.

Laurel sensed the extreme tension winding in Makenna and knew she needed to get her out of the room immediately. With Ceridwin’s help, Laurel managed to get Makenna out of the tower and back into the yard.

Once outside, Laurel began rubbing Makenna’s arms now shaking with rage. “I don’t think it was recent, Makenna. There was quite a bit of dust collected, so the steps you took to remove the staff you didn’t trust probably worked.”

“My home!” Makenna hissed through gritted teeth. She shrugged Laurel’s arms off her and bunched her fists. “How dare they!”

Ceridwin bit her bottom lip and fought back tears. “It may be only one person. Perhaps, Lela…”

“Aye, it was Lela, but there were others. Others who
knew
what she was planning and did nothing about it.”

Laurel took a deep breath knowing that if this had occurred in her home, she would be just as furious. “You need to tell Colin, Makenna. It’s time he knew the full extent of what has been happening. And while you have every right to be angry, you must calm down. You are too early into your pregnancy. I have seen more than one woman lose her babe under emotional stress.”

Makenna took several deep breaths. “You are right. I will
not
let them take my child from me. And it is time I told Colin what is happening. He is planning something and should know.”

Laurel let go the deep breath she was holding. “Ceridwin and I will check the other unused rooms and then meet you in the hall.”

Makenna nodded in agreement and then left.

“Should we go with her?” Ceridwin asked, looking a little alarmed.

“What if it were you and Drake?” Laurel countered.

“Aye, I’d want to be alone.”

“Just know that the next time you see Colin, his anger is not
at
Makenna, but
for
her. I hope the Dunstans are ready, because very soon, I doubt it will matter anymore to Colin if they are.”

Makenna knocked and then opened the door to Colin’s dayroom located on the second floor of Canmore Tower. With Colin were his brother, Drake, Dunlop, and few other men she recognized from Conor’s guard.

Colin was surprised to see her and waved her over. As Makenna neared, the expression on her face conveyed more than any words she could have uttered. “What’s wrong?” he demanded softly.

Makenna shivered at the coldness in his voice. “There has been another incident. Someone wrecked Ula’s room. The tapestries were ripped, most of the bedding was ruined, and what was of any value was stolen. Very little can be salvaged. Laurel is right now with Ceridwin investigating the other unused rooms of the castle.”

Conor waved at Seamus. “Go find Laurel and do not leave her side until I say otherwise.”

Makenna watched as the tall, thin, handsome man left the room. Horrified that she left her friend in harm, she asked, “My God, Colin, is Laurel in danger?”

“No, but it would ease Conor’s mind to know that she is protected.”

Makenna crumpled into the empty seat vacated by Seamus. “This is my fault. It was my decision not to maintain the vacant rooms. It was my decision not to tell you everything that has been happening.”

“There is more?”

She nodded. “I’ve only been telling you some of the things that have occurred, but there have been many harrassments. Until today, they have been aggravating, but relatively minor. But Ula’s room…it was a deliberate attack against you and me. I could rip Lela’s hair out by the roots. I know it was her.”

Colin moved in close and clasped her fingertips in his hands with gentle authority. She didn’t realize how cold she was. “Listen to me, none of this is your fault. I will take care of this. You are not to do anything. I know you want to find Lela, but don’t. I need you to trust me.”

Before she could answer, Colin rose and leaned against his fists on the round table in the room. “Drake, you were about to tell me about last night. How many?”

Makenna stared at the muscles in Colin’s back, tense underneath his leine. She was seeing the strategic Colin, the planner. Last night he had been father and husband, and she had seen him as laird in many circumstances, but this was the first time she had witnessed him as a warrior preparing for battle.

Drake sat across the table. His jaws were clenched together. “At least a hundred have moved in across the loch. They haven’t budged since they arrived at daylight.”

“They’re waiting for a signal,” Conor surmised.

Drake nodded in agreement. “Aye, we think so. We didn’t want to risk being seen to find out.”

Colin turned toward Dunlop. “And what did you discover?”

The guard stopped stroking his chin. It was clear that he, too, was very disturbed at the timing of Makenna’s news. “Just as you suspected. He has help from at least two clans, but neither leader is going public with his support. We saw several changing into MacCuaig colors.”

“How many men?”

“Two, possibly three hundred of his forces are waiting in plain view just outside the southern border of Dunstan lands, perhaps two hours out on horseback. No doubt there are many more hidden.”

Colin bent his head and studied the grain on the table for a moment. When he spoke, his voice was full of authority and decision. “Drake, move the men along the ridge and wait for my signal.”

“Today, then?”

“Aye,” Colin answered solemnly. “It is time for the Dunstans to learn the might of my sword and the meaning of its absence. My wife and child will be with people of honor, and if the Dunstans cannot find their integrity, Lochlen is theirs; I want it no longer. Move all the men along the ridge.”

“All
the men?” Dunlop asked, somewhat surprised.

“Every last one of them. When it is time, I want only a sea of McTiernay soldiers to be in sight.” Dunlop inclined his head and left with Drake.

Conor rose with easy confidence. “I’ll order my men to remain hidden in the hills. I’ll talk to Laurel and then will meet you at the stables. I’m sending Laurel to my forces when I leave. Do you want Makenna to go with her?”

Standing, Makenna reached out and grasped Colin’s arm. “Colin, what is happening?”

Colin turned and said, “My hope is to mend this clan and bring them together, united under my leadership. I might have been willing to remain here until they were ready. Now I no longer care. Only you and the baby are important. I like Lochlen, I admire the Dunstan determination, but I will no longer stand by and wait while they persecute my family. Today, your clan will either prove they trust me, or you, my men, and I will leave.” He brushed his mouth lightly across hers before adding, “I need you to prepare to leave immediately. Pack only what is necessary and meet Laurel and Ceridwin by the gatehouse. Four soldiers will be waiting to take you three to Lammermuir Hills, where Conor’s force is waiting.”

“But would it not be better, safer, to remain here?”

Colin chuckled, pulling her close. “There are over a hundred of Conor’s men in those hills. You will be quite safe there.”

Makenna shrugged within his embrace and rested her head against his chest. “Your force may be smaller, Colin, but I am quite sure I would be just as safe with your men as I would be with Conor’s.”

Colin gripped her head between his hands and kissed her forehead with a surge of exasperation and pride. “My force is not smaller, love. Over a thousand of my men are lining up on that ridge. Men loyal to me, not the Dunstans. And if I pull out of Lochlen, I want you already safe and gone. Trust me.”

Makenna gave him one last hug, praying that her people heard what he had tried to tell them last night. Heard and paid heed to the warning.

Makenna was packing her bag when she remembered Camus. She quickly dashed out of the tower and across the courtyard. There was one more thing she had to get. She refused to leave without it. And, if possible, give it to Colin before he faced her people.

Laurel saw Makenna heading toward the inner gatehouse and moved to intercept her. “Makenna, over here! I am waiting for Ceridwin to finish packing. She is coming with us.”

Makenna gave a curt nod of gratitude for taking care of her new friend. “I must get to the armory before Colin leaves.”

Laurel put out a hand to stall her. “The armory? I don’t think…”

Makenna’s smile was without humor. “You don’t understand, but you will. I have to hurry if I am going to catch up with Colin. He was going to the stables when I went to pack.”

“Makenna, Conor said that you were to come with us. He was very clear.”

“Once I leave the armory, I am going to try one last time to convince Colin to let me ride with him.”

“But…”

Makenna’s eyes were the color of jade, firm, resolute and unbending. “I ask you, Laurel, truthfully. Would you not try to be with Conor, show him loyalty, visibly support his decision, if you could? You told me once I might have to choose between Colin and my people. I have chosen. I will always love this land, Lochlen, and my clan, but my loyalties lie first and foremost with my husband. Please say you understand.”

Laurel blinked away tears welling up in her eyes. “Yes, if it were Conor, I would want to be there.”

Makenna clasped Laurel’s hands, thanking her. “I promise to return immediately to the stables if Colin says no. I won’t argue, I promise. Ten minutes is all I need. If I do not meet you there, then you will know that I have persuaded him to let me come.”

Laurel embraced Makenna, fighting a growing sense of unease. “Hurry, Makenna,” she whispered. “Ceridwin and I will wait for you.”

Makenna gave one last squeeze before letting go. “I will and take care, my newest sister.”

Laurel watched as Makenna disappeared through the last portcullis hurrying toward the right. Moments later Ceridwin and she headed toward the stables and waited.

Colin marched across the outer yard heading for the stables. Dunlop met him halfway and handed him the reins of his horse. He had seen Colin in many moods, but the cold anger that had flared to life that morning would chill anyone who looked upon him, even his own men.

Retrieving the leather strips held out for him, Colin looked up. The dark sky was overcast, but it was not yet raining. Most likely, it would not break loose until nightfall, and then it would rain heavily. One way or another, this matter would be closed by then.

Seeing Camus across the yard, Colin signaled him. The sword smith raised a bronzed, wizened hand and then disappeared inside his shop. Heavy pounding of a horse approached from behind. His brother was ready.

“Shall we ride?” Conor asked, pulling his dark stallion to a stop beside Colin.

“Almost,” Colin answered. “I am waiting on Camus and then we will go.”

As if on cue, Camus appeared again carrying a very large clublike weapon reinforced on the end with a thick metal used in armor and battle-axes. “Per your specifications, I believe, Laird,” he said curiously as he handed over the heavy object.

Colin took the macelike club in one hand and examined it. “Aye, this is exactly what I need. If you are ready, get a horse and ride to the
Lammermuir Hills.”

“I’m ready,” Camus replied, patting a bag he had swung over his shoulder.

Colin threw the heavy object at Conor and mounted his horse. Grabbing it, Conor grunted at the weight and then turned it over appreciatively. Lifting his brows in approval, he silently praised Camus’s workmanship. “Fine instrument. It should do quite nicely.”

Colin reclaimed the weapon and faced Dunlop. “Are they expecting me?”

Dunlop nodded and replied through stiff lips, “They are. Word was sent you were coming. They are gathering by the Commune Tree near the wall. No doubt more will come at the moment of your arrival.”

Colin’s face hardened, his expression ominous. “Then let us ride.”

Seconds later the group headed toward the outer gate and proceeded directly to the town wall. Colin rode out front, keeping the gait slow and steady as he rode deliberately alongside the wall. Conor and Dunlop remained a safe distance back knowing what was about to happen.